Posts Tagged ‘H’

Gallery: Hannah

Monday, March 6th, 2017

Name: Hannah
Location: Houston, TX

Hannah the mean

No point in doing it in your sleep....I'll wait until you're awake and vulnerable, so I can enjoy it!

What makes Hannah so mean?

This is my in-laws’ cat Hannah. She was found abandoned by my mother in law a couple of years ago. Even though she grew up their house, she is still a ferocious, wild cat. The only two people who can touch her are my in-laws. One time she rubbed up against my wife, only because the cat thought she was my mother-in-law. The next visit, my wife tried to pet her only to be hissed at and scratched.

When I stare at her, she gives me this evil look like she plans to kill me in my sleep.

Photo submitted by: Jason

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Gallery: Harry

Thursday, March 2nd, 2017

Name: Harry
Location: Melbourne, AU

Harry

Nothing can get free from my giant Teddy Bear paws! Least of all a small, tasty inanimate object.

Meet Harry. Harry is a Norwegian Forest cat who is more civilised than Marley, who also lives with us.

Harry is naughty because he
-likes to go to sleep by using your finger as a dummy and pinching it between his small teeth–not his fangs–this hurts and he likes to do this for half an hour at a time!!
-holds your arm with his huge “teddy bear” paws when he wants a cuddle!!
-is a garbage guts
-his walk is like a stately progress and he can take ages to come inside!!
-who gives naughty Marley as good as he gets!!!

Photos submitted by: Jemima and Veronica

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Gallery: Haley

Thursday, January 14th, 2016

Name: Haley
Location: Houston, TX

Haley in a bag

Come on, take me shopping with you!

What makes Haley so mean?

This is Haley, our demon spawn. We got her from a neighbor whose cat is a breeding machine. Ever since she figured out she could get out of her basket, she has come to love me — as her chew toy. When I open the door after a shower, she’s waiting to ambush my foot. When I go to bed, I feel something crawling under the covers, then I feel little pricks on my legs and feet.

Haley eats a foot

If you won't carry me in the bag, I'll have to embed myself in your foot.

Also, when I’m lying on the couch and Haley usually decides she wants to sit on the front window sill. My stomach makes a great springboard.

Photo submitted by: Jason

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Gallery: Honey

Saturday, November 21st, 2015

Name: Honey
Location: West Yorkshire, England,
where he starred in A Rather Small Werewolf in Yorkshire

Honey isn't a honey

I am NOT constantly annoyed. I'm quite mellow when there's no humans there to see it.

What makes Honey so mean?

Don’t let the name ‘Honey’ deceive you into thinking he’s all sweet and innocent. Honey’s a 5 year old ginger tom that we bought from our local pet shop. He’s constantly annoyed with everyone and anything. He’s attacked the milk man, he’s chased a Great Dane away, he’s bit anyone who’s shadow was unfortunate enough to go near him.

Honey Wolf

This shot is me doing my awesome Lon Chaney impression. You like?

But, apart from his flaws, he can be quite ‘sweet’ every blue moon and I wouldn’t change him for the world.

Photo submitted by: Saara

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Gallery: Hunter

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

Name: Hunter
Location: Unknown

Hunter bites feed

I'm NOT ready for my close-up.

What makes Hunter so mean?

Hunter is a mean kitty because he lives up to his name. His prey? Human feet. I also live up to the slave part. I believe the only reason I haven’t been killed in my sleep is because he hasn’t learn to drive a car yet.

Other than the fact that I can drive to the grocery store to get chow Hunter finds me completely useless. This picture was taken after I had been taking pictures of him all day and like any celebrity, which he knows he is, Hunter had grown tried of the paparazzi and attacked.

Photo submitted by: Tamarra

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Gallery: Harriet

Saturday, January 11th, 2014

Name: Harriet
Location: A Bookstore

Harriet is a meankitty

I'm the Joan Rivers of the bookstore fashion world, and my pet peeve (ha ha, get it? pet?) is big legged pants.

What makes Harriet so mean?

Harriet is a mean cat who works in a bookstore. Well, she doesn’t actually do any work but she runs up huge vet bills and scares customers away. Harriet came from a shelter, where she acted scared and needy in order to get some sucker to take her home. She was about 18 months old and declawed. She was chosen by me (what a fool I was) along with a 3 month old kitten to be put to work catching mice. Did she tell me that she was declawed when I agreed to take her? No, of course not. She won’t even go after a cockroach, never mind a mouse.

The declawing by her original slave(s) turned Harriet mean. The extremely well done acting job she was doing at the shelter quickly faded after she settled in. She made sure that everyone knew she might not have claws, but she had teeth and she was not afraid to use them. It started out with her biting her human co-workers if they annoyed her. Then she moved on to unprovoked attacks (“Your pants legs were too swishy, and I HAD to stop them”) and finally began sampling the customers.

Harriet has refined her attacks. She will now choose her prey, walk over and fling herself down on the floor, rolling onto her back. The prey, dazzled by the patterns in her belly fur, will then stoop down to pet it. That’s when she grabs a wrist in her soft, but strong, paws and sinks her teeth in. Sometimes if the prey seems especially strong, she might follow it around for a bit making chirping noises, to weaken the prey’s defenses. When she senses an especially weak victim, or if she’s just in a bad mood, she won’t wait for them to bend down. Instead she’ll just wrap her paws around an ankle and sink her teeth in.

