Meankitty.com

Name: Tulaf
Location: Crouching in the bathroom

What they don’t know is I pee on the other bathmats, too, it just doesn’t show stains, heh heh heh

What makes Laf so mean?

This evil feline is named ‘Laf (short for Tulaf — don’t ask). He has his own theme song to strut to. Why is he so mean? Let me list several of his less charming qualities:

1. He’s a fighter, not a lover. When someone tries to give him some much-needed loving, he growls.
2. He DEMANDS fresh, cool water from the sink. The stream must flow at the just the right speed and temperature, or he sneezes and wipes his paws all over the mirror in disdain.
3. Occasionally, he likes to pee on the fluffy white bathmats just to assert his evil dominance.
4. ‘Laf gets very excited about his vittles, sometimes a little too excited. When he over-stuffs his fat face, he will puke by the trashcan.
5. He licks himself, in dog-like fashion, in front of his human slaves. This is just WRONG!

But, like many bullies, he’s really a softie underneath the rogue exterior — he sucks on a leopard-print pillow when he thinks no one’s looking.

Submitted by: Kerry

Name: Lady
Location: North Carolina

If you won't scratch that spot on my back, I'll do it myself.

What makes Lady so mean?

Here’s Lady, my meankitty. She’s the smartest cat I’ve ever known, and I know she’s always plotting devious things when I’m not looking. She loves to chew on plastic bags and she can get into almost anything. I had to put childproof locks on my cabinets because she was getting into the cleaning supplies!

She’s very talkative, especially when she sees a bird out the window, but she doesn’t meow like a normal cat, she chirps and gurgles. Her more mentally-challenged brother, Tuffy, is the sweetest orange fluff ever, so because of that she gets really jealous if we pay attention to him. She’ll butt in and chase him off our laps and then decide she’s tired of us and go eat.

I swear, you're utterly useless. I'm reporting you to the SOHC.

If you pick her up, beware! She hates any confined space, and our old vet had a Caution note on her file because she was so hard to handle. When she jumps up on our bed to step all over us, she points her paws down so it hurts (she has no front claws so she has to get creative). She’s a smart, mean kitty but we love her…

Photo submitted by: Heather

Name: Lebron
Location: Tucson, AZ

And you wonder why I want to go outside…

What makes Lebron so mean?

Lebron is for sure a mean kitty. He is an inside-outside kitty. We have mixed feelings about this, but we desided to do this with him since he has a flair for peeing on our futon sofa. No matter how much time he is out, though, he comes inside to pee on the futon. We have to keep a plastic protector under the cover! LOL!

Gonna spell “Urophobia”–something I do not have–and take triple word score!

He also loves to perch on the table while my mother and I play scrabble. He waits until he has a chance, and he scoops up a scrabble tile for himself. He is a little stinker!

Also, he likes to pee in the bathroom sink. This morning, he did so when I was not looking, and then he “buried” it with the clean clothing I just put on the counter in preparation for getting ready for work. Evil!

Could you PLEASE put those nice warm clothes beside the sink so I can hide my scent from predators? Is that too much to ask?

He is a lovely, affectionate cat, but he cries and cries when he wants attention until he is payed his due. He is a true mean kitty!!!

Submitted by: Suzanne

Name: Leo (tabby) and Sammie (black)
Location: Georgia

Quick...let's share the cat tree peacefully for a minute so it ruins the picture she's trying to take for Meankitty!

What makes Leo and Sammie so mean?

From rescue cats to cat-divas! Leo and Sammie don’t like each other one bit and fight over who gets to be the “top cat” on the cat condo. Sammie in particular has had a rough life. He is a tripod and thinks he can use that to his advantage. He loves to bite my head and ears and bat at my nose at 4am because HE WANTS TO EAT. When they get the “midnight crazies” there is no stopping them. And at Christmas time, guess who tries to eat the little decorative tree? Leo! And of course he does it in the middle of the night.

Humans are so judgy! Artificial trees TASTE better as an after-midnight snack.

Submitted by: Rachel Kall (author at http://www.rachelkall.com/)

Name: Lilith
Location: Greenville, NC

To be honest, I shredded the dog for grins, not to protect the humans.

What makes Lilith so mean?

This mean kitty is named Lilith and she is the Queen of the house. She likes to sharpen her claws on the sofa arms and the leather recliner. Her favorite pastime is making biscuits on the soft bellies of her human subjects. While this sounds very sweet, she like to use her claws and leave marks to show us who’s the boss.

She protects us as well as ruling with an iron paw. She once shredded the nose of an overly curious dog that ran into her kingdom. No door is ever closed to this regent and no mousy toy is safe.

Submitted by: Deborah

Name: Libby
Location: Unknown

I have an advanced degree in stealth and hiding. That's why my location is unknown!

What makes Libby so mean?

Christmas 2005: My parents and I traveled to the local animal shelter in search of a new kitten for me. We had become a foster family to our neighbor’s kitten but we had to give the kitten back because she was a gift for our neighbor’s daughter. My parents had their hearts set on a different cat, but Libby reached out, grabbed my coat, and would not let me go. If I started to look at other cats she would meow very loud and begin to play with the toys they had inside her cage, trying to get me to look at her. I was instantly smitten.

We adopted her and she quickly created a new ranking system in our family. The four other cats, all males, are terrified of her! She strikes the fear of God into their hearts with just one look from those bright green eyes. Before they enter the room they each check all four corners and any other area she may hide in so they will not be caught off guard. They never look hard enough. They also have been subjected to other cruel attacks. They have been shoved down the stairs, pushed into the running shower, and when they try to defend themselves, it angers her even more and they get the crap beat out of them.

