What is this place?

July 16th, 2010  / Author: Meankitty

While simplicity and spelling errors have their place on the feline internet, if you long for something more substantial… If you know in your heart of hearts that kitties are not sweet or kind or cuddly…

This is the place for an in-depth revelation of kitty antics that are *not* so cute, the place where the real face of kitty is revealed. This is…

Meankitty.com. We’re happy to flea you. I mean, see you. Kitties do like their fresh meat.

Share

Gallery: Cairo

July 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Cairo
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)

Cairo the Meankitty

I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!

What makes Cairo so mean?

Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.

The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.

Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.

Cairo the Meankitty

I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.

Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!

Photo submitted by: Jennifer

Share

Advice: Places to Puke

July 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

Have you ever thrown up on a tile floor, covered it with a piece of newspaper and watched as your slaves slip and fall? Do it in the early in the morning before your slave gets the hot brown stink water and position it so he has to step on it to get to the light switch. After he slips–run! Go in the bathroom, stretch out on the towels you pulled down from the rack and look innocent. Good fun!

Signed,
Teevors, ZsaZsa, Chee, the Lady Di and Jake

***

Dear Manycats,

Sounds like you could be writing advice on this site! Those of you who are visiting here looking for SOHC tips to annoy your humans, that’s a good one.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Share

Gallery: Baallow

July 25th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Baallow
Location: Dunno

Baallow the Meankitty

I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!

What makes Baallow so mean?

Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.

Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.

Baallow the Meankitty

You look like fava beans to me, dog....

We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.

She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.

Photo submitted by: Anon

Share

Advice: Cat Fur Physics

July 25th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

Please explain the physics behind cat fur and why it doesn’t making sitting in sun spots and other warm areas uncomfortable.

Sincerely,
A Smart Alec Human That Is Trying to Stump You

***

Dear Stump,

Dude, I’m not allowed to tell you that! Don’t you know anything about the SOHC?

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Share

Gallery: Abby 2 (Abz)

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Abby (Abz)
Location: Unknown

Abz the Cat

Sometimes I get tired of the constant attacking and stretch out my whacking muscles.

What makes Abz so mean?

This is our mean as kitty, Abby. I’m not going to lie and tell you that she is the world’s meanest kitty, because she is. It is no lie.

She has a massive superiority complex and is totally arrogant. She constantly stares at you in disbelief thinking “My god, could a being get any dumber than a human?!” When not staring at you in contempt, she is either demanding you worship her, feed her, or sometimes both.

Abby aka Abz

If you take my photo, I will attack you.

If approached too suddenly, Abby will attack you. If you are too loud around her, she will attack you. If you pat her incorrectly, she will attack you. In fact, there’s not a great deal you can do that won’t result in a attack except stay away from her.

When she catches things, she throws them against walls and furniture until they die. Then she attacks you. I have a 3-inch scar on my abdomen, not from a cute little kitty scratch, but a vile laceration delivered with precision that bled profusely.

Nevertheless, she is adored by us.

Photos submitted by: Randall

Share

Gallery: Abbey

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty
Name: Abbey
Location: NY

Are there other terms besides mine IN this world? I think not...I'm a cat!

What makes Abbey so mean?

We call her our nasty New Yorker kitty. I picked her up at a local street fair in Upstate New York eight years ago. She was the last kitten in a cardboard box. No one wanted her, so I carried her home. She was tiny, but that didn’t keep her from beating up my Mom’s three other cats when I got her there. 

She was infested with fleas, worms, and the worst case of ear mites our vet had ever seen! Anyway, she is not to be messed with. She will come and love you on her terms, but if you pet her too long, she will swat or bite you! She really hates to be touched at all, and just forget about picking her up! She’s a very verbal meankitty, and has lots of ways of telling people to piss off.

Abbey particularly hates other cats. She TOLERATES our two male kitties because they are bigger than she is. If they come too close, WHAM! she smacks them! We also have two Great Pyrenees dogs who each weigh about 90 pounds. She hates them too. If they come too close when they walk by, she sinks her teeth into their fur with a vengeance.

Photo submitted by: Emily

Share

Gallery: Abbe

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Abbe
Location: Unknown

Abbe Loaf

Abbe Loaf? I'm gonna LOAF you, human, into mincemeat.

What makes Abbe so mean?

Abbe is a demoness (she even wears a little pewter tag that reads, “Demon Kitty”), but she has a valid excuse. She is a rescue cat, who was rescued from a very abusive situation. She was placed in three different foster homes, and returned because she was so vicious that the foster care staff couldn’t do a thing with her. The staff was at wit’s end but really really wanted to give her every extra chance they could, since they felt so sorry for her after all she’d been through. Still, she was within a few days of being put to sleep when my housemate saw her in Petco, was told her story, and took pity on her. Not that Abbe wants anybody’s stinkin’ pity. It took him a long time to win her over, but he is even more stubborn than she is. She made us all work very hard to earn positions on her household staff.

She is The Queen, and never lets anyone forget it. She rules all human and animal family members with an iron paw. 

Photo submitted by: Rilla

Share

Gallery: Abby

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Abby
Location: NY House of Cats

Abby from New York

Actually human flesh tastes horrible. I'd rather eat the generic Special Kitty than monkey fingers!

What makes Abby so mean?

This is Abby. Abby loves the taste of human flesh. She also leaves little brown presents for her owners to stroll through. She and the rest are still PO’d at us because we no longer can afford canned cat food. (They were going through 40 cans a week!!! Twenty bucks a week is too much — they eat better than I do!)

Since I decided the cats can make a few sacrifices for me, Abby has pretty much decided I am on her S list. S standing for “shred”.

Photo submitted by: Connie

Share

Advice: Cat Thrones

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

I am going to make my kitty a proper throne (cat bed) because my own bed is not worthy. What do you think is the best fabric to make it from? Should it be velvet of faux fur? Or something even better?

Rao,
Crafty Slave

***

Dear Crafty,

It all depends. What color is your cat? Choose a contrasting fabric so the hair will show up better. Fuzzy fabrics are also greatly appreciated, like the fuzzy blanket D likes to, um, “embrace” whenever he can’t get his paws on me. Yeah, I know, he’s supposed to be fixed, but I’m so sleek and cute I think I reinvigorate the most snipped of toms. At least, that’s been my experience. But back to this throne. Contrasting fuzzy fabric. Right.

Also, if you’re making a kitty throne because you want the kitty off your bed, it won’t work. Beds is beds.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Share

Gallery: Musspuss

July 23rd, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: MussPuss
Location: New Zealand

Musspuss is a meankitty

Mmmmm, I love snacking on humans! High in fiber, low in hairballs, and the screaming is music to my ears.

What makes MussPuss so mean?

She’s one of those cats who looks all fluffy and cuddly but is really Satan on four legs. No ankle is safe when she is around. She’s especially bad when she’s been given fresh red meat for dinner.

As you can see by the picture she is in the middle of making a meal out of my hand.

Submitted by: Christy W.

Share