Meankitty.com

Name: Wally Moto
Location: Texas

This is me at 3 days, after clawing through the siding. Man, that was hard work.

What makes Wally so mean?

My name is Wally Moto and I am the meanest kitty in the State/Republic of Texas. When I was two days old my Biological Mom dropped me between the walls of my Dad’s shop (something about my constant whining). I meowed for a day and a half until my dad heard me and removed the siding from the outside of the building. Yeah, that siding and insulation would have been history if I’d stayed in there any longer. He dubbed me Wally and mom added the Moto because she said I looked Siamese.

He SHOULD have pulled me out sooner–I’ve been retaliating ever since. My favorite target is my slave Mom. I let her know in no uncertain terms where she may go in the house and yard. She sure looks silly with all those band-aids on her legs and arms. If Dad catches me, he makes me leave Mom alone. I usually just freeze on her leg and hope he won’t notice me.

This is me laughing at Mom running from the possibly rabid chipmunk I loosed in her vicinity.

I demand daily treats and yowl constantly (when I’m not hissing). I take daily inventory of the house, garage, and yard to see if anything has changed. When I’m patrolling Dad calls me the “Little General”. I love to shower daily affection on my dad. He rules! I let my Mom hold me for a few minutes each morning–I HAVE to do this because she buys my food, feeds me, opens the door when I want in or out, de-fleas me, takes me to the vet, pays my vet bills and defends me when Dad says I’m worthless. So I figure I can tolerate fifteen minutes a week from her. Besides, she trainable.

I enjoy killing birds, mice/rats, and lizards. I leave them on the back step so Dad can see them and Mom can dispose of them. I attack dogs if they come in the front yard, cats if they even look in my yard, and the mailman and I have had a few rounds. At just under twenty pounds, it’s my way or blood will be let. Go ahead and squirt me with the water hose–I love water.

This is me about to pounce Mom's face. That camera is NO protection!

Mom wrote this ballad for me when she realized my biological Mom dropped me down the wall on purpose. If you hum “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in your head, you’ll be able to sing the ballad.

The Ballad of Wally Moto

My name is Wally Moto and I’m a little cat!
My mama she was Siamese and my daddy he was black.
I am an evil kitty,
I have been since my spawn.
My mama didn’t want me so she dropped me down the wall!
But I don’t look back,
I’m a cat.
I like to claw and I like to scratch.
I don’t look back,
I’m just a cat.
I like to paw and I like to claw.

Photo submitted by: Wally’s humans

Name: Waldo
Location: His Department

Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!

What makes Waldo so mean?

Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

Name: Woody
Location: North Carolina

I am the MAKER of house rules. You got a problem wit' dat?

What makes Woody so mean?

This is Woody, who is not so much mean as he is the most annoying cat on the face of the earth.

I'm not drinking...I'm spitting catbutt germs, hehehe.

His habits include drinking V8 juice out of MY glass, knocking everything off the bedside table when he thinks it time to get up – including the clock and lamp, and jiggling the toilet handle while I’m in the shower. He will learn to flush and scald me one of these days.

That was tasssssssssty. Thanks for leaving it unmonitored!

He has also made a house rule that all pens and pencils are to be on the floor at all times. Need a pen? Look down.

Submitted by: Barbara

Name: Wilma
Location: Unknown

It is NOT time for my close-up, so bug off!

What makes Wilma so mean?

Wilma doesn’t like to be interrupted when she’s sunbathing, not even by admiring fans like myself who just want a quick photo and an autograph. She’ll give me an autograph, all right…with her claw!

Submitted by: J. Miller

Name: Willow
Location: UK

I also whine when I draw blood from houseguests. Makes for an interesting contrast.

What makes Willow so mean?

Say hello (from a distance) to Willow aka Willow Fatbelly or Willowmeister. One day, I wandered into a pet shop and saw this tiny little kitten, all meek and stripey and cute, and decided upon her immediately. I should have taken heed of the shop owner who told me she’s never stopped miaowing all day.

“Piffle” I thought. Until I got her out of the shop….

That was 11 years ago and she hasn’t shut up since! She whines for food, for comfort, if there’s a draught, if it’s too hot, if someone looks at her the wrong way. She sulks when we go on holiday and by accounts of the people who come to feed her, she lays on the bed, festering, only moving downstairs for food.

Caretakers have been known to resort to using a long stick to pry her feeding bowl away from her reach – go any closer than that and human blood and flesh is a certainty.

Unsuspecting house-guests have commented on her lovely markings and gone to stroke her. Too late; they don’t see the change of look in her eye and they are just yet another statistic of The Willowmeister!

