Gallery: Harry

March 2nd, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Harry
Location: Melbourne, AU

Harry

Nothing can get free from my giant Teddy Bear paws! Least of all a small, tasty inanimate object.

Meet Harry. Harry is a Norwegian Forest cat who is more civilised than Marley, who also lives with us.

Harry is naughty because he
-likes to go to sleep by using your finger as a dummy and pinching it between his small teeth–not his fangs–this hurts and he likes to do this for half an hour at a time!!
-holds your arm with his huge “teddy bear” paws when he wants a cuddle!!
-is a garbage guts
-his walk is like a stately progress and he can take ages to come inside!!
-who gives naughty Marley as good as he gets!!!

Photos submitted by: Jemima and Veronica

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Gallery: Daisy

March 2nd, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Daisy
Location: Bellevue, WA

Daisy is a meankitty

I am licking my lips at the thought of tasting your flesh!

What makes Daisy so mean?

This is Daisy. She is not very nice. Do not look at, inch towards or otherwise annoy her as you will be punished. Severely. And don’t even think about touching her.

If she jumps onto your lap, do not be seduced into petting her. This is her infamous trap. If you give in to her charms, you will pay dearly.

To most, it is worth it.

Photo submitted by: Brett

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Gallery: Mary Jane Lulabelle

March 1st, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Mary Jane Lulabelle, aka Monkeybutt
Location: Raleigh, NC

Mary Jane Lulabelle

The game is actually called

What makes MJ so mean?

Mary Jane Lulabelle is earning her status as a mean kitty by using her human’s belly as spring board for leaping over the back of the couch, cornering and biting her feline housemate for no apparent reason, meowing incessantly for cat nip or treats, sharpening her claws on any important papers her human is dumb enough to leave out and waiting to yak up hairballs until her human has guests.

Monkeybutt

If it weren't for my fur, this would be the perfect disguise!

She earned her alias, Monkey Butt, by leaping around the room, using light fixtures and furniture to play rousing games of “the floor is lava” while her human is trying to sleep.

Photo submitted by: Holly

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Gallery: Baby (3)

March 1st, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Baby (3)
Location: High Up

Baby is a meankitty

You know, my tail is better than a dryer sheet for removing static. Ha ha ha! Not really, it just makes things worse. But it sure is funny.

What makes Baby so mean?

My mean kitty is named Baby. She is two years old.

When I get on the computer she will jump up on it and hang her tail down across the screen. When I ask her to move it she just wags it back and forth. When I move it she turns around and scratches my hand, or grabs my hand and bites it, then she puts her paw down across the screen.

Baby sleeps in my bathroom sink and bites me when I try to get her out. When I turn on the water she bites at it but stays in the sink.

When I walk across the floor she runs in front of me, jumps up, flips, and lunges at me when I pass her.

Photo submitted by: Della

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Gallery: Cody (2)

February 28th, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: CODY
Location: KITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM

Cody is a meankitty

Pardon me, I'm busy thinking of some revenge and how to serve it cold.

What makes Cody so mean?

Several years ago, when one of my two cats died, the other started showing definite signs of depression. He barely touched his food, didn’t want to play, etc. I consulted my vet, and he suggested getting another cat immediately. In fact, he just happened to have one!

The adorable little tuxedo kitty they brought out was six months old. He was cradled in the receptionist’s arms and blinked at me with bright green eyes, as innocent as he could be.

“Oh, isn’t he cute?” I said, leaning in for a closer inspection.

At which point the adorable little tuxedo kitty reared back for leverage and took a swipe at me that would’ve taken my face off if I hadn’t moved. Quickly.

“Don’t worry.” The vet smiled. “He’ll be fine once he gets used to you.”

I’ve always loved a challenge.

I named him Cody—after Cody Jarrett, the psychotic killer in Cagney’s film “White Heat”. Trust me. It fit. What the vet DIDN’T tell me was that Cody had been returned to his mini-shelter three times by others, and his file permanently labeled “anti-social”. Uh-huh.

Never mind the fact that he never did get along with the other cat, who loved EVERYBODY. Or that he refused to be petted or accept any show of affection.

Cody is a meankitty

Don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry.

There’ve been incidents over the years. He’s earned his gansta rep. One example is the Godfather Goldfish Caper he led, somehow snaring one of my poor goldfish from the depths of a twenty-gallon tank sitting five feet off the ground. I came home to find the remains laid out at the threshold of my door, not unlike the horse’s head in the film.

