Posts Tagged ‘biter’
Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
I'm this black and shiny because I use Gee Your Tongue Smells Terrific.
What makes Jupiter so mean?
This is Jupiter. He may look like a sweet, fluffy, perfect specimen of felinity, but he is not. Jupiter is a mean kitty. Back in the heyday of his evil, he would jump up on the kitchen table as we were eating and lay down, flexing the claws in his right paw threateningly. In 1998, he attacked a door to door salesman, cornered a friend in the bathroom, and had a showdown with another friend on the kitchen table on a three day rampage. He was diagnosed by the veterinarian with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. The vet prescribed him Paxil, but it was to no avail.
Jupiter refused to take the medicine. If we hid it in a plate of tuna, he ate around the pill. If we tried to shove it down his throat, we ended up with scabs on our throats. When we did give him the medicine, he seemed calmer and sweet and stopped coming up to you purring, inviting you to pet him, then attacking when you let your guard down. But it was a thirty minute ordeal getting him his medicine every day. And I was losing a lot of blood. We took him back to the vet, who offered to put him to sleep. (Apparently during his last visit Jup had made an enemy of Dr. Stevens.) We said HELL NO — after all, we love our mean kitty.
Once after being at the vet, Jupiter would not come out of his cage. He stayed in the back and yowled like a lion, biting fiercely and kicking with his back legs against anyone or anything that came this way. Eventually my husband got him out of the cage but Jup tore through the leather gloves he was wearing, tearing a huge hole in my husband’s hands. And still, once a week or so, when the stars are misaligned, he goes on a rampage — may the other household cats and plants forgive him.
Photo submitted by: Mary
Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
You rude human! Point at me, will you?
What makes Sylvester so mean?
Sylvester has a tendency to bite anything that’s shoved in his face so if you poke a finger in his direction you shouldn’t be surprised that he bites it.
Though I don’t care for the taste of human flesh, I will now teach you what happens when you dare point at me.
We have a pair of cat wrangling gloves, purchased at a hardware store (okay, they’re supposed to be work gloves) and putting them on when dealing with Sly results in him redoubling his efforts such that your skin would be ripped off if you didn’t have those gloves on. He’s now learned that if he goes for the arm just above the glove he gets better results (ie loud shouts of pain).
Gloves will not save you.
For all that he’s really a very loving and friendly cat who came to me when some folks moved out of town, back to England, almost 5 years ago.
Photos submitted by: Pam
Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Location: Columbus, OH
Head wounds bleed more, haven’t you heard? I get extra SOHC points for that.
What makes Hank so mean?
Hank the Stank (so named because he refuses to clean any of his nasty bits, I think out of principal or because he knows he smells and it bothers me) is a cat who likes to bite…your scalp and face! What started out as a cute trick (ohhh how cute, watch the kitten jump) when he was a baby has become not so funny now that he’s 10 pounds and has learned to do it “as a surprise”. Last week, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and out of nowhere, the Stank jumped onto my face and bit/scratched the TOP OF MY HEAD! I mean it bled and everything. Another cute trick he picked up (I think from hanging out with the dog too much) is when he bites, he doesn’t gnaw like most cats do. He bites down hard until he knows his teeth are hooked in and then SHAKES HIS HEAD AND PULLS (think pit-bull). Imagine how great 4 sets of claws and a pulling, shaking bite feels on top of your head.
Hank chewed up my only good pair of glasses (both lenses) and now he refuses to pay for them. I think lawyers may be involved sooner or later (or we’ll settle out of court–he’ll bite me on the face again and I’ll stop talking about it). God help anybody that tries to bathe him or clip his nails without chain mail, eye protection, and a helmet.
Photo submitted by: Mandy
Friday, August 23rd, 2013
Location: Pacific NW
I can kill with my breath…it’s my mutant kitty secret weapon!
What makes Gypsy so mean?
The queen of mean in my house is Gypsy. I used to have a sweet little kitten. I don’t know what happened?!
She scratches: people, my other animals, the furniture. She bites the hand that feeds her. She’s EXTREMELY picky with her food; it has to be a certain brand and a certain flavour, which changes. When she’s had enough of one kind, she angrily tries to cover it up, with her ears back, giving me the stink eye. So I have to look for another kind she likes, which is not easy.
