Archive for August, 2013

Gallery: Tangerine

Friday, August 30th, 2013

Name: Tangerine
Location: Unknown

Tangerine is mean

I’m not a tangerine dream…I’m a tangerine nightmare!

What makes Tangerine so mean?

Our cat Tangerine takes pissed-off to the root of the term. When she wants something, she wants it now, and she wants it her way. I bought a rustic carved wood bowl and put it on the table as she watched. She must have been thinking the whole time, “Humm, let’s see what I can do to that bowl!” The next morning she wanted outside at about 5AM, but I wouldn’t let her out. When I left the room and she peed in my new bowl.

One time my husband was playing with her too rough on our bed she ran off. He left the room and she came back in and carefully peed on his side of the bed. She does many things that we swear she thought out. [[Meankitty’s note: she totally does think it out.]] Even so, we wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Photo submitted by: Sherri

Gallery: Idgie

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

Name: Idgie
Location: San Fran

Idgie the Meankitty

Back off, human, I’m about to activate the time travel button and you do NOT want to be caught in the backlash.

What makes Idgie so mean?

This is Idgie. He loves his mamma (note the crazy smile/”wah?” as she snaps his picture). But he hates everyone else – unless they’re feeding him, of course. When it’s time for food, Idgie assumes you will forget what you’re doing until the food is in front of his face. Thus he will SCREAM (not even close to a simple ole’ meow; we’re talking SHRIEKING here) from the moment he thinks anyone is awake until the food bowl is in front of his face. You’d think he’d learn by now we’re NOT going to forget!!

My poor roommate suffers the most. I always thought they’d learn to get along, but over the past few years, I’ve lost all such innocence. Idgie refuses to like her. A simple movement on the couch will elicit hissing, growling, the occasional spitting. Any attempt at discipline is an exercise in futility. The vet recommended water bottle spraying. Idgie just sat there and took it, getting wetter and wetter, glaring at me in that “You will SO pay for this” kinda way.

My roommate and Idgie share the love in those rare moments she has food in her hand, but that’s it. I’ve recommended she carry tuna in her pockets, but for some reason she hasn’t gone there yet.

Photo submitted by: Laura

Gallery: Sylvester

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Name: Sylvester
Location: LA

Sylvester is a meankitty

You rude human! Point at me, will you?

What makes Sylvester so mean?

Sylvester has a tendency to bite anything that’s shoved in his face so if you poke a finger in his direction you shouldn’t be surprised that he bites it.

Sylvester bites

Though I don’t care for the taste of human flesh, I will now teach you what happens when you dare point at me.

We have a pair of cat wrangling gloves, purchased at a hardware store (okay, they’re supposed to be work gloves) and putting them on when dealing with Sly results in him redoubling his efforts such that your skin would be ripped off if you didn’t have those gloves on. He’s now learned that if he goes for the arm just above the glove he gets better results (ie loud shouts of pain).

Sylvester has big teeth

Gloves will not save you.

For all that he’s really a very loving and friendly cat who came to me when some folks moved out of town, back to England, almost 5 years ago.

Photos submitted by: Pam

Gallery: Tinky Bum

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

Name: Tinky Bum
Location: Unknown

Tinky Bum Eats Anything

Your bum would stink, too, if you had to digest *burrp!* human flesh, wires, wood…

What makes Tinky Bum so mean?

Meet Tinky Bum. He is a mean kitty. When he isn’t trying to nibble on a piece of human flesh like a bare toe, foot or hand, he chews on wires, metal and plastic parts. His favorite is wood. He even eats those chewy bone treats you give to dogs.

The worst part is we have to wash his bum every day because it stinks!

Photo submitted by: Eta

Gallery: Vincent

Monday, August 26th, 2013

Name: Vincent
Location: Unknown

Vincent is a meankitty

No, no, not the light, not the light!

What makes Vincent so mean?

Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.

Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.

Photo submitted by: Darryl

Gallery: Lars

Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Name: Lars
Location: Bremerton, WA

Lars the Meankitty

What do you think I am, a freakin’ poster kitty?

What makes Lars so mean?

Yes, he does look like a bobcat, doesn’t he? Main Coons are supposed to be part lynx. Lars is the Old Cat. He’s big. He’s sweet. He drools. All he wants is love.

When he was younger, he was known as King Lars. The self-appointed Guardian of the Sidewalks. A frightened child, a squeaking puppy, a cornered cat — and Lars would levitate across yard, fence and leg to put the hurt on their antagonist. He mistook the happy friendliness of a border collie when the dog’s mere size made a little pup squeal in fear. Lars treed — TREED — the dog up his owner. The dog trampled about on his master’s shoulders while Lars patrolled like a Yard Nazi around the man’s feet. I had to rescue them both.

