Posts Tagged ‘food’

Advice: Kitty Hog

Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

Dear Meankitty,

I have 3 cats all under 1 year. One of them (Orion) loves to eat anything and everything and often eats more than his fair share of food. As a result he is getting heavy. We have all of them on Iams light food but that does little to help when he eats the most of the 3. How can we help slim him down without punishing the others or him on the process?

Sincerely,
Fred

***

Dear Fred,

Considering the massive size of our cat D and the fact that our situation is much the same, right down to the brand of cat food, we don’t know what to tell you. Perhaps getting a watergun and chasing Orion all over the house all the time to increase his exercise quotient would help.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Cairo

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Name: Cairo
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)

Cairo the Meankitty

I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!

What makes Cairo so mean?

Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.

The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.

Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.

Cairo the Meankitty

I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.

Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!

Photo submitted by: Jennifer

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Advice: Hoggy Cat

Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Dear Meankitty,

Jojo is mean to Hoho and eats all of his food. I am worried that Hoho isn’t getting the proper nutrition. Should I shut Jojo in a room whenever I feed Hoho?

Signed,
Eat No Fat and Eat No Lean

***

Dear Eats,

Yes.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Cat Boxing

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Dear Meankitty,

The two felines that I serve area always boxing. Especially at breakfast, while I am bringing my ladies their victuals. The Meaner of the pair, Kitty Baby, always swats and boxes the ears of the other, Bon Bon. This will go on for a few minutes, even though they dine on separate counter tops, and from different china plates. Once this boxing match is over, they retire to their respectful corners and dine. Why do they do this?

Signed,
The Ref

***

Dear Ref,

Some cats believe in a good workout before their meal. Nothing enhances the flavor of food like a dash of hunger. And maybe the food you serve them is so horrible tasting they get in a, “No, you eat it!” contest until they realize they both have to eat it or starve. Try some tuna!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: When To Feed

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Dear Meankitty,

Kirby is a 1 year old neutered male. He lures me to his food dish where he purrs like a maniac and loves me to pet him while he eats (only me). Yet, when I pet him, he becomes aggressive and will start to bite. He bites my ankles, my wrists, my arms or wherever he can sink his teeth. If he wants me at his food dish, and I cannot go, he will start to chase me until I do. He wants his way and he wants it now, doesn’t matter if I’m trying to get ready for work or if I will be late. Any advice?

Signed,
Ksandrini

***

Dear Ksandrini,

Hurry up and feed that poor, starving cat! Ha!

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Can Cats Eat Tuna?

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

Is it healthy for cats to eat tuna with plain Cream of Wheat or plain rice with tuna? My Vet says yes as long as it’s not all they eat but for a winter treat but I want a cat’s opinion. I plan to add half a pat of sweet no-salt butter to both dishes.

Sincerely,
Terry the Guardian of Hades and Hecate

***

Dear Guardian,

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tuna! Butter is good too, especially if your cat is prone to hairballs. Or skinniness.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Food

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

Dear MeanKitty,

What kind of food does your typing slave serve you?

Sincerely,
David in Athens, Ohio

***

Dear David,

Tuna in sauce! Tuna in sauce! Tuna in sauce! Big D and I get our tasty wetfood treat every night for nummy snackums. Oh, and there’s always a bowl of some bland-ass dry stuff and whatever I con out of Pink Thing and Loud Thing, which is more than the adult humans realize, let me assure you. I am training those wee humans up *right*.

More interesting is what our guest advisor Meankitty Nala is served by her typing slave. Meankitty Nala gets Purina Special Care Hairball Control Formula and Whisker Lickin’ Treats, but she will only eat the treats if they stay soft. Slave has four containers of various treats in her cabinet that were hideously allowed to harden, therefore making them inedible. Whisker Lickin’ Treats fit the bill because they are in their own ziploc baggy, which can be placed inside yet another ziploc baggy so as to maintain maximum freshness.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Mystery Eater

Friday, August 6th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I really need your help. About 2 months ago I adopted a VERY SHY male cat. He’s has gotten pretty used to us in that time. The other night, though, he snuck out on the balcony and decided to jump off. We’ve seen him in the brush behind our house, but when we call him, he backs away. He’s never been outside before, so I know he is scared, but I would think that maybe he would recognize us and come to us. Could you give me some advice on how to get him back? Also, there are a few stray cats around, so when we give our cat food, we’re not sure if he’s eating it or if the other cats are. We just want him home! Please help?

Signed,
Lonely Jenni

***

Dear Jenni,

One option would be to put kitty tranqs in the catfood and see just who’s noshing on the stash. If your runaway is one of them, you can just scoop him up when he’s laying about in a drunken stupor. This is what my Typing Slave advises. I, however, recommend that you get a female cat in heat, put her on the balcony, and see if your shy little buddy comes when you call him THEN!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Two Cats and Piggie

Sunday, July 18th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I have two barn cats… and whenever I go to feed them in the barn, there are THREE cats! I usually shoo the stray with a pitchfork… but then she comes back and eats all my cat’s food! I tried feeding my cats MORE, despite the stray cat… but she still eats it all!

What do I do?

Signed,
Annoyed

***

Dear Annoyed,

What’s this about you only having two cats? I count three…One, Two and Piggie. Just because she eats more than the others is no reason to disown her. We didn’t disown Elvis, did we? You have three barn cats! Perhaps you need three food bowls. And once Piggie becomes used to the soft touch that is her new person, her eating habits should slow down. When my person first wised up and allowed me in the house, I ate anything that was put in front of me — but now I’ve learned that being a picky eater is MUCH more annoying to the humans.

Either way, you’d better make friends fast or taking Piggie for that rabies shot is going to cost you.

Signed,
Meankitty

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