Even when she’s in a loving mood, it’s unpleasant. She perches on our shoulders whether we like it or not, and always when it’s inconvenient. Her breath is atrocious, and she drools. If she ever wanted to maim someone, she could just bite you, lick the wound, which would eventually become horribly infected, causing you to develop gangrene.
Sure, I’ve taken her to the vet, had her teeth cleaned and for a check-up. But there’s apparently nothing wrong and her breath is still noxious. If you pick her up to cuddle with her, or pay some attention to her, she allows it for 30 seconds then starts to get uppity.
She has terrible mood swings. One second she’ll be nicely cleaning the face of another cat, next second she’ll slap them across the face. If they flinch they’ll get another slap. Our dogs are the referees of cat fights. She runs from them, but always plots revenge. So they’ll be bound to get theirs when they least expect it.
Photo submitted by: Thora
Tuesday, February 26th, 2013
Name: Waffle Pumpkin Rainbow Peanut Butter Peanut Butter Cinnamon Sugar Cookie Marshmallow Meanie
It is easy to rip the camera out of your grasp because your fingers are dead. Yeah, that's why they call you Zombie Hands.
What makes Waffle so mean?
Waffle bites. No, it’s not a new Eggo treat, it’s the cat.
Waffle was born on the street, grew up a tough little kitty, and was rescued by the animal shelter. On my birthday we went to pick out a kitten for me. She was the biggest kitty there, which we needed because we have two big dogs. Rosie, one of the dogs, still stares at her like she was a real waffle. We brought her home, and the first week we discovered she had a thing for toes under blankets late at night. My first day of school I was exhausted because all night I’d been kept awake by Waffle, gnawing on my toes, and doing this thing where, when she had my toes, she would start trying to dig into them with her back feet.
Now that she’s older, she terrorizes her grampa kitty, Peachy Lee, who is extremely thin because Waffle is starving him. We’re trying to get him to eat, but it’s like she’s threatened to cut him if he does. Whenever someone new comes to the house, she sniffs them, hides, and waits until they are relaxed before she attacks. She will bite anything that even resembles her pink comb–she hates that comb. She thinks she’s the queen, and she even has a rhinestone collar, which we had to take away, because the sound of that collar clinking would freak Peachy Lee out.
When you pet the Waffle Queen, she will bite your fingers to death. One time she scratched me so hard I have scars. We try to keep her claws trimmed, but we are only unworthy human slaves, incapable of remembering when to clip Waffle Queen’s royal nails.
Photo submitted by: Anon
Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
Location: Denver, CO
What makes Jake so mean?
He loves to bite for no reason. Well, I’m sure he has HIS reasons, but they don’t make sense to ME, the bit-ee.
Photo submitted by: Jeffrey C.
Friday, February 24th, 2012
I'm actually mean coz I'm paid to be that way! I'm a mercenary kitty.
What makes Jack so mean?
Jack, the meanest cat ever, is a very arrogant cat, always biting and putting his claws on everybody and doesn’t like anyone except my mom, coz she’s the one who gives him the food. He’s only nice when he wants something, and when he doesn’t get what he wants, he will bite you until you say “enough”!
Usually, he sleeps all day long, but when the night comes, watch out, coz this cat has an attitude!
Photo submitted by: Naiah
Saturday, January 28th, 2012
No, no, not the light, not the light! IT BURNS!
What makes Vincent so mean?
Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.
Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.
Photo submitted by: Darryl
Tuesday, November 1st, 2011
Location: Richmond, VA
After ruining a nice leather shoe, I like to drink a cool sip of toilet water and lick whichever human is available in the face.
What makes Elliot so mean?
My cat, Elliot is the Naughtiest Cat Ever!! He chews toys like a dog and leaves the stuffing on the floor. He chews everything and anything as you can tell in the picture. He is a biter.
He races around the house and does not let anything get in his way, not even a person.
Submitted by: Melissa
Monday, September 5th, 2011
Touch my head and I'll bite ya. Ah, heck, I'll bite ya anyway!
What makes Biter so mean?
This is such a mean kitty. When you wake up, first thing she does is attack your leg and bite it. She refuses to ‘fetch’. She bites your hand if you try to pet her while she is sleeping, and sometimes when you walk around a corner, she’s waiting for you (very patiently) then jumps on your leg like a magnet and starts biting and biting. That’s why her name is what it is. If she loses her ball, she makes ME get it! As if she can’t get it herself. She would make a terrible goalie.
Submitted by: Aaron