Archive for January, 2016
Friday, January 29th, 2016
Name: Loki (2)
Location: Adso’s house
Cattitude--I've got it in spades! Um. What are spades, anyway?
Why is Loki so mean?
Hi!! My name is Loki and I am so happy to meet you. My story of how I got here is kind of fun, or so says Karrin, my new slave.
See, there have been rumours going around with the animals near where I used to be, that if you crossed the busy zoom concrete, there was a human who would fall in love with you and take you home. I thought, “WOW! I am cute and little, bet I could win that lotto!!” So one day I braved the zoom and went into the big dark place with all the zoomers (slave here, that’s cars to us). Ok slave, go away I got this…so anyways – I wandered about and saw lots of humans but I knew they weren’t the magickal one, so I stayed away. I knew who I was looking for, and sorry 2 legs, you ain’t it.
Then………there she was! She had a ‘SUCKER’ tattoo only animals and kids selling cookies can see. I called to her – very quietly so no one else heard. I saw her turn around and look!! It WAS her, OMGs!!! It’s TRUE! Only she could hear me! I watched her look all OVER then turn back around and say, “Did you hear that?!”
The other human (not a magickal one, just one of those ordinary ones) said, “It was a mockingbird.”
Do I look like a mockingbird to you? I EAT mockingbirds for lunch. Um. what are mockingbirds?
I decided to be a bit more aggressive in getting her attention. I meowed a wee louder and decided to show myself, wandering between two zoomers. She heard me, looked in disbelief (it was funny, that look), and ran over going, “OOOO! Look at YOU! How cute are YOU! Oh crap, Jeff is gonna kill me!!” I let her pick me up and I threw in some purrs and biscuit-making to show how adorable I was. She cuddled me and took me inside to her office. There she played with me and everyone came to see my handsome self.
Her boss said, “I think you like animals more than people.”
“Well DUH,” I thought. “Look at ME, look at YOU – no contest! Pfft, please.”
All I had to do was break out the belly of cute and the humans were goners!
Then then then (this is the BEST part), she took me to this GINORMOUS castle!! She fed me and showed me around and I met these 3 IG’s: Tor, Reno and Grayson, whom I promptly made my subjects with some hiss and swipe and awesome kitty ninja moves (HEEYAH!). Tor (he’s a GIANT!) cowered and looked sad, so I let him be my friend. I met this Jeff person whom I ensnared with my cuteness, since I’d heard Karrin say, “If Jeff doesn’t like you what will I do with you?” Please – no prob, I mean LOOK at me! Yeah say it – awwwww!!! That’s right.
Then I met the famous Adso, who was the inspiration for the tale of the magick human. WOW! My hero! He told me it was all true and I had just inherited the kingdom, like he did and Adair after him (I like Adair, she cuddles with me). And that all of us – the 3 Ruling Class (what? We ARE!) and our subjects: the 3 IG’s, and a Bearded Dragon named Shinki – heard the tale passed around far and wide and found our forever home. Adso says I have to learn SOHC rules and I am not quite sure what those are, but they sound FUN!
So watch out world. I am Loki, the IBTK (itty bitty Trouble kitty), with ninja moves and I WILL be a meankitty to fear (after my food and a nap).
Photos submitted by: Karrin
Thursday, January 28th, 2016
You're looking at me...and I don't LIKE it!
What makes Picasso so mean?
Here is a list of Picasso’s likes and dislikes:
Likes: Howling all night to keep her mom and dad slaves awake, slamming the cabinet doors, standing under your feet so you trip, fighting with her sister under the bed in the middle of the night, meowing in your face and then running away, spilling paint on the floor than walking through it, playing in the fireplace, hiding in the shower in the guest bathroom and scaring people while they use the toilet and the idea of the world blowing up and only her and a few cockroaches being left.
Ursula likes undies....I like my little cave!
Dislikes: Being looked at, talked to, breathed on, basically EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.
Picasso lives with Ursula.
Photo submitted by: Chris and Callie
Wednesday, January 27th, 2016
Name: Miss Treat
Location: Bremerton, WA
One can only IMAGINE what Miss Treat is saying here, but it's not very nice.
What makes Miss Treat so mean?
We call her that because that’s what she does to everybody. Her people. The other cats. The very air vibrating across the air and into your ear.
Treat is one rotten screaming bitch cat. Pick her up, and she tears window-glass apart with her howling. Leave her alone, and she tears into the other cats. Don’t give her her way — to be let out of the house, to be fed, to get her place on the rug — and the air-raid siren starts. She could scare Stukas away. Pray she won’t decide that the Mean Screaming isn’t working and try the Seductive Screaming. Artificial sweetness was never meant to be at this volume.
