Archive for March, 2014

Gallery: Soeren

Monday, March 31st, 2014

Name: Soeren
Location: Scandinavia

Soeren is a meankitty

Dress me in a stupid hat and take my picture, will you? You shall pay, human. You shall pay.

What makes Soeren so mean?

Soeren is a Scandinavian Zombie cat who bites on everyone and everything. On this picture he has just finished off Santa Claus (wearing his cap as evidence). What can we do about him?

Meankitty says: I think he would not be so mad if you didn’t put hats on him. Also, if you gave him his own can of sardines every day…that might help.

Submitted by: Bjorn and Therese

Gallery: Murphey

Sunday, March 30th, 2014

Name: Murphey
Location: Arizona

Murphey is a meankitty

If they're dumb enough not to notice me behind TRANSPARENT curtains, they deserve to get clawed up.

What makes Murphey so mean?

Murphey’s mother (Fluffy) was a stray that my family ended up taking in, and then our tabby Eddie knocked her up and she had five kittens. I got to keep Murphey.

He was very sweet to me when he was a baby. He used to sleep in my hair every night. He was extremely obnoxious to everyone else, though, and used to run all the way from my room into my mother’s room and claw his way up one side of the curtains on her window and down the other. I knew every time he did it because I would hear her shriek “Murphey!” at the top of her lungs, and then she would yell at me to come get my demon cat and put him outside. He also used to lie in wait in my closet behind my see-through curtains for my mom, my sister, or my mom’s fat pug Kiwi to walk by, whereupon he would jump out and attack them. Oh, and he would bite anyone who tried to pet him (except for me, of course). He even peed on my mother’s bed twice. One summer he got into a fight with his mom, Fluffy, in our backyard and pushed her into the pool.

Murphey is a wet meankitty

FYI, pushing ME into the pool after I was just trying to teach the old lady to swim is NOT GOOD. Wait and see what happens on your bed NOW, human.

Unfortunately, a couple of months ago he got very sick and passed on, and I miss him and think of him every single day. But I know that he’s having fun terrorizing everyone up there in kitty-heaven. I love you, Murph!!!

Submitted by: Lexie

Gallery: Leela

Saturday, March 29th, 2014

Name: Leela
Location: Florida

Leela is a meankitty

Does this look like the face of a kitty who'd do all those naughty things? Yeah? OK FINE!

What makes Leela so mean?

Leela is the latest kitty addition to our household. My husband snatched her from underneath the building where he works wjere several feral cats were living. Needless to say, not one of them was fixed. Leela was one of the litters that was birthed in April 2000.

Leela had an eye infection, and one eye was sort of shut, so we had to take her to the vet before we could bring her home. We didn’t have a name for her, but since we love “futurama”, we named our temporarily one eyed cat “Leela” after the show’s one eyed alien ship captain.

Anyway, Leela is *the* meankitty of the Royal household. She can sometimes be good, but most of the time she is very, very bad.

Some of Leela’s likes:

-toilet paper (she loves to grab it and run down the hallway, as it streams behind her)

-paper towels (she jumps on the kitchen counter and pulls them down; see toilet paper, above)

-jumping on the dining room table and leaving little litter particles everywhere. yum!

-jumping on mommy and in the bathroom sink while mom does her makeup and hair

-standing below the ice dispenser on the fridge, watching and waiting for falling objects

-her rhino beanie baby, which she plays fetch with

-any kind of fabric that hangs down, ex. curtains, sewing fabric, tablecloths, dishtowels

-running around on the top of the comforter, chasing after feet and hands, just as her mom and dad are trying to freaking sleep….

Leela is a meankitty

If you'd get out of the way, I've got some poopy litter between my paw pads I need to distribute on the table...

She can really be a little beast sometimes, because she’s got so much energy, and she’s so defiant. but we love her. I particularly love when she jumps on me right out of the shower…she rests her head on my shoulder and purrs, like she’s giving me a kitty hug *sigh*. Too bad she can’t be that way all the time!

Submitted by: Tricia Royal

Meankitty’s Note: Leela was one of the VERY FIRST KITTIES to ever be in Meankitty’s Gallery. YAY LEELA!

Advice: Arm Attacker

Friday, March 28th, 2014

Dear Meankitty,

Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try this on the upcoming baby! What do I do?

