Meankitty.com

Name: Spooky (2)
Location: Denver, CO

I'm a miracle, all right. A miracle of MEAN!

What makes Spooky so mean?

Spooky is a mean kitty because from the moment I rescued him from the shelter, he has been a scratcher and a biter! Sometimes in play, but mostly not.

This is my Really Spooky Spooky face.

He still gets water bottle squirts all the time for his actions. He often reaches out and grabs/bites an ankle or bare foot (ouch!) for no apparent reason. He gets easily stirred up when I am just trying to be nice and pet him and give him what I call ‘Kitty Massage’, which he will let me do for about 2.5 minutes and the the teeth and claws come out and it is rough play time (again, ouch!)

I dare you to turn on the water and see how I punish you for it.

He refuses to use the scratching post but does use the cardboard floor scratchers with cat nip in them. The back of my old couch is all shredded. I spray a special spray there to discourage scratching, I put up double sided sticky tape, too, all to no avail. I just gave up.

He needs more play time than I have the energy for, as I have arthritis and chronic pain and part of his crankiness is that he is an ‘indoor only’ cat. There are mean humans who want to hurt black cats, plus there are dogs all around where we live who would chase him up a nearby tree in a heartbeat. There is also a big scary parking lot nearby.

Am I in the mood for a snack? I'm not too hungry. Not overstuffed though. Eh, I could eat! Toe time!

Spooky is about three years old, and is a ‘miracle kitty’. He had survived a broken pelvis after being hit by a car before I had gotten him from the shelter and had only been out of the isolation cage at the shelter for about a month before I got to adopt him. The kitty doctor says that he will probably have arthritis down there as he ages.

Are you talking to me? Because I'm not listening.

He has been a wonderful companion since the loss of my beloved 17 year old Miss Puss about two years ago. I really do love him a lot, and I think he loves me too, even though he is truly a MEAN KITTY at heart.

Photo submitted by: Steve

Names: Sterling & Silver
Location: Land of Bast

We've been practicing our tag team slams and headlocks. Wanna wrestle?

What makes Sterling and Silver so mean?

Years ago in the land of Bast, a human slave lost Beowulf, a cranky and reclusive Siamese mix. The girl human slave cried and cried, every day for a YEAR, a lifetime. The boy human slave begged her to find new mistresses (this is where the story gets good), so enter US, Silver Belle Beaute on the left and Sterling Versailles on the right – meankitty queens of all, and baby, it is GOOD to be queen!

The slaves took this picture of us when we first moved to our Perrydom kingdom from the Siamese Rescue at 4 months. Yes, we are gorgeous. Yes we are soft as the finest silk. Yes our eyes are bluer than bluebells (thanks Bast we didn’t get stuck w that name, right?). They thought us sweet and adorable, but we soon showed them whose boss, with our adorable, shy baby kitty aka meankitty ways.

Our preferred activity is Wrestle mania. One of us waits from a secret ledge atop the tallest couch, and we FLY through the air, to surprise land on each other like a SUMO wrestler, and then roll around and around and around in a blur of grey and white…oh, I’m dizzy, stop you little P*&)(*&^^$&%(^^(!

Back to Wrestle mania. Sometimes, when we grudgingly give the 2 slaves time for bleary eyed coffee, we circle each other, ears pinned back, posturing to show who is the biggest fluffiest bad ass of Perrydom, where we reside, and BAM! One of leaps on the other like a SUMO wrestler…wait, I told this part.

The other fun things we do, simple because we are meankitties: we love to dive bomb Sophie the black mix calico and Indigo, the British short hair. Chasing the other 3 up and down the stairs like a herd of elephants and back down. Sitting on our back legs like meerkat and boxing each other like a kangaroo.

We also like to dive bomb the slaves too, since they always squeak with such surprise and outrage. Particularly from the tall chest behind the bed, where we lurk until 2 am and then drop down on unsuspecting, sleeping slaves around 3 am. This never falls to highly entertain, since there is always much squawking, arm waving, gesturing and lights on, so then we can really play on the bed with them.

We enjoy seeing our domain from new heights, like last week when I got stuck on top of the kitchen cabinets and couldn’t get down – they are Himalaya high. Girl slave had to get a ladder to retrieve me, funny!

