Archive for April, 2015

Gallery: Dominic

Thursday, April 30th, 2015

Name: Dominic
Location: Unknown

Dominic is a meankitty

To be politically correct, you should just call me SIR, YES SIR.

What makes Dominic so mean?

When we got him at 8 months of age his name was “Hitler” because of his ‘half mustache.’ In the attempt to be politically correct, we renamed him ‘Dominic.’ Now I’m starting to think there was something to that original name.

* He nips my fingers and toes while I’m still in bed in the morning. If I’m ‘clever’ enough to cover my body parts with the blanket, he goes for my face. The longer you ignore him, the more aggressive he gets. Band-aids are strategically placed next to the bed.

* For some reason he feels the need to chew my wedding band off. His teeth often miss the intended target and find their way into my flesh. At times my ring finger has been fatter than my thumb due to swelling. Don’t think he liked me getting married.

Dominic is a meankitty

Who needs claws when I have teeth and brute strength?

* Wakes us up at least once every night trying to claw his way into our bedroom or our daughter’s bedroom (he is declawed); and then….

* Wakes us up during a second portion of the night beating up the stray cat.

* Has scarred the nose/face of our gentle, minding-his-own-business 100 lb. Golden Retriever (thus the need for declawing him).

* Has killed 1 of our pet frogs, and directly killed 2 of our pet lizards (and indirectly a 3rd whom we think had a heart attack). Strange part too is we have no idea how he got to the lizards in the first place because they were living in a sealed terrarium.

* Insists on running outside every time we open the front door even a centimeter although we totally intended for him to be an indoor cat – then he won’t come back inside.

* I swear he vomits because he enjoys hearing me cuss as I clean it up. Have taken him to the vet more than once and they insist his tummy is just fine. I try to chase him into our kitchen (because of the linoleum floor – easier clean-up) right before he gets sick, but kitty must love the feel of rug underneath his feet and hides under the dining room table to finish his purging. This is what they invented long tablecloths for – to hide what’s underneath!

Submitted by: John and Lea

Gallery: Baby (4)

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

Name: Baby (4)
Location: Richmond, VA

Baby is a Meankitty

Nope. Not moving'.

What makes Baby so mean?

This lazy fatty won’t move off the couch. My husband and I got Baby from my parents, who are moving, a while ago. She has lived outdoors all of her 12 years and is adjusting like a queen to indoor life.

Among her new hobbies are the following activities: claiming the entire couch as her personal throne, attempting to run the household from her throne, defending her throne from the other four cats with almighty swats of her paws, not allowing her slaves to sit on the couch (or if they do they must contort around her because SHE cannot be bothered), trying to sleep on her slaves’ faces during the night, shedding all over the couch, meowing pitifully and alarming everyone as though she were dying, putting herself first under threat of Death when snacks are given out, giving everyone the Death Stare if they offend her sensibilities in any way, and finally, lolling around on her back looking as cute as possible in an effort to convince her slaves that she really ISN’T the most Satanic cat in this household.

Baby is a meankitty

It's hard work hogging the whole couch. How about you get me some snackage? You can choose that or Death.

No one is convinced.

Submitted by: Emily & Wesley

Advice: Litterbox Misery

Tuesday, April 7th, 2015

Dear Meankitty,

My cat won’t go in the box, my cat won’t go in the box, my cat won’t go in the box, my cat whizzes in the clothes, my cat poops in the living room! What will I do?

Sincerely,
Ten Thousand Slaves

***

Dear Slaves,

I get this question more often than any other. Any. Other. I have answered it several times, in several variations, but no more! At least, no more until I feel like answering it again. Or think of something new that is bound to be entirely useless for actual cat behavioral issues, which you may or may not have noticed, I don’t often “do”. Anyway, if you asked me this anytime over, oh, I dunno, the past freakin’ year, this is your response.

Sincerely,
Meankitty