Posts Tagged ‘P’
Wednesday, March 15th, 2017
Garfield is a wuss.
What makes Pumpkin so mean?
Pumpkin is like Garfield’s evil twin. She is so fat that she can barely clean her own dingleberries off her fur and rarely gives the fur she can reach a good bath. She’s rather greasy.
She likes to get up in her feeding slave’s face and meow obnoxiously until fed. Her human (aka feeding slave and pooper scooper) has to feign sleep in order to avoid Pumpkin’s bad feline breath in her face at 6 am. If Pumpkin is not served on time or does not like the food put in her bowl, she will get revenge by pooping on the floor.
Pumpkin also has a hissing problem, terrible cat food breath, and a habit of swatting at people. She occasionally tries to bite. Her human tried to help her with her weight and self-esteem issues by putting her on an expensive kitty diet, but Pumpkin gained all the lost weight back as soon as the food was changed back to the regular stuff.
Another one of Pumpkin’s hobbies is leaving behind clumps of fur all over the drapes, chairs, and bedding. She has her human slave well-trained to serve her demanding whims.
Pumpkin lives with Twinkie.
Photo submitted by: Sandi
Monday, February 27th, 2017
Who gave you permission to touch me??
What makes Pearl so mean?
I got Pearl when she was 7 weeks old. She started out as the adorable loving kitty, but then one night she just turned evil! She’s now three years old and over the course of time, we have introduced two new cats, a bird, a puppy and a ferret to our household. Needless to say, she’s not all that thrilled about it.
Heres a list of the mean things she does:
1. She puts her feet over the food bowl to make sure she gets all she wants before anyone else. She will even inspect the other food to make sure we didn’t give anyone else something different, and if we did, she eats it too!
2. She’s especially evil to my little brother; she hisses and growls and bites him every chance she gets.
3. She doesn’t like company. People always comment on what a beautiful cat I have, but I have to warn them not to pet her, because she bites! Needless to say they don’t believe me. I actually have a sign on the door that says not to pet the white cat!
4. She teases the dog by sitting up high where he can’t reach her, then he barks and barks…..and we have to scold him for it. I think she’s secretly laughing inside every time.
5. She lays on the middle of the kitchen table, and keyboard.
6. She sits in front of the family room TV so we can’t see! I tell her over and over again that she isn’t invisible, but she doesn’t believe me or doesn’t care!
7. She trips us on the stairs, stares at us in the bathroom, constantly meows at 4 am (even when she’s not in heat) and thinks our full cups of soda, milk, coffee, are her own personal drinking dishes.
8. And what is up with that constant scratching on the wall next to the litter box?? That’s not how you cover your poop!
9. She gets along great with the bird and ferret….go figure!!
10. She won’t let me sleep on my own bed, and when she does, it’s only temporary. I soon wake because she’s biting my hands or feet.
Photo submitted by: Melissa
Thursday, January 28th, 2016
You're looking at me...and I don't LIKE it!
What makes Picasso so mean?
Here is a list of Picasso’s likes and dislikes:
Likes: Howling all night to keep her mom and dad slaves awake, slamming the cabinet doors, standing under your feet so you trip, fighting with her sister under the bed in the middle of the night, meowing in your face and then running away, spilling paint on the floor than walking through it, playing in the fireplace, hiding in the shower in the guest bathroom and scaring people while they use the toilet and the idea of the world blowing up and only her and a few cockroaches being left.
Ursula likes undies....I like my little cave!
Dislikes: Being looked at, talked to, breathed on, basically EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.
Picasso lives with Ursula.
Photo submitted by: Chris and Callie
Friday, November 27th, 2015
Location: Dad’s House
Aw, I didn't scratch the kitten on purpose. There was a bee on it, cat's honor!
What makes Portia so mean?
My father’s cat is so mean she circles the neighborhood looking for cats to beat up. She used to know exactly where to wait before the neighbor’s cat got let out for the day so she could leap on it. She even scratched a kitten in the eye once! Don’t be fooled by the cute white nose and paws…she’s a meany!
Photo submitted by: Anon
Tuesday, October 28th, 2014
Location: Levering, MI
It's true, I hate men. They smell like dogs.
What makes Petey so mean?
This lovely big ball of fur is Petey. Petey has a sister who is on this site, and that would be Lucy. Petey is Lucy’s unfortunate little brother. He is about four years old and is my very first cat of my own. He was given to me after our other male cat, Bo-bo, died. Petey isn’t a mean kitty to me or my mother, but to any bed spread, book, or make up brush he is. He also doesn’t like men. He especially hates my twin brother Cory. Cory likes to play helicopter with poor Petey and Petey has recently drawn blood from Cory’s cheek.
We don't need no....EDUCATION! We don't need no books, neither.
Anywho, Petey has a tendency to lay on my books while I’m trying to do my homework. If I attempt to move the books he will sink his teeth into any part of the book he can and proceed to kick it furiously with his hind legs. Once I get the book out of his grasp he will attack my bed spread, violently.
Hey, can you pour me some more Fruit Loops? I got no thumbs.
