Meankitty.com

Name: Tangerine
Location: Unknown

I'm not a tangerine dream...I'm a tangerine nightmare!

What makes Tangerine so mean?

Our cat Tangerine takes pissed-off to the root of the term. When she wants something, she wants it now, and she wants it her way. I bought a rustic carved wood bowl and put it on the table as she watched. She must have been thinking the whole time, “Humm, let’s see what I can do to that bowl!” The next morning she wanted outside at about 5AM, but I wouldn’t let her out. When I left the room and she peed in my new bowl.

One time my husband was playing with her too rough on our bed she ran off. He left the room and she came back in and carefully peed on his side of the bed. She does many things that we swear she thought out. [[Meankitty's note: she totally does think it out.]] Even so, we wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Photo submitted by: Sherri

Dear Meankitty,

My 2 cats love going to the bathroom where ever they please. Their previous spot was at the bottom of the stairs but now they have moved into the DINING ROOM. They have been tested for diseases and I have tried everything from PetZyme and Animal Solutions to covering the area(s) w/ plastic or aluminum foil. It should be know that there are a total of 14 pets and 5 people living in this household. (11 are caged: bird, ferrets, and a rabbit; that leaves our pathetic loudmouth Sheltie). I have a suspicion this all start with my meankitty running my prissy kitty out of the litterbox.

Any new ideas?

Emmie, Future D.V.M.

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Dear Emmie,

Your cats wrote me behind your back and said it was the DOG who’s got the potty problem, not them! They didn’t want to rat the stupid canine out, but they are offended you accused them of being unable to hit the litterbox in a public forum. So that’s the way it is. And, also, the FERRETS get out of their cage at night and watch porn.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

I hope you can reply because I just don’t know WHAT to my kitties because they mean everything to me, even though I’m allergic to them. They wont eat anything except tuna and chocolate. The other day they put a hole in my water bed, and they eat my plants. But it’s the pooping that I just don’t like very much. What should I do, and when should I do it? Please help, I’m just desperate!

Thanks a bunch,
Sleepin’ with Stoolios

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Dear Sleepin’,

Since it’s ruined anyway, take the mattress out of the water bed, fill it with kitty litter and put a cot for yourself where the “real” litter boxes used to be. Then hire somebody else to clean it!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

We have a new kitten who has every parasite known to man plus a few. Can humans catch kitty worms and bugs? Should we be worried, because the kitten needs a lot of cleaning up after and we have to do it.

Signed,
Washin’ Hands

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Dear Washin’,

I sincerely hope you are getting your kitten treated by a good vet, for starters. I mean, we meankitties hate vets and tend to bite them at any given opportunity, but we do realize the necessity. And yes, you can catch parasites from kitty — giardia, in particular. My advice is don’t clean up after one of kitty’s unfortunate messes and then eat finger food.

Signed,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

My mean cat has decided that she sometimes does not like the newspapers spread around her cat pan to catch litter. She scratches and bites and rolls and tears at the papers every day at 4 a.m. At 10 a.m., she does not mind the papers, nor are they a problem at 6 p.m. What is going on here?

Sincerely,
Furious at 4 a.m.

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Dear Furious at 4 a.m.,

Apparently you are ignorant of the national organization, SOHC (Society of House Cats), which states that members must, among other things, do something noisy at least once while their human is sleeping. As all house cats strive to be in this highly reputable society, I doubt yours is going to leave off just because you don’t like it — to do so would be to forfeit membership. Learn to sleep through it.

Sincerely,
Meankitty