Meankitty.com

Name: Buffy
Location: Cushing, Maine

It’s a good thing the Prunella moniker didn’t stick, or I’d be doing more than JUMPING on the living room table.

What makes Buffy so mean?

Buffy came from the shelter. They’re so good at marketing that I saw her in a cage at my bank (oooo, poor kitty) and immediately HAD to have her, despite my 3 other cats. Unfortunately, we also live near a healthy den of coyotes, 3 pairs of bald eagles and fishers (large cat-loving weasel-like wild Maine critters). Once in a while the General Store has a rash of “Missing Cat” notices.

Buffy looks demonic, but it’s pure bluff. It took her a coupla weeks to get used to me, but now she yowls for butter (hairball problem) and lives on the dining room table. Well-trained, she’s perfectly willing to get off whenever I tell her to, and never gets back up until I leave the room. Originally I named her Prunella de Frump, for obvious reasons, but Buffy finally stuck. Stands for Butt-Ugly Feline.

Submitted by: Judy K (full time staff)

Name: Bufferd
Location: Finger Buffet

Ooh, look, mannie finger snacks.

What makes Bufferd so mean?

This is Bufferd, and she is EXTREMELY mean! When I’m asleep, she bangs on my door and won’t stop. When I finally give in and open the door, she darts away, hides, and repeats the whole thing when I start to fall asleep again. This happens several times a night!

Sometimes she catches mice and puts them in our shoes and stares while we dig them out. She sneezes on me. She throws up in the house and she fights, too. One time she bit the cat next door and it had to have stitches!

Submitted by: Kurtbot

Name: Brighton
Location: Windsor, Ontario

When you unwrap me from this towel, heads are gonna roll, human.

What makes Brighton so mean?

This is Brighton, my Devon Rex. You think he is a cute, cuddly kitty, but no he is a mean kitty. If I move in the night he bites my chin for me to stay still and heaven forbid if I say, “No, Brighton!” That is the end of my night’s sleep.

Brighton loves his mum (me) but no-one else, and when his human brother goes to say hi to him, its a big hiss he gets in return. He loves to scare little kids and adults alike, but for all his peculiar ways he is the love of my life and wouldn’t change one bit of his personality.

Photo submitted by: Jean

Name: Brummie
Location: ??

Ripley’s a traitor to kitty kind….friends with a dog!

What makes the Brumster so mean?

Mr. Brummie came from the cat’s protection league. We did not know what to call him until we found out he had been abandoned in Birmingham so we decided to call him Brummie. At first he was sweet, nervous and quite but now his real personality has come out!!!

No other cat is allowed in the garden. We used to feed a ginger stray that we built a shelter outside for, but he has been chased off by Brummie. I look after my friend’s dog (Pyg) and the other cat Ripley is friends with him. He’s an old dog and doesn’t bother the cats. As soon as Pyg walked in the house Brummie hurled himself at him and tried to latch onto his face. The poor dog didn’t know what was happening. We managed to keep them apart until Pyg needed to go out. As soon as he got out, Brummie came charging through the cat flap and tried to do him in again and continued to stalk him for the next hour he was there.

Brummie seems to think he’s some big tiger in the wild because he likes to try and grab onto your legs from behind and bring you down for the kill. When my boyfriend is away, Brummie always sits at the door to the upstairs because he thinks he is up there. If I try to go near him he hisses and attacks me.

Submitted by: Ang

Name: Brucie
Location: The Boo’s House

When I’m not stalking, yowling, attacking bears and launching myself from armoires,
I am a male model in my spare time.

What makes Brucie Wucie so mean?

This is Bruce. He lives in a big house in High Ridge, MO. Isn’t he lovely? So fluffy and handsome…and a BRAT.

He’s my mum and stepdad’s kitty (at least that’s what they tell themselves) but he doesn’t like anyone. No one is allowed to pick him up, pet him, or even look at him unless he deigns them worthy. But he’s so pretty. It’s so tempting to try to pet him, yes?

If you do, make sure your medical insurance is paid up.

Since I moved in I’ve lost two layers of skin, been stalked and yowled at for no reason, and attacked at the top of the stairs that lead to my basement apartment. He’s even thought about going after Pearl, one of my kitties, but that would require cutting his lounging time short and making the effort to go downstairs.

