Meankitty.com

Name: Flash
Location: Memphis, TN

This is what a promise of murder looks like. Now you die!

What makes Flash so mean?

This is Flash. He hates cameras. When he sees them, he starts hissing and his evil yellow eyes promise murder. For some reason, he became even meaner after my dad started calling him “Giloolly” after Tonya Harding’s husband. He has shown a marked tendency to inflict violence upon small children. He even reared up on his hind legs one Thanksgiving and boxed my 4 year old niece’s ears, scratching her badly and necessitating a trip to the ER.

Photo submitted by: Steve

Name: Tiger (3)
Location: Unknown

Look! I'm laying in my catpan! I mean, on the carpet...

What makes Tiger so mean?

Ahhh, Tiger. He has ALWAYS been a Meankitty. Even when he was 2 weeks old, he gave my Grandma a large wound on her arm, my mom a series of nasty bites, and a scar on the side of my stomach. He was all teeth and claws but the size of a coconut.

He has a nasty habit of sleeping on people’s faces, ramming doors open and meowing like an air raid siren at 3am. This might seem cute for some kitties, but when your cat is thirty pounds of evil fury…eek!

Tiger only eats a certain type of cat food. And popcorn. Leave a bowl unattended, and it’ll be gone. When my dog was still with us, the cat would get him to help knock food off the counter, the most memorable being the turkey for Thanksgiving. He drinks from the fish bowls, too.

He also pees on the carpet occasionally, for no reason. Right in front of my mom, sometimes! No kidney issues, nothing. We had to replace an entire floor in a room because of all the damage he caused.

Do I look like an air raid siren to you?

Does he like getting petted? Indeed. But when he’s had enough, he’ll let you know by tearing open your arm. I’d know. I’ve got scars. The worst part is, he does it with his teeth alone or just his back claws. OUCH. Nasty, violent kitty.

Sometimes, it isn’t even provoked. He’ll be walking by my mother doing the laundry and suddenly take a chunk out of her calf.

A thief, a vandal, an attacker…he actually responds to ‘Lucifer.’ He’s a devil kitty. Or as my mom says: “The Diablo Tabby.”

Photo submitted by: Aubrey R.

Name: Merfyn
Location: Palm Harbor, FL

Scratch my chin, ooooh yeah, that's how I like it.

What makes Merfyn so mean?

Merfyn was a wee stray who hung around our house during a very cold Thanksgiving 2 years ago. He looked so like Misty, one of our four neutered cats, that we mistook him for her – except he was missing a tail. We fed and watered the obviously starving cat, then, as he was clearly male, decided to take him to an animal shelter. When Bob picked him up he screamed and thrashed so much that Bob had to have a tetanus shot. So, of course, we kept him. He has oversized ears, eyes of different sizes, a habit of telescoping his torso to 2/3rds its size and/or lifting one paw and tilting his head when he wants something, and a heart-stopping yawl when he can’t locate us for 10 seconds. He was appraised on-line as (possibly) a Japanese Bobtail by an expert at the CFA, which explains a lot.

Giving people tetanus is hard work. Must nap.

He cost us $500+ in initial vet bills then took over the house, terrorizing us & our other cats. He’d wait next to the cat flap from the house to the laundry room, where the cats eat, ready to pounce on an unsuspecting feline coming through. (We have to leave it open to give them a sporting chance.) He’ll literally bite our ankles or chew toes if the food service isn’t speedy enough. He uses our beautiful Mexican pine armoire as his personal scratching post. If we leave him in the care of others when we’re away, he’ll leave us half a rodent on the new carpet as a welcome home present.

Photo submitted by: Julia and Bob

Name: Gilbert
Location: Provo, UT

What's eating my eyeball? I mean, my grape? Eyeballs are rather tasty, as I've discovered....

What makes Gilbert so mean?

I have a seriously mean kitty! Gilbert adopted us from the humane society the day before Thanksgiving last year. I say adopted up because we walked by his cage and he yowled, stuck his paw out of the bars and snagged my husband’s coat. It seemed cute at the time; in retrospect this might have been a warning.

We got him home and all was well for a few days. At this point Gilbert decided he had made a good first impression and dropped the cutekitty charade. As my husband played with him on the floor one uneventful Sunday morning Gilbert went from playful to psycho in .2 seconds and hooked his claw into my husband’s EYEBALL! As my husband’s eyeball was bleeding with the outer layer severed, we dashed to the emergency room. {Meankitty wants to know: how could he see to dash?] We waited for four hours and were charged close to $500 dollars. When we returned, Gilbert showed no sign of remorse and instead yowled at us for not refilling his food bowl before leaving. We refilled the foodbowl, looked at each other, and admitted defeat. But I now realize that we are not alone in being owned by meankitties.

Meankitty’s second note: we omitted the photos of the bloody eyeball.

Photo submitted by: Cyndi

Name: Smackey
Location: Unknown

I learned the stairs trick at a recent SOHC refresher course!

What makes Smackey so mean?

Smackey is a meankitty because, although she is pretty small, she is tough. When we had guests over on Thanksgiving, we let their dog come in. This dog loves cats, so when she went over to meet the cat, Smackey ran up and attacked the poor dog. The dog (large black lab) walked away with her tail between her legs. Poor thing!

Smackey is really heavy on her feet. When she walks around she sounds like a herd of elephants parading around the house at 3 AM. And if she is not walking/tromping around the house, she is sitting on one of the steps leading to the upstairs of the house… she does not move and the staircase is rather steep, so we have all tripped over her at one time or another, which is quite dangerous.

Photo submitted by: Sarah