Meankitty.com

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Owner

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Dear FO,

Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: Chase
Location: Unknown

Clearly, their definition of 'clean' and mine are two different definitions. For example, they consider this food bowl "full" but it only has a strange, tasteless clear liquid in it.

What makes Chase so mean?

Chase likes to pee everywhere. It doesn’t matter if the litterbox is clean or dirty. He doesn’t seem to care or have a pattern. His name might be Chase but I call him the Urinator.

I think it’s because he is so lazy. He has to pee and doesn’t want to move, so he just lets it out whereever he is.

Submitted by: Ian

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box, leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Owner

***

Dear FO,

Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

My cat won’t go in the box, my cat won’t go in the box, my cat won’t go in the box, my cat whizzes in the clothes, my cat poops in the living room! What will I do?

Sincerely,
Ten Thousand Slaves

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Dear Slaves,

I get this question more often than any other. Any. Other. I have answered it several times, in several variations, but no more! At least, no more until I feel like answering it again. Or think of something new that is bound to be entirely useless for actual cat behavioral issues, which you may or may not have noticed, I don’t often “do”. Anyway, if you asked me this anytime over, oh, I dunno, the past freakin’ year, this is your response.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

HELP!!!!! I have a 4 month old male kitten and here lately he has missing the litter box and pooping bedside it. I clean it out regular, like everyday, but he refuses to poop in it. He just started this behavior just a week or two ago and we have no clue why. I have tried bleaching the spot as well as putting vinegar but he just will not give it up. Do u have any advice?

Sincerely,
Carmelia

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Dear Carmelia Slave,

Well, since it’s been ages since I got this email from you, I am going to assume the problem took care of itself. However, if you want to know what I would have told you had my Typing Slave been on the ball enough to post timely advice, I would have told you to cut a huge trap-door type hole in the floor where the kitten usually poops and the next time he squatted in the wrong place to do his business, presto! he’d be in for a rude shock when he dropped into the pail of cold water you placed in the pit. That might scare the sh*t out of him, but at least it wouldn’t be on the carpet.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear, Mean kitty

I have a cat that we just moed with. He is a boy his name is Toby and he is not weel around little kids. He has been going to the bathroom eerywhere. I do not want to take him to the vet just yet. Is their any way I can buy something or do some trick to makehim stop it? Or is he just marking his territory and i just have to wait it out? Please gie me some REAL advice please?

Thanks,
Catlover

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Dear Catlover,

It makes cats really angry when their humans can’t spell. Sometimes this makes them go to the bathroom everywhere, hence the term “pissed off”. As for tricks to make him stop weeling little kids, maybe you shouldn’t moe your cat? That sounds painful. Did giving him the moe involve a 3 Stooges eye poke? Or just a general nyuk nyuk nyuk and a head bonk?

Sincerely,
Meankitty

PS The cat is pissed off. Spoiling him will be of more use than a vet.

Dear Meankitty,

My young cat Raider has a pooping problem. She uses the cat box but more often she uses the corners of the house. I’m afraid if I don’t get rid of her, she will cause my other 11 week old kitten and my year old cat to start pooping in the wrong places. Help? I need your advice!!!

Sincerely,
LoX

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Dear LoX,

Welllll, I was going to tell you a life-changing, enriching, miraculous secret too, but you lost me when you mentioned that you actually consider getting rid of her over a little poo. Are you related to Heartbroken in San Francisco? So…none for you either!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten lets loose everywhere. What went wrong? Is it because I have an older cat and my kitten is territorial?

Signed,
Smelly House

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Dear Smelly,

D did that when he was a kitten. It was because I told him a scary story about the “Underground Poo Eaters with Huge Teeth” that live in the catbox and clean out all the finished business every so often. He was terrified to go near it! Tee-hee…those were the days! ut then he figured out that the humans clean out the catbox and the Poo Eaters were just an urban legend.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

My Sir Thomas gained a little sister a year and a half ago. He went from being a loving, very cuddly boy to a nasty tempered demon. To this day most of the time he spits and hisses at me, and he sprays anything and everything several times over. Luckily his spray has very little odor. But he seems to be obsessive-compulsive about it. I want my mild-tempered, loving, non-spraying cat back. Is there any way I can help him to like me again?

Signed,
Sandy

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Dear Sandy,

Who wants a mild-tempered kitty? What would life be without hissing, spitting, biting and the like? For the spraying, see my advice to Rommina. You could also try feeding Sir Thomas and Little Sister lots of tuna. Just be sure to give plenty to both of them. When dirty little D (he WAS little then…) came into my house, I was pretty irritated for a while, but my Human Typing Slave gave me tuna and treats in a special location away from gnoshing D so the little bugger couldn’t raid my stash. That helped.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

My cat Nacho, is the cutest cat in the world. He loves to play & cuddle and has been really good to me. He is the first cat I have ever owned. Lately, I have noticed that he has been peeing in one of the corners of my living room & I can’t figure out why or how to make him stop that. Please help!!

Signed,
Rommina

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Dear Rommina,

He might be mad because you gave him a name like Nacho. You could try putting an extra cat pan in the corner of your living room or spraying the area with Feliway or No-Go, products available from Drs. Foster and Smith or Petsmart. Or you could just learn to appreciate the fine kitty cologne that Nacho is sharing with you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty