Gallery: Screecher

August 7th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Screecher
Location: Stockton, CA

Screecher wants a drink

Feelin peckish. Think I'll have a little snack.

What makes Screecher so mean?

Here’s a meankitty for you. This is Screecher. This cat is a wild barn kitty from the tough town of Stockton, CA. Stockton is to California like the Bronx is to N.Y.

Screecher bites

The fish wasn't enough...think I'll have a bigger snack.

Screecher has lots of pent-up anger. She tries to eat bicycle tires and anything you put in front of her. If you accidentally leave the food out, she’ll eat it all! She’ll drink your coffee if you’re not looking, eat your pantyhose and socks, and swipe at your every foot step!

Screecher’s nick-name is “Aqua Kitty” because she likes water…especially the shower and the bath tub!

Screecher in the bath

Fact...or faked? Perhaps we need the SyFy channel to figure that out.

This cat even has a rap song written about her. (My name is Screecha…and I’m going to eatcha…)

Photo submitted by: Guy

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Gallery: Tazmania

August 6th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Tazmania
Location: Dubai

Tazmania the meankitty

I've got two colored eyes to match my two sides: mean... and evil!

What makes Tazmania so mean?

Meet Taz(maniac). He decided to come live with us, take over our lives and destroy our home when he was only 7 weeks. I am convinced he is schizzo – if he is picked up and loved he will hug and kiss you back, purring madly. Back on the ground, you are barely allowed one stroke before he is on you with all four feet, claws fully extended + a mouth full of teeth. He is afraid of NOTHING, but he does dislike bum baths in the extreme.

To name the best example of his fearlessness, I can run a vacuum cleaner up and down his body and he just lies there; he will even give it a slap when I take it away! This has made deterring him from using our Persian rug as a scratching base harder, since a spray from the water bottle only stops him at the time. Almost immediately he will come back again and rip up the rug.

Tazmania is mean

Uh-oh...you look like you want to give me a bum bath!

Taz is also harness-trained and loves walks and car rides. He is put out at the moment because it is 50 degrees centigrade + in Dubai at the moment so walks are out of the question and he is stuck in the apartment — reduced to chattering his teeth at the local pigeons (I put bread out to attract them for him).

He follows me around the house all day but his real adoration is reserved for my husband. (Little b@$t@rd! Who feeds you, hey?)

Photo submitted by: Nicole

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Gallery: Adso

August 5th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Adso
Location: Formerly Allen, TX. Now, Cat Heaven, with all the toes and kitten chow he wants!

Adso is tired

I am tired from hitching a ride in an engine compartment en route to stopping a bomb across country, pardon the yawn!

What makes Adso so mean?

I, Adso, showed up in the parking garage at my new human slave’s work, having hitched a ride in someone’s engine compartment. I was tiny and brave. My new human slave {the one with the invisible ‘SUCKER’ tattoo on her forehead only animals and little girls selling cookies can see}, brought a big bag kitten chow the next day and set about trying to tame me. She thought: ‘He’s a kitten, no prob’.

MUHAHAHAHA!!!

Little did she know. This process took about 4 months of daily visits Monday thru Friday during her breaks and lunch [I'm stubborn]. But with well thought out treats for me like rare grilled salmon, bison burger bits, bison steak [rare, of course], and yummy kitty bonkers, I finally decided she was the right sucker to come home with.

Having grown up in the wild, I have a habit of bringing new friends home. Small ones to be sure, but fuzzy things like baby bunnies and sparrows. It’s extremely fun to watch her react to the “present” I have waiting. As I barrel past her into my castle, I hear ‘ADSO!’. With a huge sigh, she picks up the offering and does what ever she does with it. I don’t care what she does with it since I have had my fun. She calls me a thrill killer — how insensitive. I am just being NICE and sharing. Humans. When will they learn?

Adso the meankitty

They…are…getting…me! So I will get them back.

I am also a fierce toe attacker. No toes are safe when I am about………those naked digits just get me.

Photo submitted by: Karrin

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Gallery: Funky

August 4th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Funky
Location: Scotland

Funky from Scotland

Hey, don't look at me like that, she had catnip in her pocket!

What makes Funky so mean?

Funky came our way when she was about 4 months old. The first time I saw her she was sitting on my couch looking sweet and innocent. When I sat next to her, she came over and took a big bite of my ass. I knew then my fate was sealed and she would be my chief for life.

Quite the hunter, she has decimated the local mouse population and just loves baby birds, especially when they have ickle feathers. She doesn’t kill for the hell of it, she eats them too. She also does a fine business of bullying the other cats locally.

Not a lap cat, she very rarely gets close to her human subjects. She growls like a dog (probably louder actually) and is hard as nails. Her claws are along the lines of Wolverine in X-Men, fully extendable and retractable in a split second, as my hands and arms would testify.

Photo submitted by: Linda

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Advice: Kitty Hog

August 3rd, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

I have 3 cats all under 1 year. One of them (Orion) loves to eat anything and everything and often eats more than his fair share of food. As a result he is getting heavy. We have all of them on Iams light food but that does little to help when he eats the most of the 3. How can we help slim him down without punishing the others or him on the process?

Sincerely,
Fred

***

Dear Fred,

Considering the massive size of our cat D and the fact that our situation is much the same, right down to the brand of cat food, we don’t know what to tell you. Perhaps getting a watergun and chasing Orion all over the house all the time to increase his exercise quotient would help.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Gabriel

August 2nd, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Gabriel
Location: NC

Gabriel at rest

Note the supercilious expression... Not to be confused with supersilly.