Petey is also in love with human food. He would much rather eat our food than his own. Whenever someone has lunch meat or cream cheese, he will stalk you from the kitchen to where ever you are going to enjoy your food. He will then jump on the table, bed, counter, etc. to get in your face and loudly meow at you until you cave. He is the light of my life and I love him so much, but he tends to be a brat and really, really mean to my brother and my boyfriend. Or any other male, for that matter.
Photo submitted by: Caitie
Tuesday, April 29th, 2014
Name: Princess (6)
Location: Rock Island, IL
I’ll give you three more seconds to snap the photo, human, and then it’s kitty whirlwind time.
What makes Princess so mean?
Princess is a mean kitty because she’s wearing a leopard costume, and leopards are mean. Actually, she’s angry because she’s wearing a costume. At the time, she had one other furry feline friend who was seriously scared because of the costume: she thought Princess was another cat! However, Princess just came up to her like normal, really freaking out the other cat. We laughed SOOO hard!!!
Photo submitted by: Rose
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
I am going to leave something very mean in the laundry basket, ha ha!
What makes Patch so mean?
Patch who is 5 months old in these photos is an extremely active cat. His favorite thing is attacking people’s hands. You can’t rub his belly without him gifting you with a scar.
He also likes bringing in live frogs and torturing them to death. He isn’t like Minky (the other cat pictured above), who sleeps all day. Patch only sleeps half the day and leaves something very mean in the litter tray.
I actually prefer to torture fairies, but frogs are easier to catch.
Patch nibbles at people’s faces during the night, pulls their hair with his claws, and deliberately runs around in wet mud and then jumps on their clothes.
His favorite drink is blood.
Submitted by: John
Friday, January 17th, 2014
Location: The bathroom
Go outside and bathe in the hose, human. I'm busy in here.
What makes Paris so mean?
I got Paris an an animal shelter when she was three years old. When I took her home the first thing she did was crawl into the tub. Now it is her home, and she doesn’t like home invasions. You have to call her into the kitchen and ply her with treats in order to take a shower, but you’d better be quick!
Photo submitted by: April
Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
Name: Princess Ladybug
RIP Princess Ladybug. Gone but not forgotten, leaving many humans in need of counselling.
What makes Princess so mean?
Her adoption papers said that she had problems “socializing” but there was more, much more to that. She truly hated people. In fact, she hated people, all other animals, newspapers, vets, bugs, plants, my robe, the weather, Christmas…shall I go on?
She tolerated me because I was very gentle with her, had rescued her from the pound, and besides, I fed her special yummies! I also cleared a nice spot for her on the bed… right next to my pillow… every night. She didn’t always sleep there, but she liked having the option.
After a few months she actually grew to like me too (I think). It is very flattering to have the WildCat From Hell curl up with you and lick your nose every once in a while.
However, I was the only one she could bring herself to love. No one else would ever see her being anything less than severely angry and threatening. Whenever someone would visit, she would stiffen up and just stare at them with these wide, wild eyes until they left. Motionless, she would make these very scary, foreboding noises, growls from very deep within. Some people tried to pet her. They were the bravest people I’ve ever known.
Once, when a friend stayed for dinner, Princess sat right up on the kitchen table – directly in front of my friend – and stared at her. In addition to making the deep growling noise she would also scream and hiss every time my friend moved. I tried several times to get Princess off the table. There was much screaming and hissing! She let us know she was NOT MOVING until my friend left the premises. It was an interesting meal. We still talk about that day. My cat is kind of a legend around here.
Photo submitted by: Carol Ann
Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Name: Pussy Galore, formerly Mr. Hairy
Is that the fridge door I hear? Mew, mew, mew. I'm so sweet!
What makes Pussy Galore so mean?
It’s not surprising that kitty has issues when she was called Mr Hairy for her first 6 months. That’s bound to get your goat, especially when your an arrogant prissy like Pussy Galore!
She’s totally bi-polar, really nice at times. Well, when the fridge door is open she switches to ‘lovely puss’, but as soon as there’s no food on the cards she’s an antisocial, scratchy, unaffectionate beast.
She doesn’t like giving out strokes and has a techniques of dodging and diving around your hand so there’s no way you can get a proper, satisfying one.
The worst thing is when she slips into ‘crazy eye’ mode. This normally involves waiting until I am trying to come down the stairs, blocking the route and jumping onto the bottom of my leg and attacking it with all her gusto!! There’s teeth latched on (normally to the bone at the front of the leg,) front legs wrapped around the calf in a bear-hug style, and pistoning her back legs (kinda like a rabbit) to get maximum scratchage on the ankle area. The thing is, if you spot her waiting to attack, and try to sweet talk her into being a good puss, it only gets her more excited and she’ll even start eyeing up as if to jump at your face.
Despite her sporadic attacks, she is so beautiful and has a massive bushy tail. She loves to talk and has a boyfriend (a big fat stray) she likes to go out with. She is also stupid (almost punch-drunk) at times, doing things like jumping onto something and falling immediately off again.
Submitted by: Fran