Posts Tagged ‘T’
Wednesday, August 6th, 2014
I've got two colored eyes to match my two sides: mean... and evil!
What makes Tazmania so mean?
Meet Taz(maniac). He decided to come live with us, take over our lives and destroy our home when he was only 7 weeks. I am convinced he is schizzo – if he is picked up and loved he will hug and kiss you back, purring madly. Back on the ground, you are barely allowed one stroke before he is on you with all four feet, claws fully extended + a mouth full of teeth. He is afraid of NOTHING, but he does dislike bum baths in the extreme.
To name the best example of his fearlessness, I can run a vacuum cleaner up and down his body and he just lies there; he will even give it a slap when I take it away! This has made deterring him from using our Persian rug as a scratching base harder, since a spray from the water bottle only stops him at the time. Almost immediately he will come back again and rip up the rug.
Uh-oh...you look like you want to give me a bum bath!
Taz is also harness-trained and loves walks and car rides. He is put out at the moment because it is 50 degrees centigrade + in Dubai at the moment so walks are out of the question and he is stuck in the apartment — reduced to chattering his teeth at the local pigeons (I put bread out to attract them for him).
He follows me around the house all day but his real adoration is reserved for my husband. (Little b@$t@rd! Who feeds you, hey?)
Photo submitted by: Nicole
Tuesday, July 29th, 2014
Actually I quit peeing on the rugs, walls and radiators when those jerks were no longer around to blame it on.
What makes T so mean?
T doesn’t pee on the rugs, walls, radiators and, occasionally, me – that was the two boys who now live outside. She doesn’t lurk in the closet to leap out on the other cat and any misplaced humans who might want to go from their bedroom to the bathroom. Instead, she howls at night from the top of the stairs hoping we’ll encourage her to run past the closet door in which the *other* cat (my partner’s) might be lurking.
She doesn’t drink from our water glasses, nor does she attack human toes – see “cat, other” above
She does flinch and run when my partner tries to pick her up, which happens eleventy times a day because my partner forgets T is not to be picked up – and also bounces down the stairs, jumps around and is generally scary. [Meankitty's note: I am unsure if Cheryl is referencing T or her partner with the stair bouncing and general scariness. Probably T but it's more amusing to think it's her partner.] T isn’t being mean; we suspect she has an abuse history before she adopted me.
T’s primary claim to meankittiness is this: she has learned the one paw from the official mean kitty. And she uses it … continuously … when we’re in bed … sleeping … or otherwise occupied.
Photo submitted by: Cheryl
Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
There's nothing like the smell of fresh napalm in the morning. Except maybe a field of burning catnip.
What makes Tango so mean?
I am writing this letter as Tango (my cat who is brother to satan) would love to be on your website. Tango is 5 years old and throughout those 5 years it has felt like I have lived in hell! He has a whole grave yard to his name, he has killed that many animals. I’ve had rats, many birds and even my next door neighbour’s pet. He doesn’t back down at animals his own size; he has attacked me a countless amount of times. The worst was one night when I shut him in the bathroom by accident. When I finally came to his rescue, he sprang out at me, scratching my face numerous times and leaving numerous scars.
Photo submitted by: Matt
Sunday, January 19th, 2014
Go Tango! Go Tango! Beat the dog up! Go Tango!
What makes Tango so mean?
I am sending this e-mail to see if you will put my evil cat Tango on your website. I’m sure you agree for the picture he is a very mean kitty. Tango is 5 years old and has done many evil deeds. Once he ripped off the skin off one of my toes, he has killed thousands of moles, chipmunks, birds, and so on. As you can see in the picture he is attacking my dog Bruno. Bruno is the most docile dog you will meet, and then Tango will attack him anyway. Tango has ripped Bruno’s ear off and bit the end of his tail off. Sometimes I feel this cat doesn’t come from this planet.
Photo submitted by: Matthew
Sunday, January 12th, 2014
Name: Tommie Cranks
Who are you callin' Siamese? Sheesh, do I look like a crook tailed, masked, hypochondriac whiner to you?
What makes Tommie so mean?
While Tommie has his loving moments, he more often has mean ones. He attacks, bites and goes into kitty hissy fits when he doesn’t get his way. At 6 months old, he weighed in at 12 lbs with big shovel like paws, thick legs and a big bush of a tail. We think it may belong to a fox, which makes me wonder who his mother was messing with when he was conceived. Besides that, Tommie seems to have both Maine Coon and Siamese characteristics. The vet says he is a big boy and he will be a “bigger boy” when he grows up. His best friends in the world is a neurotic toy poodle named Charlie and a small stuffed, haggard hippopotamus named Auggie the Hippo. His favorite foods besides human flesh are broccoli, baked beans, oatmeal, celery, stringbeans, corn and nuts.
