Posts Tagged ‘black’

Gallery: Loki

Friday, November 7th, 2014

Name: Loki
Location: Unknown

Loki is a meankitty

Luggage Theft Defense Device, Feline style

What makes Loki so mean?

We named our kitten “Loki” after the Norse god of mischief, fun, and tricks. Loki has certainly lived up to his name because anything that moves is fair game for his version of tricks!

In this first picture he has purposefully packed himself into my daughter’s luggage to await unsuspecting passersby.

Loki has lots of toes

They keep hiding my treats...but I'm getting better at finding them!

In the second picture he is getting a fix on a concealed hand inside the blue sweatshirt. He is gentle with his claws—good thing as there are 22 of them since he is polydactyl on all 4 feet—but what he lacks in meanness claw-wise, he more than makes up for it by using his teeth on everyone and everything!

Photo submitted by: Gail

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Gallery: Minu

Saturday, November 1st, 2014

Name: Minu
Location: Upstairs

Minu

Don't look! I'm ripping up an item at the bottom of the laundry.

What makes Minu so mean?

Hello, my name is Minu. I know I look angelic in these pictures, but I assure you this is all an act I put on to make my slaves love me!

One of my favourite things to do is to rip up toilet paper on the roll and scatter it all around the house. I then sit and watch (with my angelic face on) while my slave picks it up! Generally, I think ripping things is great all round fun. I have ripped lots of things in the house including sheets, blankets, couches, carpet rugs, and my favourite, my human’s legs.

Minu

You know, "Don't look," also means go away. You'll pay for this nosy outrage!

I live in a 2nd floor unit and the other night (in the middle of the night) I decided I wanted to escape! I leapt nearly two stories down and then freaked out and ran across a car park and under a car. My slave was trying to get me out from under the car, so I climbed into the engine. Eventually, she got me out, and when back in the unit I acted like nothing had happened. Good times, good times.

Photo submitted by: Zara

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Gallery: Ragamuffin

Saturday, August 9th, 2014

Name: Ragamuffin
Location: The Roost

Ragamuffin the Maine Coone

Rescue me from the gunk in my eye!

What makes Ragamuffin so mean?

This is Ragamuffin, AKA Rags. She’s a 1 yr. old rescued Maine Coon cat that rules the roost. When I got her at two months she was sick and weighed just over a pound. She is quite an attention hog. When I’m reading she eats the pages.

Ragamuffin grown up

If you want to know what cats think of David Baldacci...

Now that she’s older and bigger (10) pounds, she’s taken on hardbacks. When I’m at the computer, her bid for attention is running down the hall, climbing the back of my chair and sitting on my shoulders. The bad part of this exercise is when she misses the chair and gets me instead. Maybe she’s trying to tell me it’s her bedtime because that’s where she sleeps.

Photo submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: Gabriel

Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

Name: Gabriel
Location: NC

Gabriel at rest

Note the supercilious expression... Not to be confused with supersilly.

What makes Gabriel so mean?

Gabriel isn’t even a year old but I suspect is gifted mentally. He enjoys watching movies with me, reads Cat Fancy, Cosmopolitan and The Purpose Driven Life. At least he confiscated the book from my personal library and has never returned it!

Unfortunately most of the time Gabriel uses his intelligence for evil, not good. He has decided (after reading Cosmo) that he will be the ONLY man of the house. When any male friends enter the apartment, Gabriel launches a full attack of hisses, bites, and he loves to trip (he sent my friend crashing into the dining room table by strategically placing himself under his feet while he was carrying food). Gabriel doesn’t quit the harassment until blood is drawn and the male intruder leaves.

Gabriel then punishes me for daring to invite men into his castle. The punishment can last for days and is both psychological and physical. He waits until I am asleep and bolts underneath the covers, puncturing my feet with his teeth. If he doesn’t have a taste for flesh that evening, he spends the whole night howling at the moon like a coyote.

Gabriel with more sneer

It's actually the only one I've got (supercilious). Mama always said, watch out or your face will freeze that way. Truth!

Gabriel insists on wet food at precisely 6:00 am every morning. If I am not up, he cuddles next to my face and purrs. He fools me every time because I think he is being lovey, but if I dare drift back to sleep he bites my nose HARD. He has drawn blood. If that doesn’t scare me out of bed, he comes back and bites my lip.

I work from home, and like a small child, Gabriel doesn’t understand quiet time. I can always count on him to open the kitchen cabinets and remove all the pots and pans onto the kitchen floor when I am busy. He then moves into the bedroom and systematically knocks over perfume bottles, hair brushes, books and anything I have on the dresser. His favorite seems to be the cd tower as it makes the loudest noise when it comes crashing down.