Another time, a neighbor was babysitting a big dog that meant no harm and just wanted to play. But the dog got too near one of Lars’s cats. The little cat spat, and Lars heard it. Not only did the neighbor have to run through the yard into the alley with the terrified dog — but Lars took a shortcut to head them off. If I hadn’t stopped Lars, they’d still be screaming down the alley.

Lars the Meankitty

I’ll show them for making me pose…I’ll chew up the book!

Lars has gotten old and very crippled. He walks like a turtle, hunch-backed, a sore step at a time. Poor old man.

But do not –repeat– DO NOT attempt to pick him up or help him when his back is bothering him. The only teeth he has left are his fangs, and they’re nearly an inch long. He can — and HAS — sent a helpful person to the emergency room. With a hand swollen up like a football.

Pet him. Praise him. Just don’t pick him up.

Got it?

Photos submitted by: Donna B.

Gallery: Hank the Stank

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

Name: Hank
Location: Columbus, OH

Hank stanks

Head wounds bleed more, haven’t you heard? I get extra SOHC points for that.

What makes Hank so mean?

Hank the Stank (so named because he refuses to clean any of his nasty bits, I think out of principal or because he knows he smells and it bothers me) is a cat who likes to bite…your scalp and face! What started out as a cute trick (ohhh how cute, watch the kitten jump) when he was a baby has become not so funny now that he’s 10 pounds and has learned to do it “as a surprise”. Last week, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and out of nowhere, the Stank jumped onto my face and bit/scratched the TOP OF MY HEAD! I mean it bled and everything. Another cute trick he picked up (I think from hanging out with the dog too much) is when he bites, he doesn’t gnaw like most cats do. He bites down hard until he knows his teeth are hooked in and then SHAKES HIS HEAD AND PULLS (think pit-bull). Imagine how great 4 sets of claws and a pulling, shaking bite feels on top of your head.

Hank chewed up my only good pair of glasses (both lenses) and now he refuses to pay for them. I think lawyers may be involved sooner or later (or we’ll settle out of court–he’ll bite me on the face again and I’ll stop talking about it). God help anybody that tries to bathe him or clip his nails without chain mail, eye protection, and a helmet.

Photo submitted by: Mandy

Gallery: Gypsy

Friday, August 23rd, 2013

Name: Gypsy
Location: Pacific NW

Gypsy the Meankitty

I can kill with my breath…it’s my mutant kitty secret weapon!

What makes Gypsy so mean?

The queen of mean in my house is Gypsy. I used to have a sweet little kitten. I don’t know what happened?!

She scratches: people, my other animals, the furniture. She bites the hand that feeds her. She’s EXTREMELY picky with her food; it has to be a certain brand and a certain flavour, which changes. When she’s had enough of one kind, she angrily tries to cover it up, with her ears back, giving me the stink eye. So I have to look for another kind she likes, which is not easy.

Even when she’s in a loving mood, it’s unpleasant. She perches on our shoulders whether we like it or not, and always when it’s inconvenient. Her breath is atrocious, and she drools. If she ever wanted to maim someone, she could just bite you, lick the wound, which would eventually become horribly infected, causing you to develop gangrene.

Sure, I’ve taken her to the vet, had her teeth cleaned and for a check-up. But there’s apparently nothing wrong and her breath is still noxious. If you pick her up to cuddle with her, or pay some attention to her, she allows it for 30 seconds then starts to get uppity.

She has terrible mood swings. One second she’ll be nicely cleaning the face of another cat, next second she’ll slap them across the face. If they flinch they’ll get another slap. Our dogs are the referees of cat fights. She runs from them, but always plots revenge. So they’ll be bound to get theirs when they least expect it.

Photo submitted by: Thora

Gallery: Vivian

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Name: Vivian
Location: Posters for Meankitties

Vivian is mean

How dare you give a studly boycat like me a name like VIVIAN! You will rue the day, oh yes, you will rue.

What makes Vivian so mean?

Vivian is a 15-pound tabby with a serious chip on his shoulder. He will slice and dice you for no reason at all. I’m starting to think that he’s possessed.

He is truly a poster cat for meankitties everywhere.

Photo submitted by: Sarah

Gallery: Beast

Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

Name: Beast
Location: Ogre’s house

Beast is mean

Hey…are you getting up? DIBS on the chair!

What makes Beast so mean?

If you have a favorite chair, watch it!! This cat has a radar and will be in your chair the moment you get up for anything and I hope you don’t want to sit there for a while. Chances are he will still be there tomorrow.

In between fighting with his brother Ogre and terrorizing any stray birds and mice, this is what this meankitty does. He will also sashay in front of you inviting you to pet him, but the moment you reach down, he runs a few feet ahead and then turns and looks at you, inviting you to reach for him again. In this way, he helps me exercise. He just looks sweet. When he’s awake, watch out!! He has long wicked claws and he knows how to use them.

Photo submitted by: Shannon