Gallery: Edloe

August 1st, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Edloe
Location: the closet

Edloe the Meankitty

I like to get in the closet and shed on my human slave's carefully dry-cleaned clothing, too. You should try it, it's fun!

What makes Edloe so mean?

Edloe is a 10 year-old grumpy glutton of a cat, having gone from a standoffish and aloof wallflower to a possessive and grouchy blob of fur and attitude since her natural mother passed on a few years back.

She now spends her few waking hours bossing around the other three cats and the two humans she owns. Once any of her rivals goes outside for a walk, she plops herself by the back door to growl and swat at them if they try to come back inside. She also bosses the others around the moment when fresh food is placed in the bowls.

The moment my wife heads off to the kitchen or bathroom during a movie, she comes back to find Edloe’s stolen her spot in the big comfy chair and refuses to give up space. The same goes for the couch…the value of any spot is measured by how much somebody else wants it.

Prime real-estate is the bed. If any other cat wants to be the bedcat, she either drives them away from the bed or rattles the blinds to annoy the humans into letting her have her way. Once she’s in place as bedcat, she shoves the humans aside to maximize her sprawl-space.

Photo submitted by: LS

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Gallery: Zeerox

July 31st, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Zeerox
Location: Dallas, The Netherlands

Zeerox is maybe a meankitty

I don't think being angry about this qualifies me for Meankitty. Somebody please put me on the Nicekitty site! I'm so sweet I didn't deserve this!

What makes Zeerox so mean?

He gets really mad when I dip him for fleas and does bad things.

Photo submitted by: Myranya

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Gallery: Violent Bob

July 30th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Violent Bob
Location: Bristol, England

Violent Bob is violent

Blood looks so striking and artistic on my white, white fur.

What makes Bob so mean?

Bob, when this photo was taken, was only eight weeks old but showing every sign of living up to his moniker. His favorite activities? Drawing blood and biting the ears of his brother Vic, sometimes simultaneously. He also loves clawing my back.

Photo submitted by: Jim

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Gallery: T (Ms. not Mr.)

July 29th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: T
Location: Philly

T is a meankitty

Actually I quit peeing on the rugs, walls and radiators when those jerks were no longer around to blame it on.

What makes T so mean?

T doesn’t pee on the rugs, walls, radiators and, occasionally, me – that was the two boys who now live outside. She doesn’t lurk in the closet to leap out on the other cat and any misplaced humans who might want to go from their bedroom to the bathroom. Instead, she howls at night from the top of the stairs hoping we’ll encourage her to run past the closet door in which the *other* cat (my partner’s) might be lurking.

She doesn’t drink from our water glasses, nor does she attack human toes – see “cat, other” above

She does flinch and run when my partner tries to pick her up, which happens eleventy times a day because my partner forgets T is not to be picked up – and also bounces down the stairs, jumps around and is generally scary. [Meankitty's note: I am unsure if Cheryl is referencing T or her partner with the stair bouncing and general scariness. Probably T but it's more amusing to think it's her partner.] T isn’t being mean; we suspect she has an abuse history before she adopted me.

T’s primary claim to meankittiness is this: she has learned the one paw from the official mean kitty. And she uses it … continuously … when we’re in bed … sleeping … or otherwise occupied.

Photo submitted by: Cheryl

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Gallery: Wahoo

July 28th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Wahoo
Location: Unknown

Wahoo is a meankitty

Where to bite...where to bite...so many prominent human features that need to be scaled down to cat size!

What makes Wahoo so mean?

We found Wahoo when he was approximately 8 weeks old on a walk. It was early morning and still dark outside. We heard him cry and he came running up to my boyfriend Randy. He followed us as we walked around a track and when we were done, it started to rain and we felt it was destiny that brought him to us.

In reality it was some family that couldn’t care for him and dumped him in the park.

Anyway, Wahoo can bark like a dog and play hide and seek. He is a terrific pouncer and can rip anyone a new (you know what) in a millisecond. He loves Randy but has a problem with me. I find it hard to set boundaries and I end up laughing when he attacks me. He is a gorgeous cat with a horrible disposition.

Photo submitted by: Anne

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Gallery: Una

July 27th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Una Noel Shabooboo
Location: CO

Una and Dog

Meeeeeeee and my shadow! Whom I like to beat.

What makes Una so mean?

We have a couple cats that certainly fit the Meankitty bill. However, one of them rises like curdle cream to the surface. Our beloved Una Noel Shabooboo showed up at our farm on Christmas eve several years ago. I took her in and found her a home. The home was in fact a rabid cesspool of familial dysfunction.

Una and Books

My yoga instructor calls this one Melted Cat, No Bull

So I brought her home to live with our 20 pound Buddha cat, Grendel (the name does not begin to describe his laid back zen attitude – he truly is a hairy little buddha). She proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Did I mention she only weighed 2 pounds?

I am the crazy cat lady with the invisible homeless cat magnet. Over the years we have had numerous kittens show up on our doorsteps. While the kittens are still young (under 1 year of age), Una dotes on them. Once they hit a year, she begins a merciless program of beatings and torment. It’s really quite horrifying to behold. She even drove one cat out of the house to be consumed by a great horned owl (sad story… let’s not go into details).

