Posts Tagged ‘black’
Thursday, September 30th, 2010
Hey, Pops, you'd be so proud of what I've accomplished on earth in this incarnation!
What makes Aithinie so mean?
My cat Aithinie is forcing to write this letter. I am at her mercy at all times except when I am at work where I make the money to pay for her goodies and home.
Aithinie is known to her human slaves as “The Demon, Spawn of Satan.” Quite a mouthful I know. This is the story of how Aithinie came to live with me in Princeton, West Virginia
Satan was growing bored down in (well you know) and decided that he wanted to go topside for a few hours. Not really giving any thought to the form he was assuming, he became a tomcat. Satan planned his surfacing poorly and ended up in the woods of SW Virginia. In his tomcat form he couldn’t help but notice a female cat in heat, and the rest was nature. Thus, the spawning of Aithinie. One day I happened upon this ad for kittens and I just had to have one (I still say it was a compulsion spell…OWWWW! Back to the story). I made the trip across state lines and I saw that there was a black runt that was a female. I thought it was the perfect match.
It was for Aithinie. She has claimed many human slaves, but tells me that I have the honor of calling myself the head of them. (As if cleaning the litterbox is an honor..Owww!) Aithinie is now over a year old and well established in her mansion where there is only one thing wrong and that is her arch enemy the degu Sean. Aithinie told me to state for the record, that it’s all my fault. Sean when let out of the cage to roam certain rooms tends to chase Aithinie around for hours in a very ungentlemanly like manner, but of course my mistress says, “What can you expect from a filthy rodent whose idea of a bath is rolling around in sand?”
That is the story of Aithinie and she tells me the typing is done, it’s time to prepare her royal meal.
Photo submitted by: Katie
Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Name: Sabrina aka Bad Kitty
Location: WA State
I earned my degree in Advanced Skin Shredding at the SOHC Institute for Meankitties.
What makes Sabrina so mean?
My human slave had to write this for me, since I don’t have opposable thumbs and my midnight typing forays do not always result in something that can be read. If we had opposable thumbs we could do away with humans and work the can opener by ourselves.
But I digress. I am Sabrina, aka “Bad Kitty”. I don’t know that I would say that I’m “mean”; I just rule my house with an iron paw. I might occasionally snuggle and purr, but that’s when I want attention. Refusal to do my bidding, playing with me incorrectly, or ignoring me will result in a severe shredding of the skin on your ankles as I leap out at you from the darkened recesses of the living room. NO HUMAN IS SAFE .
Photo submitted by: Lisa
Monday, August 23rd, 2010
Don't look! I'm ripping up an item at the bottom of the laundry.
What makes Minu so mean?
Hello, my name is Minu. I know I look angelic in these pictures, but I assure you this is all an act I put on to make my slaves love me!
One of my favourite things to do is to rip up toilet paper on the roll and scatter it all around the house. I then sit and watch (with my angelic face on) while my slave picks it up! Generally, I think ripping things is great all round fun. I have ripped lots of things in the house including sheets, blankets, couches, carpet rugs, and my favourite, my human’s legs.
You know, "Don't look," also means go away. You'll pay for this nosy outrage!
I live in a 2nd floor unit and the other night (in the middle of the night) I decided I wanted to escape! I leapt nearly two stories down and then freaked out and ran across a car park and under a car. My slave was trying to get me out from under the car, so I climbed into the engine. Eventually, she got me out, and when back in the unit I acted like nothing had happened. Good times, good times.
Photo submitted by: Zara
Thursday, August 19th, 2010
Luggage Theft Defense Device, Feline style
What makes Loki so mean?
We named our kitten “Loki” after the Norse god of mischief, fun, and tricks. Loki has certainly lived up to his name because anything that moves is fair game for his version of tricks!
In this first picture he has purposefully packed himself into my daughter’s luggage to await unsuspecting passersby.
They keep hiding my treats...but I'm getting better at finding them!
In the second picture he is getting a fix on a concealed hand inside the blue sweatshirt. He is gentle with his claws—good thing as there are 22 of them since he is polydactyl on all 4 feet—but what he lacks in meanness claw-wise, he more than makes up for it by using his teeth on everyone and everything!
Photo submitted by: Gail
Monday, August 9th, 2010
Location: The Roost
Rescue me from the gunk in my eye!
What makes Ragamuffin so mean?
This is Ragamuffin, AKA Rags. She’s a 1 yr. old rescued Maine Coon cat that rules the roost. When I got her at two months she was sick and weighed just over a pound. She is quite an attention hog. When I’m reading she eats the pages.
If you want to know what cats think of David Baldacci...
