Posts Tagged ‘master fey’
Saturday, June 13th, 2015
Don't creep up behind me like that! It makes me feel paranoid.
What makes Skittles so mean?
This is Skittles, named as such because the moment we brought him home as a tiny kitten about seven years ago, he immediately ran to the couch, plopped onto his side, sunk his claws into the material and yanked himself along as though he were on a pulley. We called it “skittering.” (You thought he was named for the candy, huh?)
I'll give you five, all right...five sharp ones!
Skittles (a.k.a. Bubba and Sugar Butt) is a total Mama’s Boy and has to be where I am at all times. He sleeps with me, follows me from room to room, and throws a tantrum (by screaming at the top of his lungs, in his high-pitched baby-meow, non-stop) when he’s been shut out of a room into which I’ve gone. But Skittles isn’t all fat, blubbery love…oh, no. He’s a biter. I’m told (over and over again) that this is because I’ve spoiled him so much without discipline, but I know in my heart that, although his preternaturally large size speaks otherwise, Skittles still thinks he’s a kitten and doesn’t realize or understand that when he bites us playfully, it hurts!
Going in for the big biteowski...
My boyfriend, Steve (with whom Skittles is quite competitive for my attentions), is learning just who’s the Alpha-male around here. You’d think after all this time, my two boys would get along, but the sad truth of the matter is that Skittles doesn’t appreciate this extended intrusion of such an interloper in his life.
Photo submitted by: Heather
Thursday, June 11th, 2015
Location: Tampa, FL
This is me waiting to scratch you till I'm satisfied.
What makes Cooter so mean?
Cooter, who was found on the street at probably only a month or two of life, was a scavenger who loved to draw blood for fun. He would follow you around waiting for you to stop and then go for the kill. If you weren’t wearing pants or sleeves he would scratch and bite until he was satisfied or you chase him off. The stairs were his favorite, nipping at your feet the whole way up and down. So the bathroom became his home until slowly he gave up his predator-like behavior.
This is me daring you to turn on the sink...
Now he has settled into a nice fat spoiled house cat.
Photo submitted by: Jared
Wednesday, June 10th, 2015
Name: Baby Cat
If I were a movie star, do you think I'd bother attacking anyone? I'd have my agent do it!
What makes Baby Cat so mean?
This is Baby Cat. She is a Black and White tuxedo type, with the “movie star” attitude to match. She likes to jump out at people, dogs, shadows, or just wind. She is always trying to attack something.
She is rotten to the core! I might need protection from another cat down the road.
Photo submitted by: Gena
Thursday, February 12th, 2015
I'm NOT ready for my close-up.
What makes Hunter so mean?
Hunter is a mean kitty because he lives up to his name. His prey? Human feet. I also live up to the slave part. I believe the only reason I haven’t been killed in my sleep is because he hasn’t learn to drive a car yet.
Other than the fact that I can drive to the grocery store to get chow Hunter finds me completely useless. This picture was taken after I had been taking pictures of him all day and like any celebrity, which he knows he is, Hunter had grown tried of the paparazzi and attacked.
Photo submitted by: Tamarra
Saturday, February 7th, 2015
Name: Sir Oliver
WHAP! Teach you to touch my abcess.
What makes Sir Oliver so mean?
This is my cat, Sir Oliver. When he goes to the vet, he has to anesthetized to have anything (even vaccines) done to him. I work in a vet clinic; he’s by far one of the worst behaved cats I’ve ever seen. This picture is from when he was under house arrest b/c he had an abscess from a cat fight I was treating. He’s an outdoor cat and gets 3-5 abscesses a year from cat fights.
Photo submitted by: Miranda
Monday, January 6th, 2014
Name: Mrs. Calabash
Location: New York City
I'm going to have to teach you a little lesson, human...
What makes Mrs. Calabash so mean?
I’d like to submit two photos — a before’n’after, if you will, of my kitty, Mrs. Calabash.
File Under “The Price of Fame”:
First came the photo shoot. She was sexy and curvy, yet wholesome, with big clear eyes and a sweet face, just the kind of girl you’d take home to Mother. After that first screen test came fame, and along with fame came the inevitable decadence… the parties, the drugs, the all-night Tender Vittles orgies. Now, out of her skull on catnip and Pounce Hairball Treats, incandescent with rage, Mrs. Calabash claws out the eyeballs of the paparazzi, snarling: “I said put the camera AWAY, monkeyboy! And I mean NOW.”
Never ever ever try to photograph me until I've washed my whiskers!
Photo submitted by: Hanne Blank
Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Name: Killer Kitten
The secret to silky fur...human pain!
What makes Kitten so mean?
Kitten lives on a diet of the cheapest on-sale dry food plus anything she can kill. She has a beautiful coat — she’s getting the nutrition from somewhere. I can pick her up and put her on my shoulder, where she can walk around. My girlfriend can actually hold her for five, maybe ten seconds. My GF’s roommate saw us with Kitten and tried to pick up “the nice kitty” and got four sets of claws as well as teeth. To the face. Many stitches.
Kitten will lurk in wait of your passing by, and then nail you with her claws. For fun.
She is truly eeeeevil.
Photo submitted by: Kirk
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Name: Tuxedo Max
I know I'm a lightweight when it comes to SOHC qualifications, but I'm a heavyweight in mah belly!
What makes T-Max so mean?
Tuxedo Max (AKA TuxTux KittyKitty) may not LOOK mean (or even act mean) but he IS! In his high and mighty snuggliness, he endeavors to suffocate me at least once a day. The attack is usually preceded by the tried and true “Look at my cute belly!” maneuver. Once I succumb to the charm of that flashy white belly (which is huge, by the way, he’s a 20 pounder), and pick him up, he proceeds to headbutt me and block my breathing passages with his massive, longhaired sides. Also when he is in full purring smother attack, he has been known to ever so slowly get his face close to that sensitive part of my inner arm and CHOMP! He bites down with those long and pointy teeth. The only way to stave off these attacks of smothering is to fill his food dish heaping full, immediately. Or offer him catnip, in which case, he is reduced to a puddle of drooling mush. I’m sure that’s just a ploy, to get me to offer him more munchy snacks.
Photo submitted by: Elisa
Friday, December 28th, 2012
That wasn’t psychosis, that was the hazing I had to inflict to become a member of SOHC. Silly humans.
What makes Kitty so mean?
Kitty (simple name) has truly shown an evil streak in the past but has since been exorcised…although at times he does give a look that brings back memories…
Memories of standing on top of furniture (four grown men trying to avoid claws) on Christmas morning when Kitty mentally skipped a groove and went ballistic, which worked the other 2 cats and all 4 men in the room into a frenzy of wrapping paper, falling furniture and debris. Finally we used thick oven mitts to grab him and lock him in the bedroom for a timeout. He was out of the bedroom by the afternoon but growling and hissing for another couple of days, keeping everyone (cats and humans) sleeping with one eye open for about a week. True feline psychosis!
Photo submitted by: Buck
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
My house. My yard. My rules. You don't like it? Get out. But come back whenever I need a door opened, 'kay?
What makes Willie so mean?
She’s a total wench! She’s evil. She was brought into this world to make my life difficult. She chases people out of the house and across the yard, even people like me who live there.
Submitted by: Anon