My other kitty, The Boo, is too busy hiding under the bed to practice her MeanKitty arts right now, so I guess I have to watch the new Master. He’s good, too. His current specialty is launching himself off the TV armoire at unsuspecting passers-by.

If he and the dog get into a full-on battle, I’d have to put my money on Bruce. Actually I think Bruce could take down a fully-grown bear. And that is why you should never go for looks alone.

Submitted by: Deb

Name: Bowie
Location: Knife

I spy…with my yellow eye…no, with my blue eye…no, my yellow eye…

What makes Bowie so mean?

Bowie must frequently be restrained by a screen door, he’s so bad. Especially if there’s another cat around, he becomes possessed and will attack on sight. He also drools a lot when he purrs.

Photo submitted by: Anon

Name: Botsa
Location: California

Actually, I’m a changeling and not even related to those Siamese twits.

What makes Botsa so mean?

She was the only black kitty in a litter of Siamese and thus became the literal “black sheep” of the family. All the others would stalk and beat her up, so she turned into this feral cat from hell and will randomly attack you at any given moment. Sometimes you’ll be petting her, and she’ll be purring, and all of a sudden she’ll flip on her back and scream, “RREEEERR REERERRER REREREERR!!!” and slice you up.

Submitted by: Devin

Name: Bootstrap
Location: Texas

I, uh, may or may not have done something stinky at the other end
of the box while you were not giving me attention.

What makes Bootstrap so mean?

When Kid Sis found Bootstrap huddled under the bushes at our country church last month, he was a pathetic, mewling mess. The second she brought Bootstrap home, he came to me full of purrs and innocent kitten looks.

After he spent a few days adjusting to his new domain, he decided that he no longer had to act like an innocent baby.

Bootstrap is an attention hog. I cannot go to the bathroom without a mewling, screaming fur baby outside the door. If I sit at my computer, Bootstrap is on my lap. If I get in bed, Bootstrap curls up around my head. He claws me if I move too much for his liking.

As soon as I wake up, I’m going to scare this cat right off. Yep.
Juuuuust as soon as I take this nap.

He also bullies the other kitties. Even the really mean ones. He somehow manages to get Trouble to leave her kitty blanket and curl up in the corner – without even touching her. He scares off the bigger cats – without even touching them. I suspect his Demonic Kitten Breath drives them away.

When you dare to go to sleep (read: stop giving him attention), Bootstrap gets his revenge. Last night, like a few nights before, he took a dump on my notepads. A few days before that, he spent goodness knows how much time shredding my cigarettes. And when he’s really upset, he knocks everything off the kitchen table.

Submitted by: Sarah

Name: Bootsie
Location: Surrey, BC

What stupid toys. Where’s a nice tax return to play with?

What makes Bootsie so mean?

My name is Bootsie, which is very misleading, as I am the ultimate mean kitty. My grandma and auntie call me devil kitty, and I rule the house. Any attempt to pick me up is met with claws and teeth. I enjoy pretending I like houseguests, and when they get sucked into petting me, I attack with claws and teeth!

When Grandma E was babysitting, I waited until the middle of the night and evicted her from my bed with claws and teeth. Yep, again with the claws and teeth.

I think I’ll attack you with claws and teeth, how about it?

For the Mom-slave, I behave a little better, but when that guy tries to roll over in bed, I gnaw on his toes until he scoots over. I also shred any paper or cardboard I can get my claws on. I especially like it when the paper was important, like Mom-slave’s term paper I completely destroyed minutes before she had to leave for school. I’m also hell on tax returns.

I don’t really care for the dozens of toys the slaves buy me because I prefer stuff I can shred and rip into bits. As mentioned–important slave stuff. Another hobby is annoying the neighbors downstairs by climbing into the cupboard and throwing cans onto the floor until one of the slaves gives me a treat.

Submitted by: Amber

Name: Booger
Location: Beast’s House

Actually, this is my happy face, not my bitey face.

What makes Booger so mean?

This is Booger. If you remember, he was the one whose “manhood” was bitten by The Beast and required stitches. Although I didn’t actually see Boog’s face when Beast sank his teeth into the land down under, I can imagine that this was pretty close to what it must have looked like. OUCH!

Sadly, Booger recently passed away, closely following his handsome brother, Mr. Phillips. He’s safe now from the jaws of The Beast and drinking all of the fresh, cool toilet water in Heaven.

Meankitty’s note: But what makes him so MEAN?? Toilet drinking isn’t mean!

Submitted by: Susan