Archive for December, 2015

Gallery: Steven Gustaf

Friday, December 4th, 2015

Name: Steven Gustaf
Location: Syracuse, NY

Steven is so mean

I'm not in the mood to lure you in by being faux-cuddly. Get lost!

What makes Steven so mean?

My name is Steven and I am a mean kitty! My human found your site and immediately thought I should enter, since she is always telling me I am the meanest kitty ever. I am a year and a half old “buff” tiger cat that my mom rescued from some people who said I “played too rough” with their dog. Mom thought they were being silly and that the dog was wimpy, but then she got to know me and understood. My favorite things to do are, in no particular order:

-Beat up my sister kitties, including my 16 yr old sister who is so much fun to attack because she hates me SOOOO much!
-Beat up the stupid doggies, though they kind of like it. They are a lot bigger than me but I’m tougher and make them bleed a lot.
-Breaking all of mom’s stuff, like expensive jewelry and vases and curtains. I also like to knock pictures off the walls and hide mom’s favorite clothes under the bed.
-Biting and scratching people. All the time. Without warning. Especially when they think I’m in a good mood and being cuddly and cute. That’s just how I lure them in. I give myself extra points for scratching babies and the elderly.
-Eating everything I can, whether it’s edible or not. Mom doesn’t understand that all the food is mine, and her lack of understanding often gets her scratched and bitten.
-Other miscellaneous activities like tipping over the dog’s water dish, unraveling the toilet paper, stealing the bathtub drain cover, yowling loudly at all hours of the day and night, etc.

Steven is a meankitty

This is how I punish the dogs for being dogs. I punish humans and cats for other reasons.

My mom says that I’ll be a nice kitty eventually, once I’m all grown up, but I don’t think she should get her hopes up, since being mean is too much fun!

Submitted by: Rachel

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Gallery: Grendel

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

Name: Grendel
Location: Near Heorot, at least for awhile

Grendel the Meankitty

Transformation to terror in 3...2...1...

What makes Grendel so mean?

Though “Grendel” is a very fitting name, I decided maybe Mr. Hyde was a better one. One moment he’s purring like a motorboat in your ear, the next he’s knocking the mirror off of the wall. You’ll know when the episodes are about to come because his previously twinkling eyes turn into cold, black slits. He becomes unresponsive to your cooing and calling and immediately goes into Search and Destroy mode. Anything that can be pulled, smashed or ripped apart is quickly disemboweled in his tornado of sudden fury.

There are two poses he assumes before scaling the velvet curtains or peeing on the bed: 1) Gargoyle (pictured above): comes in handy when he is in higher places, scaling the room for something to sink his teeth into (i.e. the skulls of my friends) and 2) Gremlin: specific to covered areas of the house (such as drawers or trashcans) where he can lurk in the darkness until some unsuspecting victim strolls by, blind to the impending doom that awaits his/her Achilles tendon. Did I mention he sharpens his claws on bare legs, drinks out of the toilet, shreds the toilet paper and digs in the trashcan for used *ahem* unmentionables, which he then hides for people as presents?

Nonetheless, he is incredibly intelligent and sweet half of the time. You just have to know when to duck.

Submitted by: Hanna

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