Archive for May, 2015

Gallery: Weechin

Monday, May 25th, 2015

Name: Weechin
Location: Under the beds, spitting out meds

Swee aka Weechin is a meankitty

Do not pose the S'wee in tawdry photos or the Swee will shred you later.

What makes Weechin so mean?

Her name is because when she was a kitten she had a small (wee) chin. Her current nickname is S’wee which stands for Sweet Wee. She just turned one year old and to celebrate her “coming out” she decided to Belly Up to the Bar at our house. She is so temperamental and touchy that we developed a top-ten list of “Things Not to do to the S’wee”.

1. Do not kiss the S’wee
2. Do not pickup/hold the S’wee
3. Do not approach the S’wee
4. Do not taunt the S’wee
5. Do not look at the S’wee
6. Do not roughhouse with the S’wee
7. Do not make loud noises around the S’wee
8. Do not keep old food in bowl of the S’wee (if it’s more than an hour old she will not eat it)
9. Do not talk to the S’wee
10. Do not ignore the S’wee

All of the above are from true experiences that either my wife or I have encountered.

Submitted by: Steve

Advice: Wretched Little Rats

Saturday, May 23rd, 2015

Dear Meankitty:

My human just brought home this wretched little feline to share my space. His name is Sam, apparently, but I think of him as “the crapper.” He follows me around and makes these stupid chirping noises when he runs. He is a total runt and probably weighs less than my tail. I know I could just rip his little black head off, but I worry about the stain that might make on my pristine white fur. Can you suggest a neater, tidier way to get rid of the menace?

Sincerely,
Meankitty Nala

***

Dear Friend Nala,

It’s going to take some work on your part, but we recommend you master the art of the sliding glass door. The slaves will forget to lock it one day — use the SOHC hypnotism technique on page 56 of the manual if you must — and you can slide it open and shove the Crapper out it. Then he will run away, because he sounds like the type, and you will have your human to yourself again. I am very sympathetic to your plight, as at the time I am answering this email we have 4 crappy rats upstairs and all my plots to rid myself of them and their stinking mother have failed. So far.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

[[Note: this historically significant and yet accurate advice was written during Meankitty’s trial of Kittenwatch, documented on the archive site. There are not currently any kittens OR rats in the Meankitty household.]]