Archive for September, 2013

Gallery: Imelza

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Name: Imelza
Location: Australia

Imelza

Luckily I see humans about to come into the house. No need to terrorise the nearest inanimate object.

What makes Imelza so mean?

This is our cat, Imelza. Looks sweet, doesn’t she? Don’t be fooled. We were. We got her from the RSPCA when she was a tiny, cute little hairball with huge ears. Now, she’s in charge of the house, or at least that’s what she thinks. When she’s not asleep in the most obstructive spot she can possibly find, she’s keeping up a non-stop whine for someone to feed her. But I think she still whines even when she’s not hungry. Sometimes, when she’s bored, she terrorises the nearest cat/leg/chicken/bit of furniture. I still have the scars from the last time she went after me.

Imelza the mean

Jerk? Me? Now you've gone and made me cranky. You aren't going to like it when I'm cranky.

She’s got such a nice name (I suggested it), but no-one in the house ever uses it. Instead, they call her ‘Jerk’ or ‘Arrgh’, or just ‘the cat’.

Photo submitted by: Katie Taylor

Advice: Bell the Cat

Sunday, September 29th, 2013

Dear Meankitties et al,

As I was browsing though the stories and pictures of the meankitties, I noticed a few of the owners complaining that their meankitties have eaten so many birds, mice, etc. May I suggest a bell on the collar? There are many different kinds of collars available today, and you should have an ID on your kitty if they go outside. Not only will the bell help the little critters have a chance to escape kitty-mauling, but cats can pick up parasites and diseases from eating birds and mice.

Sincerely,
Arlene C., Tampa, Fl.

***

Dear Arlene,

First, instead of owners, don’t you mean staff? We kitties are the only owners in this equation. Second, I hate my bell. I loathe my bell. It totally prevents me from creep attacks in the dark midnight hours. I often rub the break-away collar off on various protruding pieces of furniture, but my typing slave always puts it back on. So what if the red ladybugs on the white collar look so fetching against my silky black and grey fur?

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Gallery: Kali

Saturday, September 28th, 2013

Name: Kali
Location: Unknown

Kali is mean

Quick, tell me....do you see any gerbil left in my teeth?

What makes Kali so mean?

This is Kali. She’s the meanest of my three kitties by a mile, and she’s only 4 months old! Her poor mum and sister need to sleep with one eye open, because if they so much as twitch, Kali will pounce claws first. It’s not only her immediate family who suffer from her rage. I’ve lost count of the number of times she’s woken me up in the morning by sinking her claws as far as she can into some sensitive part of my body (usually the soles of my feet). She also likes playing football with spiders and woodlice, and my gerbil and fish live in constant fear of their lives.

But her meanest trait by far is her refusal to be litter trained. She lulls me into a false sense of security by making a big show of how she uses her litter box for a week or so, then I’ll go out for an hour and come home to find stinky little presents all over the house and Kali laughing maniacally from her perch on top of the gerbil cage!

Photo submitted by: Anon

Gallery: Aslan

Friday, September 27th, 2013

Name: Aslan
Location: Unknown

Aslan the meankitty

I do not ALWAYS like to share.

What makes Aslan so mean?

My name is Aslan and I’m a bad kitty because I rule my humans. I’m 4 yrs. old and have a brother named Rascal, who is also 4. I was declawed as a baby, but my bro has all of his claws. I like to play with my bro, but when his nails come out I am forced to use my teeth to rip his fur into bits.

I’m a very vocal kitty with lots of sass. I say, I love you, why, now, mommy, daddy, and NO!!! My parents travel a lot, so when they’re gone I destroy the house and sun bathe on my perch. I absolutely love water. When my daddy gets a cup of it, I run straight for the glass and dunk my head right into it. Then, when it is time for bed, my humans join me in my queen-sized kitty bed. I like to share though, so I sleep right on top of my mommy’s head all night long.

Photo submitted by: Jennifer & Cory

Gallery: Cali

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

Name: Cali
Location: Unknown

Cali is a meankitty

Kiss my grits, human!

What makes Cali so mean?

What makes Cali the meanest kitty on the net? Apathy. Here’s how she acts when I summon her, yell at her, call her for dinner, plead with her to come inside, or shoe her away. In case you’re not familiar with it, this is the kitty equivalent to ‘flipping the bird’.