If I had a dollar for every day that I had to work typing with one hand because he was asleep on my arm, I would be rich! I don’t dare move him though; I know too well his revenge will come later in the night when I am fast asleep…

Photo submitted by: Tia

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Gallery: Una

Sunday, July 27th, 2014

Name: Una Noel Shabooboo
Location: CO

Una and Dog

Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.

What makes Una so mean?

We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of familial dysfunction.

Una and Books

My yoga instructor calls this one Melted Cat, No Bull

So I brought her home to live with our 20 pound Buddha cat, Grendel (the name does not begin to describe his laid back zen attitude – he truly is a hairy little buddha). She proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Did I mention she only weighed 2 pounds?

I am the crazy cat lady with the invisible homeless cat magnet. Over the years we have had numerous kittens show up on our doorsteps. While the kittens are still young (under 1 year of age), Una dotes on them. Once they hit a year, she begins a merciless program of beatings and torment. It’s really quite horrifying to behold. She even drove one cat out of the house to be consumed by a great horned owl (sad story… let’s not go into details).

Una the Meankitty

Actually I'm not sensitive to static electricity, I just think humans smell funny and don't want them rubbing on my beauteous fur.

She absolutely refuses to be touched unless you’ve just stepped out of the shower. We’ve determined that she is highly sensitive to static electricity and the only time you don’t shock her is when you are wet. We live in the high desert of SW Colorado so that don’t happen too often. She wants nothing to do with human contact and also routinely kicks the dogs’ butts. Even the horses don’t mess with her. She is tiny with these hideously white claws that gleam out of her velvety black paws. And she gives no warning. She can be sleeping peacefully and you simply walk by and her obsidian claws of death wreak havoc upon your defenseless flesh.

Photo submitted by: Krista and Flint

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Gallery: Cairo

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Name: Cairo
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)

Cairo the Meankitty

I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!

What makes Cairo so mean?

Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.

The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.

Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.

Cairo the Meankitty

I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.

Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!

Photo submitted by: Jennifer

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Gallery: Baallow

Friday, July 25th, 2014

Name: Baallow
Location: Dunno

Baallow the Meankitty

I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!

What makes Baallow so mean?

Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.

Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.

Baallow the Meankitty

You look like fava beans to me, dog....

We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.

She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.

Photo submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: WYWO

Saturday, January 18th, 2014

NameL While You Were Out
Location: Where You Aren’t

While You Were Out kitty

Meankitty redecorating: curtains, for swinging. couches, for scratching. beds, for puking hairballs!

What makes WYWO so mean?

Although the silly human slave who submitted the picture couldn’t be bothered to supply this cat’s name or location, he has proved the cat belongs in the Meankitty Gallery by showing what “Blackie”, the “While You Were Out” kitty redecorating show host, has done to improve his view out the window.

Photo submitted by: Christopher Price

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Gallery: Paris

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Name: Paris
Location: The bathroom

Paris is mean

Go outside and bathe in the hose, human. I'm busy in here.

What makes Paris so mean?

I got Paris an an animal shelter when she was three years old. When I took her home the first thing she did was crawl into the tub. Now it is her home, and she doesn’t like home invasions. You have to call her into the kitchen and ply her with treats in order to take a shower, but you’d better be quick!

Photo submitted by: April

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Gallery: Jupiter

Tuesday, October 1st, 2013

Name: Jupiter
Location: Unknown

Jupiter the Meankitty

I'm this black and shiny because I use Gee Your Tongue Smells Terrific.

What makes Jupiter so mean?

This is Jupiter. He may look like a sweet, fluffy, perfect specimen of felinity, but he is not. Jupiter is a mean kitty. Back in the heyday of his evil, he would jump up on the kitchen table as we were eating and lay down, flexing the claws in his right paw threateningly. In 1998, he attacked a door to door salesman, cornered a friend in the bathroom, and had a showdown with another friend on the kitchen table on a three day rampage. He was diagnosed by the veterinarian with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. The vet prescribed him Paxil, but it was to no avail.

Jupiter refused to take the medicine. If we hid it in a plate of tuna, he ate around the pill. If we tried to shove it down his throat, we ended up with scabs on our throats. When we did give him the medicine, he seemed calmer and sweet and stopped coming up to you purring, inviting you to pet him, then attacking when you let your guard down. But it was a thirty minute ordeal getting him his medicine every day. And I was losing a lot of blood. We took him back to the vet, who offered to put him to sleep. (Apparently during his last visit Jup had made an enemy of Dr. Stevens.) We said HELL NO — after all, we love our mean kitty.

Once after being at the vet, Jupiter would not come out of his cage. He stayed in the back and yowled like a lion, biting fiercely and kicking with his back legs against anyone or anything that came this way. Eventually my husband got him out of the cage but Jup tore through the leather gloves he was wearing, tearing a huge hole in my husband’s hands. And still, once a week or so, when the stars are misaligned, he goes on a rampage — may the other household cats and plants forgive him.

Photo submitted by: Mary

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