Posts Tagged ‘K’
Monday, May 12th, 2014
Treat her right or you'll end up hospitalized. You betcha.
What makes Kilborne so mean?
Kilborne was named after a street in my town. I call him “Killer” for short, and he’s about 8 years old now.
He has only bitten a few select people. Mostly he just stays in his own space lest he find you deserving enough to stroke him and scratch him behind the ears.
- A guy I was dating had to stay in the hospital for three days after receiving a bite. Maybe not the fella for me?
- My husband’s ex wife. (This was his very first female victim) Need I say more?
- My nephew who was much younger and quite the spaz (he still has scars on his arms).
Submitted by: Leah
Sunday, May 11th, 2014
Name: Kimba (2)
Location: Her Chair
When 2,000 human years old you are, look as good you will not! Unless you get mummified.
What makes Kimba (2) so mean?
This is Kimba. She is 20 (21 in December 2011) is evil. She has something against me for a reason unknown. She once held me hostage on my veranda and wouldn’t allow me back to the house until my mum picked her up. This, of course, resulted in her trying eat my mum’s arms.
Kimba attacks when you least expect it. When she is sleeping, she will sometimes opens her eyes and glare at you from ‘her’ chair, yes ‘her’ chair. Whatever you do, if she is on ‘her’ chair, don’t sit on it unless you want your head clawed. She might look cute, but she is not an angel at all.
Lastly, if you give her dinner and breakfast without cream, she will stare at you and hiss and growl until you give her what she wants.
Submitted by: Jess
Saturday, May 10th, 2014
The red on my head is human blood. Doesn't it look striking against my white fur?
What makes Kimba so mean?
Kimba is a mean kitty because he likes to randomly attack people who wander in his area of the house. After getting declawed, he has decided that teeth are all you really need anyway and claws would just be overkill.
Note: Meankitty and her slave do not advocate the declawing of cats, so don’t bother to send us whiny hate mail–either pro OR con–or we’ll probably mock you on the advice page.
Submitted by: Joanne
Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
Name: Bandit & Kitters
Location: Elkhart, IN
Can't have a social life with stupid humans around. Play with the dog, don't consort with strays...sheesh!
What makes B & K so mean?
Bandit is the Snowshoe Siamese and Kitters is the black & white cat. What makes them so mean…..Laddy Dog. Laddy loves to play with the kitties. Bandit doesn’t like Laddy, and Kitters, like most cats, wants to play on his own time.
Kitters will attack anything that moves under a blanket, not to mention Crouching Tiger under the bed. He hides under the bed and attacks any and all unsuspecting feet and legs.
Bandit is usually a lover, except for when she’s in heat and sneaks outdoors. One time while in heat she snuck out and hid in the bushes with two boyz. When I tried to get her she growled like a ferocious jungle cat. She would like to have bit my fingers off, so she got sprayed with the garden hose. And that’s what makes my kitties so mean!
Photo submitted by: Pam
Saturday, September 28th, 2013
Quick, tell me....do you see any gerbil left in my teeth?
What makes Kali so mean?
This is Kali. She’s the meanest of my three kitties by a mile, and she’s only 4 months old! Her poor mum and sister need to sleep with one eye open, because if they so much as twitch, Kali will pounce claws first. It’s not only her immediate family who suffer from her rage. I’ve lost count of the number of times she’s woken me up in the morning by sinking her claws as far as she can into some sensitive part of my body (usually the soles of my feet). She also likes playing football with spiders and woodlice, and my gerbil and fish live in constant fear of their lives.
But her meanest trait by far is her refusal to be litter trained. She lulls me into a false sense of security by making a big show of how she uses her litter box for a week or so, then I’ll go out for an hour and come home to find stinky little presents all over the house and Kali laughing maniacally from her perch on top of the gerbil cage!
Photo submitted by: Anon
Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Name: Killer Kitten
The secret to silky fur...human pain!
What makes Kitten so mean?
Kitten lives on a diet of the cheapest on-sale dry food plus anything she can kill. She has a beautiful coat — she’s getting the nutrition from somewhere. I can pick her up and put her on my shoulder, where she can walk around. My girlfriend can actually hold her for five, maybe ten seconds. My GF’s roommate saw us with Kitten and tried to pick up “the nice kitty” and got four sets of claws as well as teeth. To the face. Many stitches.
Kitten will lurk in wait of your passing by, and then nail you with her claws. For fun.