Now that she’s older and bigger (10) pounds, she’s taken on hardbacks. When I’m at the computer, her bid for attention is running down the hall, climbing the back of my chair and sitting on my shoulders. The bad part of this exercise is when she misses the chair and gets me instead. Maybe she’s trying to tell me it’s her bedtime because that’s where she sleeps.
Photo submitted by: Anon
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
Note the supercilious expression... Not to be confused with supersilly.
What makes Gabriel so mean?
Gabriel isn’t even a year old but I suspect is gifted mentally. He enjoys watching movies with me, reads Cat Fancy, Cosmopolitan and The Purpose Driven Life. At least he confiscated the book from my personal library and has never returned it!
Unfortunately most of the time Gabriel uses his intelligence for evil, not good. He has decided (after reading Cosmo) that he will be the ONLY man of the house. When any male friends enter the apartment, Gabriel launches a full attack of hisses, bites, and he loves to trip (he sent my friend crashing into the dining room table by strategically placing himself under his feet while he was carrying food). Gabriel doesn’t quit the harassment until blood is drawn and the male intruder leaves.
Gabriel then punishes me for daring to invite men into his castle. The punishment can last for days and is both psychological and physical. He waits until I am asleep and bolts underneath the covers, puncturing my feet with his teeth. If he doesn’t have a taste for flesh that evening, he spends the whole night howling at the moon like a coyote.
It's actually the only one I've got (supercilious). Mama always said, watch out or your face will freeze that way. Truth!
Gabriel insists on wet food at precisely 6:00 am every morning. If I am not up, he cuddles next to my face and purrs. He fools me every time because I think he is being lovey, but if I dare drift back to sleep he bites my nose HARD. He has drawn blood. If that doesn’t scare me out of bed, he comes back and bites my lip.
I work from home, and like a small child, Gabriel doesn’t understand quiet time. I can always count on him to open the kitchen cabinets and remove all the pots and pans onto the kitchen floor when I am busy. He then moves into the bedroom and systematically knocks over perfume bottles, hair brushes, books and anything I have on the dresser. His favorite seems to be the cd tower as it makes the loudest noise when it comes crashing down.
If I had a dollar for every day that I had to work typing with one hand because he was asleep on my arm, I would be rich! I don’t dare move him though; I know too well his revenge will come later in the night when I am fast asleep…
Photo submitted by: Tia
Thursday, July 29th, 2010
Name: Una Noel Shabooboo
Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.
What makes Una so mean?
We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of familial dysfunction.
My yoga instructor calls this one Melted Cat, No Bull
So I brought her home to live with our 20 pound Buddha cat, Grendel (the name does not begin to describe his laid back zen attitude – he truly is a hairy little buddha). She proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Did I mention she only weighed 2 pounds?
I am the crazy cat lady with the invisible homeless cat magnet. Over the years we have had numerous kittens show up on our doorsteps. While the kittens are still young (under 1 year of age), Una dotes on them. Once they hit a year, she begins a merciless program of beatings and torment. It’s really quite horrifying to behold. She even drove one cat out of the house to be consumed by a great horned owl (sad story… let’s not go into details).
Actually I'm not sensitive to static electricity, I just think humans smell funny and don't want them rubbing on my beauteous fur.
She absolutely refuses to be touched unless you’ve just stepped out of the shower. We’ve determined that she is highly sensitive to static electricity and the only time you don’t shock her is when you are wet. We live in the high desert of SW Colorado so that don’t happen too often. She wants nothing to do with human contact and also routinely kicks the dogs’ butts. Even the horses don’t mess with her. She is tiny with these hideously white claws that gleam out of her velvety black paws. And she gives no warning. She can be sleeping peacefully and you simply walk by and her obsidian claws of death wreak havoc upon your defenseless flesh.
Photo submitted by: Krista and Flint
Thursday, July 15th, 2010
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)
I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!
What makes Cairo so mean?
Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.
The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.
Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.
I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.
Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!
Photo submitted by: Jennifer
Thursday, July 15th, 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Human nose flesh is nummy to my tummy!
What makes Baby so mean?
Baby is very sweet, will fetch anything, eat my hair, and will love anyone to death (keyword: death). I taught him this cute trick of running away with the toilet paper, and I am quite sorry.
But how is a sweet, cute kitty so mean? If you are not giving him enough attention, then you’re in trouble. Look out for flying black cat that can launch himself anywhere at any time at anything. He is the alpha male in the house and used to getting what he wants. The others cats just bow down to him. I have a v-shaped split on the top and bottom of my right nostril from not waking up early enough to give him enough attention. Right now, he’s ripping through my hubby’s computer stuff. But he’s my baby. I wouldn’t give him up (or the others) for the world.
Photo submitted by: Amy
Thursday, July 15th, 2010
I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!
What makes Baallow so mean?
Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.
Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.
You look like fava beans to me, dog....
We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.
She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.
Photo submitted by: Anon