Posts Tagged ‘M’
Sunday, March 30th, 2014
If they're dumb enough not to notice me behind TRANSPARENT curtains, they deserve to get clawed up.
What makes Murphey so mean?
Murphey’s mother (Fluffy) was a stray that my family ended up taking in, and then our tabby Eddie knocked her up and she had five kittens. I got to keep Murphey.
He was very sweet to me when he was a baby. He used to sleep in my hair every night. He was extremely obnoxious to everyone else, though, and used to run all the way from my room into my mother’s room and claw his way up one side of the curtains on her window and down the other. I knew every time he did it because I would hear her shriek “Murphey!” at the top of her lungs, and then she would yell at me to come get my demon cat and put him outside. He also used to lie in wait in my closet behind my see-through curtains for my mom, my sister, or my mom’s fat pug Kiwi to walk by, whereupon he would jump out and attack them. Oh, and he would bite anyone who tried to pet him (except for me, of course). He even peed on my mother’s bed twice. One summer he got into a fight with his mom, Fluffy, in our backyard and pushed her into the pool.
FYI, pushing ME into the pool after I was just trying to teach the old lady to swim is NOT GOOD. Wait and see what happens on your bed NOW, human.
Unfortunately, a couple of months ago he got very sick and passed on, and I miss him and think of him every single day. But I know that he’s having fun terrorizing everyone up there in kitty-heaven. I love you, Murph!!!
Submitted by: Lexie
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
I am going to leave something very mean in the laundry basket, ha ha!
What makes Patch so mean?
Patch who is 5 months old in these photos is an extremely active cat. His favorite thing is attacking people’s hands. You can’t rub his belly without him gifting you with a scar.
He also likes bringing in live frogs and torturing them to death. He isn’t like Minky (the other cat pictured above), who sleeps all day. Patch only sleeps half the day and leaves something very mean in the litter tray.
I actually prefer to torture fairies, but frogs are easier to catch.
Patch nibbles at people’s faces during the night, pulls their hair with his claws, and deliberately runs around in wet mud and then jumps on their clothes.
His favorite drink is blood.
Submitted by: John
Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Name: Marie Leveau
Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?
What makes Marie so mean?
Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!
Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.
Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.
However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.
Photo submitted by: April S
Tuesday, September 17th, 2013
That's right. Yeah. I'm a hot-tay who knows how to par-tay.
What makes Momo so mean?
Name: Mymojomoon, or Momo, or Mewmew, spaz cat or OW STOP THAT!!! for short.
Weight: 8 pounds (I am single, ladies!)
Occupation: Holy Terror of Dogs and Slaves
Don’t let my big blue eyes and innocent looks fool you. I keep my slaves well under control. My slaves (I have a mated pair) rescued me when I was under a year old from the local SPCA. The male brought me home, after finally giving in to the female who wanted a kitty. They were worried how I’d get along with the dog slave, a pit bull mix who weighs 85 pounds, but he is a push over.
One of my favorite things to do is play hide and pounce. Whenever the dog is walking by, I rush him with my claws out and my tail all fluffy. Stupid dog. He just stands there and looks at me. I don’t care if he is lying down either, I still jump him. I also like to get him to try and chase me, then I fluff up and dance sideways (I am an excellent dancer, ladies, AND I have my own ‘nip patch) away from him until I can get up a good clip, then I rush him head first and leap onto his big smelly neck where I sink all four sets of claws and my teeth into him and roll him over.
I am so tired after a day of beatin' doggie butt. Shew! So what fine unfixed feline wants a date with me? Or you can be fixed, I'm not picky, I just like the ladies.
I also enjoy attacking the lazy two leggers. My male slave likes to sit in his chair in the living room; I don’t tolerate that, so I run up and down the house to get his attention. If he continues to ignore me (ME, IGNORE ME! How rude!) I jump in the air, claws out, and bat him a few times. I bat his face, I bat his chest, I bat his arms, I bat his hands. Anything I can get my claws into. He HAS to be disciplined for ignoring me. I then run away and hide and wait for the female to walk by, then I bat her or chase her around the house for not training her mate better. Or I do the hit and run dance where I speed out of my hiding spot, grab her ankles, then dart back into cover.
