Meankitty.com

Name: Wennie
Location: Southern PA

Oh, that's not healthy for you, slave...better let me take care of that for you. Nice of me!

What makes Wennie so mean?

I cry foul! My conniving, disloyal typing slave (I mean, my poor, misguided mistress) has expressed her intention of entering me for the Meankitty Gallery! I’m not a Meankitty! I am a very Nice kitty!

I come when I’m called (sometimes). I let myself be picked up any which way. I help keep my mistress warm at night and I wake her up in the morning by knocking everything off the nightstand or emptying out her jewelry chest. Saves the trouble of having an alarm clock. I have even refrained from tearing the nostrils out of that stupid, interloping dog my typing slave insisted on bringing into the house last spring–I mean, I play ever so nicely with my canine brother!

This is my Nicekitty expression. I'm not at ALL thinking about chewing off the canine's ear.

So how could I be a Meankitty? That time I bit that lady from my mistress’s new job who came to the house with a check, I was just letting her know the check had better not bounce! And the time I scratched my mistress under the eye and turned it all black and blue? It was for her own good. She wouldn’t put me down so I could defend her against the evil kitties across the street! And the time I grabbed the pet sitter’s hand in my claws and bit her so hard she had to go to the emergency room? I was just putting her on notice that she’d better leave my mistress’s things alone while she was gone!

I do so much for that stupid, ungrateful typing slave– I mean, my beloved mistress! How could she say I’m a Meankitty? I’m a Nicekitty, do you hear, a Nicekitty!!

Prithee hearken! Do I spy a stray! Let me just climb this tree and jump out onto your head and chase that nasty flea-bitten thing off our property, wot wot?

And I’ll scratch the eyes out of anyone who says otherwise!!!

Submitted by: Kathy (Wennie herself never submits)

Name: Watson (2)
Location: New Zealand

The white spot on my lip? An angel kiss. I kid you not!

What makes Watson so mean?

I found Watson when I worked at the local SPCA- he and his sister were brought in from a tough neighbourhood. At 8 weeks old, he had already had a taste of being tough: his ear had been torn in a fight.

After his hernia recovery (he fell out of a tree) is when he showed his true colours: his adult teeth were coming in so he tried them out by biting anything he could get his grubby little paws on: me, my husband, the other kitten, his toys and eventually, his favourite chewing toy was our German Shepherd, Misty.

But he grew out of that. His new favourite hobby was to attack our other kitten, Greuber, whenever he got the chance. Watson would lie in wait and would launch himself after Greuber (who was peacefuly sleeping). His targets kept growing as he did: first it was Greuber, then it was the dog. He routinely kicks the dog off her bed, eats her food and launches himself at the dog so he can bite her face, ears, nose and head. He’s given her a few scratches to the general eye area. He then decided that the dog’s bed wasn’t good enough and started sleeping on our bed. Night after night now he takes up half the bed for himself and makes my husband and I move to the other half. Occasionally, he’ll sleep on top of us both and with just a look keeps us still until he decides he wants to move.

He’s earned the nickname “vampire kitty”, not only because of his long teeth, but he’ll climb onto the chair under the pretence of grooming poor, unsuspecting Greuber, but then…he bites Greuber on the neck and won’t let go. Wherever Greuber’s sleeping, that’s where he must be.

No, for the last time, I am NOT sharing my mangled snack!

His mean nature extends to those poor woodland creatures such as birds and mice (no squirrels here thankfully). He plays with them, kills them and plays with them more until their mangled bodies don’t resemble anything small, furry or feathery anymore- they are quite literally a shell of their former selves. Nothing is safe from this cat.

He doesn’t even have to say a word to get his way. Everyone thinks he’s the perfect little angel kitty. But we know better…

Submitted by: Mollie

Name: Watson
Location: Canada

The great trick is there never WAS a previous human slave, just some buddies of mine dressed up in a trench coat and standing on each other's heads. We got the idea from a cartoon. Humans will believe anything!

What makes Watson so mean?

Don’t be fooled by the peaceful demeanor and reading the Bible. This is one ferocious feline. She arrived just before Christmas one year to stay as a guest while her “owner” (i.e. previous domestic staff) was out of town for a few days. Well, day 2 of her visit, she bit her host on the finger bad enough to require IV antibiotics and 3 months of physiotherapy. Then she hid in the basement for a month.

NOW, she rules the household. Current favorite tricks are:
- Sitting in the middle of the stairs, and taking a swipe at the human as he walks by.
- Walking across the computer keyboard, just to make her contribution to that e-mail or other dockkkkkEEEEEDDDFument.
- Sampling EVERYTHING the human eats or appears to eat. (No, Watson, you don’t want dental floss. Or my cellphone). She does, however, eat peas, corn, lima beans, and parsley. And will kill for chicken.
- Hissing at and generally annoying any girlfriends who visit.
- Awakening the human at odd hours of the night and whining if asked to move off the human’s pillow – even though she has her own.
- Sharpening her claws on the carpet on the stairs (so she can lie down while doing it) and testing them on a regular basis on the human.
- Insisting the bird feeder outside her window is kept constantly stocked, for her viewing pleasure.

Oddly enough, the previous human has remained out of town, so Watson remains with the new human. And the finger is doing much better, thank you.

Submitted by: Cam

Name: Willie
Location: Unknown

My house. My yard. My rules. You don't like it? Get out. But come back whenever I need a door opened, 'kay?

