Meankitty.com

Name: Waldo
Location: His Department

Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!

What makes Waldo so mean?

Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

Name: Woody
Location: North Carolina

I am the MAKER of house rules. You got a problem wit' dat?

What makes Woody so mean?

This is Woody, who is not so much mean as he is the most annoying cat on the face of the earth.

I'm not drinking...I'm spitting catbutt germs, hehehe.

His habits include drinking V8 juice out of MY glass, knocking everything off the bedside table when he thinks it time to get up – including the clock and lamp, and jiggling the toilet handle while I’m in the shower. He will learn to flush and scald me one of these days.

That was tasssssssssty. Thanks for leaving it unmonitored!

He has also made a house rule that all pens and pencils are to be on the floor at all times. Need a pen? Look down.

Submitted by: Barbara

Name: Wilma
Location: Unknown

It is NOT time for my close-up, so bug off!

What makes Wilma so mean?

Wilma doesn’t like to be interrupted when she’s sunbathing, not even by admiring fans like myself who just want a quick photo and an autograph. She’ll give me an autograph, all right…with her claw!

Submitted by: J. Miller

Name: Willow
Location: UK

I also whine when I draw blood from houseguests. Makes for an interesting contrast.

What makes Willow so mean?

Say hello (from a distance) to Willow aka Willow Fatbelly or Willowmeister. One day, I wandered into a pet shop and saw this tiny little kitten, all meek and stripey and cute, and decided upon her immediately. I should have taken heed of the shop owner who told me she’s never stopped miaowing all day.

“Piffle” I thought. Until I got her out of the shop….

That was 11 years ago and she hasn’t shut up since! She whines for food, for comfort, if there’s a draught, if it’s too hot, if someone looks at her the wrong way. She sulks when we go on holiday and by accounts of the people who come to feed her, she lays on the bed, festering, only moving downstairs for food.

Caretakers have been known to resort to using a long stick to pry her feeding bowl away from her reach – go any closer than that and human blood and flesh is a certainty.

Unsuspecting house-guests have commented on her lovely markings and gone to stroke her. Too late; they don’t see the change of look in her eye and they are just yet another statistic of The Willowmeister!

Submitted by: Allie

Name: Willow
Location: Unknown

I'm BORN TO BE WILD, baby. Not to mention BAD TO THE BONE. A regular IRONMAN.

What makes Willow so mean?

Willow hates absolutely everything except food, water, sleep, and causing pain. He is disinterested in all things calm and relaxing. Lately, he only stops by the apartment to eat. If not here, he’s in the woods adjacent to our apartment complex terrorizing the other cats and viciously murdering the field mice there. His dominion is this small patch of woods.

The other cats run when they see him. He is their tyrant. Their dictator of the deciduous home away from home. The savage hammer-pawed assassin of the night. His favorite spot to rest after a busy night’s bloody romp in the woods? The bathroom sink, where he cleanses himself of his sins so he can commit them again 12 hours later. If he had his way, you wouldn’t be around reading this.

Submitted by: Matt

Name: Willow
Location: NL

Come on, gimme the booklet...I gotta use the bathroom, anyway.

What makes Willow so mean?

This is a photo of our cat Willow. Willow doesn’t like people who deliver commercial booklets or sponsored newspapers. He guards our door from those evil paper enemies. If the delivery guy doesn’t get the meaning of the ‘NEE/NEE sticker’ he’ll explain it to him. Beware…

Submitted by: Irene

Name: Willa
Location: Unknown

It's MY bed! Sheesh! She tries to steal it from me.

What makes Willa so mean?

This is the lovely Willa. She looks really sweet, but it’s all a sham. She acts all cute and rolls over on her belly and you can’t resist, you have to rub her tummy and WAMMO! She bites off a finger! Sometimes she even pretends she likes the petting at first; that’s what makes it an especially nasty trick.

And forget about her having any friends. She don’t need ‘em. If she doesn’t know you, (basically, if you happen to not be me) she’ll hiss at you, growl at you and there’s a good chance she’ll bite you too. She likes to inflict pain on others, especially if it draws blood.