She is truly eeeeevil.
Photo submitted by: Kirk
Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
Name: KillKill (pronounced KiKi)
Location: Tucson, AZ
KillKill mode engaged.
What makes KillKill so mean?
My cat-mistress is named KillKill, the l’s are silent but implied, so we call her “KiKi”. KillKill is the most terrifying cat at times, but since she has multiple-personality disorder, she can at times be nice. I have scars all over my arms from not knowing if I am picking up “kiki” or “kill kill”. I had to take her on a 1200 mile road trip because she tried to attack the person I had cat-sitting on my last vacation.
On the way back from Wyoming, (believe me, there are stories there also), my daughter, my mom and I stopped at the first Navajo roadside seller in Arizona. Now, keep in mind that the first roadside seller is charging the most expensive prices on their jewelry and pottery. Also keep in mind that it is rare to take a cat on a road trip. Finally, keep in mind that Navajos are very wary of “witches”.
Why did you lock me away from the roadside sellers? They deserved my wrath!
I took KiKi (she was behaving) out of the car, as it was over 100 degrees and couldn’t leave her in. She sat dociley in my arms. I looked at jewelry. Navajo girl asked to pet her, I let her, the cat’s paws firmly in my grip. Toward the end of the four tables set out, I could sense that KiKi was turning into KillKill…the growling indicates this. There was a tourist on the other end with his daughter who was in a wheelchair. The little girl asked to pet my cat.
“Sure,” I replied, mentally telling my cat DO NOT SCRATCH THE HANDICAPPED GIRL. All went well. Until the first girl wanted to pet her again (what, am I carrying around a furry Blarney stone?). KiKi cried “NO SECONDS”, and all four paws came straight out. All claws pointed into the air. Each paw started whirling on its on. I was carrying a transformer/robot/killing machine/cat, dripping blood from my arms, straight back to the car. The Navajo girl and her mom were looking on with fear. Yep. That’s my familiar. I’m a witch. Ugh.
But that’s what they get for charging too much.
Submitted by: Lizz
[[Meankitty's note: Just to clear up a little misconception about witches/familiars, the felines in any of these relationships are actually the more powerful magic users while the humans are clearly the 'familiars'! If the human has a different animal, all bets are off.]]
Saturday, March 9th, 2013
You'd climb walls too if they had red wallpaper on them. Redecoration Kitty!
What makes Kukl so mean?
She climbs walls and bites the hands that feed her.
Photo submitted by: Myles
Friday, December 28th, 2012
That wasn’t psychosis, that was the hazing I had to inflict to become a member of SOHC. Silly humans.
What makes Kitty so mean?
Kitty (simple name) has truly shown an evil streak in the past but has since been exorcised…although at times he does give a look that brings back memories…
Memories of standing on top of furniture (four grown men trying to avoid claws) on Christmas morning when Kitty mentally skipped a groove and went ballistic, which worked the other 2 cats and all 4 men in the room into a frenzy of wrapping paper, falling furniture and debris. Finally we used thick oven mitts to grab him and lock him in the bedroom for a timeout. He was out of the bedroom by the afternoon but growling and hissing for another couple of days, keeping everyone (cats and humans) sleeping with one eye open for about a week. True feline psychosis!
Photo submitted by: Buck
Tuesday, December 25th, 2012
Location: Baton Rouge
What’s this ‘not for me’ present crap? If it’s wrapped, it’s for me. I don’t care what’s inside, I just like the paper and ribbon!
What makes Kiwi so mean?
Just wanted to share with you my meankitties, especially Kiwi. He and Ruby have even been kicked out of their grandma’s house for their nighttime hijinks.
Kiwi was six weeks old when I got him. He was given to me in college by a friend who swore he was female. Two weeks later, we notice a little mass down below. SURPRISE! A few weeks later, he started spraying on my roommate’s clothes when I would leave. Now he’s fat and lazy by day, terror at night!
When he’s not on the bed — which may be a combined 78 minutes per day — he’s eating, trying to eat food as you are cooking, and waiting for a litter box clean-up so he can use one of his five stomachs to stink it up again. He doesn’t know how to cover his tracks either, if you know what I mean. He loves to knock on blinds in the middle of the night, since so much action seems to be going on in an apartment complex at 3 a.m. He also likes to open Christmas presents that are not for him.
Photo submitted by: Emily