Posts Tagged ‘training’

Advice: How To Be So Mean

Sunday, August 10th, 2014

Dear Meankitty,

I have been reading all your advice and I think you are one pretty special kitten. I wish my humans were as well trained as yours. I really admire you! How do you do it?

Signed,
Tom

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Dear Tom,

Tip #21 on training your human: mean mostly, sweet sometimes and never let them see you plot. Work that one a little harder and soon you’ll be eating tuna right out of their hands.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Training Tips

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I have a 16 1/2 year old female cat that meows in the middle of the night for no reason. When I get up to check on her she is sitting on the mat in the kitchen or bathroom meowing. I think what she wants is a little food. What to do?

Sincerely,
Sleepy Human

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Dear Sleepy,

Repeat after me. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. She has you trained relatively well but not well enough. However, since you have recited the solemn human servant vow in the original kitty-latin to become a slave to cats, now you must obey. Leave a dish of cat chow out for your poor starving gramma kitty every night and maybe she’ll ease up on you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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