Meankitty.com

Name: Vincent
Location: Unknown

No, no, not the light, not the light! IT BURNS!

What makes Vincent so mean?

Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.

Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.

Photo submitted by: Darryl

Name: Elliot
Location: Richmond, VA

After ruining a nice leather shoe, I like to drink a cool sip of toilet water and lick whichever human is available in the face.

What makes Elliot so mean?

My cat, Elliot is the Naughtiest Cat Ever!! He chews toys like a dog and leaves the stuffing on the floor. He chews everything and anything as you can tell in the picture. He is a biter.

He races around the house and does not let anything get in his way, not even a person.

Submitted by: Melissa

Name: Biter
Location: Unknown

Touch my head and I'll bite ya. Ah, heck, I'll bite ya anyway!

What makes Biter so mean?

This is such a mean kitty. When you wake up, first thing she does is attack your leg and bite it. She refuses to ‘fetch’. She bites your hand if you try to pet her while she is sleeping, and sometimes when you walk around a corner, she’s waiting for you (very patiently) then jumps on your leg like a magnet and starts biting and biting. That’s why her name is what it is. If she loses her ball, she makes ME get it! As if she can’t get it herself. She would make a terrible goalie.

Submitted by: Aaron

Name: Kali-Mar
Location: Australia

I'm a princess ALL the time. Everyone knows human slaves must be given specific, simple directions or they won't understand.

What makes Kali so mean?

This is Kali-Mar, also known as Kali Monster, or PyschoKitty. She came from a pet shop weighing just 500g (block of butter size) with a huge ego and megalomania. When she is nice, she is lovely. Most times she is a demanding little princess who yowls, squeaks, grunts (can’t meow) and then dives in with fang and claw. And because she is a dainty little cat, she has teeth like razors. Her motto: “I want it, and I want it RIGHT NOW!!”

Mid 2011 Update–Kalimar decided she needed to showcase her awesomeness some more and submitted the following images and information:

Do I *LOOK* like butter? Or am I going to EAT your butter? You betta believe it!

Although she now appears in the bathroom every morning for her compulsory 10 minutes of scritching (ears, neck & chin please), she counters this with the almost obligatory bunny-kick session. (If you don’t know what that is, rub your cat’s tummy – it will attempt to disembowel you with the bunny-kick manuevour!)

I said, STOP LOOKING AT ME!

As she has got older, she has evening manic sessions where she suddenly and viciously hates everyone, hisses and spits, and yells “DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME!” before screaming off to hide under the furniture. Don’t attempt to pick her up in this mood, she will shred you.

Magically, she appears in the morning angelic and looking for scritches and off we go again.

Now is the time for scritches. You shall get off the computer and give them to me, or else!

Other Names: TK Tiniest Kitten In The Known Universe (when she was very young), Miss CrankyPants, Psycho-Kitty, PuppyCat, Kali-Wali, and You Bloody BitchCat from Hell!

Photo submitted by: Mala

Name: Daisy
Location: Unknown

This is me having a good time. Bitey, bitey, bo bitey!

What makes Daisy so mean?

What is this Play Paw thing? It totally ruins my good time.

My name is Daisy. I am a mean kitty because I love to bite the hand that pets me. Giving the bitey is very, very fun. I like to use my claws too, but not as much as I like to give the bitey. My human bought me this thing called a Play Paw so she can play with me when I am “Being Bad”, which, as we cats know, is just the typical human lack of understanding of SOHC requirements. And good times. And great oldies. But I do not like the Play Paw.

I do not like it, Sam I am. I do not like it on your hand. I do not like it in my hair. I do not like it anywhere.

My website: http://daisythecurlycat.blogspot.com/

Submitted by: Abby

Dear Meankitty,

My boyfriend and I have six cats. We love them all very much. One of our cats is very very mean to the others. Vladimir was born to a feral mother on a farm. He can be the cuddliest sweetest cat ever, but then he can be a vicious terror. Our other cats have scabs and bald spots from Vlad biting them. The smallest cat, other than himself, is most often his target. He attacks her all the time, biting her always on the face and leaving lots of abrasion and scrapes which create bald spots. We don’t know how to stop him from doing this. Any ideas?