At night, after successfully chasing the dog off of the bed, I stretch out on my back between the slaves [after tormenting them a good while of course] and fall blissfully asleep, dreaming of being able to wake them up at 3 am…4 am…whenever…to do whatever I wish. Oh, I live the good life!
Photo submitted by: Briana
Sunday, September 1st, 2013
Name: Meanie Pie
Heirloom pictures…soon to meet their doom.
What makes Meanie Pie so mean?
He once gave me a black eye in the middle of the night using my face as a springboard to get from the window sill to the bureau. I looked at myself in the mirror the next morning and my first thought was, ‘Huh, I was’t wearing mascara yesterday…’
We often tell him how bad and mean he is, which he adores.
Photo submitted by: Alice
Monday, July 29th, 2013
As soon as the human turns his back, I’m knocking all this crap to the floor.
What makes Marcus so mean?
Marcus was a mean kitty…if you were another kitty. Don’t let the sweet look fool you. Sure he was sweet to his human slaves, but to other animals he was psycho. No one was safe when he was in the same room with another animal. Even innocent bystanders were not safe, suffering his wrath if they got in the way. He lived fast and died young, but he was our mean kitty and we loved him anyway.
Submitted by: Peter Miller
Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Time for some…attention…give it to me!
What makes Maxx so mean?
Maxx is the coolest cat I or my friends have ever known. For instance he drinks with his paw only, not by bending down and drinking from bowl. He scoops or dips his paw in and licks it that way. He eats anything but meat unless its dry or moist cat food. Some of the things he likes are popcorn bits, nacho chips, bananas.
I only play guitar to get chicks. And catnip.
He even plays the guitar. I was ignoring him one day and suddenly heard my guitar, which he was “strumming” to get my attention. In addition to playing guitar, he bites me when he wants more attention.
Submitted by: Barrie
Friday, July 26th, 2013
Ooooh, I see a girlfriend! That pisses me off!
What makes Maximus so mean?
Little did I know how close I hit the mark by naming this mean kitty Maximus after the Gladiator of the same name. While only 2 years old, he is feared by all my friends and his name is whispered in fear among ex-girlfriends. Anyone who has ever come over to my place says the same thing: that cat is psycho.
True to the heritage his name bears, he is a fierce fighter and will defend his kingdom (in this case the corner of my couch where he sleeps) to the death by his patent-pending Puncture Attack Claw and bite combo. His daily training consists of my hands in the shapes of a snakes moving on him in a velociraptor-like fashion. Because of this, my forearms are constantly covered in scratches.
I’m preparing for my other patent pending attack, the Raptor Spring! I can achieve human head height!
What is most confusing is that he can be quite lovable, often laying straddled on my chest and purring and following me wherever I go. This, however, is only a front for his true nature. Hands or feet that stray over the edge of the bed during the night, as well as one’s head while sleeping, are all fair game. Often standing on hind legs to attack, Maximus is truly the meanest cat I have ever owned, his psychotic demeanor tempered only by myself alone.
Submitted by: David DeVere
Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Bite a cat? People taste better!
What makes Maxi so mean?
Maxi was rescued from the Morris animal shelter about 7 years ago and was so afraid of everything that she would hiss and run away every time company came. Eventually, she warmed up, and now she’s just the life of the party. Often seen wearing a lampshade on her head and terrorizing random human slaves.
Too bad she’s not the same way with other cats. She doesn’t retaliate when her feline sister attacks her and bites her on the neck in a mean way.
Submitted by: Kris
Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Location: Atop the computer
Time to visit meankitty.com, human…
What makes Max so mean?
I have a mean kitty myself named Max he is 22 pounds and the vet has to sedate him just to be examined. He used to drag one of my other cats around by the neck.
The computer monitor shelf Max is on in the picture is no longer applicable to flat screen monitors, but man was it handy back when monitors were boxes!
Submitted by: Sandy