Advice: Cat Thrones

July 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

I am going to make my kitty a proper throne (cat bed) because my own bed is not worthy. What do you think is the best fabric to make it from? Should it be velvet of faux fur? Or something even better?

Rao,
Crafty Slave

***

Dear Crafty,

It all depends. What color is your cat? Choose a contrasting fabric so the hair will show up better. Fuzzy fabrics are also greatly appreciated, like the fuzzy blanket D likes to, um, “embrace” whenever he can’t get his paws on me. Yeah, I know, he’s supposed to be fixed, but I’m so sleek and cute I think I reinvigorate the most snipped of toms. At least, that’s been my experience. But back to this throne. Contrasting fuzzy fabric. Right.

Also, if you’re making a kitty throne because you want the kitty off your bed, it won’t work. Beds is beds.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Musspuss

July 23rd, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: MussPuss
Location: New Zealand

Musspuss is a meankitty

Mmmmm, I love snacking on humans! High in fiber, low in hairballs, and the screaming is music to my ears.

What makes MussPuss so mean?

She’s one of those cats who looks all fluffy and cuddly but is really Satan on four legs. No ankle is safe when she is around. She’s especially bad when she’s been given fresh red meat for dinner.

As you can see by the picture she is in the middle of making a meal out of my hand.

Submitted by: Christy W.

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Gallery: Barney

July 16th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Barney
Location: Unknown

Barney the Meankitty face

Can I have your attention? Can I, huh huh huh?

What makes Barney so mean?

My name is Barney. I am the proud owner of Lisa. I am very attached to Lisa and have known the sound of her voice since the day I was born. I picked her, not the other way around. I was born in a cattle barn with 4 others and Lisa found us the day we were born.

She thought she was going to take home 2 other cats from my group…so much for her giving that much thought. I live and breathe for all of Lisa’s attention, and if one of the other cats comes near her, they get it. I am on them quick and without sympathy or care. I sleep with her each night next to her side and if she rolls over, I hop over her and snuggle her face again. To warn the other kitties to steer clear, I snort very loudly when I see one, and if that doesn’t deter them, I bring out the teeth and claws

Lisa’s Note: Barney is very nasty and jealous of my other cats. Also other humans–if anyone, male or female, tries to sit next to me or cuddle, he sits between us or on us till he’s between us. He is a brat.

Photo submitted by: Lisa Book Worm

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Gallery: Gabbie

July 15th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Gabbie
Location: Missouri

Gabbie the Meankitty

It's a cat's prerogative. Yes, it's MY prerogative! That's a song title. I'd sing it but I lost my microphone.

What makes Gabbie so mean?

It’s not that Gabbie is so “mean”, per se, he’s just so darn BOSSY. He thinks he’s the boss of me, and he constantly demands I do this or that.

I want to go in the garage, I want a treat, give me a bite of your dinner, my feet are cold so don’t move, my feet are hot to get lost, open that blind so I can have more sun, close that blind so I can do sneak attacks on the birds, why have you been gone so long, I want to sleep on your head, turn down the t.v……..

It never ends.

Photo submitted by: Shawna

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Gallery: Gin Gin

May 30th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Gin Gin
Location: The Center of the Universe

Gin Gin is a meankitty

Meow meow meow meow meow pet me meow meow meowwww.

What makes Gin Gin so mean?

Gin Gin is a six year old drama queen. She hates the dog. She hates other cats. She hates men. She tolerates those of us who live with her, but just barely. Gin constantly meows, but she gets her food, she just sniffs it and walks off. When I bend down to pet her, she scowls, swipes and runs away. Everything revolves around her in this world and she knows it.

Gin Gin is Queen

Queen Gin Gin aka Center of the Universe Ruler of Many Human Slaves and Hater of Dogs

Submitted by: Barbara

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Gallery: Amber

May 28th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Amber
Location: UK

Amber is a meankitty

Cats TOTALLY hate warm air blowing all over our bodies. Please, please don't crank that radiator *smirks*.

What makes Amber so mean?

This is one mean English Kitty! She likes to take a leak by sticking her bum out of the cat tray and peeing right onto the kitchen floor, but not every time. I think it’s when we feed her crappy food.

She loves to pull the carpet up on a regular basis, just for fun. She bites the leaves off plants and sharpens her teeth on the corners of the kitchen units.

To get our own back, she sometimes falls asleep with her nose against the radiator, so we crank up the heating! Heh heh heh, that’ll teach her.

Submitted by: Mike

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Gallery: Greebo

May 27th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Greebo
Location: Discworld

Greebo kitten

Greebo then. Awwwwwww!

What makes Greebo so mean?

Greebo and his 3 brothers were rescued at 2 weeks old–their mother had abandoned them. We took Greebo home at around 4 weeks old, and I hand fed him every 2 hours with a substitute mothers milk. I forgave the terrible scratches as hunger pangs. Now I think he got a taste of blood and never looked back.

Greebo is a meankitty

Greebo and Binky--She Who Does Not Get To Eat Until Greebo Finishes.

Greebo is actually the devil in cat form. He has subdued Binky (the black cat) into letting him eat her food. He also ambushes her whenever possible, causing screams like you’ve never heard before on earth. We have 2 dogs (dachshunds. They don’t stand a chance) He rides the smaller one like a horse. He waits till she’s alone (mostly she slinks around looking very, very nervous) then he leaps onto her back and rides her like a bucking bronco round the living room. The other dog, Greebo likes to wait til he’s wagging his tail then he swats it, making the dog wonder what the heck hit him (he’s not a very bright dog).

