Archive for July, 2013

Gallery: Jasmine (2)

Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Name: Jasmine (2)
Location: Unknown

Jasmine is a meankitty

You woke me up from my wonderful dream of Tom, that hunky stray!

What makes Jasmine so mean?

Bad tempered beauty queen Jasmine — if she doesn’t get at least 20 hours of sleep a night, she lets her poor roommate, Rella (the b&w), know about it.

Submitted by: Jeremy W.


Gallery: Jasmine

Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

Name: Jasmine
Location: Unknown

Jasmine is mean

My laser eyes will make you stand on one leg…scratch your nose…bend over….

What makes Jasmine so mean?

So, my bald monkey-girl left the computer on, so I’m sending you my pictures. My name is Jasmine and I’m 12 earth months old and I make people do whatever I want. The first picture is me and my super-evil-laser powered eyes. That’s how I make the bald monkeys who make me live with them do whatever I want. The other picture is me standing on monkey-girl’s back.

Jasmine is a meankitty

Carry me around on your back like a circus freak! I have you trained indeed.

If I lay down on her back, she walks around all bent over going, “Oh isn’t Jasmine cute” blah blah blah. What a loser! That’s why I knock all her stuff off the dresser and wake her up every morning at 4 a.m. to pet me. And she does it! Sucker! The bald monkey boy feeds me, lots, and cleans my litter box every day – yeah, that’s the kind of service I deserve. I spend a lot of time in the tool room, yeah, they’ll be surprised to see what I’m building – who needs opposable thumbs?

Submitted by: Her Kittiness


Gallery: Marcus

Monday, July 29th, 2013

Name: Marcus
Location: ?

Marcus is a meankitty

As soon as the human turns his back, I’m knocking all this crap to the floor.

What makes Marcus so mean?

Marcus was a mean kitty…if you were another kitty. Don’t let the sweet look fool you. Sure he was sweet to his human slaves, but to other animals he was psycho. No one was safe when he was in the same room with another animal. Even innocent bystanders were not safe, suffering his wrath if they got in the way. He lived fast and died young, but he was our mean kitty and we loved him anyway.

Submitted by: Peter Miller


Gallery: Neko (2)

Sunday, July 28th, 2013

Name: Neko (2)
Location: Glendive, MT

Neko is a meankitty

Don’t play on the computer…play with me!

What makes Neko so mean?

Neko likes beating up the puppy, biting Daddy, and running around the house making demonic kitty-calls. But so far she’s only half mean, as she also still likes sleeping and cuddling with Mommy (me). She also enjoys “helping” while I’m at the computer. She definitely does not like being petted while she’s grumpy or being woken up from a nap. Two landmark evils have included hunting my salamander, which I later found dried up under my bed, and peeing on my pillow while I slept, her first week home. We rescued her from a dumpster, and this is the thanks we get!

neko beats up dogs

If you won’t play with me, I’ll beat up the dog.

Neko follows in the footsteps of my dearly departed meankitty, Tess, whom we had to trade in for a set of matched silverware of because of her newfound hobby of bringing in mangled mice, birds, and bunnies. Let’s hope Neko will not repopulate our home with disease carrying rodents.

Submitted by: Anissa


Gallery: Maxx

Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Name: Maxx
Location: Unknown

maxx is a meankitty

Time for some…attention…give it to me!

What makes Maxx so mean?

Maxx is the coolest cat I or my friends have ever known. For instance he drinks with his paw only, not by bending down and drinking from bowl. He scoops or dips his paw in and licks it that way. He eats anything but meat unless its dry or moist cat food. Some of the things he likes are popcorn bits, nacho chips, bananas.

maxx is a meankitty

I only play guitar to get chicks. And catnip.

He even plays the guitar. I was ignoring him one day and suddenly heard my guitar, which he was “strumming” to get my attention. In addition to playing guitar, he bites me when he wants more attention.

Submitted by: Barrie


Gallery: Maximus

Friday, July 26th, 2013

Name: Maximus
Location: Hollywood

max is mean to girlfriends

Ooooh, I see a girlfriend! That pisses me off!

What makes Maximus so mean?

Little did I know how close I hit the mark by naming this mean kitty Maximus after the Gladiator of the same name. While only 2 years old, he is feared by all my friends and his name is whispered in fear among ex-girlfriends. Anyone who has ever come over to my place says the same thing: that cat is psycho.

True to the heritage his name bears, he is a fierce fighter and will defend his kingdom (in this case the corner of my couch where he sleeps) to the death by his patent-pending Puncture Attack Claw and bite combo. His daily training consists of my hands in the shapes of a snakes moving on him in a velociraptor-like fashion. Because of this, my forearms are constantly covered in scratches.

maximus is a meankitty

I’m preparing for my other patent pending attack, the Raptor Spring! I can achieve human head height!

What is most confusing is that he can be quite lovable, often laying straddled on my chest and purring and following me wherever I go. This, however, is only a front for his true nature. Hands or feet that stray over the edge of the bed during the night, as well as one’s head while sleeping, are all fair game. Often standing on hind legs to attack, Maximus is truly the meanest cat I have ever owned, his psychotic demeanor tempered only by myself alone.

Submitted by: David DeVere


Gallery: Maxi

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Name: Maxi
Location: Unknown

maxi is a meankitty

Bite a cat? People taste better!

What makes Maxi so mean?

Maxi was rescued from the Morris animal shelter about 7 years ago and was so afraid of everything that she would hiss and run away every time company came. Eventually, she warmed up, and now she’s just the life of the party. Often seen wearing a lampshade on her head and terrorizing random human slaves.

Too bad she’s not the same way with other cats. She doesn’t retaliate when her feline sister attacks her and bites her on the neck in a mean way.

Submitted by: Kris


Gallery: Max (3)

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Name: Max
Location: Atop the computer

max is a fat kitty

Time to visit, human…

What makes Max so mean?

I have a mean kitty myself named Max he is 22 pounds and the vet has to sedate him just to be examined. He used to drag one of my other cats around by the neck.

The computer monitor shelf Max is on in the picture is no longer applicable to flat screen monitors, but man was it handy back when monitors were boxes!

Submitted by: Sandy


Gallery: Max (2)

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Name: Max (2)
Location: Unknown


max is a meankitty

Man, I’m so tired from leaping over her head all night alternating with door slamming. It’s a hard job, being me.

What makes Max so mean?

Max is my mean kitty. He is mean because he has learned how to slam my bedroom door and scare me while I’m asleep. He also leaps over my head in the middle of the night or in the early morning if he wants to be fed. He will only throw up on my rugs, never on the floor where it would be easy to clean. After he throws up on my rugs and it has been cleaned up, he’ll continue to scratch at the spot until the rug disintegrates.

Submitted by: Rachel


Gallery: Max

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

Name: Max
Location: Oakland

Max is a meankitty

I read in the SOHC newsletter that the grilled and minced turkey contained secret dog germs! Yech!

What makes Max so mean?

Max has bi-polar personality disorder. He can be so sweet and cuddly and wonderful that three of my friends rushed out to adopt their own cats after they met Max. Then, there’s his dark side. He can shred my ankles to bloody pulp before I even realize that I’ve been hit.

Sadly, Max had a rough childhood on the streets of Oakland. But after six years of pampering, he very kindly lets me live with him in this nice apartment and buy him the ONLY flavor of Fancy Feast that he will eat – sliced turkey feast in the orange can. (NOT minced turkey feast and definitely NOT grilled turkey feast.)

Submitted by: Susan