Posts Tagged ‘G’

Gallery: Godfather Max

Thursday, May 1st, 2014

Name: Max
Location: Merrimack, NH

Godfather Max is a meankitty.

No, seriously. WERE you talking to me?

What makes Max so mean?

I have one mean cat named Max a.k.a. the Godfather. He has been a mean s.o.b. ever since he was a kitten. He leaves horse’s heads in our bed. Ok, not horse’s heads, but rodent heads. And he threatens to whack the other cats if they step out of line. Here he is at one of his scarier moments.

Submitted by: Sandy


Gallery: Gabba

Tuesday, March 25th, 2014

Name: Gabba
Location: Kaloomps, BC Canada

Gabba was a meankitty

You can call me can call me can call me slouchy...just don't call me fat! Or else.

What makes Gabba so mean?

Gabba wasn’t really a “mean kitty”, but she didn’t have either any trouble or hesitations of voicing her discomfort(s)/dislike(s) of people, places or things. From what I have heard calicos are just a wee bit tempermental. Her life before me granted her that right. Her former owner was a druggie and mistreated her in several ways Meankitty is opting not to share with delicate, underage viewers whose parents might get ticked off if we printed stuff like that. (!!) (And doesn’t that sound more ominous and dire than the real thing? Seriously. It’s all about the power of the imagination.) That sort of life style for people is hard enough, but to bring a cat(s) into must be equally as hard on the animal.

Once we crossed paths, I became her human. She had no trouble now being a fat and lazy cat. Most people called her “fat cat” when they first would see her, but I would put an end to it right there. Thought it was funny that people can say such things about an animal without giving it a second thought, but heaven forbid if I were to walk up to someone say, “You’re fat.” That would be considered very offensive. She seem to take all in stride, or just didn’t care.

She loved sitting on the couch, thus erned the the nickname “couch slouch” (darn good song by D.R.I.). Speaking of punk music she seemed to care little, or dare I say might even of liked some of the noise that blasted from my record player; just maybe she learned to put up with it. Her favorite toy was string on a stick, which taught me about the simple things in life. (Meankitty’s note: so would the 3 chords in a lot of punk rock *wink*) Feed her three times a day, play with her a bit, let her have her place on the couch and a snuggle before lights out, or while I read in bed, and she was extremly content with life.

When I did find her, she was already an old cat with some health issues. They slowly got worse, even more of them. After five great years of having her in my life, I lost her. Given her hard life, that was the “classy” way to let go.

The guy with charged hair and sun glasses in her picture is whom she is named after: Gabba from Chaos UK.

Submitted by: Chuckie Hardcore

RIP Mean Gabba!


Gallery: Gandalf

Friday, September 20th, 2013

Name: Gandalf
Location: Singapore

Gandalf the meankitty

Ahhhh, perfect. A stationary victim!

What makes Gandalf so mean?

We got Gandalf from the SPCA. He likes to rest on my bedridden dad’s bed. He doesn’t like being picked up, and he’s real smart. He’ll go limp if you attempt to pick him up, and it’s more difficult to pick him up in that state. At other times, when you pick him up, he goes, “Meow???” and complains, then struggles out if you hold him too long, scratching you the the process.

If he’s doing something he’s not supposed to do, such as eating paper or my mom’s work, chewing wires, attempting to pull down my dad’s spare breathing tubes, or balancing on the windowsill of our 17th story apartment, drinking toilet bowl water and scratching the furniture, we tell him “NO!” and spray him with water. He’ll run away, then attempt to do it again. It’s not that he doesn’t know it’s wrong, but he likes to aggravate us, just like how he likes to parade himself in front of dogs who are unable to do anything except bark behind a wall of glass at the vet. Some dogs are even afraid of Gandalf, though they’re bigger than him.

Photo submitted by: Kevin


Gallery: Gypsy

Friday, August 23rd, 2013

Name: Gypsy
Location: Pacific NW

Gypsy the Meankitty

I can kill with my breath…it’s my mutant kitty secret weapon!

What makes Gypsy so mean?

The queen of mean in my house is Gypsy. I used to have a sweet little kitten. I don’t know what happened?!

She scratches: people, my other animals, the furniture. She bites the hand that feeds her. She’s EXTREMELY picky with her food; it has to be a certain brand and a certain flavour, which changes. When she’s had enough of one kind, she angrily tries to cover it up, with her ears back, giving me the stink eye. So I have to look for another kind she likes, which is not easy.

