Posts Tagged ‘fur’

Advice: Burr Butt

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

Dear Meankitty:

My stupid fleabag, I mean my adorable kitty, loves to run around in our field and get hitch-hikers (prickly little balls that stick real easily to kitty hair). Anyway Rita (her name) is not to fun to pet. It feels really unpleasant, but she loves to be petted. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pet her, either from her helpless, cuteness or her persuasive, forceful claws. Hitch-hikers are NOT fun to clean off but I want what is best for her (mostly cause I’m her slave). PLEASE!! Give me some advice on what to do about hitch-hikers.

Signed,
Slave to Rita

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Dear Slave,

Meankitty says:
Shave and a haircut…two bits!

That Meankitty!

Sincerely,
Meankitty’s Typing Slave

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Advice: Fur Butt

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

Every time we lay our yard mats or cushions out, the cat gets on them and sprawls all over them. Since she is truly a meankitty, we don’t dare force her off, so we end up sitting on a pile of cat fur. What shall we do about the mess she has caused?

Signed,
Fur Butt

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Dear Butt,

There are several steps you can take to defurr your most important asset, if you get my drift, without upsetting the most important member of your household — the cat. One, flip the cushions over before you sit on them so that they have a people side and a cat side. Two, toss a towel over the fur-coated cushion. Three, change pants.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Naked Kitty

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

My cat likes to pull all the hair from his bottom. This exposes parts of my cat that might offend my visiting friends and neighbors.  What should I do?

Signed,
Naked in Norris

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Dear Naked,

Underpants!

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Cat Thrones

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I am going to make my kitty a proper throne (cat bed) because my own bed is not worthy. What do you think is the best fabric to make it from? Should it be velvet of faux fur? Or something even better?

Rao,
Crafty Slave

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Dear Crafty,

It all depends. What color is your cat? Choose a contrasting fabric so the hair will show up better. Fuzzy fabrics are also greatly appreciated, like the fuzzy blanket D likes to, um, “embrace” whenever he can’t get his paws on me. Yeah, I know, he’s supposed to be fixed, but I’m so sleek and cute I think I reinvigorate the most snipped of toms. At least, that’s been my experience. But back to this throne. Contrasting fuzzy fabric. Right.

Also, if you’re making a kitty throne because you want the kitty off your bed, it won’t work. Beds is beds.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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