Posts Tagged ‘black’
Friday, January 17th, 2014
Location: The bathroom
Go outside and bathe in the hose, human. I'm busy in here.
What makes Paris so mean?
I got Paris an an animal shelter when she was three years old. When I took her home the first thing she did was crawl into the tub. Now it is her home, and she doesn’t like home invasions. You have to call her into the kitchen and ply her with treats in order to take a shower, but you’d better be quick!
Photo submitted by: April
Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
I'm this black and shiny because I use Gee Your Tongue Smells Terrific.
What makes Jupiter so mean?
This is Jupiter. He may look like a sweet, fluffy, perfect specimen of felinity, but he is not. Jupiter is a mean kitty. Back in the heyday of his evil, he would jump up on the kitchen table as we were eating and lay down, flexing the claws in his right paw threateningly. In 1998, he attacked a door to door salesman, cornered a friend in the bathroom, and had a showdown with another friend on the kitchen table on a three day rampage. He was diagnosed by the veterinarian with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. The vet prescribed him Paxil, but it was to no avail.
Jupiter refused to take the medicine. If we hid it in a plate of tuna, he ate around the pill. If we tried to shove it down his throat, we ended up with scabs on our throats. When we did give him the medicine, he seemed calmer and sweet and stopped coming up to you purring, inviting you to pet him, then attacking when you let your guard down. But it was a thirty minute ordeal getting him his medicine every day. And I was losing a lot of blood. We took him back to the vet, who offered to put him to sleep. (Apparently during his last visit Jup had made an enemy of Dr. Stevens.) We said HELL NO — after all, we love our mean kitty.
Once after being at the vet, Jupiter would not come out of his cage. He stayed in the back and yowled like a lion, biting fiercely and kicking with his back legs against anyone or anything that came this way. Eventually my husband got him out of the cage but Jup tore through the leather gloves he was wearing, tearing a huge hole in my husband’s hands. And still, once a week or so, when the stars are misaligned, he goes on a rampage — may the other household cats and plants forgive him.
Photo submitted by: Mary
Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Name: Marie Leveau
Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?
What makes Marie so mean?
Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!
Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.
Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.
However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.
Photo submitted by: April S
Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Name: Neji Hyuuga (Neji)
Location: Yulee, FL
You lied! This doesn't taste at all like hair.
What makes Neji so mean?
It’s a little creepy cat if you wish. But I think he’s just my little ninja. Sometimes hhe looks so cute on the carpet, staring at you like a little angel. Yet at at bathtime he seems as if he is saying, “HEY! WHAT THE HECK! I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PUT ME IN THE DANG SINK!”
Then other times, when you least expect it, he sits under the rocking chair, waiting quietly until you come by. Out he comes, crashing into your leg and snapping up your hopeless feet until you go screaming into the bathroom to get a bandaid. Lastly, he LOVES to eat hair and especially scratch your eyes.
Photo submitted by: Kate
Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
Name: Voodoo (2)
Ah voo voo voo! Ah da da doo! Is all I want to say to you.
What makes Voo so mean?
As we say here in Wales, cats stop you doing things, like tying your shoelaces, vacuuming, making dinner, emailing, reading a book or newspaper. These are just some of the things Voo likes to “HELP” us to do; the list is endless.
When she decides she wants attention, you have to give it to her. Her meow sounds like she is constantly saying ME ME ME ME! When she’s not being a complete nutter in the house, she’s out in the garden terrorizing the local tomcats and my neighbour’s Golden Retriever, eating every bug in sight, and I’m sure she has depleted the local bird and squirrel population. We call her Evil because of her scary eyes which are bright jade green, but when she is really going nuts they seem to turn a strange sort of orange.
It’s hard to get her to stay still long enough to take a pic…this one is a fluke.
Photo submitted by: Carol-Anne
Saturday, March 9th, 2013
You'd climb walls too if they had red wallpaper on them. Redecoration Kitty!
What makes Kukl so mean?
She climbs walls and bites the hands that feed her.
Photo submitted by: Myles
Monday, November 5th, 2012
Name: Sam Osama
Go away, I’m hiding in my seekrit cave.
What makes Sam so mean?