Una the Meankitty

Actually I'm not sensitive to static electricity, I just think humans smell funny and don't want them rubbing on my beauteous fur.

She absolutely refuses to be touched unless you’ve just stepped out of the shower. We’ve determined that she is highly sensitive to static electricity and the only time you don’t shock her is when you are wet. We live in the high desert of SW Colorado so that don’t happen too often. She wants nothing to do with human contact and also routinely kicks the dogs’ butts. Even the horses don’t mess with her. She is tiny with these hideously white claws that gleam out of her velvety black paws. And she gives no warning. She can be sleeping peacefully and you simply walk by and her obsidian claws of death wreak havoc upon your defenseless flesh.

Photo submitted by: Krista and Flint

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Advice: Baby Scratcher

July 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

[Please note: This advice was written when Pink Thing and/or Loud Thing were much smaller. There is no actual baby in Meankitty's house right now.]

Dear Meankitty,

My brother has this cat who never is nice and who always scratches everyone who walks by. They also just found out they are going to have a baby, and for sure the cat will scratch the baby. Any advice?? Was he tormented as a kitten maybe?

Signed,
Jen

***

Dear Jen,

Cats rule. Babies drool. One of those stupid pink things has moved into my house these days, taking up my lap space and cutting into my belly time. At least it hasn’t started to eat my food yet; then things are going to get ugly.

I do have to give my human typing slave credit. She hasn’t acted like the pink thing is off limits so D and I aren’t totally jealous and seeking revenge. In fact, D has been known to join in on diaper changes. Yet at the same time she doesn’t leave the pink thing alone in the same room as D all that much (D is the only worry; I’m harmless hehehe). You can even buy netted lids for the crib to keep cats out, though I think that’s cruel because playing in the crib is one of the few benefits to the pink thing being here.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Cairo

July 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Cairo
Location: Not Egypt (Australia)

Cairo the Meankitty

I hate it when they let my food dish go empty...I get desperate enough to eat anything!

What makes Cairo so mean?

Cairo my gorgeous, 7 year old fluffmonkey will eat just about anything. He has been known to chew on 10c coins, tin foil, and snarkle into the odd pizza, raw cabbage and carrot, any type of meat or cream by-product, and of course, human hair. He’s fat and greedy, and while he makes a sublime pillow, sometimes he can get a little rowdy.

The pictures are him attacking and subduing an evil, strawberry chuppachup candy lollie, and trying to suck the sugar out of the wrapper. Oh, he’s mean.

Cairo’s nickname is ChickenCat, so named because I obtained him when he was so young, he hadn’t learned to meow properly. He ended up learning to make noises and meow from the chickens I had living next door to me. So now he sort of warbles and clucks like a chicken. He also beeps.

Cairo the Meankitty

I pray they feed me soon or I'm going to have to eat human flesh.

Cairo takes great pleasure in beating up his brother Fox, and I will send you photos of their fights later!

Photo submitted by: Jennifer

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Advice: Places to Puke

July 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

Have you ever thrown up on a tile floor, covered it with a piece of newspaper and watched as your slaves slip and fall? Do it in the early in the morning before your slave gets the hot brown stink water and position it so he has to step on it to get to the light switch. After he slips–run! Go in the bathroom, stretch out on the towels you pulled down from the rack and look innocent. Good fun!

Signed,
Teevors, ZsaZsa, Chee, the Lady Di and Jake

***

Dear Manycats,

Sounds like you could be writing advice on this site! Those of you who are visiting here looking for SOHC tips to annoy your humans, that’s a good one.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Baallow

July 25th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Baallow
Location: Dunno

Baallow the Meankitty

I shall chew off the head and leave it on your pillow as a surprise!

What makes Baallow so mean?

Baallow is pure evil. She stands on top of the bookshelf next to my bedroom door and jumps, hissing and spitting, at people entering my room. She also hides under furniture and attacks peoples’ ankles when they least expect it. She will only drink milk while sitting on top of the refrigerator with me holding up the bowl until her majesty has had her fill.

Baallow loves to watch movies and, frighteningly, her favorite things to watch are the Hannibal movies. Whenever Anthony Hopkins comes on screen, she stares intently at it, and when he begins to talk she begins to purr and knead the surface she is sitting on.

Baallow the Meankitty

You look like fava beans to me, dog....

We call her HanniBaallow because of her vicious destruction of all the neighborhood small animals. I spend most mornings scraping pigeon entrails off the porch. She also brings live bats into the house without injuring them and releases them under my bed so that whenever I’m looking for something I get hit in the face with giant flying rodents.

She has bullied our dog within an inch of his life and often pushes him off his favorite mat just to annoy him. His bones, which he spends so much time burying, are tools in her breaking of his already weak spirit. She digs them up when he isn’t around and re-buries them somewhere else. The poor thing almost has hysterics when he can’t find his bones.

Photo submitted by: Anon

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