She is a very intelligent cat. Before she was a year old she had learned how to open and unlock doors. She was so clever we were forced to put a child-proof doorknob on some of the doors so she couldn’t get in. She throws temper tantrums if she does not get her way. If you tell her no, she will stare into your eyes and knock over something as if saying, “Take this!”

She also has a strong obsession with pens and pencils. She is always taking them away from me when I’m trying to do my homework

Submitted by: Caitlin

Name: Liam
Location: Ugly Bedspread

Well, Bob, it's like this. You can sleep on the couch, or I can slice up your face. Your choice.

What makes Liam so mean?

This is Liam. He came to live with us about a year ago, and is definitely one MEAN kitty. Please note the evil spider pattern between his ears. I am certain this is some type of mark of a mean kitty.

This is his favorite spot, which is where I sleep. He and I have been engaged in a struggle over this particular spot for the past year, and as you can see, he’s winning. He is a big cat, and has BIG claws. He never hesitates to use those claws to defend his space on the bed. He also likes to lay on his back and invite unsuspecting visitors to my house to rub his tummy, at which time he will shred them like confetti.

Submitted by: Bob

Name: Leo
Location: Pennsylvania

Don't know what all the "attention" fuss is about. I'm helping! Petting a cat reduces stress while refusing to pet a cat CAUSES stress.

What makes Leo so mean?

This is Leo, brother of our other Japanese Bobtail Zeus. Leo is huge, so making him mad is not a smart thing to do. He has gotten even bigger since this picture was taken. Leo’s favorite activity is napping and heaven help the person who disturbs his slumber; once those huge paws grab you, there is no getting loose.

Leo likes attention once in awhile and when he does, whoever he has chosen had better give it up or else. He will grab your arm with his paw the first time, add claws the second and bite the third time if you do not comply. It doesn’t matter what you are doing. His needs are much more important and he will yank your arm away from the keyboard or book you are reading. Any resistance to his demands can result in a bloody mess.

I do not know Leo’s current weight, but I can tell it is a lot! One of his favorite ways to wake you from sleep is to climb on the bed and stand on your chest with all his weight leaning on his front paws. You either wake up and give in or you will never breathe again.

Submitted by: Verleen

Names: Ex and Lilah
Location: Kansas

The dead cat trick works every time! Try it, SOHC friends!

What makes Ex and Lilah so mean?

Ex is mean, mean, mean. Especially if we expand the definition of “mean” to include “stinky” and “bizarre”. He loves to carry empty toilet paper rolls around the apartment, tearing them to tiny bits while howling when the mood strikes him. He also enjoys pulling rug pads out from under rugs and tearing them to bits too. He’s been working on one in particular for over ten years.

Hey, I want to chew up a rug pad with my big, blurry teeth!

He continues to collect small totems, like milk jug caps, plastic hanger protectors and the aforementioned rug pad bits to put in the people’s bed as a surprise. He likes hiding inside the comforter cover, which he knows makes the lady think he is dead and therefore freaks her out. His meanest trick is the oldie-but-goodie of peeing five inches away from the litter box. Every time.

Is that you, Kansas? Did I get the job?

The brains behind the operation, though, is his little sis Lilah, who really can be mean in the traditional sense, especially when you have petted, brushed or, oh, looked at her for a little too long. During the summer, she likes to meanly catch and hold cicadas in her mouth, thus achieving the elusive and very mean double cat-bug hum-growl-purr noise. Her picture shows her studying hard to find a way to achieve dominion over Kansas, as she is very bright and ambitious.

Submitted by: Chezna & Kyle

Name: Leela
Location: Florida

Does this look like the face of a kitty who'd do all those naughty things? Yeah? OK FINE!

What makes Leela so mean?

Leela is the latest kitty addition to our household. My husband snatched her from underneath the building where he works wjere several feral cats were living. Needless to say, not one of them was fixed. Leela was one of the litters that was birthed in April 2000.

Leela had an eye infection, and one eye was sort of shut, so we had to take her to the vet before we could bring her home. We didn’t have a name for her, but since we love “futurama”, we named our temporarily one eyed cat “Leela” after the show’s one eyed alien ship captain.

Anyway, Leela is *the* meankitty of the Royal household. She can sometimes be good, but most of the time she is very, very bad.

Some of Leela’s likes:

-toilet paper (she loves to grab it and run down the hallway, as it streams behind her)

-paper towels (she jumps on the kitchen counter and pulls them down; see toilet paper, above)

-jumping on the dining room table and leaving little litter particles everywhere. yum!

-jumping on mommy and in the bathroom sink while mom does her makeup and hair

-standing below the ice dispenser on the fridge, watching and waiting for falling objects

-her rhino beanie baby, which she plays fetch with

-any kind of fabric that hangs down, ex. curtains, sewing fabric, tablecloths, dishtowels

-running around on the top of the comforter, chasing after feet and hands, just as her mom and dad are trying to freaking sleep….

If you'd get out of the way, I've got some poopy litter between my paw pads I need to distribute on the table...

She can really be a little beast sometimes, because she’s got so much energy, and she’s so defiant. but we love her. I particularly love when she jumps on me right out of the shower…she rests her head on my shoulder and purrs, like she’s giving me a kitty hug *sigh*. Too bad she can’t be that way all the time!

Submitted by: Tricia Royal

Meankitty’s Note: Leela was one of the VERY FIRST KITTIES to ever be in Meankitty’s Gallery. YAY LEELA!