Posts Tagged ‘T’
Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
There's nothing like the smell of fresh napalm in the morning. Except maybe a field of burning catnip.
What makes Tango so mean?
I am writing this letter as Tango (my cat who is brother to satan) would love to be on your website. Tango is 5 years old and throughout those 5 years it has felt like I have lived in hell! He has a whole grave yard to his name, he has killed that many animals. I’ve had rats, many birds and even my next door neighbour’s pet. He doesn’t back down at animals his own size; he has attacked me a countless amount of times. The worst was one night when I shut him in the bathroom by accident. When I finally came to his rescue, he sprang out at me, scratching my face numerous times and leaving numerous scars.
Photo submitted by: Matt
Sunday, January 19th, 2014
Go Tango! Go Tango! Beat the dog up! Go Tango!
What makes Tango so mean?
I am sending this e-mail to see if you will put my evil cat Tango on your website. I’m sure you agree for the picture he is a very mean kitty. Tango is 5 years old and has done many evil deeds. Once he ripped off the skin off one of my toes, he has killed thousands of moles, chipmunks, birds, and so on. As you can see in the picture he is attacking my dog Bruno. Bruno is the most docile dog you will meet, and then Tango will attack him anyway. Tango has ripped Bruno’s ear off and bit the end of his tail off. Sometimes I feel this cat doesn’t come from this planet.
Photo submitted by: Matthew
Sunday, January 12th, 2014
Name: Tommie Cranks
Who are you callin' Siamese? Sheesh, do I look like a crook tailed, masked, hypochondriac whiner to you?
What makes Tommie so mean?
While Tommie has his loving moments, he more often has mean ones. He attacks, bites and goes into kitty hissy fits when he doesn’t get his way. At 6 months old, he weighed in at 12 lbs with big shovel like paws, thick legs and a big bush of a tail. We think it may belong to a fox, which makes me wonder who his mother was messing with when he was conceived. Besides that, Tommie seems to have both Maine Coon and Siamese characteristics. The vet says he is a big boy and he will be a “bigger boy” when he grows up. His best friends in the world is a neurotic toy poodle named Charlie and a small stuffed, haggard hippopotamus named Auggie the Hippo. His favorite foods besides human flesh are broccoli, baked beans, oatmeal, celery, stringbeans, corn and nuts.
Photo submitted by: Eta
Meankitty’s Note: This is our third choice for the author of the Tom Letters. Which one do you think it is?
Friday, August 30th, 2013
I’m not a tangerine dream…I’m a tangerine nightmare!
What makes Tangerine so mean?
Our cat Tangerine takes pissed-off to the root of the term. When she wants something, she wants it now, and she wants it her way. I bought a rustic carved wood bowl and put it on the table as she watched. She must have been thinking the whole time, “Humm, let’s see what I can do to that bowl!” The next morning she wanted outside at about 5AM, but I wouldn’t let her out. When I left the room and she peed in my new bowl.
One time my husband was playing with her too rough on our bed she ran off. He left the room and she came back in and carefully peed on his side of the bed. She does many things that we swear she thought out. [[Meankitty's note: she totally does think it out.]] Even so, we wouldn’t trade her for the world.
Photo submitted by: Sherri
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
Name: Tinky Bum
Your bum would stink, too, if you had to digest *burrp!* human flesh, wires, wood…
What makes Tinky Bum so mean?
Meet Tinky Bum. He is a mean kitty. When he isn’t trying to nibble on a piece of human flesh like a bare toe, foot or hand, he chews on wires, metal and plastic parts. His favorite is wood. He even eats those chewy bone treats you give to dogs.
The worst part is we have to wash his bum every day because it stinks!
Photo submitted by: Eta
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Name: Tuxedo Max
I know I'm a lightweight when it comes to SOHC qualifications, but I'm a heavyweight in mah belly!
What makes T-Max so mean?
Tuxedo Max (AKA TuxTux KittyKitty) may not LOOK mean (or even act mean) but he IS! In his high and mighty snuggliness, he endeavors to suffocate me at least once a day. The attack is usually preceded by the tried and true “Look at my cute belly!” maneuver. Once I succumb to the charm of that flashy white belly (which is huge, by the way, he’s a 20 pounder), and pick him up, he proceeds to headbutt me and block my breathing passages with his massive, longhaired sides. Also when he is in full purring smother attack, he has been known to ever so slowly get his face close to that sensitive part of my inner arm and CHOMP! He bites down with those long and pointy teeth. The only way to stave off these attacks of smothering is to fill his food dish heaping full, immediately. Or offer him catnip, in which case, he is reduced to a puddle of drooling mush. I’m sure that’s just a ploy, to get me to offer him more munchy snacks.
Photo submitted by: Elisa
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Hm, are there any voles in here?
What makes Tess so mean?
I got Tess for Christmas in ’01. My husband saved her life also (see Trooper for other cat saved). He bought her at a (ugh!) pet store. She had pneumonia; the vet said she would have been dead in a few days if we hadn’t gotten her. All her whiskers had fallen off due to her long fever.
Now healthy and grown, she walks right up to our German Shepherd and attacks her face, a full kitty hug. Whenever I strip the bed, she has to jump right in the middle and is so stubborn I’ve often had to make the bed around her. For some reason she won’t drink water out of her bowl…she waits until we get out of the shower and jumps in to drink out of the drain, or demands that we cup our hands and give it to her right then. She is so smart she opens every door in the house, but she is never content to just crack them. She insists on pushing them till they are open ALL the way.