Signed,
Gelibeanr

***

Dear Gelibeanr,

It’s because you’re a sitting duck and duck tastes gooooood. Mmmm, duck.

Sincerely,
MK

PS: No advice on how to integrate cats & babies until the twain actually meet. Big D and I are exceptionally well-mannered with the small slaves. The food/door opening slave is usually subject to much more “loving attention” than a baby.

Gallery: Waldo

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

Name: Waldo
Location: His Department

Waldo is right here

Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!

What makes Waldo so mean?

Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

Gallery: Vincent

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

Name: Vincent
Location: Unknown

Vincent the meankitty

No, no, not the light, not the light! IT BURNS!

What makes Vincent so mean?

Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.

Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.

Photo submitted by: Darryl

Gallery: Gabba

Tuesday, March 25th, 2014

Name: Gabba
Location: Kaloomps, BC Canada

Gabba was a meankitty

You can call me ugly...you can call me mean...you can call me slouchy...just don't call me fat! Or else.

What makes Gabba so mean?

Gabba wasn’t really a “mean kitty”, but she didn’t have either any trouble or hesitations of voicing her discomfort(s)/dislike(s) of people, places or things. From what I have heard calicos are just a wee bit tempermental. Her life before me granted her that right. Her former owner was a druggie and mistreated her in several ways Meankitty is opting not to share with delicate, underage viewers whose parents might get ticked off if we printed stuff like that. (!!) (And doesn’t that sound more ominous and dire than the real thing? Seriously. It’s all about the power of the imagination.) That sort of life style for people is hard enough, but to bring a cat(s) into must be equally as hard on the animal.

Once we crossed paths, I became her human. She had no trouble now being a fat and lazy cat. Most people called her “fat cat” when they first would see her, but I would put an end to it right there. Thought it was funny that people can say such things about an animal without giving it a second thought, but heaven forbid if I were to walk up to someone say, “You’re fat.” That would be considered very offensive. She seem to take all in stride, or just didn’t care.

She loved sitting on the couch, thus erned the the nickname “couch slouch” (darn good song by D.R.I.). Speaking of punk music she seemed to care little, or dare I say might even of liked some of the noise that blasted from my record player; just maybe she learned to put up with it. Her favorite toy was string on a stick, which taught me about the simple things in life. (Meankitty’s note: so would the 3 chords in a lot of punk rock *wink*) Feed her three times a day, play with her a bit, let her have her place on the couch and a snuggle before lights out, or while I read in bed, and she was extremly content with life.

When I did find her, she was already an old cat with some health issues. They slowly got worse, even more of them. After five great years of having her in my life, I lost her. Given her hard life, that was the “classy” way to let go.

The guy with charged hair and sun glasses in her picture is whom she is named after: Gabba from Chaos UK.

Submitted by: Chuckie Hardcore

RIP Mean Gabba!

Gallery: Ace

Monday, March 24th, 2014

Name: Ace
Location: Caspar, WY, at a machine shop

Ace is a meankitty

Who needs a watchdog or a burglar alarm when you have me?

What makes Ace so mean?

Ace is definitely a mean kitty. Though just a kitten he has a really mean streak. He took over as shop cat from Rufus who sadly passed away last spring and was a nice friendly kitty. Ace was hired as a replacement and he seemed to be a nice gentle kitten….

Until he grew up a bit.

Ace is destructive

The feather toy was hardly a challenge to my destructo-kitty mode.

He used to rest on his kitty slave’s bosom and purr away. Now he lies in wait for customers to come into the shop. Pet him and he’ll turn around and grab your hand and bite you! Hard! It makes no difference if you are male or female, employee or customer. Pet him and you suffer. He also likes to nibble on his meankitty slave, Christy. She is the one who saved him from the local kill shelter and does he show appreciation? NO! She suffers with the rest of us. He tears up toys in no time flat. I used to take him a toy from time to time, but why waste money? It’s in pieces before you leave the office. He tore up one rather largeish mouse toy in 20 minutes. So, if you need machine work on something, call first and see if Ace is in the office; if he is go directly to the shop.

Ace is a meankitty

Hey...hey, human...you okay down there? I didn't realize the sight of your own blood made you woozy.

As Ace grows, we all wonder what he’ll be like. A terror no doubt! He doesn’t do touchy-feely, he does ouchy-bleedy!

Submitted by: Sue K.