Posts Tagged ‘love’

Letters: I Love You

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

My Dearest Darling Meankitty,

I hope this note finds you well. There was so much I wanted to say in my last post but couldn’t. The feelings were too overwhelming. I have pined and longed for you since I first discovered your site almost ten years ago. Over the years I have come to accept the fact that we will never be together in this life. I use to curse life and my very existance for this fact. But that is no longer the case. Upon seeing your new site and that absolutely enchanting close-up of you on the top of the screen I can now say that I can/will eventaully die a happy and fullfilled cat.

With My Undying Love,
Thomas. (aka Tom)

PS: While I don’t know where you live I spend every night imaging how glorious it would be to sernade you. Do you think about me as much as I think about you? I wish we could get married and have kittens together!

***

Dear Tom,

I’m fixed. Sorry, dude.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Ignored By Love

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

This is not Tom, it is someone else with his email address. What should a meankitty do when the gorgeous grey tabby he loves with abandon thinks another cat is cute? Just because that other cat bites and scratches a lot. Seriously, isn’t that a plebian way to be a meankitty? The SOHC says so. What can I do to win my love’s heart?

Sincerely,
Tim

***

Dear “Tim”,

Biting and scratching is an elementary approach to maintaining SOHC membership, but it works. As to what a cat should do to be more attractive to a fellow meankitty, you don’t want to be a FAKE. Meankitties can see right through that.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Lover, Not Fighter

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I just have to warn you. Just because D is fixed doesn’t mean he and Meankitty aren’t going to try “it” with you. My Toby and Belle are fixed (at least the vet bill says so), but Toby is convinced he can still do it. Belle is the (lucky? unlucky?) recipient of his attentions. All done in slow motion because Toby really doesn’t know what he’s doing. Is there anything I can do to stop this mad lovin’?

Signed,
Kelliecats in the House of Love

***

Dear Kelliecats,

Now that D is grown into a huge chunk of annoying feline, he, too, thinks he is more of a stud than a dud. My typing slave got out this fuzzy throw which, incidentally, has a leopard on it, and D’s amorous attentions are captivated solely by the blankie. To entice Toby, get a WASHABLE blanket of similar fuzziness to Belle and leave it around in strategic places. For added incentive you can sprinkle catnip on it.

Signed,
Meankitty

Note: Since this advice was first written, D has continued to … do that thing he does so well. The blanket and others like it are still his special friends, though.

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