A closed door is a potential party hidden away from me. Can’t have that!
Our other cat is an outdoor cat and one day on our walk, he brought her a still living vole to “play with.” She grabbed it and proceeded to carry it around, growling like a tiger, even though it kept biting her so she would drop it. It would stagger a few feet and then she would pounce again. She hides on the window sill and if you move she will attack you through the blinds. We have to be careful walking by a window with the blinds closed…you never know if a cat claw will come shooting out at you.
Submitted by: Stephanie
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Hey, female…can’t you see it’s boy’s night in? You women get lost.
What makes Trooper so mean?
When I got married I only had Trooper. He hated my husband and ended up biting him. There were some rough times in the house while my hubby recovered from the blood poisoning (to this day he swears Trooper has some kind of kitty venom). After a while, Trooper somehow broke his leg on night out carousing, and I think he realized that Baron (husband) saved his hide by taking him to the vet and getting him fixed up.
During his recovery he was house bound for 4 months, and they bonded. Trooper has totally abandoned me for the “other man” of the house. He walks right up to the girl cat Tess, kisses her a couple of times, and then bites her on the neck! [Trooper's note: I'm just copying what Baron does...] If he sees that she is under a blanket he will walk over and sit on her while pretending that he never knew she was there.
Submitted by: Stephanie
Sunday, April 28th, 2013
Location: Oak Park, IL
Better not let THIS cat outta the bag! I’ll go psycho mode on your butt!
What makes Trotsky so mean?
Trotsky deceived us from the beginning when we picked him up at the Anti-Cruelty Society. He was both skinny and lovable and we thought he’d be the perfect companion to our 9 month old kitten at home. Unfortunately he was anything but. I’ll never forget the look our other cat Faust gave me when we opened the cat carrier and Trotsky stepped out. Faust sat at the back of the long hallway and looked directly in my eye as if to say: “How could you.”
Trotsky began his stay with us calmly enough, spending the first few days in a bathroom cupboard, but after a while he settled in and took over. We lived on the top floor of a three-flat in Chicago with my brother and his wife whom Trotsky developed a special hatred for. He would sit on the second floor landing and wait for her to come home, refusing to move as she and her 90 pound Golden Retriever would come up the stairs. Trotsky would rear up and snort if they tried to get too close, and she would have to scream for me to get him, which I would do, holding him gingerly at arm’s length while he hissed and flailed away.
When we bought our own house Trotsky would take special glee in terrorizing neighborhood cats. He would lie on our front porch in the early evening and just wait. If a cat was foolish enough to investigate our house, Trotsky would start a low guttural howl to warn the foolish intruder after it passed some imaginary line in our yard. If the errant cat continued to approach then Trotsky would begin to lather himself into psycho mode. If this first-time visitor (there were no second-time feline guests) continued his advance, Trotsky would lunge and the two would transform into a screaming, hissing ball that would roll and bounce across the front yard. The noise would bring me running with a broom that I kept near the front door for just such occasions which I would use to pry the two apart. I’d have to shove Trotsky back to our house with the broom, for I dared not pick him up. He’d sit in the living room breathing hard and snorting as he would slowly cool himself down, our other cats looking on in amazement from the relative safety of the hallway.
Alas Trotsky is no more, but his ashes sit on our windowsill as a reminder to our household to not get of line.
Submitted by: Mike B.
Saturday, April 27th, 2013
Name: Trotsky (2)
Location: Near a hospital
I wouldn’t have to fight so many other cats if they didn’t make fun of my ears!
What makes Trotsky so mean?
Trotsky could be one of the meanest Meankitties around. From the day he was allowed into the big bad world he was trouble. On average, once a week he would come home with scratches on his belly and bite marks on his neck. Every time he would have to be taken to the vet to have the abscesses lanced. He quickly developed an intense hatred of the vet and even now has to be sedated to unconsciousness before he can be taken out his carrier.
Trotsky had always been an anxious little guy and never very affectionate; being picked up is out of the question. His idea of fun is to attack any part of your body he can reach, so it’s not a good idea to get your face close. After 6 months of suffering constant trips to the vet, it was decided that Prozac might be a way of calming him down. Reluctantly I agreed and magically for 2 months it seemed to work, no fighting. But then it started again.
One day I heard his hissing and growling outside my apartment and thought I’d intervene before he needed another trip to the vet. Stupid mistake. As I pulled him off the other cat, he sunk his teeth into the back of my hands. Within 20 minutes both my hands had blown up like balloons. Within a week I was in hospital having surgery on my left hand to flush out puss from an infection that had taken hold around the knuckle of the index finger. That was the beginning of a very, very long 4 week stint in the hospital and the first of 4 operations on that hand. And Trotsky? He had to have another abscess lanced. To this day I have the constant reminder of the whole fiasco–my index finger is permanently crippled.
Interestingly, when I got home from the hospital at 4pm, by 5pm he was covered in blood, bites and scratches. He hadn’t been in a single fight while I was away. It was decided for his own safety and the safety of others he would, from now on, be an indoor cat.
You would think this would have solved everything, wouldn’t you?? Not so. Now he sprays everywhere around the apartment to show how much he misses the abscesses. I can’t tell you how many times I have been driven to tears of frustration by this but I love him and, well, no one else would!
Says Meankitty: PROPS TO ONE OF THE MOST COMMITTED SLAVES EVER! GOOD JOB! (May your next cat be a not so meankitty!)
Submitted by: Adriana