Posts Tagged ‘H’

Gallery: Harriet

Saturday, January 11th, 2014

Name: Harriet
Location: A Bookstore

Harriet is a meankitty

I'm the Joan Rivers of the bookstore fashion world, and my pet peeve (ha ha, get it? pet?) is big legged pants.

What makes Harriet so mean?

Harriet is a mean cat who works in a bookstore. Well, she doesn’t actually do any work but she runs up huge vet bills and scares customers away. Harriet came from a shelter, where she acted scared and needy in order to get some sucker to take her home. She was about 18 months old and declawed. She was chosen by me (what a fool I was) along with a 3 month old kitten to be put to work catching mice. Did she tell me that she was declawed when I agreed to take her? No, of course not. She won’t even go after a cockroach, never mind a mouse.

The declawing by her original slave(s) turned Harriet mean. The extremely well done acting job she was doing at the shelter quickly faded after she settled in. She made sure that everyone knew she might not have claws, but she had teeth and she was not afraid to use them. It started out with her biting her human co-workers if they annoyed her. Then she moved on to unprovoked attacks (“Your pants legs were too swishy, and I HAD to stop them”) and finally began sampling the customers.

Harriet has refined her attacks. She will now choose her prey, walk over and fling herself down on the floor, rolling onto her back. The prey, dazzled by the patterns in her belly fur, will then stoop down to pet it. That’s when she grabs a wrist in her soft, but strong, paws and sinks her teeth in. Sometimes if the prey seems especially strong, she might follow it around for a bit making chirping noises, to weaken the prey’s defenses. When she senses an especially weak victim, or if she’s just in a bad mood, she won’t wait for them to bend down. Instead she’ll just wrap her paws around an ankle and sink her teeth in.

Harriet says that if you come into her bookstore, your pants had better not be too baggy, too swishy, bell bottoms, have strings dangling on them or be bunched up at the bottom. Your shoes must not have ridiculous Frankenstein soles that are 5″ high. If you dare to come in wearing anything described above, better make sure you have armor on under your lame pants. Harriet will take you out.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth