Archive for the ‘Cats’ Category

Gallery: Boo (3)

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Name: Boo (3)
Location: Washington State

Boo

When you take away my mosaic tile floors, I'm forced to find other places to hide my poo.

What makes Boo so mean?

Boo is the most evil thing ever to inhabit five and a half pounds of orange cat flesh.

If only I had known. I would have gotten a plant instead. I found a helpless little ball of orange fluff in a parking lot in Dallas in 1988. I took it in and fell in love with it, hiding it in my crappy ghetto apartment, avoiding the pet deposit on that roach motel. All these years later, Boo is a screaming, pissing, door-knocking at all hours, seventeen year old Bitch Royale De Luxe Orange Pussy: a special breed, of which there can be only one.

You see, she is the cat equivalent of the devil.

She practices blood curdling shrieking techniques and howls mournfully and bangs the bedroom door at regular intervals throughout the night. She cannot be let in, without whizzing a puddle in the corner; therefore, she cannot be let in. She sleeps all day, gathering strength for the night’s campaign of terror. She’s sleeping on top of the monitor as I type this, looking innocent and cute, thinking mayhem and human sleep deprivation.

Boo

Evil Boo and compatriot contemplate wire cutting techniques.

We had to purchase a large dog kennel for her to stay in when she has a particularly crabby moment, or day. She once took the other cat’s favorite toy, a fluffy piece of bunny fur, and placed it in the center of a fresh pile of pooh she had conveniently deposited in the mosaic doorway of our bedroom floor. She had been hoping Ray’s huge lumberjack boots would squish the pooh into the crevices of the tile mosaic, thus nailing both humans and the sweet black kitty in the same act of war.

She is the reason we have wood floors now. She is the reason there is an ugly dog kennel in my living room. She is the reason we take turns sleeping on the couch so that she will have some company and not feel completely ostracized from the family, though it only makes her slightly less of a bitch, and is only really effective if I do it. She is the reason I’ve spent thousands of dollars on veterinary care and kitty products. She’s the reason I’m going to buy some($&^@ kitty Prozac this month. We are going back to the vet to demand some chemical relief for her suffering and ours. It will probably cost as much as a car payment.

She probably hears voices in her head–“Meow. Mrrrrrooowwww! Never let the humans sleep! Meow! Meow! Poop on Everything! Meow! Meowwwwwww!!!”

Photo submitted by: Sandra

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Gallery: Boo (2)

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Name: Boo (Hiss!)
Location: Unknown

Boo Hiss

I hate kittens. Never had 'em, never wanted 'em. Why should I pretend to like them when their presence just means less attention for me?

What makes Boo so mean?

This is Boo. She can be very mean. When I introduced the kittens (Isis & Osiris) to her, she hissed for months! She would sniff my hand and if she detected “kitten” she would hiss at my hand & show me all her fangs! That’s how she got her nickname “Fangella”!

Photo submitted by: Deb

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Gallery: Boo

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Name: Boo
Location: Haunted House

Boo

I don't want to kill you, just rough you up a little. You've been bad.

What makes Boo so mean?

He attacks for no reason. He looks at you and you realize he will kill you if he can. Look out!

Photo submitted by: Tim

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Gallery: Sterling & Silver

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Names: Sterling & Silver
Location: Land of Bast

Sterling and Silver Perry

We've been practicing our tag team slams and headlocks. Wanna wrestle?

What makes Sterling and Silver so mean?

Years ago in the land of Bast, a human slave lost Beowulf, a cranky and reclusive Siamese mix. The girl human slave cried and cried, every day for a YEAR, a lifetime. The boy human slave begged her to find new mistresses (this is where the story gets good), so enter US, Silver Belle Beaute on the left and Sterling Versailles on the right – meankitty queens of all, and baby, it is GOOD to be queen!

The slaves took this picture of us when we first moved to our Perrydom kingdom from the Siamese Rescue at 4 months. Yes, we are gorgeous. Yes we are soft as the finest silk. Yes our eyes are bluer than bluebells (thanks Bast we didn’t get stuck w that name, right?). They thought us sweet and adorable, but we soon showed them whose boss, with our adorable, shy baby kitty aka meankitty ways.

Our preferred activity is Wrestle mania. One of us waits from a secret ledge atop the tallest couch, and we FLY through the air, to surprise land on each other like a SUMO wrestler, and then roll around and around and around in a blur of grey and white…oh, I’m dizzy, stop you little P*&)(*&^^$&%(^^(!

Back to Wrestle mania. Sometimes, when we grudgingly give the 2 slaves time for bleary eyed coffee, we circle each other, ears pinned back, posturing to show who is the biggest fluffiest bad ass of Perrydom, where we reside, and BAM! One of leaps on the other like a SUMO wrestler…wait, I told this part.

The other fun things we do, simple because we are meankitties: we love to dive bomb Sophie the black mix calico and Indigo, the British short hair. Chasing the other 3 up and down the stairs like a herd of elephants and back down. Sitting on our back legs like meerkat and boxing each other like a kangaroo.

We also like to dive bomb the slaves too, since they always squeak with such surprise and outrage. Particularly from the tall chest behind the bed, where we lurk until 2 am and then drop down on unsuspecting, sleeping slaves around 3 am. This never falls to highly entertain, since there is always much squawking, arm waving, gesturing and lights on, so then we can really play on the bed with them.

We enjoy seeing our domain from new heights, like last week when I got stuck on top of the kitchen cabinets and couldn’t get down – they are Himalaya high. Girl slave had to get a ladder to retrieve me, funny!

