Posts Tagged ‘W’

Gallery: Woozles

Friday, April 4th, 2014

Name: Woozles
Location: Unknown

Woozles is a meankitty

Hey…you gonna eat that or can I have it?

What makes Woozles so mean?

This is Woozles….alias ‘The Scourge of Shelley’, ‘Big Fat’ or just plain ‘Big Puss’ He was a stray who attached himself to us because we offered him a morsel of cheese. He is the scourge of the neighborhood – even grabbing us with his paw as we walk past him (now we know why he was dumped!) but as the picture shows he does a good job on the rat front.

Despite us finding the tattoo in his ear that indicates he is neutered, he has been spotted mounting poor innocent female cats and is extremely territorial…which is why our other cat spends most of her time up on the roof of our house, out of reach of the jumping capabilities of ‘Big Fat’. He is one big nasty cat!

Photo submitted by: Xavier

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Gallery: Waldo

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

Name: Waldo
Location: His Department

Waldo is right here

Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!

What makes Waldo so mean?

Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

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Gallery: Wally Moto

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

Name: Wally Moto
Location: Texas

Wally is mean

This is me at 3 days, after clawing through the siding. Man, that was hard work.

What makes Wally so mean?

My name is Wally Moto and I am the meanest kitty in the State/Republic of Texas. When I was two days old my Biological Mom dropped me between the walls of my Dad’s shop (something about my constant whining). I meowed for a day and a half until my dad heard me and removed the siding from the outside of the building. Yeah, that siding and insulation would have been history if I’d stayed in there any longer. He dubbed me Wally and mom added the Moto because she said I looked Siamese.

He SHOULD have pulled me out sooner–I’ve been retaliating ever since. My favorite target is my slave Mom. I let her know in no uncertain terms where she may go in the house and yard. She sure looks silly with all those band-aids on her legs and arms. If Dad catches me, he makes me leave Mom alone. I usually just freeze on her leg and hope he won’t notice me.

Wallly is mean

This is me laughing at Mom running from the possibly rabid chipmunk I loosed in her vicinity.

I demand daily treats and yowl constantly (when I’m not hissing). I take daily inventory of the house, garage, and yard to see if anything has changed. When I’m patrolling Dad calls me the “Little General”. I love to shower daily affection on my dad. He rules! I let my Mom hold me for a few minutes each morning–I HAVE to do this because she buys my food, feeds me, opens the door when I want in or out, de-fleas me, takes me to the vet, pays my vet bills and defends me when Dad says I’m worthless. So I figure I can tolerate fifteen minutes a week from her. Besides, she trainable.

I enjoy killing birds, mice/rats, and lizards. I leave them on the back step so Dad can see them and Mom can dispose of them. I attack dogs if they come in the front yard, cats if they even look in my yard, and the mailman and I have had a few rounds. At just under twenty pounds, it’s my way or blood will be let. Go ahead and squirt me with the water hose–I love water.

Wally is mean

This is me about to pounce Mom's face. That camera is NO protection!

Mom wrote this ballad for me when she realized my biological Mom dropped me down the wall on purpose. If you hum “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in your head, you’ll be able to sing the ballad.

The Ballad of Wally Moto

My name is Wally Moto and I’m a little cat!
My mama she was Siamese and my daddy he was black.
I am an evil kitty,
I have been since my spawn.
My mama didn’t want me so she dropped me down the wall!
But I don’t look back,
I’m a cat.
I like to claw and I like to scratch.
I don’t look back,
I’m just a cat.
I like to paw and I like to claw.

Photo submitted by: Wally’s humans

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Gallery: WYWO

Saturday, January 18th, 2014

NameL While You Were Out
Location: Where You Aren’t

While You Were Out kitty

Meankitty redecorating: curtains, for swinging. couches, for scratching. beds, for puking hairballs!

What makes WYWO so mean?

Although the silly human slave who submitted the picture couldn’t be bothered to supply this cat’s name or location, he has proved the cat belongs in the Meankitty Gallery by showing what “Blackie”, the “While You Were Out” kitty redecorating show host, has done to improve his view out the window.

Photo submitted by: Christopher Price

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Gallery: Whiskas

Saturday, January 4th, 2014

Name: Whiskas
Location: Australia

Whiskas the Meankitty

Directly after this photo, Whiska hunted down a jackaloo. If you don't know what a jackaloo is, that's because Whiskas killed them all.

What makes Whiskas so mean?

My mean kitty’s name is Whiskas and we got him when he was 2 months old from Animal Welfare Rescue for Cats. This nice lady who’s name was Leanne owned this small town house in Ballina NSW Australia and she was one of my dad’s customers because he’s a shed builder and she had HEAPS of cats and kittens. She works at Animal Welfare and chose to be the cat lady. Whiskas is a *not* so-sweet kitty because he’s both domestic and feral cat and ALWAYS comes home with 2 scabs or more. One time he got a Paralysis tick and got a huge hole in his chest and most of the time it was bleeding and had lots of pus in it. I’m surprised he even survived. Last night I was watching Coraline and he came in had a nap and then wanted to go outside again (he spends his time outside a lot).

He’s so funny when it comes to bringing the dogs to work! He’ll jump on the roof of mum’s Ute and tease the dogs by just sitting there and licking his paw like they’re not there. It’s HILARIOUS! He’s sometimes very playful and we have a cat tower and some toys but he uses the toys and only uses the tower to sharpen his claws on the twine scratching poles used as columns for the tower (and most importantly my cat’s extreme weight) and will go straight out again to play with my friend Cleo’s cat, Coda, and this morning we found Whiskas sitting down near the few trees beside our house and watched Coda chase butterflies and birds and we usually feed him when he comes home but most of the time he’s out hunting. I really wish he’d just be a home cat but oh no, that’s too interfering with his hunting (sarcasm). But anyway, I hope you love my submission and Bye!

