Posts Tagged ‘attack cats’

Gallery: Abby 2 (Abz)

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

Name: Abby (Abz)
Location: Unknown

Abz the Cat

Sometimes I get tired of the constant attacking and stretch out my whacking muscles.

What makes Abz so mean?

This is our mean as kitty, Abby. I’m not going to lie and tell you that she is the world’s meanest kitty, because she is. It is no lie.

She has a massive superiority complex and is totally arrogant. She constantly stares at you in disbelief thinking “My god, could a being get any dumber than a human?!” When not staring at you in contempt, she is either demanding you worship her, feed her, or sometimes both.

Abby aka Abz

If you take my photo, I will attack you.

If approached too suddenly, Abby will attack you. If you are too loud around her, she will attack you. If you pat her incorrectly, she will attack you. In fact, there’s not a great deal you can do that won’t result in a attack except stay away from her.

When she catches things, she throws them against walls and furniture until they die. Then she attacks you. I have a 3-inch scar on my abdomen, not from a cute little kitty scratch, but a vile laceration delivered with precision that bled profusely.

Nevertheless, she is adored by us.

Photos submitted by: Randall

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Advice: Arm Attacker

Friday, March 28th, 2014

Dear Meankitty,

Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try this on the upcoming baby! What do I do?

Signed,
Gelibeanr

***

Dear Gelibeanr,

It’s because you’re a sitting duck and duck tastes gooooood. Mmmm, duck.

Sincerely,
MK

PS: No advice on how to integrate cats & babies until the twain actually meet. Big D and I are exceptionally well-mannered with the small slaves. The food/door opening slave is usually subject to much more “loving attention” than a baby.

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Gallery: Hammy

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Name: Hammy
Location: Your Nightmares

Hammy the attack cat

I'm mad...and I'm bad...

What makes Hammy so mean?

Hammy is my earless cat. He has nearly killed a schnauzer dog named Jorge that made the mistake of visiting the house. Hammy bludgeoned Jorge into my fireplace and ripped the dog’s nose a long open wound that connected to his mouth. There are still blood stains on my ceiling from that beating. I had to mop up all of the blood and wring out the mop repeatedly. Jorge’s owner Blackie also received deep gashes to his arms and hands and face in his futile attempt to save his dog.

Hammy is a meankitty

...and I'm dangerous to know.

Hammy has also put a human that we live with named Claire in the hospital after she dared bringing home a stray cat, foolish woman. Hammy has also dominated fights with raccoons, skunks, and a large sheepdog will never, EVER, set foot in our yard again.

Photo submitted by: Keith

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Gallery: Pamplemousse

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Name: Pamplemousse
Location: Kansas

Pamplemousse the Meankitty

Come on, come on, pet me, I dare you!

What makes Pamp so mean?

Pamplemousse came in to our lives about October 2002, when my boyfriend’s co-worker moved and could no longer keep her. She was 11 weeks old. Of course we fell in love with her adorableness and indulged her little habits like chewing on our hands and biting/scratching us in play.

Now she is bigger and even more vicious when we play with her. You cannot put your hand near here without risking serious harm. She likes to chew and scratch on the furniture, bed, blankets etc. Her most recent torture involves playing in her litter box and leaping out of it, thus spraying the room with loose litter, and no matter how much we tell her not to, she seems to take particular delight in doing this as we get ready for work in the morning.

Photo submitted by: Meg

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Gallery: Kali-Mar

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

Name: Kali-Mar
Location: Australia

I'm a princess ALL the time. Everyone knows human slaves must be given specific, simple directions or they won't understand.

What makes Kali so mean?

This is Kali-Mar, also known as Kali Monster, or PyschoKitty. She came from a pet shop weighing just 500g (block of butter size) with a huge ego and megalomania. When she is nice, she is lovely. Most times she is a demanding little princess who yowls, squeaks, grunts (can’t meow) and then dives in with fang and claw. And because she is a dainty little cat, she has teeth like razors. Her motto: “I want it, and I want it RIGHT NOW!!”

Mid 2011 Update–Kalimar decided she needed to showcase her awesomeness some more and submitted the following images and information:

Kalimar was a mean kitten

Do I *LOOK* like butter? Or am I going to EAT your butter? You betta believe it!

Although she now appears in the bathroom every morning for her compulsory 10 minutes of scritching (ears, neck & chin please), she counters this with the almost obligatory bunny-kick session. (If you don’t know what that is, rub your cat’s tummy – it will attempt to disembowel you with the bunny-kick manuevour!)

Kalimar is a meankitty

I said, STOP LOOKING AT ME!

As she has got older, she has evening manic sessions where she suddenly and viciously hates everyone, hisses and spits, and yells “DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME!” before screaming off to hide under the furniture. Don’t attempt to pick her up in this mood, she will shred you.

Magically, she appears in the morning angelic and looking for scritches and off we go again.

Kalimar computer kitty

Now is the time for scritches. You shall get off the computer and give them to me, or else!

Other Names: TK Tiniest Kitten In The Known Universe (when she was very young), Miss CrankyPants, Psycho-Kitty, PuppyCat, Kali-Wali, and You Bloody BitchCat from Hell!

Photo submitted by: Mala

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Gallery: Bagheera

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

Name: Bagheera
Location: Louisville, KY

Bagheera

Hold still, I missed a spot! Of your skin.

What makes Bagheera so mean?

Bagheera has always been a feisty little tike, and growing up with a huge, 120 pound, rough playing German Shepherd did NOT help. He never played with other, more “chill” cats (aka “regular” cats) so even now that he’s older, Bagheera is used to the thick skinned dog he rough housed with before….which means my not-so-tough skin is sometimes in pieces.

Sometimes it’s to intentionally hurt you, but mostly the boy just plays too hard and gets people hurt. He especially likes to stalk you around corners, attack your ankles (which usually leaves you fallen on the floor) with both teeth AND claws, then speeds away as fast as possible to hide under the bed where you can’t catch him to wring his neck!!! Unfortunately, his mother (myself) can’t help but be obsessed with the little thing for whatever reason, not even I can figure it out. His nickname to everyone else is “Crack Kitty” because his eyes get so huge and crazy looking, and that’s when you know to run away.

Photo submitted by: Rebekah

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Gallery: Baby

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Name: Baby
Location: Houston, TX

Baby the Meankitty

Human nose flesh is nummy to my tummy!

What makes Baby so mean?

Baby is very sweet, will fetch anything, eat my hair, and will love anyone to death (keyword: death). I taught him this cute trick of running away with the toilet paper, and I am quite sorry. 

But how is a sweet, cute kitty so mean? If you are not giving him enough attention, then you’re in trouble. Look out for flying black cat that can launch himself anywhere at any time at anything. He is the alpha male in the house and used to getting what he wants. The others cats just bow down to him. I have a v-shaped split on the top and bottom of my right nostril from not waking up early enough to give him enough attention. Right now, he’s ripping through my hubby’s computer stuff. But he’s my baby. I wouldn’t give him up (or the others) for the world.

Photo submitted by: Amy

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