Also entertainment: treat time, when our Royalness gets soft squishy treats, oh my! Flying fish toy with the pole, though we have managed to mangle them into Hades and beyond. We are on the 5th one this year, so far. Anything with feathers, including Girl Slaves beautiful hat from Cat land of Ireland with feathers – now a mangled sopping heap when she went downstairs and left it upstairs alone – for our feast. I have never seen such hopping and arm waving as that day.

We’ll share more of the trials and travails of Perrydom when we have time to do so again, adieu for now, meankitty audience.

Photos submitted by: Starr and Mike Perry

Name: Sabrina aka Bad Kitty
Location: WA State

I earned my degree in Advanced Skin Shredding at the SOHC Institute for Meankitties.

What makes Sabrina so mean?

My human slave had to write this for me, since I don’t have opposable thumbs and my midnight typing forays do not always result in something that can be read. If we had opposable thumbs we could do away with humans and work the can opener by ourselves.

But I digress. I am Sabrina, aka “Bad Kitty”. I don’t know that I would say that I’m “mean”; I just rule my house with an iron paw. I might occasionally snuggle and purr, but that’s when I want attention. Refusal to do my bidding, playing with me incorrectly, or ignoring me will result in a severe shredding of the skin on your ankles as I leap out at you from the darkened recesses of the living room. NO HUMAN IS SAFE .

Photo submitted by: Lisa
http://www.wildcelticrose.net/badkitty/

Name: Sabrina
Location: NYC

What, me a kitten? I can do SO MUCH more damage.

What makes Sabrina so mean?

Sabrina is a mean little kitty. When she isn’t walking around the house giving dirty looks to people, she’s starting trouble somewhere. She loves to sit on the kitchen table when she knows she isn’t supposed to. The reason she does this, is to keep her eyes on the parakeets in the cage on top of the refrigerator.

When I’m sleeping, she enjoys attacking my feet. I wake up at all hours of the night with her claws in my ankles. Sometimes I wake up and she’s just sitting next to my head staring at me…..which I find a little odd.

Actually, Sabrina is still a kitten and I get a kick out of her playfulness. She’s worse than a child at times!

Photo submitted by: Rene Cina

Name: Steven Gustaf
Location: Syracuse, NY

I'm not in the mood to lure you in by being faux-cuddly. Get lost!

What makes Steven so mean?

My name is Steven and I am a mean kitty! My human found your site and immediately thought I should enter, since she is always telling me I am the meanest kitty ever. I am a year and a half old “buff” tiger cat that my mom rescued from some people who said I “played too rough” with their dog. Mom thought they were being silly and that the dog was wimpy, but then she got to know me and understood. My favorite things to do are, in no particular order:

-Beat up my sister kitties, including my 16 yr old sister who is so much fun to attack because she hates me SOOOO much!
-Beat up the stupid doggies, though they kind of like it. They are a lot bigger than me but I’m tougher and make them bleed a lot.
-Breaking all of mom’s stuff, like expensive jewelry and vases and curtains. I also like to knock pictures off the walls and hide mom’s favorite clothes under the bed.
-Biting and scratching people. All the time. Without warning. Especially when they think I’m in a good mood and being cuddly and cute. That’s just how I lure them in. I give myself extra points for scratching babies and the elderly.
-Eating everything I can, whether it’s edible or not. Mom doesn’t understand that all the food is mine, and her lack of understanding often gets her scratched and bitten.
-Other miscellaneous activities like tipping over the dog’s water dish, unraveling the toilet paper, stealing the bathtub drain cover, yowling loudly at all hours of the day and night, etc.

This is how I punish the dogs for being dogs. I punish humans and cats for other reasons.

My mom says that I’ll be a nice kitty eventually, once I’m all grown up, but I don’t think she should get her hopes up, since being mean is too much fun!

Submitted by: Rachel

Name: Spike
Location: Smyrna, GA. Also, the Buffyverse.

Spike as a youngster just developing his taste for blood.

What makes Spike so mean?

My name is Spike, the Vampire Kitty, frequently called Monster. It is an appropriate nick-name, so do not think that I am offended in any way. My human workers rescued me and my brother Spot from the shelter. I easily put them under my spell and have them wrapped around my tail. HA HA!