Thank you,
A concerned cat lover

***

Dear Concerned,

We suggest you get an umpire-type face mask for the littlest cat and maybe some tiny Kevlar vests for the others. When Vlad blunts his teeth on that armor, maybe he’ll realize it’s not all that fun to bite other cats. You will then need to get a dog for him to bite instead. Of course, you did say you had a boyfriend. Perhaps Vlad can just bite him!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: Steven Gustaf
Location: Syracuse, NY

I'm not in the mood to lure you in by being faux-cuddly. Get lost!

What makes Steven so mean?

My name is Steven and I am a mean kitty! My human found your site and immediately thought I should enter, since she is always telling me I am the meanest kitty ever. I am a year and a half old “buff” tiger cat that my mom rescued from some people who said I “played too rough” with their dog. Mom thought they were being silly and that the dog was wimpy, but then she got to know me and understood. My favorite things to do are, in no particular order:

-Beat up my sister kitties, including my 16 yr old sister who is so much fun to attack because she hates me SOOOO much!
-Beat up the stupid doggies, though they kind of like it. They are a lot bigger than me but I’m tougher and make them bleed a lot.
-Breaking all of mom’s stuff, like expensive jewelry and vases and curtains. I also like to knock pictures off the walls and hide mom’s favorite clothes under the bed.
-Biting and scratching people. All the time. Without warning. Especially when they think I’m in a good mood and being cuddly and cute. That’s just how I lure them in. I give myself extra points for scratching babies and the elderly.
-Eating everything I can, whether it’s edible or not. Mom doesn’t understand that all the food is mine, and her lack of understanding often gets her scratched and bitten.
-Other miscellaneous activities like tipping over the dog’s water dish, unraveling the toilet paper, stealing the bathtub drain cover, yowling loudly at all hours of the day and night, etc.

This is how I punish the dogs for being dogs. I punish humans and cats for other reasons.

My mom says that I’ll be a nice kitty eventually, once I’m all grown up, but I don’t think she should get her hopes up, since being mean is too much fun!

Submitted by: Rachel

Dear Meankitty,

I enjoy sitting in my servant’s lap and purring, just to get them going, then I bite them! This really seems to bug them. Why? I’m just getting comfy, and then I get this urge to bite…what’s with this?

From,
Pink-nosed-kitten (Queen of the house)

***

Dear Pink-nose,

Haven’t you heard the old nursery rhyme?

A kitten with a black nose jumps on the lumpy.
A kitten with a pink nose bites when she’s comfy.
A kitten with a white nose ignores when you ask her to stop biting,
But the kitten with my nose I love best of all.

This probably doesn’t help, but I had fun writing it.

Signed,
Meankitty

Name: Loxley
Location: Perth, W. Australia

Stop or I'll fong you! Real bad, too.

What makes Loxley so mean?

This is Loxley, named after Robin of Loxley (Robin Hood). He’s 2 years old and weighs in at 9kg (almost 20 lbs!), and he’s a big softy.

This is me fonging you.

But then there’s the times he wants what we call “a fonging”– to wrestle, bite, claw, rake, chew, gnaw on us. With that weight behind him, he packs a serious punch.

Photo submitted by: Andrew

I am worn out from all the fonging.

Name: Pumpkin (2)
Location: Unknown

I'll help wash dishes by licking off the tuna scraps. Then I'll bite you.

What makes Pumpkin so mean?

Pumpkin was a stray kitten who came into my apartment, sat down by the fridge, and adopted me. I had no choice in the matter. Now he is 15 lbs. of pure mean kitty power.

I left him alone one weekend overnight and he shredded a roll of paper towels, dumped his watering jug, and tossed his food bowl upside down. That will teach me! Pumpkin was also very stressed recently following a traumatic incident of overturning the parakeet’s cage and bit me on the finger with four sharp teeth. After losing over one week of work and gaining many medical bills, I have learned my lesson and will be a better human owner.

Photo submitted by: Anon