Posts Tagged ‘F’
Sunday, October 6th, 2013
Name: Foo Foo
Human! Oh, Human! Your presence and your opposable thumbs are required.
What makes Foo Foo so mean?
Foo Foo and her brother Puss are rescues.
[[Meankitty's note: This means the cats rescued the humans from an otherwise humdrum life.]
Sitting at the door, she looks so demure and sweet like she can’t do anything for herself. But this is one smart cat! She steals the stoppers out of the bathroom sinks and has lost two earrings each from a different set down the drain. The other day I found a plastic cap from a hairspray bottle down there. Lucky for me I could get it out with tweezers.
In the summer I open my windows. Well, Foo Foo stands on the towel bar uses her claws to pull the screen in towards her and lets herself out.
Why she is sitting at the door? I don’t know, because she pushes that same bathroom screen in to let herself in.
Ha! My humans only *thinks* I lost the earrings down the sink. In reality I've been swapping them for catnip with this tom I met on the street. Sometimes it's a bit hard to transport them without opposable thumbs, but there's always more earrings where those came from.
She is also a biter, but not hard. I think the biting is a form of affection. At night when I am lying in bed reading, Foo Foo lays on my chest and rubs and bites my hands.
Submitted by: Incenselady and her brood
Saturday, September 14th, 2013
Location: Invercargill, New Zealand
Right now I don't want the love, I want the privacy.
What makes Fatboy so mean?
FatBoy just loves to torment his sister Possum. He stalks her at every opportunity, and boy, what a yowling ensues. I am not sure who wins these fights, but Poss sure can scream. It is quite unnerving and I try to warn the GirlyGirl when I can – when I see the boy giving her “the look”. I yell “POSSIE!” at her & she runs.
Fatty is one pure loving machine. He loves to be loved. Especially at all times of the night when he will sit on my face, purr super loudly & ever so gently claw my face. Burrowing under the covers or rolling over works for only so long. This is one determined kitty (all 7kg’s of him!). All he wants is a big love so he can go to the food bowl & scoff. The bowl always has food in it but this cat MUST be patted before he will partake. Cute, but annoying too, especially where sleep is involved. If I am reading a book in bed he will lie on the book & purr & look so winsome that I just have to drop the book & give him loves.
What happened to Lake Kittydrinkie?
This cat loves chocolate & chips. He will stare at me & I have taken to eating furtively in the kitchen. If I don’t turn on the tap in the bathroom when he wants the water, I get this loud long suffering meow which gets me running lickety split to turn on the tap. I suppose this is partly my fault in that he has FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease) & must drink water & lots of it. The biccies I have him on are high in sodium for this very purpose. Hence me running when he wants water.
Photo submitted by: Lena
Monday, April 1st, 2013
Location: San Fran
I’m not doing anything wrong…right now…quit giving me the stink eye!
What makes Fugazi so mean?
This is Fugazi, the kitty who won’t grow. She is well over a year old now, and is still her same 4 lbs. The vet says she’s healthy, so who knows.
Anyway, “Fuger” has a taste for plastic and human blood. She has trashed four sets of mini-blinds by chewing through them. I know this is how she did it because I clean her litter box. (You always find the evidence!) She also eats plastic bags and entire books of matches. She has figured out how to remove the screens from the windows and escape, so I can no longer open windows in my apartment.
“Fuger” waits patiently under the bed just behind the ruffle for me to walk by…claws raking into my ankles. She is also quite fond of disappearing while you are enjoying quiet time on the couch, only to come full speed from the bedroom to pounce on the back of the couch. This is done to either scare the bejeezus out of you, or take a taste of your head before retreating back to her bed hideaway.
Sometimes she puts away her mean-ness long enough to come cuddle up on your lap. She purrs and snuggles close. Awww. Isn’t that sweet? You reach down to pet her soft fur…
…and she wraps her entire body around your arm, claws digging in, and begins to eat you. I love her anyway. .
Submitted by: Amanda
Sunday, March 31st, 2013
Die, Tigger, die!
What makes Fudgie so mean?
Fudgie’s so mean he’s taken over a stuffed animal and refuses to give it back. Tigger goes everywhere with Fudge, usually by being dragged around by the jugular area. Needless to say, this mean kitty has removed all the ‘fur’ from Tigger’s neck and the stuffed tiger looks like the victim of an insane vampire attack.
Fudgie also chases our two dogs around the house, although the parrot did manage to show him who is boss with a Kung Fu maneuver. Since then, Fudgie gets even by taking naps in the parrot’s cage, which forces the bird to the top until Fudgie decides he’d rather be chasing the dogs or demanding a sniff and a lick of whatever we’re eating. Fudgie also stalks the house like a great cat of the Serengeti, ready to run out and pounce on anyone who dares to think they can just walk anywhere they want in his house. He insists on supervising us in the bathroom and will howl if we don’t let him in.
Die, human, die!
We’ve given up trying to eat at the kitchen table, since this appears to be Fudgie’s private domain. Whether its the surface or the seats, this mean kitty has never heard of sharing. Even when Fudgie is being a good boy and lets you pet him, if you even consider stopping, he wraps his paws around your hand and holds it in place. Rubbing the Fudge can take hours or days; people have starved to death in the process. The UN has been notified.
Submitted by: Trista
Saturday, March 30th, 2013
Don’t. You. Dare.
What makes Frisky so mean?
