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Gallery: Zoe Hilton

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Name: Zoe
Location: Raleigh, NC

Zoe is a meankitty

Go directly to my litterbox. Do not pass the fridge. Do not collect 200 dollars. Unless you want to get me a scrap of ham. In that case, leave it under the foot of a bed by 1 am sharp.

What makes Zoe so mean?

Zoe was an orphan who wandered onto our front porch, infested with parasites and half-starved. We have no idea how long she was on her own, but the vet said that she was very anemic and would have died if we hadn’t saved her. We named her Zoe because she is a survivor like Zoe in Firefly, and because she has black stripes around her neck like Zoe’s necklace.

She doesn’t trust anyone in the house except my 12yo daughter, who is her “mommy.” Zoe loves her with all her little black kitty heart, but the rest of us can just go straight to he…r litterbox. But she is not above taunting us with her cuteness, laying out of arm’s reach and looking adorable, wriggling on her back as if she wants to be petted. And when we reach for her ZING! she bolts away, chortling, “You will not have me, ugly two-legged troglodytes!”

Her kitty superpower is invisibility. No guest to our home has ever seen her. Most of the time, we don’t even see her. Just kitty footprints on top of the stove, or the sound of desperate scratching as she tries to cover yet another of Kaylee’s endless poos. Kaylee is a more recent addition to the family. They get along well enough, but Kaylee eats everything in sight, spurring Zoe to employ her finely-honed scavenging skills from her earlier life. That, and her invisibility, means that bits of ham and bread crusts often disappear from our plates, right under our noses.

Zoe and Kaylee have cat mindpowers

Meankitties Zoe and Kaylee can disrupt a camera’s focus…with their BRAINS!

Zoe’s motto is semper pro mater – “Always for mother.” She decloaks at the foot of my daughter’s bed every night, and I sometimes find her being clutched like a teddy bear at 2am. It is the only time I am able to touch her, when she is safe in her mother’s arms.

Submitted by: Author JL Hilton (http://jlhilton.com)