Even when she’s in a loving mood, it’s unpleasant. She perches on our shoulders whether we like it or not, and always when it’s inconvenient. Her breath is atrocious, and she drools. If she ever wanted to maim someone, she could just bite you, lick the wound, which would eventually become horribly infected, causing you to develop gangrene.

Sure, I’ve taken her to the vet, had her teeth cleaned and for a check-up. But there’s apparently nothing wrong and her breath is still noxious. If you pick her up to cuddle with her, or pay some attention to her, she allows it for 30 seconds then starts to get uppity.

She has terrible mood swings. One second she’ll be nicely cleaning the face of another cat, next second she’ll slap them across the face. If they flinch they’ll get another slap. Our dogs are the referees of cat fights. She runs from them, but always plots revenge. So they’ll be bound to get theirs when they least expect it.

Photo submitted by: Thora


Gallery: Gus and Chloe

Tuesday, June 25th, 2013

Name: Gus and Chloe, Chloe and Gus
Location: Unknown

Chloe and Gus are meankitties

We have to meet our weekly stampeding goals so we can remain members of the SOHC.

What makes Chloe & Gus so mean?

These two evil beings go by the names Gus and Chloe.

Chloe’s pastimes include:

licking, biting, kicking, knocking things over (especially if they are filled with liquid), drinking out of vessels NOT intended for cats, hanging off of the screen door, scratching, shredding furniture, staring, purring, and sleeping in this cozy little basket with her favorite purple blankie.

Gus is fond of:

standing in front of my monitor while I’m trying to work, eating things off of the counter, stealing socks, digging in plants, defecating in neighbors’ gardens, taking up 60% of the surface area of the bed, waking me up at 4am for no reason whatsoever, crunchy little plastic pieces, pooping in his litter box while his mom is cleaning it, begging for yogurt and sniffing things.

Gus and Chloe are fans of stampeding; it seems to be most enjoyable between the hours of 2am-5am. The goal is to run across a bed filled with sleeping humans, preferably across the facial area and preferably with claws OUT.

Submitted by: Dana


Gallery: George

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012

Name: George the Cat
Location: Bored

George is a meankitty

I am bored with your silliness. Scram.

What makes George so mean?

My name is George and I shoot lasers out of my eyes. I have tricked my slaves into thinking that I am not a mean kitty, but they are fools! In the past I used to enjoy peeing on everything in sight. I have grown bored of such silliness, and now I poop on the spare bed for kicks. My brother Chairman Meow and I are big fans of random destruction. Our favourite game is to knock food from the kitchen counter onto the floor so that the family dog will gobble it down and then throw it up. We are such clever cats.

Submitted by: Chris


Gallery: Big Ginge

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Name: Big Ginge
Location: Grey Lynn, New Zealand

Big Ginge is a meankitty

Who you callin’ stray, PUNK?

What makes Big Ginge so mean?

Big Ginge is my local neighborhood stray. He is huge, with shoulders like a lion and a broad head like a hippo. This photo does not do his size justice! He is covered in scars and injuries and is in a constant state of anger and pain. He has ruled my street with an iron claw for the last 10 years.

Like all monsters, he is very polite when he wants to be and will wait quietly to be fed. But many of my neighbors hate him and blame him for the disappearance or suspicious deaths of their own cats.

Big Ginge is a meankitty

I’ll see your blame and raise you a lot of dead birds.

Meankitty says: Big Ginge shouldn’t be a stray. Big Ginge should be Tom’s cat and Tom should be his slave. Come on, Tom, get a kitty clue!

UPDATE Early 2008: This week Big Ginge passed away, aged 20 something. Not bad for a ‘stray’. He was a terror of the highest order, but was a sensational cat and will be greatly missed by a whole neighborhood.

Submitted by: Tom


Gallery: Gracie

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

Name: Gracie
Location: Unknown

Gracie is a meankitty

You silly human. You only have dibs when I say you have dibs.

What makes Gracie so mean?

What makes my cat Gracie mean? Well, there’s the usual catly things like tracking litter all over the carpet (I understand some of that is unavoidable, but do you HAVE to jump out of the box, sprint to my bed, and then paw at the sheets?). And who can forget “I need to search inside this closet NOW! I don’t care that it’s 4am! Open the door!” But those are pretty typical.

The things she does that I KNOW are intentional and in poor spirit are sleeping on the keyboard (and biting me if I try to move her–hey, I make a living on that machine, I have dibs!) and preferring any glass of water I have to her freshly cleaned, just filled water bowl. No matter how tantalizing I try to make it. I can’t drink out of the cup beside my bed when I wake up in the morning, because I KNOW she’s been getting kitty drool in it all night.