Or when I went to pick him up at the vet’s after a blood test and had the receptionist look at me with horror, saying, “Oh, that’s YOUR cat.” Apparently, Cody took umbrage at having his cage set on top of a dog’s, and somehow managed to contort his body enough to claw the poor sick creature’s nose.

And there is the fact that he believes in serving his revenge cold. Yes, revenge. Chastise Cody with a loud, harsh word or squirt from the water bottle? He’ll freeze. Give you that cold, green psycho stare. And walk away. But there will be retribution. Wait for it. For my first lesson, he bided his time for nearly two hours, so I’d nearly forgotten the incident, to hide around the corner of the stairs and reach out at just the right moment to claw and trip me.

I survived. I learned. Law of the jungle.

And did I mention how much I love the little monster?

Photo submitted by: Raine Weaver
(Raine is an author: http://www.raineweaver.com  and she and Cody got interviewed by Meankitty at the blog.)

ETA: Cody is no longer with us but his meanness lives on, says Raine. RIP Cody!

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Gallery: Pearl

February 27th, 2017  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Pearl
Location: Ohio

Pearl is a meankitty

Who gave you permission to touch me??

What makes Pearl so mean?

I got Pearl when she was 7 weeks old. She started out as the adorable loving kitty, but then one night she just turned evil! She’s now three years old and over the course of time, we have introduced two new cats, a bird, a puppy and a ferret to our household. Needless to say, she’s not all that thrilled about it.

Heres a list of the mean things she does:

1. She puts her feet over the food bowl to make sure she gets all she wants before anyone else. She will even inspect the other food to make sure we didn’t give anyone else something different, and if we did, she eats it too!

2. She’s especially evil to my little brother; she hisses and growls and bites him every chance she gets.

3. She doesn’t like company. People always comment on what a beautiful cat I have, but I have to warn them not to pet her, because she bites! Needless to say they don’t believe me. I actually have a sign on the door that says not to pet the white cat!

4. She teases the dog by sitting up high where he can’t reach her, then he barks and barks…..and we have to scold him for it. I think she’s secretly laughing inside every time.

5. She lays on the middle of the kitchen table, and keyboard.

6. She sits in front of the family room TV so we can’t see! I tell her over and over again that she isn’t invisible, but she doesn’t believe me or doesn’t care!

7. She trips us on the stairs, stares at us in the bathroom, constantly meows at 4 am (even when she’s not in heat) and thinks our full cups of soda, milk, coffee, are her own personal drinking dishes.

8. And what is up with that constant scratching on the wall next to the litter box?? That’s not how you cover your poop!

9. She gets along great with the bird and ferret….go figure!!

10. She won’t let me sleep on my own bed, and when she does, it’s only temporary. I soon wake because she’s biting my hands or feet.

Photo submitted by: Melissa

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Gallery: Loki (2)

January 29th, 2016  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Loki (2)
Location: Adso’s house

Loki is a meankitten

Cattitude--I've got it in spades! Um. What are spades, anyway?

Why is Loki so mean?

Hi!! My name is Loki and I am so happy to meet you. My story of how I got here is kind of fun, or so says Karrin, my new slave.

See, there have been rumours going around with the animals near where I used to be, that if you crossed the busy zoom concrete, there was a human who would fall in love with you and take you home. I thought, “WOW! I am cute and little, bet I could win that lotto!!” So one day I braved the zoom and went into the big dark place with all the zoomers (slave here, that’s cars to us). Ok slave, go away I got this…so anyways – I wandered about and saw lots of humans but I knew they weren’t the magickal one, so I stayed away. I knew who I was looking for, and sorry 2 legs, you ain’t it.

Then………there she was! She had a ‘SUCKER’ tattoo only animals and kids selling cookies can see. I called to her – very quietly so no one else heard. I saw her turn around and look!! It WAS her, OMGs!!! It’s TRUE! Only she could hear me! I watched her look all OVER then turn back around and say, “Did you hear that?!”

The other human (not a magickal one, just one of those ordinary ones) said, “It was a mockingbird.”

Loki is a meankitten

Do I look like a mockingbird to you? I EAT mockingbirds for lunch. Um. what are mockingbirds?