Frisky is one mean old man. He is 14 years old and every year becomes a bit more ornery. His favorite ploy is to nuzzle my face and then when I least expect it try to bite my chin off. He is attacking me as I am writing because my arm is moving. That must be the body part of choice for today that he has decided must not be allowed to move or will be attacked. This changes daily.
Hey, that tangerine on your plate looks really barfworthy! Think I’ll swipe it.
He is so senile and selfish that he will meow at the top of his lungs all night long until I meow back, get up and pet him. Then he proceeds to run through the house like there was a fire, repeatedly. For my feeding time his favorite game is to stand below my feet just out of sight so I step on his tail. Then while petting him he will race away and steal whatever may be on my plate within his reach. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like it, he will steal the food anyway, then puke it up right in the main walk path.
MEOW MEOW MEOW! I’m not senile, I’m a kitty lounge singer.
He is so ornery that one time I cleaned the litter box in front of him and that must not have been clean enough because he sniffed it and walked over to the fake tree and did his business!
Submitted by: Mallory
Friday, March 29th, 2013
Location: Sacremento, CA
Could you give me a hand here? I batted your car keys under the couch and I can’t seem to reach them.
What makes Freja so mean?
Freja screams bloody murder if you pick her up to give her luvvies. She doesn’t like to be held. She pees on our luggage outta spite when we return from a weekend trip. She has “issues”. When she and her buddy Thor were kittens, they would terrorize our apartment like two rampant squirrels. We have sacrificed plants, flowers in vases, and our carpet from glasses being knocked over by these terrors.
Submitted by: Laura
Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
See me wink at you? Yes, luring you to the kitchen at 5 am was a little joke of mine!
What makes Frankie so mean?
This is my roommate’s cat, named after Old Blue Eyes. At first glance you find a cat that seems so sweet and innocent. Then at 5:30am, when my alarm goes off, you hear it. The loudest meow that is more ear piercing than a fire alarm! When I go to check on the beast, he makes you follow him into the kitchen where it appears that he wants to play. I have been fooled again, and he commences to chew on my ankles and my hands when I try to pry him off before I bleed to death.
This is me laughing at stupid sleepwalking humans…hee hee hee!
God forbid my boyfriend and I walk out the door and leave the screen door open. Frankie would scream so loud, you could hear him clear across the complex. This was until he pulled the mesh off the screen and learned to jump from the second story balcony and land in the ivy below. Quite an amazing feat, yet to be caught on camera.
Submitted by: Melissa
Monday, October 22nd, 2012
I’d love to sink these white, gleaming babies into a raw potato.
What makes Frank so mean?
Although he’s sometimes a sweetheart, Frank can get quite nasty (just look at those fangs). He spends most of his time doing horrible things he’s not supposed to do, such as hanging off the shower curtain, destroying furniture, and clawing at the kitchen cupboards until he can get at some of his favourite toys, raw potatoes (no, really). His sisters, Spliffy & Black, are constantly under attack, and even though they are older and wiser than he, he has no respect for them whatsoever. He will chase them from one end of the apartment and back until HE decides he’s had enough and collapses in a heap.
You got me snipped, you human doofus! Just for that I’m licking my butt and drooling into your mouth. MMMMMMMMM.
We know when Frank is on the prowl, because of the constant yowling (even though he is fixed. Maybe that’s what he’s yowling about.) If he decides you shouldn’t be sleeping, he’ll let you know. He’ll yowl and yowl until you have no choice but to lock him out of the bedroom in the wee small hours, at which point he’ll claw at the carpet under the bedroom door until it peels away from the floor and folds up, thereby locking you IN the bedroom…very nasty.
When he decides to be affectionate (usually when you’re trying to sleep), he stomps on your chest with his huge tiger paws and DROOLS, sometimes in your eye or mouth.
Submitted by: Lisa M.
Wednesday, October 17th, 2012
The slave tried to put flowers on me to make me look sweet… I don’t think it works, do you?
What makes Francesca so mean?
Meet Francesca, my mean Manx. She’s wakes me at 4:30 a.m. every day with loud meows and jogs across my body so I’ll get up and cater to her feline Highness’s every need! For example…
“My bowl is full of dry food that’s been there for a ghastly 6 hours…throw it out and replenish it with fresh stuff!”
“I need the faucet turned on for my drinking pleasure immediately!”
“Let me outside right meow-now so I can roll on the ground and play with my toys outside!”
She lures me to pet her then tosses her head and ears back to reveal devilish green eyes, sharp teeth, hisses and claws whatever part of my body she can reach. That’s certainly a mood killer!
She hates other people, cats and raccoons and loves birds and bugs. Loves to EAT birds and bugs, that is!
Submitted by: Lani
Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
My favorite toy. Watch…it still blinks!
What makes Fletcher so mean?
Mr. Fletcher Neville is a meankitty. He thinks he is too sexy for his collar. He also oozes attitude at frequent intervals.
You walk past me without genuflecting, you get a claw to the ankle. You genuflect, you get a claw to the ankle.
If you get within ten feet of him, he will adopt “the look” that warns you not to come any closer. And if you insanely decide to brave his claws, he will adopt “the other look” right before leaping for your throat. Ok, maybe not your throat, but you know what I mean. He’s just one bad cat.
When the human said “vet”, evil green lights clicked on in Fletcher’s yellow eyes.
Submitted by: Toby Jill