Meankitty’s note — what dogs are bright?
Meankitty’s other note — would pay top catnip dollar for the horse-riding picture.

His favourite hobby is sitting on the sink staring, ust staring at the dripping tap. It fascinates him. He cannot believe the drips disappear before he can grab them.

His second favourite hobby is going out at night, whatever the weather, so he can howl on my window ledge at 3 am. When I let him in, he likes to charge (soaking wet) across my head/face/torso and streak downstairs to howl at the front door to be let out. So he can do it again.

His name is Greebo from Nanny Ogg’s cat in the Discworld novels.

His nickname is Stripey B*stard. And I love him to death.

Submitted by: Helen

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Gallery: Fuzby

May 26th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Fuzby
Location: Iowa City, Iowa

Fuzby is a meankitty

It's true. I'm the obvious pick of any litter.

What makes Fuzby so mean?

My name is Ian and this is my evil little 8-pound ball of fury named Fuzby from Iowa City, Iowa. My family and I bought him from a litter of farm-born kittens and he was the obvious pick of the litter. Out of all his siblings, he was the only male and the only tabby (the rest were orange).

We quickly realized when we brought him home that he had much more of a temper than any other cat we had owned previously. As a kitten he would lie in wait around corners and then jump out and cling to people’s legs so he could gnaw on them. The only time of day that he allows himself to be petted is in the morning, when he receives his daily brushing – this is also the only time you will here him purr loudly.

Fuzby is mean mean mean

I have no idea why everyone thinks it's so cold this winter.

In the second picture you can see him sitting on a heating vent – this is his favorite spot during winter and if you try to move him then prepare to bleed. He has always been a very small cat, never weighing more than about 9 pounds, but this does not stop him from challenging dogs, raccoons, groundhogs, other cats, deer, and of course people. Every time we take him to the vet he has to be anesthetized because the veterinarians are afraid of his bite, but even under anesthesia he manages to make his displeasure very clear with a surprisingly loud and low sounding growl that you wouldn’t expect a cat of his size to be capable of. I think he’s the coolest cat ever though.

Submitted by: Ian

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Gallery: Mollie

May 25th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Mollie
Location: TX

Mollie is a meankitty

Dog hairdressing is only my side business. I make most of my mad money as the SOHC area secretary.

What makes Mollie so mean?

This is Mollie at 12 yrs old. (Doesn’t she look sweet? She really is not.) Mollie is a mean cat because:
#1: She doesn’t like any other cats. The ONLY animal she likes is HER dog. And she only likes him if he lays very still and lets her groom his head, which by the way is very hard for him to be still while she is doing this. He wants to PLAY! She doesn’t.

#2: Mollie thinks it’s time to get up the minute the sun comes up and meows loudly to say so. Pillows (or insults) thrown in her direction are of no use.

#3: Mollie has always marked the corners in the house when there is carpet with pee and will probably always do so.

#4: Mollie is an excellent mouser. This is a good trait, and she can catch and eat a mouse in record time, but then you’ve got a dead mouse to deal with.

#5: Mollie gets very upset when someone new moves in OR visits too long. She has been known to pee in a visitor’s drawer and pooped in my shoes one time to tell me how much displeasure she had at the new guest.

#6: Mollie complains loudly if you pick her up, she only wants you pet her when she wants to be petted, and you must pet her in the manner she dictates or she might bite you. Which happens sometimes in the middle of the night! She always wants to sleep with me and demands I pet her by shoving her head in my hand. If I don’t obey she bites me and I have slowly extract my hand or she bites down hard! I’ve never quite figured out if this is ecstasy from the petting or pure meanness.

She rules this house and I won’t get another cat until she’s gone. God forbid if I upset her again!! (the shoe thing)

Submitted by: Ileene

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Gallery: Omar

May 24th, 2014  / Author: Meankitty

Name: Omar
Location: Unknown

Omar is a meankitty

*I* am the king of the castle...get down, you dirty rascal.

What makes Omar so mean?

This picture was taken about two seconds before Omar had enough of photo time and attacked the camera, subsequently wrapping his claws around my head in fury. See, Omar is a very temperamental cat, and not just when he is being photographed.

We had him shipped in from Texas because my mother wanted a Turkish Angora. She even gave him a Turkish name, Omar. Well, at least she told us it was Turkish.

Anyway, Omar is the king of the castle. He weighs as much as a large turkey, and god forbid you cut back on his food, the incessant meowing and howling will drive you to drink. And then, the howls only get louder.

We can’t clip his nails and have not been able to in about 3 years. Even with two people restraining him there is blood drawn, and it’s never his. I have no idea how he keeps them from getting too bad, probably by sharpening them on the bones of kitties he has met in a dark alley.

I used to work at a pet groomer’s and when he was brought in for a bath, they asked me not to bring him back. We now have to take him to the vet when he needs cleaning so they can tranquilize him and do it there. He has been asked not to return to a few vets as well.

Omar is also on Prozac, but this does not seem to help besides keeping him from peeing on my mom’s favorite carpet. This is a small consolation for her. She no longer calls him Omar, just “cat,” and has on more than one occasion said “We should have picked the orange kitten.”

There is no chance of seeing him interact with another cat because I would not want to see a dead cat. I can’t even bring friends over because he hisses at the sight of them.

Submitted by: Jill

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