Posts Tagged ‘P’

Gallery: Paul

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Name: Paul
Location: Unknown

Paul is a meankitty

Oh big stupid dooo-oooog...I'm coming to get ya!

What makes Paul so mean?

My cat Paul is the meanest cat ever! He is only a few months old, but he got in a fight with one of our other kitties, named Christine, and clawed Christine’s eye! To this day, Christine still can’t open her eye properly. He also clawed a hole completely through our futon.

Last but not least, he chases our 140 lb dog named David. Poor David has to hide under the porch.

Photo submitted by: Mr. Puss

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Gallery: Peek-A-Boo

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

Name: Peek-A-Boo
Location: Waynesboro, PA

Peekaboo is an old meankitty

As soon as they think I'm going to use the toilet full time and get rid of the cat box... heh heh heh!

What makes Peek-A-Boo so mean?

This wonderful darling our 12 year old pride and joy, Peek-A-Boo. Peek-A-Boo is a…well, she’s an interesting cat. Her hobbies include the following: sleeping in a cardboard box by the window, hacking up giant piles of puke, chewing on toes, climbing on the kitchen counter to drink the nasty mixture of milk and water out of the bowls in the sink, knocking anything and everything out of her way and onto the floor, leaving chunks of fur all over the house, and every so often leaving us a HUGE stool sample on the front mat, oh and we can’t forget her wonderful of habit of drinking out of the toilet.

Speaking of toilets, Peek-A-Boo has recently given our family a wonderful surprise. My older sister Beth was getting ready for our Sunday morning service at church. As she was doing her hair, she heard running water. She thought she had turned the sink off after brushing her teeth, but she went and checked anyway. Well, when she got to the bathroom, she saw WAY more than running sink water. Apparently, our precious Peek-A-Boo has learned to use the potty in the human way!

Peek-A-Boo has also gotten into the entertaining habit of chasing her sister, Kitty Guess, all around the house. Poor Kitty Guess never wins.

Peek-A-Boo has been classified as sckitsophrenic, spaztic, and all around NUTS!

Photo submitted by: Mary D.

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Gallery: Pamplemousse

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Name: Pamplemousse
Location: Kansas

Pamplemousse the Meankitty

Come on, come on, pet me, I dare you!

What makes Pamp so mean?

Pamplemousse came in to our lives about October 2002, when my boyfriend’s co-worker moved and could no longer keep her. She was 11 weeks old. Of course we fell in love with her adorableness and indulged her little habits like chewing on our hands and biting/scratching us in play.

Now she is bigger and even more vicious when we play with her. You cannot put your hand near here without risking serious harm. She likes to chew and scratch on the furniture, bed, blankets etc. Her most recent torture involves playing in her litter box and leaping out of it, thus spraying the room with loose litter, and no matter how much we tell her not to, she seems to take particular delight in doing this as we get ready for work in the morning.

Photo submitted by: Meg

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Gallery: Poe

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

Name: Poe
Location: Unknown

Poe is a meankitty

Quoth the kitty, “Nevermore!”
Oh, and, “Die, vacuum, die!”

What makes Poe so mean?

Poe is one mean kitty! Well, actually she has social-phobia. I blame it on us. From the moment we saw her in the litter of nice kitties playing, she was sitting above them all by herself just staring with her glowing eyes. What a mean, anti-social kitty!

I have woken up several times during the night to her staring at me with her evil green eyes, waiting to pounce me. Not only does she have a social disorder, she is also bi-polar. She is sweet in the morning, and at night she runs back and forth meowing hysterically. She only pretends to be sweet so we will give her favorite ocean-explosion treats, and once she eats them she runs off and hides under the bed where we can’t touch her.

Between all of her disorders, I think this mean kitty needs some Zoloft! Too bad she is so cuddly.

Submitted by: Merin

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Gallery: Plain

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

Name: Plain
Location: Your Worst Nightmare

Plain is a meankitty

This is your face. This is your face after catnip. Any questions?

What makes Plain so mean?

This is Plain. He is mean and rude. If your head is under the covers, he will put his paws under there with his claws out and scratch you in the face or head. He also gets into any food that is left out.

He likes to be the only cat in the house. When other cats come in, he gets irritable and won’t even come by me, even when the others aren’t around.

Submitted by: Mike

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Gallery: Phoebe

Saturday, December 1st, 2012

Name: Phoebe
Location: Dagobah, maybe?

Phoebe is a meankitty

When 16 years equivalent in human years you are, look as good you will not.

What makes Phoebe so mean?

Phoebe is a very mean kitty. She is 16 years old and has the reputation of biting any creature who touches her, especially my 2 younger brothers and my other cat, Gidget.