She is also one of those pillow stealing kitties. I wake up in the middle of the night to discover she’s stolen my pillow and is hogging most of the bed, purring the whole time. No matter how many times I push her off, she keeps coming back, keeps stealing my pillow and hogging the bed in that passive aggressive kind of way. I end up not sleeping very well. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention her evil trick of hiding under the bed at bedtime and then BAM! She leaps out and bites your toes! Ahhhhh!

Submitted by: Katherine

Name: Widget
Location: Freeport, IL

And I could rule the world, too, if it weren't for you meddling humans.

What makes Widget so mean?

Widget looks pretty and has very soft fur. Don’t let it deceive you. She is an extremely territorial witch to my 2 other kitties. She has never adjusted to life with other cats after her life as a stray. She mercilessly pursues them into hiding places to instigate. One cat screams upon seeing her, and another lies down and curls herself into a ball, knowing she can’t beat Widget’s mean butt.

Widget isn’t just being defensive, but OFFENSIVE as she growls, hisses, jumps on them and proceeds to try and shred their skin. My other cats have become terrified of her. I see them creeping around furniture, fearful of her ambushing them. Our eldest cat, Princess, has become so afraid she will growl and hiss at anything that comes near her after a confrontation with Widget.

Widget is such a nasty housemate to the others that we have had to do a “kitty exchange” and keep her in a bedroom 12 hours a day, while our other cats roam free, and let her out alone to be the night cat, while they stay separated.

Widget has totally massacred our carpet at the bedroom doors because she is trying (in vain) to get out of her confinement. We keep everything she needs in there and still give her attention as our night cat…honestly, I think her intent is to rule the WORLD!

Submitted by: Nancy

Name: Whiskers
Location: Cincinnati, OH

This picture was taken when I was an only cat. See how much happier and relaxed I am??

What makes Whiskers so mean?

Whiskers is a black and white cat. She is an 11 year old female.

Whiskers has been our only cat since she was a kitten, and she has always had a bad attitude. She only wants to be petted when she decides it is ok. You can pet her and she will bite you or scratch you if you don’t do it the way she wants you to. She is also unfriendly to strangers. Very unfriendly. Particularly feline strangers.

We're like....evil mirror twins, black and gold. Let's fight!

The younger yellow and white cat is also a female. She is new to the house and seems to be trying to get to know Whiskers. We haven’t decided on a name for the brown and white cat yet so for now we call her Kitty. Kitty is about 9 months old. Kitty is very sweet and likes to be petted. We think this is probably why Whiskers hates her.

Submitted by: Martin

Name: Wennie
Location: Southern PA

Oh, that's not healthy for you, slave...better let me take care of that for you. Nice of me!

What makes Wennie so mean?

I cry foul! My conniving, disloyal typing slave (I mean, my poor, misguided mistress) has expressed her intention of entering me for the Meankitty Gallery! I’m not a Meankitty! I am a very Nice kitty!

I come when I’m called (sometimes). I let myself be picked up any which way. I help keep my mistress warm at night and I wake her up in the morning by knocking everything off the nightstand or emptying out her jewelry chest. Saves the trouble of having an alarm clock. I have even refrained from tearing the nostrils out of that stupid, interloping dog my typing slave insisted on bringing into the house last spring–I mean, I play ever so nicely with my canine brother!

This is my Nicekitty expression. I'm not at ALL thinking about chewing off the canine's ear.

So how could I be a Meankitty? That time I bit that lady from my mistress’s new job who came to the house with a check, I was just letting her know the check had better not bounce! And the time I scratched my mistress under the eye and turned it all black and blue? It was for her own good. She wouldn’t put me down so I could defend her against the evil kitties across the street! And the time I grabbed the pet sitter’s hand in my claws and bit her so hard she had to go to the emergency room? I was just putting her on notice that she’d better leave my mistress’s things alone while she was gone!

I do so much for that stupid, ungrateful typing slave– I mean, my beloved mistress! How could she say I’m a Meankitty? I’m a Nicekitty, do you hear, a Nicekitty!!

Prithee hearken! Do I spy a stray! Let me just climb this tree and jump out onto your head and chase that nasty flea-bitten thing off our property, wot wot?

And I’ll scratch the eyes out of anyone who says otherwise!!!

Submitted by: Kathy (Wennie herself never submits)