Harriet says that if you come into her bookstore, your pants had better not be too baggy, too swishy, bell bottoms, have strings dangling on them or be bunched up at the bottom. Your shoes must not have ridiculous Frankenstein soles that are 5″ high. If you dare to come in wearing anything described above, better make sure you have armor on under your lame pants. Harriet will take you out.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

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Gallery: Hammy

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Name: Hammy
Location: Your Nightmares

Hammy the attack cat

I'm mad...and I'm bad...

What makes Hammy so mean?

Hammy is my earless cat. He has nearly killed a schnauzer dog named Jorge that made the mistake of visiting the house. Hammy bludgeoned Jorge into my fireplace and ripped the dog’s nose a long open wound that connected to his mouth. There are still blood stains on my ceiling from that beating. I had to mop up all of the blood and wring out the mop repeatedly. Jorge’s owner Blackie also received deep gashes to his arms and hands and face in his futile attempt to save his dog.

Hammy is a meankitty

...and I'm dangerous to know.

Hammy has also put a human that we live with named Claire in the hospital after she dared bringing home a stray cat, foolish woman. Hammy has also dominated fights with raccoons, skunks, and a large sheepdog will never, EVER, set foot in our yard again.

Photo submitted by: Keith

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Gallery: Harrison Fjord

Monday, December 30th, 2013

Name: Harrison Fjord
Location: Minnesota

Harrison Fjord the Meankitty

I'm not young anymore, ya whippersnapper. I need my fiber.

What makes Harrison so mean?

He’s got it in for newsprint in the worst way. He doesn’t play with mice. He doesn’t scratch the couch. He pretty much leaves books and magazines alone. But if he gets anywhere near a newspaper, Harrison Fjord goes mad for the ripping.

Here is a recent photo of Harrison in action. I like to think he was showing his American Pride in a feline way by ripping up an article about the terrorist attacks of September 2001. Only I think that’s the help wanted section. Either way he sure made a mess!

Photos submitted by: Gretchen
Note: This was one of the earlier cats submitted to the Meankitty Gallery, close to 9/11.

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Gallery: Hank the Stank

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

Name: Hank
Location: Columbus, OH

Hank stanks

Head wounds bleed more, haven’t you heard? I get extra SOHC points for that.

What makes Hank so mean?

Hank the Stank (so named because he refuses to clean any of his nasty bits, I think out of principal or because he knows he smells and it bothers me) is a cat who likes to bite…your scalp and face! What started out as a cute trick (ohhh how cute, watch the kitten jump) when he was a baby has become not so funny now that he’s 10 pounds and has learned to do it “as a surprise”. Last week, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and out of nowhere, the Stank jumped onto my face and bit/scratched the TOP OF MY HEAD! I mean it bled and everything. Another cute trick he picked up (I think from hanging out with the dog too much) is when he bites, he doesn’t gnaw like most cats do. He bites down hard until he knows his teeth are hooked in and then SHAKES HIS HEAD AND PULLS (think pit-bull). Imagine how great 4 sets of claws and a pulling, shaking bite feels on top of your head.

Hank chewed up my only good pair of glasses (both lenses) and now he refuses to pay for them. I think lawyers may be involved sooner or later (or we’ll settle out of court–he’ll bite me on the face again and I’ll stop talking about it). God help anybody that tries to bathe him or clip his nails without chain mail, eye protection, and a helmet.

Photo submitted by: Mandy

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Gallery: Holly Beast

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Name: Holly Beast
Location: Georgia

Holly is a meankitty

You know, this “random” attack thing is misunderstood. They aren’t random. They are strategically timed to engender the greatest amount of servile obedience. But you know humans — half blind and their noses barely work to boot.

What makes Holly so mean?

We got Holly in December of 2002. She was so named because of the Christmas season. We took to calling her Holly Berry because she was so sweet and cute. She’s still a pretty cat and she can be sweet, IF she wants to be! Why is she a mean kitty?

1. Although she lives in a household of 4 cats, she thinks she should be THE cat. She randomly attacks her brother and sisters. She used to love her brother Chip, two months younger. I have pictures of them cuddled and sleeping. Now she hates his guts and hisses every time she sees him or if he sniffs her (she, of course, reserves the right to sniff his behind whenever she wants!).

2. She thinks she is the queen of my bed and will chase the other cats off.

3. She is a foodie and her figure shows it. (One of her nicknames is Short Round.) She comes running when she hears the pop of a cat food can lid and pushes the other cats away from the dish. She may have already eaten, but that doesn’t matter. Holly comes first!

4. She has to be the center of attention. She sits on my paper when I try to work the crossword puzzle. When I am at the computer, she stands in front of the screen or sits on top of my hand and the mouse pad to keep me from working. ACK! Here she is now! When I am doing my paper crafts, she sits on my supplies, even though I have given her a canvas tote bag in her own corner of the table. If you try to move her from any of these spots, she doesn’t just bite you, she GNAWS on your arm.

5. If I don’t move fast enough to do what she wants, she yells at me. It sounds an awful lot like cursing.

This is why she is now called Holly Beast, or just Beast, instead of Holly Berry.

Submitted by: Beth

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