Photo submitted by: Eta
Meankitty’s Note: This is our third choice for the author of the Tom Letters. Which one do you think it is?
Friday, August 30th, 2013
I’m not a tangerine dream…I’m a tangerine nightmare!
What makes Tangerine so mean?
Our cat Tangerine takes pissed-off to the root of the term. When she wants something, she wants it now, and she wants it her way. I bought a rustic carved wood bowl and put it on the table as she watched. She must have been thinking the whole time, “Humm, let’s see what I can do to that bowl!” The next morning she wanted outside at about 5AM, but I wouldn’t let her out. When I left the room and she peed in my new bowl.
One time my husband was playing with her too rough on our bed she ran off. He left the room and she came back in and carefully peed on his side of the bed. She does many things that we swear she thought out. [[Meankitty's note: she totally does think it out.]] Even so, we wouldn’t trade her for the world.
Photo submitted by: Sherri
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
Name: Tinky Bum
Your bum would stink, too, if you had to digest *burrp!* human flesh, wires, wood…
What makes Tinky Bum so mean?
Meet Tinky Bum. He is a mean kitty. When he isn’t trying to nibble on a piece of human flesh like a bare toe, foot or hand, he chews on wires, metal and plastic parts. His favorite is wood. He even eats those chewy bone treats you give to dogs.
The worst part is we have to wash his bum every day because it stinks!
Photo submitted by: Eta
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Name: Tuxedo Max
I know I'm a lightweight when it comes to SOHC qualifications, but I'm a heavyweight in mah belly!
What makes T-Max so mean?
Tuxedo Max (AKA TuxTux KittyKitty) may not LOOK mean (or even act mean) but he IS! In his high and mighty snuggliness, he endeavors to suffocate me at least once a day. The attack is usually preceded by the tried and true “Look at my cute belly!” maneuver. Once I succumb to the charm of that flashy white belly (which is huge, by the way, he’s a 20 pounder), and pick him up, he proceeds to headbutt me and block my breathing passages with his massive, longhaired sides. Also when he is in full purring smother attack, he has been known to ever so slowly get his face close to that sensitive part of my inner arm and CHOMP! He bites down with those long and pointy teeth. The only way to stave off these attacks of smothering is to fill his food dish heaping full, immediately. Or offer him catnip, in which case, he is reduced to a puddle of drooling mush. I’m sure that’s just a ploy, to get me to offer him more munchy snacks.
Photo submitted by: Elisa
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Hm, are there any voles in here?
What makes Tess so mean?
I got Tess for Christmas in ’01. My husband saved her life also (see Trooper for other cat saved). He bought her at a (ugh!) pet store. She had pneumonia; the vet said she would have been dead in a few days if we hadn’t gotten her. All her whiskers had fallen off due to her long fever.
Now healthy and grown, she walks right up to our German Shepherd and attacks her face, a full kitty hug. Whenever I strip the bed, she has to jump right in the middle and is so stubborn I’ve often had to make the bed around her. For some reason she won’t drink water out of her bowl…she waits until we get out of the shower and jumps in to drink out of the drain, or demands that we cup our hands and give it to her right then. She is so smart she opens every door in the house, but she is never content to just crack them. She insists on pushing them till they are open ALL the way.
A closed door is a potential party hidden away from me. Can’t have that!
Our other cat is an outdoor cat and one day on our walk, he brought her a still living vole to “play with.” She grabbed it and proceeded to carry it around, growling like a tiger, even though it kept biting her so she would drop it. It would stagger a few feet and then she would pounce again. She hides on the window sill and if you move she will attack you through the blinds. We have to be careful walking by a window with the blinds closed…you never know if a cat claw will come shooting out at you.
Submitted by: Stephanie
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Hey, female…can’t you see it’s boy’s night in? You women get lost.
What makes Trooper so mean?
When I got married I only had Trooper. He hated my husband and ended up biting him. There were some rough times in the house while my hubby recovered from the blood poisoning (to this day he swears Trooper has some kind of kitty venom). After a while, Trooper somehow broke his leg on night out carousing, and I think he realized that Baron (husband) saved his hide by taking him to the vet and getting him fixed up.
During his recovery he was house bound for 4 months, and they bonded. Trooper has totally abandoned me for the “other man” of the house. He walks right up to the girl cat Tess, kisses her a couple of times, and then bites her on the neck! [Trooper's note: I'm just copying what Baron does...] If he sees that she is under a blanket he will walk over and sit on her while pretending that he never knew she was there.
Submitted by: Stephanie