At the vet’s we call him Sam, but his real name is Osama. Just his name should tell you he’s a mean kitty. We took him in as a kitten (for his own safety) after he kept tearing out screens at his former owner’s house and running across the street (like it’s a playground) to see our other cats. We soon realized what a little terrorist we had taken in. We’ve never had such a wild cat! There was really only one thing to name him. He’s grown from a little terrorist to a bigger, meaner terrorist. His increased size and strength only serve to facilitate his acts of terror, which include:
– Chewing and tearing the toilet paper off the roll.
– Chewing houseplants.
– Eating nameless hunks of crud off the floor.
– Jumping up on the mantle and knocking off whatever he pleases.
– Playing REAL rough. Picking fights with the other cats for the sheer hell of it.
– Eating off our plates.
– Attacking the vacuum cleaner like it’s just a big play toy. No fear.
– Joyously “helping” anyone who comes in to work on the house. Involving himself with loud heavy equipment. Climbing ladders. Fearless.
– Pulling down my tabletop Christmas tree two days in a row. Standing up on his hind legs and just SEIZING it. I finally took it to work to keep it from being destroyed. I’m afraid to get a big tree!
– Grabbing and attacking, with all 18 and the teeth too, any hand that reaches out to pet him (he defines this as play. I have scars.)
– Escaping out the door, running like hell from me, and disappearing. Damn good thing I have an ID tag on him. Some people on the next street, BEHIND his former house, called me one day last summer to say “We have your cat … that’s really his name?”
– Climbing screens. Still tearing out screens. He’s become a real expert! Damn good thing we have central air. Next summer, it’s window grilles!
Submitted by: Shari
Friday, February 24th, 2012
I'm actually mean coz I'm paid to be that way! I'm a mercenary kitty.
What makes Jack so mean?
Jack, the meanest cat ever, is a very arrogant cat, always biting and putting his claws on everybody and doesn’t like anyone except my mom, coz she’s the one who gives him the food. He’s only nice when he wants something, and when he doesn’t get what he wants, he will bite you until you say “enough”!
Usually, he sleeps all day long, but when the night comes, watch out, coz this cat has an attitude!
Photo submitted by: Naiah
Thursday, September 30th, 2010
Hey, Pops, you'd be so proud of what I've accomplished on earth in this incarnation!
What makes Aithinie so mean?
My cat Aithinie is forcing to write this letter. I am at her mercy at all times except when I am at work where I make the money to pay for her goodies and home.
Aithinie is known to her human slaves as “The Demon, Spawn of Satan.” Quite a mouthful I know. This is the story of how Aithinie came to live with me in Princeton, West Virginia
Satan was growing bored down in (well you know) and decided that he wanted to go topside for a few hours. Not really giving any thought to the form he was assuming, he became a tomcat. Satan planned his surfacing poorly and ended up in the woods of SW Virginia. In his tomcat form he couldn’t help but notice a female cat in heat, and the rest was nature. Thus, the spawning of Aithinie. One day I happened upon this ad for kittens and I just had to have one (I still say it was a compulsion spell…OWWWW! Back to the story). I made the trip across state lines and I saw that there was a black runt that was a female. I thought it was the perfect match.
It was for Aithinie. She has claimed many human slaves, but tells me that I have the honor of calling myself the head of them. (As if cleaning the litterbox is an honor..Owww!) Aithinie is now over a year old and well established in her mansion where there is only one thing wrong and that is her arch enemy the degu Sean. Aithinie told me to state for the record, that it’s all my fault. Sean when let out of the cage to roam certain rooms tends to chase Aithinie around for hours in a very ungentlemanly like manner, but of course my mistress says, “What can you expect from a filthy rodent whose idea of a bath is rolling around in sand?”
That is the story of Aithinie and she tells me the typing is done, it’s time to prepare her royal meal.
Photo submitted by: Katie
Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Name: Sabrina aka Bad Kitty
Location: WA State
I earned my degree in Advanced Skin Shredding at the SOHC Institute for Meankitties.
What makes Sabrina so mean?
My human slave had to write this for me, since I don’t have opposable thumbs and my midnight typing forays do not always result in something that can be read. If we had opposable thumbs we could do away with humans and work the can opener by ourselves.
But I digress. I am Sabrina, aka “Bad Kitty”. I don’t know that I would say that I’m “mean”; I just rule my house with an iron paw. I might occasionally snuggle and purr, but that’s when I want attention. Refusal to do my bidding, playing with me incorrectly, or ignoring me will result in a severe shredding of the skin on your ankles as I leap out at you from the darkened recesses of the living room. NO HUMAN IS SAFE .
Photo submitted by: Lisa