Posts Tagged ‘M’
Sunday, May 25th, 2014
Dog hairdressing is only my side business. I make most of my mad money as the SOHC area secretary.
What makes Mollie so mean?
This is Mollie at 12 yrs old. (Doesn’t she look sweet? She really is not.) Mollie is a mean cat because:
#1: She doesn’t like any other cats. The ONLY animal she likes is HER dog. And she only likes him if he lays very still and lets her groom his head, which by the way is very hard for him to be still while she is doing this. He wants to PLAY! She doesn’t.
#2: Mollie thinks it’s time to get up the minute the sun comes up and meows loudly to say so. Pillows (or insults) thrown in her direction are of no use.
#3: Mollie has always marked the corners in the house when there is carpet with pee and will probably always do so.
#4: Mollie is an excellent mouser. This is a good trait, and she can catch and eat a mouse in record time, but then you’ve got a dead mouse to deal with.
#5: Mollie gets very upset when someone new moves in OR visits too long. She has been known to pee in a visitor’s drawer and pooped in my shoes one time to tell me how much displeasure she had at the new guest.
#6: Mollie complains loudly if you pick her up, she only wants you pet her when she wants to be petted, and you must pet her in the manner she dictates or she might bite you. Which happens sometimes in the middle of the night! She always wants to sleep with me and demands I pet her by shoving her head in my hand. If I don’t obey she bites me and I have slowly extract my hand or she bites down hard! I’ve never quite figured out if this is ecstasy from the petting or pure meanness.
She rules this house and I won’t get another cat until she’s gone. God forbid if I upset her again!! (the shoe thing)
Submitted by: Ileene
Thursday, May 15th, 2014
Name: Meatball Alexander
You're off schedule, human! It's time for my daily tuna snack!
What makes Meatball so mean?
Meatball Alexander is a one of a kind cat. He thinks everything is all about him and insists that he sticks to the time schedule he made, of course. He wants his can food at eight am. If you are not awake he will sink his teeth and front and back claws in the bottom of your feet until he draws blood and you wake up. If he thinks you’re not moving fast enough he will cut you off and then sit right in your path. If you stumble into him, he wraps around your leg and bites as if it were your fault you tripped over him.
He doesn’t like his belly fat touched. He will act all loveable so you think he wants petted, but that is just his trickery. WHen you get close, he will meow and attack like a lion going for a kill. If he is sleeping, beware you don’t disturb him! He will glare at you, and if looks could kill, you would be dead. He takes everything over. If something is in his way, he will knock it off with his paw or lay on it until it falls or he breaks it.
Loooooooook at the belly fat. You know you want to touch it.
Meatball may purr, but that is nothing to go awwwww about! If you’re on the couch, bed or floor he will lay on your face to get you to move…and purr while doing it. He is also a snoop. He will tear the grocery bags up, and he doesn’t care if the bags are empty or not. I can’t do laundry without him climbing into the dryer. Another thing about Meatball is that if the litter box is not halfway full of litter, he will take his paw and fling it all out of the pan. Meatball is unique, but a mean kitty.
Submitted by: Theresa
Friday, May 2nd, 2014
Location: Chesterfield, UK
Grooming is for DOGS and will not be tolerated!
What makes Mimi so mean?
I would like to introduce Mimi, our beloved yet fearsome tortoiseshell cat. Mimi had a hard start in life. She was rescued by my partner when she was only a kitten. Her original owner was one of those types who think pets are a great idea but when they get them home and the responsibility kicks in, they get bored. Our Mims and her sister cat Amy (who my partner also ended up adopting) were very neglected – fed and watered but unloved. It was love at first sight when Mimi first set eyes on my partner. She was so grateful for a bit of affection that she moved in with him and a much happier life started for her.
I came along a couple of years later and also fell head over heels for her. I tried everything to get her to bond with me but she only had eyes for my partner for several years. I was bit, scratched, terrorised into not using the stairs (her favourite spot) and generally bullied to bits by a ball of fluff who can’t weigh more than a large bag of sugar. Eventually we bonded and now I am permitted to tickle the sacred tummy, scratch behind the sacrosanct ears and I’m even privileged enough to have my lap sat on occasionally.
Mimi rules our house with her moods and whims and although she has settled down a lot, she still has the occasional tantrum. She slashed my partner’s arm open wrist to elbow as he had the temerity to attempt a grooming.
Submitted by: Roanna
Sunday, March 30th, 2014
If they're dumb enough not to notice me behind TRANSPARENT curtains, they deserve to get clawed up.
What makes Murphey so mean?
Murphey’s mother (Fluffy) was a stray that my family ended up taking in, and then our tabby Eddie knocked her up and she had five kittens. I got to keep Murphey.
He was very sweet to me when he was a baby. He used to sleep in my hair every night. He was extremely obnoxious to everyone else, though, and used to run all the way from my room into my mother’s room and claw his way up one side of the curtains on her window and down the other. I knew every time he did it because I would hear her shriek “Murphey!” at the top of her lungs, and then she would yell at me to come get my demon cat and put him outside. He also used to lie in wait in my closet behind my see-through curtains for my mom, my sister, or my mom’s fat pug Kiwi to walk by, whereupon he would jump out and attack them. Oh, and he would bite anyone who tried to pet him (except for me, of course). He even peed on my mother’s bed twice. One summer he got into a fight with his mom, Fluffy, in our backyard and pushed her into the pool.
