Archive for November, 2015

Gallery: Zhenya

Monday, November 30th, 2015

Name: Zhenya
Location: Helsinki, Finland

Zhenya is a meankitty

Mmmmmmm, sick leave!

What makes Zhenya so mean?

Don’t get me wrong: Zhenya is the most beautiful, intelligent and affectionate cat, but he is also very possessive and at times possessed! I still have a prominent scar on my left hand as a souvenir from the morning Zhenya had a fit because I was going to work and leaving him on his own for a whole day! Were it in his power I would never leave the house. I usually have to trick him by throwing a toy to the other side of the room and sneak out…

Zhenya is a meankitty

You go to work, you suffer the consequences. Actually, I want you to go because I got me a hot little tabby coming over for catnip later.

He really loves it when I’m on sick leave and in bed all day, but on the other hand he has no problem with waking me up in the middle of the night if he wants service. He drops the alarm clock to the floor, then he tries to switch the light on (he can push the switch down with his paw but can’t push it to the bottom so it only flickers irritatingly). If that doesn’t work, he pulls down the curtains by hanging from them! He is the most stubborn feline I’ve ever met and NEVER gives up.

Zhenya is a street urchin. I found him on the sidewalk during my lunch hour. He was a cute little ball of fur and when I stopped by, he climbed on my knee and started to purr so I didn’t stand a chance. I took him with me and next day went to see the vet to have him vaccinated. Though Zhenya weighed only 2 kg, it took two vets to hold him still! He’s also a bit of a daredevil.

Outside his acrobatic stunts Zhenya’s favourite activity is to drop things to the floor and he also loves to harass and torture the other cat, Hermine, who is ten years his senior. Eating is quite complicated when Zhenya’s around (and he usually is!) because he tries to steal food from eveyone’s plate!

Photo submitted by: Susanna

Gallery: Donnie

Sunday, November 29th, 2015

Name: Donnie
Location: Secret Hideout

Donnie is a meankitty

Squeeze me and I scream like freedom!

What makes Donnie so mean?

Donnie is a terrorist. Because I talk about him all the time in emails, he has gotten me in trouble with the NSA. But what else am I supposed to do? I think he’s building bombs in the litterbox. Sure smells like death.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Gallery: Felix (2)

Saturday, November 28th, 2015

Name: Felix (2)
Location: NJ

Felix is a meankitty.

I believe from this picture it's quite obvious why I had to punish the so-called groomers.

What makes Felix so mean?

I got Felix as a sick and neglected stray kitten. I cleaned him up, fed him and gave him a home. His picture is very misleading because for once his teeth are not out and trying to sink into my leg, or the couch, or the toilet paper roll. He is happiest when biting something.

He wakes me for food at 5am, knocks his water dish over, and delights in kicking his litter in a 4 ft radius around the box. This love is not only given to me, but others as well. He made quite an impression on the groomers and I am no longer allowed to return with him ( there was a lot of cursing and something about stiches.) He has endeared himself to my boyfriend by peeing in his leather shoes.

All of this activity still leaves time for the complete destruction of all my plants as well as chewing up and spitting out pieces of my bath mat.

He is a meankitty, but every once in a while Felix will hop on the bed, snuggle right up to my chest…and bite me on the chin!

Photo submitted by: Monika

Gallery: Portia

Friday, November 27th, 2015

Name: Portia
Location: Dad’s House

Portia is a meankitty

Aw, I didn't scratch the kitten on purpose. There was a bee on it, cat's honor!

What makes Portia so mean?

My father’s cat is so mean she circles the neighborhood looking for cats to beat up. She used to know exactly where to wait before the neighbor’s cat got let out for the day so she could leap on it. She even scratched a kitten in the eye once! Don’t be fooled by the cute white nose and paws…she’s a meany!

Photo submitted by: Anon

Gallery: Gato

Thursday, November 26th, 2015

Name: Gato
Location: PA

Gato is a meankitty

Hello, last time I went to the vet you cut off my no-no's, and you're confused as to why I hate vets now?

What makes Gato so mean?

Don’t let the sweet exterior fool you. True, Gato was a very sweet little stray kitten who came our way. That is, until we got him neutered.

I don’t know what went awry during the procedure, but since then he’s become a terror. He bites anyone who he’s not in the mood to deal with. He’s caused two people to get tetanus shots and been kicked out of one animal boarding house.

