Posts Tagged ‘attack cat’

Gallery: Jack Henry

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

Name: Jack Henry
Location: Unknown

Jack Henry is mean

Does this face look horrible to you? It does? Good. Mission accomplished.

What makes Jack so mean?

Jack Henry is sure a horrible cat. We got him at the pound maybe 5 years ago, and he duped us into taking him home. He was so sweet and kind (even though he was really sick and sneezed huge chunks of snot on us) we just had to take him.

Jack Biter

I don't HOG the bed, I CAT the bed. Come on!

We brought him home to be quarantined from our other cat, Cassidy. but soon found he wasn’t as nice as he seemed. He bites, attacks, sleeps on your face, and hogs the bed. On several occasions I have come home and found important papers shredded to bits on my bed, with little JH sleeping with paper shreds all over him. We call him “Jack the Ripper” for this reason.

Photo submitted by: Cathy

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Advice: Psychotic Benson

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

I have a deeply psychologically disturbed, very meankitty called Benson. He’s always been strange, since he was a baby. My specific problem is that every now and again he attacks me very forcefully with a bite and scratches on the arm or leg. It’s always out of the blue and is never the result of anything I’ve done to him. Several times it’s been in the middle of the night while I’ve been in bed, last week it was just after he’d had a cuddle on my knee, and a few weeks ago it was when I was opening a door to let him out. He knows what he’s doing because it’s a hit and run type of attack, but he never shows any remorse! How can I stop him from doing this?

Signed,
Annie

***

Dear Annie,

You can’t. On the plus side, I think it’s cute.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Advice: Mellow My Kitty

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

Dear Meankitty,

My kitty is EVIL… she attacks your legs when you walk by and you can pet her for all of 5 seconds before she bites or scratches you. She is almost 10 months old. How can I get her to be a bit more mellow???

Signed,
Angie

***

Dear Angie,

Mellow? Who wants a mellow cat? Meankitty advises that you wear thicker denim jeans or perhaps chaps. Either that, or keep her hopped up on catnip so that she spends her time alternately chasing imaginary bugs on the wall or sleeping it off.

You might also be interested to know that one of the requirements for new cats to fulfill in order to get into the highly esteemed SOHC (Society of House Cats) is random damage and destruction on their humans. Some cats go that route, some go the random damage and destruction on their humans’ possessions route, and some do both. There are other ways to get into SOHC, but this is one of the more time-honored and traditional methods. I myself chose the path less traveled, the one of “random acts of weirdness and running about”, in order to obtain my membership. I was also required to learn to climb a doorframe and levitate in mid-air, so this route is only for the very determined.

Signed,
Meankitty

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