What makes Willie so mean?

She’s a total wench! She’s evil. She was brought into this world to make my life difficult. She chases people out of the house and across the yard, even people like me who live there.

Submitted by: Anon

Name: Weechin
Location: Under the beds, spitting out meds

Do not pose the S'wee in tawdry photos or the Swee will shred you later.

What makes Weechin so mean?

Her name is because when she was a kitten she had a small (wee) chin. Her current nickname is S’wee which stands for Sweet Wee. She just turned one year old and to celebrate her “coming out” she decided to Belly Up to the Bar at our house. She is so temperamental and touchy that we developed a top-ten list of “Things Not to do to the S’wee”.

1. Do not kiss the S’wee
2. Do not pickup/hold the S’wee
3. Do not approach the S’wee
4. Do not taunt the S’wee
5. Do not look at the S’wee
6. Do not roughhouse with the S’wee
7. Do not make loud noises around the S’wee
8. Do not keep old food in bowl of the S’wee (if it’s more than an hour old she will not eat it)
9. Do not talk to the S’wee
10. Do not ignore the S’wee

All of the above are from true experiences that either my wife or I have encountered.

Submitted by: Steve

Name: Winston (3)
Location: Unknown

*singing* "I was blinded by the light! So I dropped a deuce and made some odor in the night!"

What makes Winston so mean?

Someone abandoned this little sweetie at the local fire station. He was tiny and charming and irresistible. Of course, we gave him a home. While he has some loveable qualities — he provides entertainment by attacking our older cats and he occasionally gets very lovey — he has a mean streak.

Winston likes to poop on our bathroom rugs. He seems to have a fetish for the texture and takes delight in dropping the deuce on our nice bathmats. He’s moved on now to leaving deposits on our downstairs rugs near the front and back doors.

When he’s not dropping little bombs in nasty places, he lies in wait to attack his feline companions or our feet. He rolls over expecting to have his tummy scratched (like a dog). He definitely thinks we are his human slaves, and Ihe did an excellent job of sucking us into his mind control. After all, we did take him in when somebody else didn’t want him.

Nothing to see here, move along, move along.

ETA: The somewhat small cat in the photo I originally sent is now a 22 pound behemoth. He’s still a pooper, and he’s also adopted an alternative lifestyle with our other male cat, Skippy (he’s on meankitty, too). Winston’s into cleaning other cats’ bottoms with his tongue and he and Skippy make out quite a bit.

Winston has also developed a foot fetish. He sprawls on his back so you can massage him like some sort of human slave geisha. He’s really turned into an interesting, and frustrating, critter.

Photo submitted by: Sandi S.

Name: Winston (2)
Location: Bountiful, UT

Just you wait and see what comes out in the litterbox after this meal!

What makes Winston so mean?

Winston is not really a mean cat although he plays a little rough and can leave you looking like you’ve been in a razor fight if you get him riled.

Can you believe I have my humans fooled into thinking I'm not that mean? And the guy goes around bleeding all the time!

Like most cats he loves to get in boxes to play. For some reason he decided to remove the sides from the cardboard box in the picture. He did a good job of removing the sides one bite at a time although it took him some time to finish the job.

Submitted by: Frank Barking (Mad)

Name: Winston
Location: California

Me, not mean? I'm so sly I've got them thinking mean is nice and nice is nonexistent!

What makes Winston so mean?

This is Winston, so named because of his uncanny resemblance to Winston Churchill, displaying his only two expressions: eyes open and eyes closed. Now I have to admit something: despite his grumpy old man expression, Winston is NOT a meankitty! He is actually the very definition of pussycat (look in the dictionary under pussycat, you’ll see it says, “Winston.”).

Stuffed squeaky toy imitation to lure in the humans commencing in 3...2...1...

About the only mean thing I can think of is the way he teases: he’ll look absolutely adorable (not hard for him), and then when you can’t stand it anymore and feel like you MUST pick him up and smoosh him, he’ll make a break for it beneath a chair or something where you can’t get him. Oh yeah, and he squeaks. Just like a stuffed toy. But he’s real, I swear it!

Submitted by: Trina

Name: Woozles
Location: Unknown

Hey...you gonna eat that or can I have it?

What makes Woozles so mean?

This is Woozles….alias ‘The Scourge of Shelley’, ‘Big Fat’ or just plain ‘Big Puss’ He was a stray who attached himself to us because we offered him a morsel of cheese. He is the scourge of the neighborhood – even grabbing us with his paw as we walk past him (now we know why he was dumped!) but as the picture shows he does a good job on the rat front.

Despite us finding the tattoo in his ear that indicates he is neutered, he has been spotted mounting poor innocent female cats and is extremely territorial…which is why our other cat spends most of her time up on the roof of our house, out of reach of the jumping capabilities of ‘Big Fat’. He is one big nasty cat!

Photo submitted by: Xavier

NameL While You Were Out
Location: Where You Aren’t

Meankitty redecorating: curtains, for swinging. couches, for scratching. beds, for puking hairballs!

What makes WYWO so mean?

Although the silly human slave who submitted the picture couldn’t be bothered to supply this cat’s name or location, he has proved the cat belongs in the Meankitty Gallery by showing what “Blackie”, the “While You Were Out” kitty redecorating show host, has done to improve his view out the window.

Photo submitted by: Christopher Price