When it comes to veterinarian visits, he needs to be sedated for the doctors to get a handle on him (though he only weighs 8 pounds). Even then he screams, spits, and requires physical restraint in order to get his shots. His first vet was so spooked that he didn’t attempt to get near him, but he did gently recommend that we put Gato to sleep. We’ve since switched doctors.

Gato can be a good kitty, when he wants to be. I guess that’s why we’ve kept him for seven years.

Photo submitted by: Robyn

Letters: Are You Mean People?

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

Hello,

I’m just curious, are the people that belong to this group mean to kitties? I hope not because I love them myself–it’s just your name that got my attention.

Sincerely,
Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Visit-The-Site

***

Dear Can’t-Be,

Um, not exactly. More like the other way around!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Gallery: EK

Tuesday, November 24th, 2015

Name: EK, or Evil Kitties
Location: Unknown

EK is a meankitty

Just call me diet kitty! You'll lose weight running and hiding if you live with me.

What makes EK so mean?

This is E.K (Evil Kitties). We found her on the road. We took her into our house and took care of her. Now she is evilly insane. She killed all of our pet hamsters and fish. She hates everyone and will only be nice when she’s hungry. She scratches the dogs whenever they come too close. In fact, she hurt one of our dog’s eyes, and now the dog can’t see out of that eye. She doesn’t even get along with our other cat. EK chases the other cat away every time she tries to eat. Now the cat is very skinny, and this cat used to be obese.

I have several scars from her on my arms, just from being to close to her. EK spends her days in the back of the closet where no one can get her. She comes out to eat, then she escapes into the garage through the hole she chewed in the door. She spends about 22 hours of her day hiding, then the rest eating.

Photo submitted by: Lauren

Letters: Our Favorite Letter EVAH

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Note: This email was actually received by us. See if you can tell which parts we “revised”!!
Note the 2nd: We did not add the first mention of ferrets.

Dear Meankitty,

I’ve been looking over your “Mean Kitty” gallery, and from the descriptions of the cats it’s possible that most of them are either in chronic pain, lashing out because of it, and need veterinary care; were terribly abused when younger, and need to be treated differently than if they had had normal upbringing — again, a vet should be consulted for that; or are simply being treated in a way no self-respecting cat (or human being, for that matter) would like blah blah, and are trying to tell the human beings who treat them with disrespect to have better manners.

The blah blah remainder are very similar to cats (and ferrets) I’ve actually known to whom idiots gave psychedelic drugs when they were kittens, something which blah blah blah, at that stage of a cat’s life, permanently deranges their nervous systems, and may need antipsychotic medication — otherwise they can’t help but be paranoid at all times, frightened of everyone and everything, on an emotional roller-coaster that never stops. Cats (and ferrets) aren’t mean for no reason, any more than human beings are blah. There are always reasons, and if these people do love their cats, they really need blah blah to research the problems they’re describing here. I’d be glad to provide what information I can for each class of problems, but I’m not a professional vet, and they really ought to turn to vets as well as to the many good books on the subject for the best information for this. Blah blah.

I have a feeling that many of these people expect their cats to act like dogs blah blah blah, and treat them as if they were dogs, or gerbils, or hamsters, or blah blah blah blah blah, or whatever non-feline animal it may be, and that just doesn’t work with cats, any more than it would, say, a ferret. Or they see them as animated stuffed toys, appliances there for the owner’s convenience rather than individuals in their own blah blah blah right, with souls, spirits, and blah minds of their own. If so, they really should not have a cat. A cat is as much an individual as any human being or, for that matter, ferret, and, like a human being (or ferret), very much resents being taken for granted, and treated as if it were not a sentient, sapient being (or ferret) with its own emotional and spiritual as well as physical needs. A good veterinarian (or ferret) can make this clearer.

But the gist of it is that some people just aren’t meant to have cats (or ferrets) blah blah blah ferrets blah blah. Maybe dogs are better for them and they for dogs, say, or maybe some other type of pet. People should have the types of pets they can empathize with, whom they can see as people — albeit non-human people — in their own right, and I have a feeling some of these nice people whose cats are portrayed here just aren’t able to empathize very well with their cats blah blah blah, blah.