FYI, pushing ME into the pool after I was just trying to teach the old lady to swim is NOT GOOD. Wait and see what happens on your bed NOW, human.
Unfortunately, a couple of months ago he got very sick and passed on, and I miss him and think of him every single day. But I know that he’s having fun terrorizing everyone up there in kitty-heaven. I love you, Murph!!!
Submitted by: Lexie
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
I am going to leave something very mean in the laundry basket, ha ha!
What makes Patch so mean?
Patch who is 5 months old in these photos is an extremely active cat. His favorite thing is attacking people’s hands. You can’t rub his belly without him gifting you with a scar.
He also likes bringing in live frogs and torturing them to death. He isn’t like Minky (the other cat pictured above), who sleeps all day. Patch only sleeps half the day and leaves something very mean in the litter tray.
I actually prefer to torture fairies, but frogs are easier to catch.
Patch nibbles at people’s faces during the night, pulls their hair with his claws, and deliberately runs around in wet mud and then jumps on their clothes.
His favorite drink is blood.
Submitted by: John
Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Name: Marie Leveau
Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?
What makes Marie so mean?
Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!
Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.
Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.
However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.
Photo submitted by: April S
Tuesday, September 17th, 2013
That's right. Yeah. I'm a hot-tay who knows how to par-tay.
What makes Momo so mean?
Name: Mymojomoon, or Momo, or Mewmew, spaz cat or OW STOP THAT!!! for short.
Weight: 8 pounds (I am single, ladies!)
Occupation: Holy Terror of Dogs and Slaves
Don’t let my big blue eyes and innocent looks fool you. I keep my slaves well under control. My slaves (I have a mated pair) rescued me when I was under a year old from the local SPCA. The male brought me home, after finally giving in to the female who wanted a kitty. They were worried how I’d get along with the dog slave, a pit bull mix who weighs 85 pounds, but he is a push over.
One of my favorite things to do is play hide and pounce. Whenever the dog is walking by, I rush him with my claws out and my tail all fluffy. Stupid dog. He just stands there and looks at me. I don’t care if he is lying down either, I still jump him. I also like to get him to try and chase me, then I fluff up and dance sideways (I am an excellent dancer, ladies, AND I have my own ‘nip patch) away from him until I can get up a good clip, then I rush him head first and leap onto his big smelly neck where I sink all four sets of claws and my teeth into him and roll him over.
I am so tired after a day of beatin' doggie butt. Shew! So what fine unfixed feline wants a date with me? Or you can be fixed, I'm not picky, I just like the ladies.
I also enjoy attacking the lazy two leggers. My male slave likes to sit in his chair in the living room; I don’t tolerate that, so I run up and down the house to get his attention. If he continues to ignore me (ME, IGNORE ME! How rude!) I jump in the air, claws out, and bat him a few times. I bat his face, I bat his chest, I bat his arms, I bat his hands. Anything I can get my claws into. He HAS to be disciplined for ignoring me. I then run away and hide and wait for the female to walk by, then I bat her or chase her around the house for not training her mate better. Or I do the hit and run dance where I speed out of my hiding spot, grab her ankles, then dart back into cover.
At night, after successfully chasing the dog off of the bed, I stretch out on my back between the slaves [after tormenting them a good while of course] and fall blissfully asleep, dreaming of being able to wake them up at 3 am…4 am…whenever…to do whatever I wish. Oh, I live the good life!
Photo submitted by: Briana
Sunday, September 1st, 2013
Name: Meanie Pie
Heirloom pictures…soon to meet their doom.
What makes Meanie Pie so mean?
He once gave me a black eye in the middle of the night using my face as a springboard to get from the window sill to the bureau. I looked at myself in the mirror the next morning and my first thought was, ‘Huh, I was’t wearing mascara yesterday…’
We often tell him how bad and mean he is, which he adores.
Photo submitted by: Alice
Monday, July 29th, 2013
As soon as the human turns his back, I’m knocking all this crap to the floor.
What makes Marcus so mean?
Marcus was a mean kitty…if you were another kitty. Don’t let the sweet look fool you. Sure he was sweet to his human slaves, but to other animals he was psycho. No one was safe when he was in the same room with another animal. Even innocent bystanders were not safe, suffering his wrath if they got in the way. He lived fast and died young, but he was our mean kitty and we loved him anyway.
Submitted by: Peter Miller
Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Time for some…attention…give it to me!
What makes Maxx so mean?
Maxx is the coolest cat I or my friends have ever known. For instance he drinks with his paw only, not by bending down and drinking from bowl. He scoops or dips his paw in and licks it that way. He eats anything but meat unless its dry or moist cat food. Some of the things he likes are popcorn bits, nacho chips, bananas.
I only play guitar to get chicks. And catnip.
He even plays the guitar. I was ignoring him one day and suddenly heard my guitar, which he was “strumming” to get my attention. In addition to playing guitar, he bites me when he wants more attention.
Submitted by: Barrie