Photo submitted by: Taylor (age 10)

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Gallery: Waffle

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

Name: Waffle Pumpkin Rainbow Peanut Butter Peanut Butter Cinnamon Sugar Cookie Marshmallow Meanie
Location: Unknown

Waffles bites

It is easy to rip the camera out of your grasp because your fingers are dead. Yeah, that's why they call you Zombie Hands.

What makes Waffle so mean?

Waffle bites. No, it’s not a new Eggo treat, it’s the cat.

Waffle was born on the street, grew up a tough little kitty, and was rescued by the animal shelter. On my birthday we went to pick out a kitten for me. She was the biggest kitty there, which we needed because we have two big dogs. Rosie, one of the dogs, still stares at her like she was a real waffle. We brought her home, and the first week we discovered she had a thing for toes under blankets late at night. My first day of school I was exhausted because all night I’d been kept awake by Waffle, gnawing on my toes, and doing this thing where, when she had my toes, she would start trying to dig into them with her back feet.

Now that she’s older, she terrorizes her grampa kitty, Peachy Lee, who is extremely thin because Waffle is starving him. We’re trying to get him to eat, but it’s like she’s threatened to cut him if he does. Whenever someone new comes to the house, she sniffs them, hides, and waits until they are relaxed before she attacks. She will bite anything that even resembles her pink comb–she hates that comb. She thinks she’s the queen, and she even has a rhinestone collar, which we had to take away, because the sound of that collar clinking would freak Peachy Lee out.

When you pet the Waffle Queen, she will bite your fingers to death. One time she scratched me so hard I have scars. We try to keep her claws trimmed, but we are only unworthy human slaves, incapable of remembering when to clip Waffle Queen’s royal nails.

Photo submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: Watson

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Name: Watson
Location: Canada

Watson is a meankitty

The great trick is there never WAS a previous human slave, just some buddies of mine dressed up in a trench coat and standing on each other’s heads. We got the idea from a cartoon. Humans will believe anything!

What makes Watson so mean?

Don’t be fooled by the peaceful demeanor and reading the Bible. This is one ferocious feline. She arrived just before Christmas one year to stay as a guest while her “owner” (i.e. previous domestic staff) was out of town for a few days. Well, day 2 of her visit, she bit her host on the finger bad enough to require IV antibiotics and 3 months of physiotherapy. Then she hid in the basement for a month.

NOW, she rules the household. Current favorite tricks are:
- Sitting in the middle of the stairs, and taking a swipe at the human as he walks by.
- Walking across the computer keyboard, just to make her contribution to that e-mail or other dockkkkkEEEEEDDDFument.
- Sampling EVERYTHING the human eats or appears to eat. (No, Watson, you don’t want dental floss. Or my cellphone). She does, however, eat peas, corn, lima beans, and parsley. And will kill for chicken.
- Hissing at and generally annoying any girlfriends who visit.
- Awakening the human at odd hours of the night and whining if asked to move off the human’s pillow – even though she has her own.
- Sharpening her claws on the carpet on the stairs (so she can lie down while doing it) and testing them on a regular basis on the human.
- Insisting the bird feeder outside her window is kept constantly stocked, for her viewing pleasure.

Oddly enough, the previous human has remained out of town, so Watson remains with the new human. And the finger is doing much better, thank you.

Submitted by: Cam

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Gallery: Woody

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Name: Woody
Location: North Carolina

Woody face

I am the MAKER of house rules. You got a problem wit' dat?

What makes Woody so mean?

This is Woody, who is not so much mean as he is the most annoying cat on the face of the earth.

Woody drinks

I'm not drinking...I'm spitting catbutt germs, hehehe.

His habits include drinking V8 juice out of MY glass, knocking everything off the bedside table when he thinks it time to get up – including the clock and lamp, and jiggling the toilet handle while I’m in the shower. He will learn to flush and scald me one of these days.

Woody is a meankitty

That was tasssssssssty. Thanks for leaving it unmonitored!

He has also made a house rule that all pens and pencils are to be on the floor at all times. Need a pen? Look down.

Submitted by: Barbara

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Gallery: Wilma

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Name: Wilma
Location: Unknown

Wilma is mean

It is NOT time for my close-up, so bug off!

What makes Wilma so mean?

Wilma doesn’t like to be interrupted when she’s sunbathing, not even by admiring fans like myself who just want a quick photo and an autograph. She’ll give me an autograph, all right…with her claw!

Submitted by: J. Miller

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Gallery: Willow 3

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Name: Willow
Location: UK

Willow is meanie

I also whine when I draw blood from houseguests. Makes for an interesting contrast.

What makes Willow so mean?

Say hello (from a distance) to Willow aka Willow Fatbelly or Willowmeister. One day, I wandered into a pet shop and saw this tiny little kitten, all meek and stripey and cute, and decided upon her immediately. I should have taken heed of the shop owner who told me she’s never stopped miaowing all day.

“Piffle” I thought. Until I got her out of the shop….

That was 11 years ago and she hasn’t shut up since! She whines for food, for comfort, if there’s a draught, if it’s too hot, if someone looks at her the wrong way. She sulks when we go on holiday and by accounts of the people who come to feed her, she lays on the bed, festering, only moving downstairs for food.

Caretakers have been known to resort to using a long stick to pry her feeding bowl away from her reach – go any closer than that and human blood and flesh is a certainty.

Unsuspecting house-guests have commented on her lovely markings and gone to stroke her. Too late; they don’t see the change of look in her eye and they are just yet another statistic of The Willowmeister!

Submitted by: Allie

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