Blah blah blah dogs want us to be pack-leaders, and live to obey us. Cats (and ferrets) want true I-thou blah blah blah relationships with us, in which they are seen by us blah as emotional and spiritual peers, blah blah. True, they don’t have the keys to the car blah blah and couldn’t use them if they did (though ferrets could), but the same blah blah blah blah is true of a quadriplegic. Think of blah blah blah Sir Stephen Hawking, the world-renowned blah cosmologist and physicist (and ferret), who has been completely paralyzed for many years save for the one finger he can move to type blah blah blah and thus communicate with others (and ferrets). Trapped in a body that doesn’t work any more, blah blah blah, he has been able to change the whole universe for us (and ferrets) as no one since Einstein has, blah blah blah blah.

Obviously his body doesn’t have much to say about what he is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah spiritually and emotionally! The same is true of cats (and ferrets). Their spirits and souls are as blah blah blah big as those of Sir Stephen. When we don’t acknowledge that, they really resent that blah blah blah — and they also, understandably, become afraid of us, because if we don’t see them as intelligent beings in their own right, we are very likely to mistreat them (and ferrets), and they know that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah meow blah blah. Fear makes beings lash out at whoever and whatever they fear (and ferrets) — hence the “meanness” of those “mean” kitties blah blah meow meow blah blah. They aren’t congenitally meow blah blah meow bad — they are chronically insulted, outraged, and fearful (like ferrets). Or they are permanently stoned meeeeeeow blaaaaaaah because some moron gave them blah blah LSD as kittens, or they are in chronic agony because of internal blah blah blah blah injuries that haven’t been properly treated (by ferrets).

One way or another, the cats (and ferrets) aren’t the only ones with attitude problems blah blah blah blah — and the attitude “problems” they have are, in most cases, at least, highly reasonable reactions to what they justifiably perceive as ill-treatment of one sort or another. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah meow bark bark hiss poo poo blah blah blah. Maybe they just get tired of bad manners on our part. Or they could be reacting to the very real, physical pain somebody puts them in picking them up the wrong way blah blah blah blah blah blah mewwwwwwwwow blah, aggravating old injuries (made by ferrets). Or they may need blah blah blah blah antipsychotic medication to control a condition (like ferret rash) they really can’t help and aren’t responsible for blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah meow.

Whatever it is, I think someone ought to let the owners of blah blah blah blah blah blather blah humph meow blah blah these cats (and ferrets) know that they might want to check with a good vet (or ferret) to see blah blah blah blah blah what actually underlies the behavior problems blah blah blah blah blah cat cat ferret cat potato head pink thing cat blah blah — or find a home for their blah blah meow meow blah blah cats where the cats will be cherished blah blah blah blah blah for what they are, and cared for properly, and get a pet for themselves (like ferrets) they can empathize with blah blah blah blah blah and take care of properly, instead. Blah blah blah blah blah ferret love blah blah meow blah blah eat tuna blah blah blah blah blah blah blah meow bark bark bark bark bow-wow.

Signed,
Name Withheld to Protect the Humorless

***

Dear Human,

Oh. My. Meow.

Signed,
Meankitty

Letters: wHaT???

Sunday, November 22nd, 2015

Dear Meankitty,

what!!!????? what kind of website is this!! thats sick!!!

Signed,
oUtRaGeEd

***

Dear Bad Spelling Slave,

Last time I checked it was called www.MEANkitty.com, emphasis on the MEAN. What’s with all you weird humans taking this advice seriously lately?? I guess it’s just the price of fame!

Signed,
Meankitty

Letters: I Am Dum

Sunday, November 22nd, 2015

Note: This email was sort of in response to the Yahoo Notifications we send out periodically when we update the site. We don’t send them often!

***

Dear Meankitty,

REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS.
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>
REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST IMMEDIATELY!
I HAVE ASKED BEFORE>
I DO NOT LIKE YOUR SPIN ON THINGS>

Signed,
Hating-You

***

Dear All Slaves Who Cannot Follow Instructions,

The way to rid yourself of my periodic emails is written plainly at the bottom of every email I send out. To wit: “To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: meankitty-unsubscribe at yahoogroups.com.” If you hit reply to the emails that come to you, this WILL NOT get you removed from the list, unless you ask real nice, which, oddly enough, people rarely do. It may, however, get your email posted on this page for the delectation of the meankitty-loving masses!

Have a nice day and good luck removing yourself from the list!

Sincerely,
MK