I decided to be a bit more aggressive in getting her attention. I meowed a wee louder and decided to show myself, wandering between two zoomers. She heard me, looked in disbelief (it was funny, that look), and ran over going, “OOOO! Look at YOU! How cute are YOU! Oh crap, Jeff is gonna kill me!!” I let her pick me up and I threw in some purrs and biscuit-making to show how adorable I was. She cuddled me and took me inside to her office. There she played with me and everyone came to see my handsome self.

Her boss said, “I think you like animals more than people.”

“Well DUH,” I thought. “Look at ME, look at YOU – no contest! Pfft, please.”

Loki is sleeping

All I had to do was break out the belly of cute and the humans were goners!

Then then then (this is the BEST part), she took me to this GINORMOUS castle!! She fed me and showed me around and I met these 3 IG’s: Tor, Reno and Grayson, whom I promptly made my subjects with some hiss and swipe and awesome kitty ninja moves (HEEYAH!). Tor (he’s a GIANT!) cowered and looked sad, so I let him be my friend. I met this Jeff person whom I ensnared with my cuteness, since I’d heard Karrin say, “If Jeff doesn’t like you what will I do with you?” Please – no prob, I mean LOOK at me! Yeah say it – awwwww!!! That’s right.

Then I met the famous Adso, who was the inspiration for the tale of the magick human. WOW! My hero! He told me it was all true and I had just inherited the kingdom, like he did and Adair after him (I like Adair, she cuddles with me). And that all of us – the 3 Ruling Class (what? We ARE!) and our subjects: the 3 IG’s, and a Bearded Dragon named Shinki – heard the tale passed around far and wide and found our forever home. Adso says I have to learn SOHC rules and I am not quite sure what those are, but they sound FUN!

So watch out world. I am Loki, the IBTK (itty bitty Trouble kitty), with ninja moves and I WILL be a meankitty to fear (after my food and a nap).

Photos submitted by: Karrin

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Gallery: Picasso

January 28th, 2016  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Picasso
Location: NC

Picasso is mean

You're looking at me...and I don't LIKE it!

What makes Picasso so mean?

Here is a list of Picasso’s likes and dislikes:

Likes: Howling all night to keep her mom and dad slaves awake, slamming the cabinet doors, standing under your feet so you trip, fighting with her sister under the bed in the middle of the night, meowing in your face and then running away, spilling paint on the floor than walking through it, playing in the fireplace, hiding in the shower in the guest bathroom and scaring people while they use the toilet and the idea of the world blowing up and only her and a few cockroaches being left.

Picasso in cave

Ursula likes undies....I like my little cave!

Dislikes: Being looked at, talked to, breathed on, basically EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

Picasso lives with Ursula.

Photo submitted by: Chris and Callie

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Gallery: Miss Treat

January 27th, 2016  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Miss Treat
Location: Bremerton, WA

Miss Treat Scares Burglars

One can only IMAGINE what Miss Treat is saying here, but it's not very nice.

What makes Miss Treat so mean?

We call her that because that’s what she does to everybody. Her people. The other cats. The very air vibrating across the air and into your ear.

Treat is one rotten screaming bitch cat. Pick her up, and she tears window-glass apart with her howling. Leave her alone, and she tears into the other cats. Don’t give her her way — to be let out of the house, to be fed, to get her place on the rug — and the air-raid siren starts. She could scare Stukas away. Pray she won’t decide that the Mean Screaming isn’t working and try the Seductive Screaming. Artificial sweetness was never meant to be at this volume.

Miss Treat is mean

In the door...out the door...in the door...out the door...etc.

She is a big fake, or so she would have you believe. Pick her up and ignore the screaming, and she gets all sweet and gooey, all purry and kissy. But let your fingers get near her mouth — and you’ll have a reason for screaming.

This cat can scare burglars.

Photos submitted by: Donna B.

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Gallery: Zelda

January 25th, 2016  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Zelda
Location: Unknown

Zelda is mean

This thing about me attacking "without reason". It's a DOG, you palooka. That's reason enough.

What makes Zelda so mean?

Zelda, the Queen Kitty, and everyone, especially our boxer Norman, knows it. When he attempted to overthrow her as ruler of the house, she made sure his face bore the scars of his failed attempt. Now both our dogs live in fear. Zelda is so mean she harasses them endlessly, sneaking up on them and attacking without reason. Not to mention the suffering of the poor birds and rabbits in our neighborhood whose parts I have found everywhere, including in my van. She is definitely one mean kitty!

Photo submitted by: Tamia H.

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