Gracie drinks mean water

Here's the joke. I'm not actually drinking anything, just spoofing off hairs.

She knows right where the edge is, and she really likes to keep me hovering there, without quite pushing me over. Mean kitty!

Submitted by: Colin


Gallery: Gracie (2)

Monday, May 28th, 2012

Name: Gracie (2) aka Maw Maw
Location: Wisconsin

Gracie is a meankitty

I don't answer to "Maw Maw", and I don't know why they keep saying it.

What makes Gracie so mean?

We have a cat named Gracie Paula (aka Maw Maw). Yes, the cat has a middle name. Gracie was an accident. About 8 years ago, my mom was working as a social worker/case worker with families, and she visited one home where this very cute little striped kitten was being abused by a 3 year old boy. The boy would throw the kitty against the wall, flush her down the toilet, lock her in drawers for hours. My mom decided she had to rescue “Kitty.”

We already had 2 cats at home and a dog, and my dad said that if my mother brought another cat home, we would have to name the cat “Ted left.”

Gracie is a very mean kitty

From this angle, the bite marks on your face don't look so bad.

Gracie soon grew into a very large cat. She terrorized our poor sweet cat. She loved the dog. The dog was, without a doubt, Gracie’s favorite person. She slept on the dog’s bed. She drank from the dog’s water. She went outside in the morning with the dog. She yowled when the dog passed away.

Gracie’s nicknames now include: Maw Maw, Big Rig, Junebug, Marge and Fat Cat.

Why is Gracie mean? She plots revenge. We can see her eyes change from green to orange, and we know she is thinking, “I’ll get you, my pretty”. She comes and lays on a lap and slaps her tail, like some sort of gladiator challenging us to take the bait. And oh, does this cat love to bite. She hisses at me when I pass her in the hallway. We now own a very long duster (the kind with a wooden rod and a bit fluff at the end) I have labeled “the Gracie stick”. I use it to remove her from the table, when she refuses to get down.

Gracie cannot be stopped.

Take your Gracie stick a shove it! You can reach me up here.

Gracie can be found on Facebook, under the name Gracie Maw Maw Paula. She has a few friends but doesn’t care for any of them. The interests and hobbies listed are real. She bit me many times while I was helping her create the page.

Submitted by: Sadie (in fear of her life)


Gallery: Ghost (2)

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Name: Ghost (2)
Location: Casper, WY (No joke!)


What am I supposed to do when they put in a bird vending machine on the back porch? Ignore it?

What makes Ghost so mean?

Do not let his cute expression fool you. He is truly a meankitty! Why? Various reasons.

1. He beats up on poor Ollie, a nervous orange cat that came to us before Ghost. Ghost used to try and snuggle with Ollie. Ollie would hiss and not let Ghost near him. Pay back time! He now runs Ollie off his favorite sleeping place just for fun. I swear I can hear him laughing, an evil little laugh it is too.

2. He hogs all the canned food. I feed him first and he gets the lion’s share. He eats really fast and then runs the bigger cats off of the food they haven’t finished. Even if he has food left, he runs over eats the other cats’ food, then goes back to his.

3. Super bird killer. One day before leaving for work he came in the house with a small dead bird. I took it away., 5 minutes later he comes in with a live robin, a full grown one. Got that away too. Right before I leave, here he comes with another dead one. All this in the space of about 20 minutes. I come home for lunch and there are bird feathers every where and what my husband described as a “shredded bird, nothing left but some feathers and guts.”

4. He is trying to kill us. His nickname is Trip, because he will walk right in front of you or sit beside your feet so you will trip over him. Hence: Trip for a nickname. He also goes by CatPig, Ghostie Post Toastie, and Bird Death.

5. For breakfast he wakes you up by shoving his face in yours and breathing on you. He will purr extra loud like he really loves you. Then when you get up, he’ll snag you with a claw. So, if you see a cute little guy that was dumped at your house with another nicer cat, keep the nicer one, the cute shy one is pure cat evil.

PS: Lives with Baggy.

ETA, from the humans: “Ghostie had to be euthanized on 12/15/11. Alas, he was not as mean as inoperable cancer in the corner of his right eye. Knowing Ghostie would not want to live with half a face he went over the bridge. We miss you Ghost! 🙁 Even the other cats seem to miss him.”

Photo submitted by: Sue & Ollie