But let me get back to explaining my mean kitty ways. As a young vampire I would claw and bite my humans any chance I could get. I love the taste of blood and so I would bite them hard! As I got older I started to show them my other talents. I attack their fingers when they are sleeping–they are vulnerable then and I can really sink my teeth in to their soft fleshy digits. I now know, as an older kitty, that I must give some love and attention to truly hold them under my spell. Little do the foolish humans know, it is all a ploy! I do not speak unless they are taking too long with my wet food, and then I must scold them. I attack all food left unattended…well it really doesn’t have to be unattended, because I will take it right from under their noses.

Spike as an adult sleeping off a wild binge of running, jumping and bloodletting.

I love to tackle my housemates to establish my command. However, there are some other mean kitties that have been here longer than me and so there is competition amongst us. There are three in particular that have special mean kitty powers. Ipo is the King; he is a very large Maine Coon who has lived with the humans the longest. He allows me to train with him. I attack his head and pounce on his back. Kahlua has a wild streak in him that matches my own. He and I race through the house and over everyone and everything tackling each other like linebackers. Tissy is the evil little female cat. She will attack me for no reason. I have scratches on my head almost every day from Tissy and her mean little self, but I do have to say, that as one mean kitty to another, I secretly admire her spiteful ways.

Photo submitted by: Kiva

Name: Skittles
Location: Boston

Don't creep up behind me like that! It makes me feel paranoid.

What makes Skittles so mean?

This is Skittles, named as such because the moment we brought him home as a tiny kitten about seven years ago, he immediately ran to the couch, plopped onto his side, sunk his claws into the material and yanked himself along as though he were on a pulley. We called it “skittering.” (You thought he was named for the candy, huh?)

I'll give you five, all right...five sharp ones!

Skittles (a.k.a. Bubba and Sugar Butt) is a total Mama’s Boy and has to be where I am at all times. He sleeps with me, follows me from room to room, and throws a tantrum (by screaming at the top of his lungs, in his high-pitched baby-meow, non-stop) when he’s been shut out of a room into which I’ve gone. But Skittles isn’t all fat, blubbery love…oh, no. He’s a biter. I’m told (over and over again) that this is because I’ve spoiled him so much without discipline, but I know in my heart that, although his preternaturally large size speaks otherwise, Skittles still thinks he’s a kitten and doesn’t realize or understand that when he bites us playfully, it hurts!

Going in for the big biteowski...

My boyfriend, Steve (with whom Skittles is quite competitive for my attentions), is learning just who’s the Alpha-male around here. You’d think after all this time, my two boys would get along, but the sad truth of the matter is that Skittles doesn’t appreciate this extended intrusion of such an interloper in his life.

Photo submitted by: Heather

Name: Sir Oliver
Location: Unknown

WHAP! Teach you to touch my abcess.

What makes Sir Oliver so mean?

This is my cat, Sir Oliver. When he goes to the vet, he has to anesthetized to have anything (even vaccines) done to him. I work in a vet clinic; he’s by far one of the worst behaved cats I’ve ever seen. This picture is from when he was under house arrest b/c he had an abscess from a cat fight I was treating. He’s an outdoor cat and gets 3-5 abscesses a year from cat fights.

Photo submitted by: Miranda

Name: Screecher
Location: Stockton, CA

Feelin peckish. Think I'll have a little snack.

What makes Screecher so mean?

Here’s a meankitty for you. This is Screecher. This cat is a wild barn kitty from the tough town of Stockton, CA. Stockton is to California like the Bronx is to N.Y.

The fish wasn't enough...think I'll have a bigger snack.

Screecher has lots of pent-up anger. She tries to eat bicycle tires and anything you put in front of her. If you accidentally leave the food out, she’ll eat it all! She’ll drink your coffee if you’re not looking, eat your pantyhose and socks, and swipe at your every foot step!

Screecher’s nick-name is “Aqua Kitty” because she likes water…especially the shower and the bath tub!

Fact...or faked? Perhaps we need the SyFy channel to figure that out.

This cat even has a rap song written about her. (My name is Screecha…and I’m going to eatcha…)

Photo submitted by: Guy

Name: Soeren
Location: Scandinavia

Dress me in a stupid hat and take my picture, will you? You shall pay, human. You shall pay.

What makes Soeren so mean?

Soeren is a Scandinavian Zombie cat who bites on everyone and everything. On this picture he has just finished off Santa Claus (wearing his cap as evidence). What can we do about him?

Meankitty says: I think he would not be so mad if you didn’t put hats on him. Also, if you gave him his own can of sardines every day…that might help.

Submitted by: Bjorn and Therese