Submitted by: Michael

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Gallery: Puddy Tat

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Name: Puddy Tat
Location: Fairbanks, AK

Puddy Tat is a meankitty

I may not like to eat catfood but I sure like regurgitating it!

What makes Puddytat so mean?

Once three years ago I came to live at the residence of one Evil Feline by the name of Puddytat. I was met at the top of the stairs by her Evil Highness. If I checked out, I was allowed entrance to HER HOME…if not, I would be confined to servant’s quarters.

I don’t have to tell you where I ended up.

When her highness rings the back door bell, I must anticipate her wishes. Either her kitty dish is empty or she wants out for an afternoon snack of shrew ears or noses (she does NOT eat cat food).

She sometimes watches from her throne, located on the back of HER human’s (Joann) couch. That’s why no birds or squirrels dare enter HER realm and live to tell about it.

Believe me I could say a lot more but then we’re looking at a novella.

Submitted by: Susan

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Gallery: Puddy

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Name: Puddy
Location: Australia

Puddy is a meankitty

I shall hide in a box until they forget I’m there and then tonight, after bedtime, the fun begins!

What makes Puddy so mean?

Puddy is not allowed to sleep inside at night because he wakes us up by biting our faces. He has permanently scarred the kids’ hands and emotionally scarred visiting children (3 no longer like cats).

The dog is frightened of him. All visitors are warned to be careful of him. All boxes are his home: he uses them as hiding spots to launch his attacks. Oh, and he dribbles! But we love him. Sometimes I wonder why, but we do.

Submitted by: Judy

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Gallery: Puss

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Name: Puss
Location: Protest

Puss is a meankitty

This is actually how cats SMILE at you…by offering to let you lick their butt. Heh.

What makes Puss so mean?

This submission is done under protest, as, contrary to the insistence of my family, she is not mean.

One: We had known for quite some time that she’d been catching the post as it came through the letterbox, which was why it was always crumpled and shredded. One day, I return home to find large spots of blood on the porch. The next day, when an irate postman knocked on the door, it was revealed that she was not attacking the post, she was attacking his fingers…and not for the first time. We had to put up a sign and a box or the Post Office would cease delivery. Why did he have his finger through our letter box in the first place, anyway?

Two: She attacks indiscriminately. Everything that moves is her fair game. Her favourite place to lurk is the stairs, where she will smack you as you go past or attack you ankles as you climb. She also goes for you if you stroke her too much, not enough, or in the wrong place. She enjoys biting, again, ankles are apparently her favourite, but her claws are sharp. I have not experienced this as much as the others say it happens.

Puss is a meankitty

You say “indiscriminately”, I say “master plan”.

Three: She is trying to kill my sister. On one occasion, when the light was off, she darted in front of my sister at the top of the stairs and nearly sent her flying down them, causing a large bruise on my sister’s knee and a rent in her jeans. Puss then bites my sister for falling over her.

Four: She will accept no food or attention from anyone but myself, and not always then.

Five: She is completely crazy. She attacks everything that moves and some things which don’t. Or don’t even exist. She chases her own tail, often when sitting on the back of a chair, causing her to curl around the bar at the top and look like a giant, furry hula hoop. Unfortunately, it has never been caught on camera.

Six: She is two faced. She pretends to run away from other cats, then will turn round and give them a good seeing to. I do not think this is meanness; I think it may be strategy.

Seven: She destroys things and has been blamed (although it was never proven) of breaking the cafetiere twice. She also has an irritating habit of sitting on your lap while you are eating and shoving her ass in your food.

Then, there is the usual; loud miaowing outside your door when you are sleeping; if she is in your room, and you move in your sleep she will attack you. Also, she sleep talks, or rather miaows and purrs when she’s sleeping. Especially if you are trying to sleep. This is loud, by the way… If she is outside overnight, she climbs in through upstairs windows and walks all over you. If a door is closed, it must be opened. She chatters (honestly) at birds, and she lies about whether or not she had been fed.

This is all true, I promise. But I still don’t think she’s mean.

Photo submitted by: Alys

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Gallery Purr Kitty

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Name: Purr Kitty
Location: Secret Drawer

Purr Kitty is a meankitty

Dog-chasing…a noble hobby! I keep my diary of successful hunts in this drawer.

What makes Purr Kitty so mean?

My kitty is mean because she likes to chase, catch, and chew on dogs. Especially little dogs although she has tried to go after bigger dogs. Recently she was seen chasing a kid on a bicycle.

She also likes to steal her human slave’s pillow from her, and if the silly human tries to move her, Ms. Purr meows a warning.

Purr Kitty

Oh, YOU want to use the pillow? Come on. Try it. Dare ya.

If that does not work she bites her hand. She keeps her teeth nice and sharp by chewing on anything metal.

Submitted by: Kerry

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