Photo submitted by: Scott

Gallery: Marie Leveau

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Name: Marie Leveau
Location: Unknown

Marie is mean

Why would you NOT want the "fiesty" one of the bunch?

What makes Marie so mean?

Marie was about 3 months old when she came to us, and the lady giving away the free kittens did warn us that she was the “fiesty” one of the litter. We probably should have listened!

Marie loves to drink fresh water out of our hands and will will climb up our legs (pants or no pants) if we dare brush our teeth in the morning without first attending to her thirst. She also chases us, my five-year-old included, through the house trying to attack our legs and feet. Once she catches us, she latches on and sinks her teeth in before running away. She is very particular about how her litter box is cleaned and is sure to supervise (from inside the box) while the job gets done.

Marie the meankitty

Kitty rash? Ha! I'm actually drugging you with my poison tipped claws in order to make you more malleable to my will.

However, even meankitties need love, so she will also come cuddle up on me while I sleep, with her only condition being that I not complain about her sleeping directly on my face and purring loud enough to keep me awake. If I am not available, she will settle for sleeping on my boyfriend’s chest with her butt in his face. She also loves to suck on the neck of my shirts, while kneading me with her needle-sharp claws, leaving me with little prick-marks all over my neck that look like a rash. I call them “kitty hickeys”.

Photo submitted by: April S

Gallery: Jackie

Monday, September 23rd, 2013

Name: Jackie
Location: Hollywood

Jackie is mean

Hiiiiiiiiii-yowl!

What makes Jackie so mean?

Here is a pic of my cat Jackie. As you can see he is practicing his Jackie Chan kick. He is generally a good boy but with 9 other cats in the house he has to take control and show them who’s boss…

Photo submitted by: Tim

Gallery: Eek

Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

Name: Eek
Location: NO KIDDING

Eek the cat

I'm yawning, yes, but maybe food will fall into my mouth if I hold it open!

What makes Eek so mean?

Eek tips the scales at 32 pounds (although he is very agile) so he doesn’t really need to be mean he cuts quite an imposing figure even if he is just yawning…yes he is yawning not begging for food in this picture!

Photo submitted by: Buck

Gallery: Neji

Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Name: Neji Hyuuga (Neji)
Location: Yulee, FL

Neji the meankitty

You lied! This doesn't taste at all like hair.

What makes Neji so mean?

It’s a little creepy cat if you wish. But I think he’s just my little ninja. Sometimes hhe looks so cute on the carpet, staring at you like a little angel. Yet at at bathtime he seems as if he is saying, “HEY! WHAT THE HECK! I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PUT ME IN THE DANG SINK!”

Then other times, when you least expect it, he sits under the rocking chair, waiting quietly until you come by. Out he comes, crashing into your leg and snapping up your hopeless feet until you go screaming into the bathroom to get a bandaid. Lastly, he LOVES to eat hair and especially scratch your eyes.

Photo submitted by: Kate

Gallery: Gandalf

Friday, September 20th, 2013

Name: Gandalf
Location: Singapore

Gandalf the meankitty

Ahhhh, perfect. A stationary victim!

What makes Gandalf so mean?

We got Gandalf from the SPCA. He likes to rest on my bedridden dad’s bed. He doesn’t like being picked up, and he’s real smart. He’ll go limp if you attempt to pick him up, and it’s more difficult to pick him up in that state. At other times, when you pick him up, he goes, “Meow???” and complains, then struggles out if you hold him too long, scratching you the the process.

If he’s doing something he’s not supposed to do, such as eating paper or my mom’s work, chewing wires, attempting to pull down my dad’s spare breathing tubes, or balancing on the windowsill of our 17th story apartment, drinking toilet bowl water and scratching the furniture, we tell him “NO!” and spray him with water. He’ll run away, then attempt to do it again. It’s not that he doesn’t know it’s wrong, but he likes to aggravate us, just like how he likes to parade himself in front of dogs who are unable to do anything except bark behind a wall of glass at the vet. Some dogs are even afraid of Gandalf, though they’re bigger than him.

Photo submitted by: Kevin