Posts Tagged ‘black’
Friday, July 25th, 2014
I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!
What makes Baallow so mean?
Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.
Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.
You look like fava beans to me, dog....
We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.
She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.
Photo submitted by: Anon
Saturday, January 18th, 2014
NameL While You Were Out
Location: Where You Aren’t
Meankitty redecorating: curtains, for swinging. couches, for scratching. beds, for puking hairballs!
What makes WYWO so mean?
Although the silly human slave who submitted the picture couldn’t be bothered to supply this cat’s name or location, he has proved the cat belongs in the Meankitty Gallery by showing what “Blackie”, the “While You Were Out” kitty redecorating show host, has done to improve his view out the window.
Photo submitted by: Christopher Price
Friday, January 17th, 2014
Location: The bathroom
Go outside and bathe in the hose, human. I'm busy in here.
What makes Paris so mean?
I got Paris an an animal shelter when she was three years old. When I took her home the first thing she did was crawl into the tub. Now it is her home, and she doesn’t like home invasions. You have to call her into the kitchen and ply her with treats in order to take a shower, but you’d better be quick!
Photo submitted by: April
Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
I'm this black and shiny because I use Gee Your Tongue Smells Terrific.
What makes Jupiter so mean?
This is Jupiter. He may look like a sweet, fluffy, perfect specimen of felinity, but he is not. Jupiter is a mean kitty. Back in the heyday of his evil, he would jump up on the kitchen table as we were eating and lay down, flexing the claws in his right paw threateningly. In 1998, he attacked a door to door salesman, cornered a friend in the bathroom, and had a showdown with another friend on the kitchen table on a three day rampage. He was diagnosed by the veterinarian with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. The vet prescribed him Paxil, but it was to no avail.
Jupiter refused to take the medicine. If we hid it in a plate of tuna, he ate around the pill. If we tried to shove it down his throat, we ended up with scabs on our throats. When we did give him the medicine, he seemed calmer and sweet and stopped coming up to you purring, inviting you to pet him, then attacking when you let your guard down. But it was a thirty minute ordeal getting him his medicine every day. And I was losing a lot of blood. We took him back to the vet, who offered to put him to sleep. (Apparently during his last visit Jup had made an enemy of Dr. Stevens.) We said HELL NO — after all, we love our mean kitty.
Once after being at the vet, Jupiter would not come out of his cage. He stayed in the back and yowled like a lion, biting fiercely and kicking with his back legs against anyone or anything that came this way. Eventually my husband got him out of the cage but Jup tore through the leather gloves he was wearing, tearing a huge hole in my husband’s hands. And still, once a week or so, when the stars are misaligned, he goes on a rampage — may the other household cats and plants forgive him.
Photo submitted by: Mary
Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Name: Marie Leveau
Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?
What makes Marie so mean?
Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!
Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.
Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.
However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.
Photo submitted by: April S
Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Name: Neji Hyuuga (Neji)
Location: Yulee, FL
You lied! This doesn't taste at all like hair.
What makes Neji so mean?
It’s a little creepy cat if you wish. But I think he’s just my little ninja. Sometimes hhe looks so cute on the carpet, staring at you like a little angel. Yet at at bathtime he seems as if he is saying, “HEY! WHAT THE HECK! I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PUT ME IN THE DANG SINK!”
Then other times, when you least expect it, he sits under the rocking chair, waiting quietly until you come by. Out he comes, crashing into your leg and snapping up your hopeless feet until you go screaming into the bathroom to get a bandaid. Lastly, he LOVES to eat hair and especially scratch your eyes.
Photo submitted by: Kate
Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
Name: Voodoo (2)
Ah voo voo voo! Ah da da doo! Is all I want to say to you.
What makes Voo so mean?
As we say here in Wales, cats stop you doing things, like tying your shoelaces, vacuuming, making dinner, emailing, reading a book or newspaper. These are just some of the things Voo likes to “HELP” us to do; the list is endless.
When she decides she wants attention, you have to give it to her. Her meow sounds like she is constantly saying ME ME ME ME! When she’s not being a complete nutter in the house, she’s out in the garden terrorizing the local tomcats and my neighbour’s Golden Retriever, eating every bug in sight, and I’m sure she has depleted the local bird and squirrel population. We call her Evil because of her scary eyes which are bright jade green, but when she is really going nuts they seem to turn a strange sort of orange.
It’s hard to get her to stay still long enough to take a pic…this one is a fluke.
Photo submitted by: Carol-Anne
Saturday, March 9th, 2013
You'd climb walls too if they had red wallpaper on them. Redecoration Kitty!
What makes Kukl so mean?
She climbs walls and bites the hands that feed her.
Photo submitted by: Myles
Monday, November 5th, 2012
Name: Sam Osama
Go away, I’m hiding in my seekrit cave.
What makes Sam so mean?
At the vet’s we call him Sam, but his real name is Osama. Just his name should tell you he’s a mean kitty. We took him in as a kitten (for his own safety) after he kept tearing out screens at his former owner’s house and running across the street (like it’s a playground) to see our other cats. We soon realized what a little terrorist we had taken in. We’ve never had such a wild cat! There was really only one thing to name him. He’s grown from a little terrorist to a bigger, meaner terrorist. His increased size and strength only serve to facilitate his acts of terror, which include:
– Chewing and tearing the toilet paper off the roll.
– Chewing houseplants.
– Eating nameless hunks of crud off the floor.
– Jumping up on the mantle and knocking off whatever he pleases.
– Playing REAL rough. Picking fights with the other cats for the sheer hell of it.
– Eating off our plates.
– Attacking the vacuum cleaner like it’s just a big play toy. No fear.
– Joyously “helping” anyone who comes in to work on the house. Involving himself with loud heavy equipment. Climbing ladders. Fearless.
– Pulling down my tabletop Christmas tree two days in a row. Standing up on his hind legs and just SEIZING it. I finally took it to work to keep it from being destroyed. I’m afraid to get a big tree!
– Grabbing and attacking, with all 18 and the teeth too, any hand that reaches out to pet him (he defines this as play. I have scars.)
– Escaping out the door, running like hell from me, and disappearing. Damn good thing I have an ID tag on him. Some people on the next street, BEHIND his former house, called me one day last summer to say “We have your cat … that’s really his name?”
– Climbing screens. Still tearing out screens. He’s become a real expert! Damn good thing we have central air. Next summer, it’s window grilles!
Submitted by: Shari
Friday, February 24th, 2012
I'm actually mean coz I'm paid to be that way! I'm a mercenary kitty.
What makes Jack so mean?
Jack, the meanest cat ever, is a very arrogant cat, always biting and putting his claws on everybody and doesn’t like anyone except my mom, coz she’s the one who gives him the food. He’s only nice when he wants something, and when he doesn’t get what he wants, he will bite you until you say “enough”!
Usually, he sleeps all day long, but when the night comes, watch out, coz this cat has an attitude!
Photo submitted by: Naiah