Also entertainment: treat time, when our Royalness gets soft squishy treats, oh my! Flying fish toy with the pole, though we have managed to mangle them into Hades and beyond. We are on the 5th one this year, so far. Anything with feathers, including Girl Slaves beautiful hat from Cat land of Ireland with feathers – now a mangled sopping heap when she went downstairs and left it upstairs alone – for our feast. I have never seen such hopping and arm waving as that day.

We’ll share more of the trials and travails of Perrydom when we have time to do so again, adieu for now, meankitty audience.

Photos submitted by: Starr and Mike Perry

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Gallery: Bagheera

Friday, March 10th, 2017

Name: Bagheera
Location: Louisville, KY

Bagheera

Hold still, I missed a spot! Of your skin.

What makes Bagheera so mean?

Bagheera has always been a feisty little tike, and growing up with a huge, 120 pound, rough playing German Shepherd did NOT help. He never played with other, more “chill” cats (aka “regular” cats) so even now that he’s older, Bagheera is used to the thick skinned dog he rough housed with before….which means my not-so-tough skin is sometimes in pieces.

Sometimes it’s to intentionally hurt you, but mostly the boy just plays too hard and gets people hurt. He especially likes to stalk you around corners, attack your ankles (which usually leaves you fallen on the floor) with both teeth AND claws, then speeds away as fast as possible to hide under the bed where you can’t catch him to wring his neck!!! Unfortunately, his mother (myself) can’t help but be obsessed with the little thing for whatever reason, not even I can figure it out. His nickname to everyone else is “Crack Kitty” because his eyes get so huge and crazy looking, and that’s when you know to run away.

Photo submitted by: Rebekah

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Gallery: Marley (2)

Thursday, March 9th, 2017

Name: Marley (2)
Location: Melbourne, AU

Marley

Payment for services rendered isn't the same as burglary. I earn money for being so AWESOME.

Marley came to live with us when he was a tiny ginger beige kitten. Now he is not tiny. He is mean because he

– Ruthlessy stalks and attacks Harry, who is 4 times bigger (Norwegians are one of the biggest breed of cats) and makes Harry cry.
– He plays violent games in his cat scratching post tunnel ( we call it Ultraviolence) where he likes to be patted whilst he is savaging your hands and drawing blood.
– Insisits on being carried around LIKE A BIG BABY until he is in the TUNNEL OF DEATH and then purrs hysterically whilst mutilating any of your available body parts (while you are patting him).
– will only use the cat box to go to the loo, he runs in from outside to go in the catbox.
-lets you know when one of his toys is under a couch/divan etc. and then waits for you to retrieve it and then ignores you.
-wakes me up half an hour before my 5.50 am alarm goes off EVERY DAY
-steals paper money if it is left lying around, my daughter was wondering what happened to 20 bucks for a whole week, when I saw him run off with a 10 dollar note!! Sure enough, the 20 from the week before was under a couch!! CAT BURGLER!!!!!!
-has sharp fangs and knows how to use them
-knocks over drinks on the coffee table at random
-STEALS THE PILLOW
-looks extremely cute and innocent, which is mind games!!!
Beautiful, Naughty Orange Kitteh!!!!

Photo submitted by: Jemima and Veronica

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Gallery: Marley

Wednesday, March 8th, 2017

Name: Marley
Location: Elmo’s Loving Embrace

Marley Kitty

To Whom It May Concern: This shot was totally posed. They paid me in tuna and belly rubbins.

What makes Marley so mean?

If she can’t have her Elmo, she doesn’t want any part of you. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled! Never wake this cat up from a nap or she will go for your throat.

Photo submitted by: Danielle

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Gallery: Glenn

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

Name: Glenn
Location: Unknown

Glenn the 1

I'm not mean, I'm an armchair antimacatser!

What makes Glenn so mean?

Seeing your site convinced me our ultramean Glenn deserves a special place on it. See for yourself, that look on his face… Actually, he’s a complete coward, but always trying to hide it by looking tough and dangerous. And by using claws and teeth at most unexpected moments of course.

Photo submitted by: Myriam

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Gallery: Sabrina (2)

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

Name: Sabrina aka Bad Kitty
Location: WA State

Sabrina is mean

I earned my degree in Advanced Skin Shredding at the SOHC Institute for Meankitties.

What makes Sabrina so mean?

My human slave had to write this for me, since I don’t have opposable thumbs and my midnight typing forays do not always result in something that can be read. If we had opposable thumbs we could do away with humans and work the can opener by ourselves.

But I digress. I am Sabrina, aka “Bad Kitty”. I don’t know that I would say that I’m “mean”; I just rule my house with an iron paw. I might occasionally snuggle and purr, but that’s when I want attention. Refusal to do my bidding, playing with me incorrectly, or ignoring me will result in a severe shredding of the skin on your ankles as I leap out at you from the darkened recesses of the living room. NO HUMAN IS SAFE .

Photo submitted by: Lisa
http://www.wildcelticrose.net/badkitty/

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Gallery: Hannah

Monday, March 6th, 2017

Name: Hannah
Location: Houston, TX

Hannah the mean

No point in doing it in your sleep....I'll wait until you're awake and vulnerable, so I can enjoy it!

What makes Hannah so mean?

This is my in-laws’ cat Hannah. She was found abandoned by my mother in law a couple of years ago. Even though she grew up their house, she is still a ferocious, wild cat. The only two people who can touch her are my in-laws. One time she rubbed up against my wife, only because the cat thought she was my mother-in-law. The next visit, my wife tried to pet her only to be hissed at and scratched.

When I stare at her, she gives me this evil look like she plans to kill me in my sleep.

Photo submitted by: Jason

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