Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

Gallery: Soeren

Monday, March 31st, 2014

Name: Soeren
Location: Scandinavia

Soeren is a meankitty

Dress me in a stupid hat and take my picture, will you? You shall pay, human. You shall pay.

What makes Soeren so mean?

Soeren is a Scandinavian Zombie cat who bites on everyone and everything. On this picture he has just finished off Santa Claus (wearing his cap as evidence). What can we do about him?

Meankitty says: I think he would not be so mad if you didn’t put hats on him. Also, if you gave him his own can of sardines every day…that might help.

Submitted by: Bjorn and Therese

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Gallery: Bob

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

Name: Bob
Location: Unknown

Bob is a meankitty

She claims this is to punish me…but 20 seconds after this photo was taken, I showed her the true meaning of torture!

What makes Bob so mean?

Bob came to us as a stray. What about Bob? He’s lucky he is so cute because he provokes the other older cats and always tries to command all the attention. If he were a girl, he’d be Chatty Kathy.

Bob didn’t like when we brought a new kitten into the house so he decided to ignore her and sit on top of her. I decided to torture him for that one by putting antlers on him. As you can see he is thrilled.

Submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: Holly Beast

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Name: Holly Beast
Location: Georgia

Holly is a meankitty

You know, this “random” attack thing is misunderstood. They aren’t random. They are strategically timed to engender the greatest amount of servile obedience. But you know humans — half blind and their noses barely work to boot.

What makes Holly so mean?

We got Holly in December of 2002. She was so named because of the Christmas season. We took to calling her Holly Berry because she was so sweet and cute. She’s still a pretty cat and she can be sweet, IF she wants to be! Why is she a mean kitty?

1. Although she lives in a household of 4 cats, she thinks she should be THE cat. She randomly attacks her brother and sisters. She used to love her brother Chip, two months younger. I have pictures of them cuddled and sleeping. Now she hates his guts and hisses every time she sees him or if he sniffs her (she, of course, reserves the right to sniff his behind whenever she wants!).

2. She thinks she is the queen of my bed and will chase the other cats off.

3. She is a foodie and her figure shows it. (One of her nicknames is Short Round.) She comes running when she hears the pop of a cat food can lid and pushes the other cats away from the dish. She may have already eaten, but that doesn’t matter. Holly comes first!

4. She has to be the center of attention. She sits on my paper when I try to work the crossword puzzle. When I am at the computer, she stands in front of the screen or sits on top of my hand and the mouse pad to keep me from working. ACK! Here she is now! When I am doing my paper crafts, she sits on my supplies, even though I have given her a canvas tote bag in her own corner of the table. If you try to move her from any of these spots, she doesn’t just bite you, she GNAWS on your arm.

5. If I don’t move fast enough to do what she wants, she yells at me. It sounds an awful lot like cursing.

This is why she is now called Holly Beast, or just Beast, instead of Holly Berry.

Submitted by: Beth

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Gallery: Spike

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

Name: Spike
Location: The North Pole

Spike is a meankitty

Christmas Christmas time is here....time to trash and time to sneer!

What makes Spike so mean?

Not only does Spike look a bit like the Grinch, he plays the Grinch as well. For the past three years Spike has taken down the family tree. We’ve tried everything, fishing wire from the tree to various “secure areas” on the wall to constant Spike monitoring. All to no avail. Spike always wins and takes it down. The best part, he struts away after each take down showing absolutely no remorse.

Photo submitted by: John

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Gallery: House of M

Saturday, December 22nd, 2012

Name: Magick, Mystick, Medea, Merlin (House of M)
Location: Bedford, VA

A Letter From the Mean Cats of America:

House of M is full of meankitties

Hey Mean Kitty and Big D! this is the crew at Mean Cats of America—Magick (the original), Merlin (aka Puke Boy or PB), Mystick (Hyssi Myssi) and Medea (aka The Alien In The Library or Chub Chubs)!

House of M lurking meankitty

We had a great Christmas season—or Yule as the Slaves call it…does it matter? Everyone knows I (Magick) am the Jolla Kotter (Yule Cat who scratches out the eyes of lazy children who do not appreciate getting clothing for Christmas) and THAT was the important thing.

House of M ChristmasThe tree WAS so beautiful! Slaves actually went out and bought a carousel for it so it could turn around and I could smack the balls off of all sides! What fun! Sometimes they can be so considerate! They also got an expensive new tree that has LED lights so I can’t munch on those yummy tiny bulbs–don’t know why she freaked so badly anyway. I’ve swallowed worse things than broken glass. She forgot about the Q-tip episode and the $300 vet bill!

Meankiitties wreck the jointWe didn’t get a pic of Medea—she is in Solitary Confinement in the library most of the day and we only see each other in passing with much hissing and growling and a swipe or two.

Meankitty eats the present

Signed,
Magick, on behalf of the crew—MagickMerlinMystickMedea

Magick’s Page / Mystick’s Page / Merlin’s Page / Medea’s Page / House of M Holiday Update

Meankitty tired

PS from Mommy Slave— Magick is the black Norwegian Forest Cat, Merlin is the white odd-eye, Mystick is the gray tabby/Egyptian Mau. Medea is a black Oriental who looks like she swallowed a loaf of bread whole and is in a constant state of panic. She’d be more impressive if you could HEAR her. She screams. And bites ankles. And absolutely despises the duster. Daddy Slave says the library sounds like the howling from the pits of Hell when the duster gets ‘accidentally’ left in on the books.