Submitted by: Allie

Name: Willow
Location: Unknown

I'm BORN TO BE WILD, baby. Not to mention BAD TO THE BONE. A regular IRONMAN.

What makes Willow so mean?

Willow hates absolutely everything except food, water, sleep, and causing pain. He is disinterested in all things calm and relaxing. Lately, he only stops by the apartment to eat. If not here, he’s in the woods adjacent to our apartment complex terrorizing the other cats and viciously murdering the field mice there. His dominion is this small patch of woods.

The other cats run when they see him. He is their tyrant. Their dictator of the deciduous home away from home. The savage hammer-pawed assassin of the night. His favorite spot to rest after a busy night’s bloody romp in the woods? The bathroom sink, where he cleanses himself of his sins so he can commit them again 12 hours later. If he had his way, you wouldn’t be around reading this.

Submitted by: Matt

Name: Willow
Location: NL

Come on, gimme the booklet...I gotta use the bathroom, anyway.

What makes Willow so mean?

This is a photo of our cat Willow. Willow doesn’t like people who deliver commercial booklets or sponsored newspapers. He guards our door from those evil paper enemies. If the delivery guy doesn’t get the meaning of the ‘NEE/NEE sticker’ he’ll explain it to him. Beware…

Submitted by: Irene

Name: Willa
Location: Unknown

It's MY bed! Sheesh! She tries to steal it from me.

What makes Willa so mean?

This is the lovely Willa. She looks really sweet, but it’s all a sham. She acts all cute and rolls over on her belly and you can’t resist, you have to rub her tummy and WAMMO! She bites off a finger! Sometimes she even pretends she likes the petting at first; that’s what makes it an especially nasty trick.

And forget about her having any friends. She don’t need ‘em. If she doesn’t know you, (basically, if you happen to not be me) she’ll hiss at you, growl at you and there’s a good chance she’ll bite you too. She likes to inflict pain on others, especially if it draws blood.

She is also one of those pillow stealing kitties. I wake up in the middle of the night to discover she’s stolen my pillow and is hogging most of the bed, purring the whole time. No matter how many times I push her off, she keeps coming back, keeps stealing my pillow and hogging the bed in that passive aggressive kind of way. I end up not sleeping very well. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention her evil trick of hiding under the bed at bedtime and then BAM! She leaps out and bites your toes! Ahhhhh!

Submitted by: Katherine

Name: Widget
Location: Freeport, IL

And I could rule the world, too, if it weren't for you meddling humans.

What makes Widget so mean?

Widget looks pretty and has very soft fur. Don’t let it deceive you. She is an extremely territorial witch to my 2 other kitties. She has never adjusted to life with other cats after her life as a stray. She mercilessly pursues them into hiding places to instigate. One cat screams upon seeing her, and another lies down and curls herself into a ball, knowing she can’t beat Widget’s mean butt.

Widget isn’t just being defensive, but OFFENSIVE as she growls, hisses, jumps on them and proceeds to try and shred their skin. My other cats have become terrified of her. I see them creeping around furniture, fearful of her ambushing them. Our eldest cat, Princess, has become so afraid she will growl and hiss at anything that comes near her after a confrontation with Widget.

Widget is such a nasty housemate to the others that we have had to do a “kitty exchange” and keep her in a bedroom 12 hours a day, while our other cats roam free, and let her out alone to be the night cat, while they stay separated.

Widget has totally massacred our carpet at the bedroom doors because she is trying (in vain) to get out of her confinement. We keep everything she needs in there and still give her attention as our night cat…honestly, I think her intent is to rule the WORLD!

Submitted by: Nancy

Name: Whiskers
Location: Cincinnati, OH

This picture was taken when I was an only cat. See how much happier and relaxed I am??

What makes Whiskers so mean?

Whiskers is a black and white cat. She is an 11 year old female.

Whiskers has been our only cat since she was a kitten, and she has always had a bad attitude. She only wants to be petted when she decides it is ok. You can pet her and she will bite you or scratch you if you don’t do it the way she wants you to. She is also unfriendly to strangers. Very unfriendly. Particularly feline strangers.

We're like....evil mirror twins, black and gold. Let's fight!

The younger yellow and white cat is also a female. She is new to the house and seems to be trying to get to know Whiskers. We haven’t decided on a name for the brown and white cat yet so for now we call her Kitty. Kitty is about 9 months old. Kitty is very sweet and likes to be petted. We think this is probably why Whiskers hates her.

Submitted by: Martin