What makes Gabriel so mean?

Gabriel isn’t even a year old but I suspect is gifted mentally. He enjoys watching movies with me, reads Cat Fancy, Cosmopolitan and The Purpose Driven Life. At least he confiscated the book from my personal library and has never returned it!

Unfortunately most of the time Gabriel uses his intelligence for evil, not good. He has decided (after reading Cosmo) that he will be the ONLY man of the house. When any male friends enter the apartment, Gabriel launches a full attack of hisses, bites, and he loves to trip (he sent my friend crashing into the dining room table by strategically placing himself under his feet while he was carrying food). Gabriel doesn’t quit the harassment until blood is drawn and the male intruder leaves.

Gabriel then punishes me for daring to invite men into his castle. The punishment can last for days and is both psychological and physical. He waits until I am asleep and bolts underneath the covers, puncturing my feet with his teeth. If he doesn’t have a taste for flesh that evening, he spends the whole night howling at the moon like a coyote.

Gabriel with more sneer

It's actually the only one I've got (supercilious). Mama always said, watch out or your face will freeze that way. Truth!

Gabriel insists on wet food at precisely 6:00 am every morning. If I am not up, he cuddles next to my face and purrs. He fools me every time because I think he is being lovey, but if I dare drift back to sleep he bites my nose HARD. He has drawn blood. If that doesn’t scare me out of bed, he comes back and bites my lip.

I work from home, and like a small child, Gabriel doesn’t understand quiet time. I can always count on him to open the kitchen cabinets and remove all the pots and pans onto the kitchen floor when I am busy. He then moves into the bedroom and systematically knocks over perfume bottles, hair brushes, books and anything I have on the dresser. His favorite seems to be the cd tower as it makes the loudest noise when it comes crashing down.

If I had a dollar for every day that I had to work typing with one hand because he was asleep on my arm, I would be rich! I don’t dare move him though; I know too well his revenge will come later in the night when I am fast asleep…

Photo submitted by: Tia

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Gallery: Edloe

August 1st, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Edloe
Location: the closet

Edloe the Meankitty

I like to get in the closet and shed on my human slave's carefully dry-cleaned clothing, too. You should try it, it's fun!

What makes Edloe so mean?

Edloe is a 10 year-old grumpy glutton of a cat, having gone from a standoffish and aloof wallflower to a possessive and grouchy blob of fur and attitude since her natural mother passed on a few years back.

She now spends her few waking hours bossing around the other three cats and the two humans she owns. Once any of her rivals goes outside for a walk, she plops herself by the back door to growl and swat at them if they try to come back inside. She also bosses the others around the moment when fresh food is placed in the bowls.

The moment my wife heads off to the kitchen or bathroom during a movie, she comes back to find Edloe’s stolen her spot in the big comfy chair and refuses to give up space. The same goes for the couch…the value of any spot is measured by how much somebody else wants it.

Prime real-estate is the bed. If any other cat wants to be the bedcat, she either drives them away from the bed or rattles the blinds to annoy the humans into letting her have her way. Once she’s in place as bedcat, she shoves the humans aside to maximize her sprawl-space.

Photo submitted by: LS

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Gallery: Zeerox

July 31st, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Zeerox
Location: Dallas, The Netherlands

Zeerox is maybe a meankitty

I don't think being angry about this qualifies me for Meankitty. Somebody please put me on the Nicekitty site! I'm so sweet I didn't deserve this!

What makes Zeerox so mean?

He gets really mad when I dip him for fleas and does bad things.

Photo submitted by: Myranya

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Gallery: Violent Bob

July 30th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Violent Bob
Location: Bristol, England

Violent Bob is violent

Blood looks so striking and artistic on my white, white fur.

What makes Bob so mean?

Bob, when this photo was taken, was only eight weeks old but showing every sign of living up to his moniker. His favorite activities? Drawing blood and biting the ears of his brother Vic, sometimes simultaneously. He also loves clawing my back.

Photo submitted by: Jim

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Gallery: T (Ms. not Mr.)

July 29th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: T
Location: Philly

T is a meankitty

Actually I quit peeing on the rugs, walls and radiators when those jerks were no longer around to blame it on.

What makes T so mean?

T doesn’t pee on the rugs, walls, radiators and, occasionally, me – that was the two boys who now live outside. She doesn’t lurk in the closet to leap out on the other cat and any misplaced humans who might want to go from their bedroom to the bathroom. Instead, she howls at night from the top of the stairs hoping we’ll encourage her to run past the closet door in which the *other* cat (my partner’s) might be lurking.

She doesn’t drink from our water glasses, nor does she attack human toes – see “cat, other” above

She does flinch and run when my partner tries to pick her up, which happens eleventy times a day because my partner forgets T is not to be picked up – and also bounces down the stairs, jumps around and is generally scary. [Meankitty's note: I am unsure if Cheryl is referencing T or her partner with the stair bouncing and general scariness. Probably T but it's more amusing to think it's her partner.] T isn’t being mean; we suspect she has an abuse history before she adopted me.

T’s primary claim to meankittiness is this: she has learned the one paw from the official mean kitty. And she uses it … continuously … when we’re in bed … sleeping … or otherwise occupied.

Photo submitted by: Cheryl

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