Submitted by: Ravyn

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Gallery: Cozmo

Friday, December 21st, 2012

Name: Cozmo
Location: Apex, NC

Cozmo is a meankitty

You get NOTHING from Santa, NOTHING, do you hear me, Dog Lover?

What makes Cozmo so mean?

Cozmo loves to spread his holiday cheer with everyone (cat, dog and human alike) by walking past and hissing. For those he’s particularly fond of, this is sometimes (ok – frequently) accompanied by growling, howling, spitting and biting. He’s such a joy to be around! Happy Holidays!

Submitted by: Megan

Bonus: Cozmo sings carols! Just for you.

Cozmo sings meankitty carols

I wish you a catty Christmas, I wish you a catty Christmas, I wish you a catty Christmas, and NO MORE DOGS HERE! I want some tuna pudding, I want some tuna pudding, I want some tuna putting, OR I WILL BITE YOUR EAR!

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Gallery: Elle

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

Name: Elle
Location: TX

Elle is a meankitty

You cannot hear this over the internet but I am screaming RIGHT NOW! Without moving my lips. It is a high level SOHC skill.

What makes Elle so mean?

Elle was born right here in our house. The second her mouth and lungs were clear, she started screaming. For the first few months of her life, she screamed almost all the time. Anybody who’s ever had a screamer kitty knows that this can drive a slave out of his or her skull in no time.

Elle, of course, loved the fact that every slave in the house bowed and scraped before her in an attempt to please her. We offered the choicest kitty food, the best treats, fresh water (free of dog drool, even) and the greatest toys. Elle screamed anyway.

Then, for a while, Elle stopped. We enjoyed those brief weeks of silence.

But that did not last long. Elle was once again discontent with the universe and rarely lets us forget it!

Elle Santa

Talking about things that make me want to scream… I hate Christmas carols!

And when Elle isn’t screaming her lungs out, she’s keeping the dogs and other cats in their proper places: beneath her paws. She beats up puppies. She beats up the other cats. She even beats up human ankles and shins when she’s in a foul mood.

Submitted by: Sarah

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Gallery: Libby

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Name: Libby
Location: Unknown

Libby is a meankitty

I have an advanced degree in stealth and hiding. That's why my location is unknown!

What makes Libby so mean?

Christmas 2005: My parents and I traveled to the local animal shelter in search of a new kitten for me. We had become a foster family to our neighbor’s kitten but we had to give the kitten back because she was a gift for our neighbor’s daughter. My parents had their hearts set on a different cat, but Libby reached out, grabbed my coat, and would not let me go. If I started to look at other cats she would meow very loud and begin to play with the toys they had inside her cage, trying to get me to look at her. I was instantly smitten.

We adopted her and she quickly created a new ranking system in our family. The four other cats, all males, are terrified of her! She strikes the fear of God into their hearts with just one look from those bright green eyes. Before they enter the room they each check all four corners and any other area she may hide in so they will not be caught off guard. They never look hard enough. They also have been subjected to other cruel attacks. They have been shoved down the stairs, pushed into the running shower, and when they try to defend themselves, it angers her even more and they get the crap beat out of them.

She is a very intelligent cat. Before she was a year old she had learned how to open and unlock doors. She was so clever we were forced to put a child-proof doorknob on some of the doors so she couldn’t get in. She throws temper tantrums if she does not get her way. If you tell her no, she will stare into your eyes and knock over something as if saying, “Take this!”

She also has a strong obsession with pens and pencils. She is always taking them away from me when I’m trying to do my homework

Submitted by: Caitlin

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Gallery: David Bowie

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Name: David Bowie
Location: Kansas City

David Bowie is a meankitty.

Step away from the cupboards. In fact, get outta my kitchen!

What makes DB so mean?

My name is David Bowie, and I’m the Meanest Kitty in Kansas City. When I’m not barfing in the hallway, lacerating the curtains or gnawing on my sister’s ears, I spend my spare time guarding the kitchen cupboards and hissing at anyone who dares try enter my kitchen.

David Bowie is murderous

Ceiling fans fall and kill humans in their sleep allllllllllll the time...

My hobbies are eating plants, shredding books, and eating and then pooing out everything from shoestrings to Christmas tree garland. My ‘slave’ Sarah for some reason thinks that I like dancing, but when she insists, I plan all the different ways I can kill her in her sleep and make it look like an accident. I’m 19 pounds of PURE MEAN. Mess with the cat, and you’ll get the claws.

Submitted by: Sarah

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Letters: Santa for Kitties?

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Dear Meankitty,

Have you or Big D ever seen Santa Claws?

Sincerely,
Curious Fan

**

Dear Curious,

Sort of. He doesn’t come around here any more for reasons that are a bit delicate.

Sincerely,

Meankitty

Kenny vs Santa

This year...that fat man is going down!

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