Posts Tagged ‘black’

Gallery: Una

Sunday, July 27th, 2014

Name: Una Noel Shabooboo
Location: CO

Una and Dog

Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.

What makes Una so mean?

We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of familial dysfunction.

Una and Books

My yoga instructor calls this one Melted Cat, No Bull

So I brought her home to live with our 20 pound Buddha cat, Grendel (the name does not begin to describe his laid back zen attitude – he truly is a hairy little buddha). She proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Did I mention she only weighed 2 pounds?

I am the crazy cat lady with the invisible homeless cat magnet. Over the years we have had numerous kittens show up on our doorsteps. While the kittens are still young (under 1 year of age), Una dotes on them. Once they hit a year, she begins a merciless program of beatings and torment. It’s really quite horrifying to behold. She even drove one cat out of the house to be consumed by a great horned owl (sad story… let’s not go into details).

Una the Meankitty

Actually I'm not sensitive to static electricity, I just think humans smell funny and don't want them rubbing on my beauteous fur.

She absolutely refuses to be touched unless you’ve just stepped out of the shower. We’ve determined that she is highly sensitive to static electricity and the only time you don’t shock her is when you are wet. We live in the high desert of SW Colorado so that don’t happen too often. She wants nothing to do with human contact and also routinely kicks the dogs’ butts. Even the horses don’t mess with her. She is tiny with these hideously white claws that gleam out of her velvety black paws. And she gives no warning. She can be sleeping peacefully and you simply walk by and her obsidian claws of death wreak havoc upon your defenseless flesh.

Photo submitted by: Krista and Flint

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Gallery: Cairo

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Name: Cairo
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)

Cairo the Meankitty

I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!

What makes Cairo so mean?

Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.

The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.

Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.

Cairo the Meankitty

I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.

Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!

Photo submitted by: Jennifer

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Gallery: Baallow

Friday, July 25th, 2014

Name: Baallow
Location: Dunno

Baallow the Meankitty

I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!

What makes Baallow so mean?

Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.

Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.

Baallow the Meankitty

You look like fava beans to me, dog....

We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.

She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.

Photo submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: WYWO

Saturday, January 18th, 2014

NameL While You Were Out
Location: Where You Aren’t

While You Were Out kitty

Meankitty redecorating: curtains, for swinging. couches, for scratching. beds, for puking hairballs!

What makes WYWO so mean?

Although the silly human slave who submitted the picture couldn’t be bothered to supply this cat’s name or location, he has proved the cat belongs in the Meankitty Gallery by showing what “Blackie”, the “While You Were Out” kitty redecorating show host, has done to improve his view out the window.

Photo submitted by: Christopher Price

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Gallery: Paris

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Name: Paris
Location: The bathroom

Paris is mean

Go outside and bathe in the hose, human. I'm busy in here.

What makes Paris so mean?

I got Paris an an animal shelter when she was three years old. When I took her home the first thing she did was crawl into the tub. Now it is her home, and she doesn’t like home invasions. You have to call her into the kitchen and ply her with treats in order to take a shower, but you’d better be quick!

Photo submitted by: April

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Gallery: Jupiter

Tuesday, October 1st, 2013

Name: Jupiter
Location: Unknown

Jupiter the Meankitty

I'm this black and shiny because I use Gee Your Tongue Smells Terrific.

What makes Jupiter so mean?

This is Jupiter. He may look like a sweet, fluffy, perfect specimen of felinity, but he is not. Jupiter is a mean kitty. Back in the heyday of his evil, he would jump up on the kitchen table as we were eating and lay down, flexing the claws in his right paw threateningly. In 1998, he attacked a door to door salesman, cornered a friend in the bathroom, and had a showdown with another friend on the kitchen table on a three day rampage. He was diagnosed by the veterinarian with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. The vet prescribed him Paxil, but it was to no avail.

Jupiter refused to take the medicine. If we hid it in a plate of tuna, he ate around the pill. If we tried to shove it down his throat, we ended up with scabs on our throats. When we did give him the medicine, he seemed calmer and sweet and stopped coming up to you purring, inviting you to pet him, then attacking when you let your guard down. But it was a thirty minute ordeal getting him his medicine every day. And I was losing a lot of blood. We took him back to the vet, who offered to put him to sleep. (Apparently during his last visit Jup had made an enemy of Dr. Stevens.) We said HELL NO — after all, we love our mean kitty.

Once after being at the vet, Jupiter would not come out of his cage. He stayed in the back and yowled like a lion, biting fiercely and kicking with his back legs against anyone or anything that came this way. Eventually my husband got him out of the cage but Jup tore through the leather gloves he was wearing, tearing a huge hole in my husband’s hands. And still, once a week or so, when the stars are misaligned, he goes on a rampage — may the other household cats and plants forgive him.

Photo submitted by: Mary

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Gallery: Marie Leveau

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Name: Marie Leveau
Location: Unknown

Marie is mean

Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?

What makes Marie so mean?

Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!

Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.

Marie the meankitty

Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.

However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.

Photo submitted by: April S

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Gallery: Neji

Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Name: Neji Hyuuga (Neji)
Location: Yulee, FL

Neji the meankitty

You lied! This doesn't taste at all like hair.

What makes Neji so mean?

It’s a little creepy cat if you wish. But I think he’s just my little ninja. Sometimes hhe looks so cute on the carpet, staring at you like a little angel. Yet at at bathtime he seems as if he is saying, “HEY! WHAT THE HECK! I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PUT ME IN THE DANG SINK!”

Then other times, when you least expect it, he sits under the rocking chair, waiting quietly until you come by. Out he comes, crashing into your leg and snapping up your hopeless feet until you go screaming into the bathroom to get a bandaid. Lastly, he LOVES to eat hair and especially scratch your eyes.

Photo submitted by: Kate

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Gallery: Voodoo (2)

Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Name: Voodoo (2)
Location: Wales

Voodoo is mean

Ah voo voo voo! Ah da da doo! Is all I want to say to you.

What makes Voo so mean?

As we say here in Wales, cats stop you doing things, like tying your shoelaces, vacuuming, making dinner, emailing, reading a book or newspaper. These are just some of the things Voo likes to “HELP” us to do; the list is endless.

When she decides she wants attention, you have to give it to her. Her meow sounds like she is constantly saying ME ME ME ME! When she’s not being a complete nutter in the house, she’s out in the garden terrorizing the local tomcats and my neighbour’s Golden Retriever, eating every bug in sight, and I’m sure she has depleted the local bird and squirrel population. We call her Evil because of her scary eyes which are bright jade green, but when she is really going nuts they seem to turn a strange sort of orange.

It’s hard to get her to stay still long enough to take a pic…this one is a fluke.

Photo submitted by: Carol-Anne

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Gallery: Kukl

Saturday, March 9th, 2013

Name: Kukl
Location: Unknown

Kukl

You'd climb walls too if they had red wallpaper on them. Redecoration Kitty!

What makes Kukl so mean?

She climbs walls and bites the hands that feed her.

Photo submitted by: Myles

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