In the door...out the door...in the door...out the door...etc.
She is a big fake, or so she would have you believe. Pick her up and ignore the screaming, and she gets all sweet and gooey, all purry and kissy. But let your fingers get near her mouth — and you’ll have a reason for screaming.
This cat can scare burglars.
Photos submitted by: Donna B.
Monday, January 25th, 2016
This thing about me attacking "without reason". It's a DOG, you palooka. That's reason enough.
What makes Zelda so mean?
Zelda, the Queen Kitty, and everyone, especially our boxer Norman, knows it. When he attempted to overthrow her as ruler of the house, she made sure his face bore the scars of his failed attempt. Now both our dogs live in fear. Zelda is so mean she harasses them endlessly, sneaking up on them and attacking without reason. Not to mention the suffering of the poor birds and rabbits in our neighborhood whose parts I have found everywhere, including in my van. She is definitely one mean kitty!
Photo submitted by: Tamia H.
Sunday, January 24th, 2016
Every time we lay our yard mats or cushions out, the cat gets on them and sprawls all over them. Since she is truly a meankitty, we don’t dare force her off, so we end up sitting on a pile of cat fur. What shall we do about the mess she has caused?
There are several steps you can take to defurr your most important asset, if you get my drift, without upsetting the most important member of your household — the cat. One, flip the cushions over before you sit on them so that they have a people side and a cat side. Two, toss a towel over the fur-coated cushion. Three, change pants.
Saturday, January 23rd, 2016
See this tan stain all over my white tuxedo front? It's old blood stains, human fool...what do you think happened to the last human who crossed me?
What makes AC so mean?
Picked up this widdle wascal about a week ago. His name is AC aka Alleycat aka Energizer Kitty
Don’t let his handsome mug shots fool ya…he is as mean and rotten as they come. He has drawn blood 4 time from me while getting too playful and had made countless attacks at ankle level. The other night at dinner he stole 2 hotdogs, and all this at less than a year old. I am beginning to wonder what happened to his last owner!
Photo submitted by: GW
Saturday, January 23rd, 2016
Superiors? Ha. There's nothing superior to me!
What makes Yngwie so mean?
From as early as Yngwie’s third month on this planet, she has had a problem with uncontrollable anger. Maybe it’s because she’s not FROM this planet and resents being deserted here by her superiors.
Photo submitted by: Phillip
Thursday, January 21st, 2016
Well, you ARE a piece of meat.
Name: Cairo (2)
What makes Cairo so mean?
She’s my baby but she can be VERY mean. She gets too excited and goes nuts and starts attacking you like you’re a piece of meat. And she doesn’t just attack your legs or something, she goes for exposed skin. Her favorite spot to bite is the back of your arm where the flesh is nice and tender. She also regularly bites my face. She’s bitten every person who’s ever come into our house, including my 2 year old nephew.
Photo submitted by: Melanie
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016
I want in your lap. NOW!!!!!
What makes Zea so mean?
Zea’s favorite sport is to get my attention. I cannot type without her on my lap, I cannot go to the bathroom alone, and my sleeping nights are now her on my pillow and me without it. Jealousy is also part of the game…my hubby cannot kiss me without her hissing between us. A constant loud purring is now part of any of our discussions.
The funny part is, besides that, people don’t believe me when I tell them there is a cat in the house. She hates people so much she hides until they leave, so she doesn’t have to deal with them. Few people actually meet my cat. Hopefully this page will prove to them I am owned by one.
Flowers destroyed shortly after photo. Also, human.
About the pictures. The pic with the flowers was a deal a made with her. If I took the pic, she could destroy the flowers after, which is exactly what she did 5 seconds after the flash. After I took the pic on the desk (below), I got claws in my face.
You are so dead...again, as I already killed you once.
You would think I would have learned my lesson after that, but no, I had to try a pic with that santa hat. Boy I really made a mistake with that one. Let’s just say it’s a good thing the sight of blood doesn’t make me faint
Photo submitted by: Jewel
Tuesday, January 19th, 2016
Don't mind me, I'm masquerading as a dust mop.
What makes Dutchess so mean?
Dutchess is mean because, well there is no real reason. She just is. She gets everything a kitty needs–love, food, toys, you name it, she has got it. But she will only show her appreciation when she wants something else. The rest of the time she either ignores us or makes faces like this.
Photo submitted by: Nathan