Archive for March, 2013
Sunday, March 31st, 2013
Die, Tigger, die!
What makes Fudgie so mean?
Fudgie’s so mean he’s taken over a stuffed animal and refuses to give it back. Tigger goes everywhere with Fudge, usually by being dragged around by the jugular area. Needless to say, this mean kitty has removed all the ‘fur’ from Tigger’s neck and the stuffed tiger looks like the victim of an insane vampire attack.
Fudgie also chases our two dogs around the house, although the parrot did manage to show him who is boss with a Kung Fu maneuver. Since then, Fudgie gets even by taking naps in the parrot’s cage, which forces the bird to the top until Fudgie decides he’d rather be chasing the dogs or demanding a sniff and a lick of whatever we’re eating. Fudgie also stalks the house like a great cat of the Serengeti, ready to run out and pounce on anyone who dares to think they can just walk anywhere they want in his house. He insists on supervising us in the bathroom and will howl if we don’t let him in.
Die, human, die!
We’ve given up trying to eat at the kitchen table, since this appears to be Fudgie’s private domain. Whether its the surface or the seats, this mean kitty has never heard of sharing. Even when Fudgie is being a good boy and lets you pet him, if you even consider stopping, he wraps his paws around your hand and holds it in place. Rubbing the Fudge can take hours or days; people have starved to death in the process. The UN has been notified.
Submitted by: Trista
Saturday, March 30th, 2013
Don’t. You. Dare.
What makes Frisky so mean?
Frisky is one mean old man. He is 14 years old and every year becomes a bit more ornery. His favorite ploy is to nuzzle my face and then when I least expect it try to bite my chin off. He is attacking me as I am writing because my arm is moving. That must be the body part of choice for today that he has decided must not be allowed to move or will be attacked. This changes daily.
Hey, that tangerine on your plate looks really barfworthy! Think I’ll swipe it.
He is so senile and selfish that he will meow at the top of his lungs all night long until I meow back, get up and pet him. Then he proceeds to run through the house like there was a fire, repeatedly. For my feeding time his favorite game is to stand below my feet just out of sight so I step on his tail. Then while petting him he will race away and steal whatever may be on my plate within his reach. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like it, he will steal the food anyway, then puke it up right in the main walk path.
MEOW MEOW MEOW! I’m not senile, I’m a kitty lounge singer.
He is so ornery that one time I cleaned the litter box in front of him and that must not have been clean enough because he sniffed it and walked over to the fake tree and did his business!
Submitted by: Mallory
Friday, March 29th, 2013
Location: Sacremento, CA
Could you give me a hand here? I batted your car keys under the couch and I can’t seem to reach them.
What makes Freja so mean?
Freja screams bloody murder if you pick her up to give her luvvies. She doesn’t like to be held. She pees on our luggage outta spite when we return from a weekend trip. She has “issues”. When she and her buddy Thor were kittens, they would terrorize our apartment like two rampant squirrels. We have sacrificed plants, flowers in vases, and our carpet from glasses being knocked over by these terrors.
Submitted by: Laura
Thursday, March 28th, 2013
I’m not stuck up, I’m hung down!
What makes Caspar so mean?
This is my meankitty Caspar. He is mean because he refuses to leave his sisters alone. He is constantly beating on them. To everyone else he is just plain standoffish.
I’m the not-so-friendly ghost.
Then after being a stuck up bully all day he thinks he gets to cuddle with me at night. At bedtime he’s my best buddy. Can you believe it?
Submitted by: Norm
Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
See me wink at you? Yes, luring you to the kitchen at 5 am was a little joke of mine!
What makes Frankie so mean?
This is my roommate’s cat, named after Old Blue Eyes. At first glance you find a cat that seems so sweet and innocent. Then at 5:30am, when my alarm goes off, you hear it. The loudest meow that is more ear piercing than a fire alarm! When I go to check on the beast, he makes you follow him into the kitchen where it appears that he wants to play. I have been fooled again, and he commences to chew on my ankles and my hands when I try to pry him off before I bleed to death.
This is me laughing at stupid sleepwalking humans…hee hee hee!
God forbid my boyfriend and I walk out the door and leave the screen door open. Frankie would scream so loud, you could hear him clear across the complex. This was until he pulled the mesh off the screen and learned to jump from the second story balcony and land in the ivy below. Quite an amazing feat, yet to be caught on camera.
Submitted by: Melissa
Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
Name: Bob Tail, also a girl
At 5 am, I require service. Hey, can’t they just sleep in the daytime, like I do?
What makes Bob so mean?
We named her Bob because she has a bobtail. She loves to antagonize our dogs. She will also tell tell you off if her cat food is not fresh. Her worst trait is she thinks everybody needs to wake up at 5am!
Submitted by: Anon
Monday, March 25th, 2013
Name: Bob (3)
You’re just a squirrel…tryin’ to get a nut…so move your butt! But not on the dance floor, or out the door, move it into the kitchen and get me some food.
What makes Bob so mean?
Whenever you leave the house (read: his domain), Bob gets extremely upset. It’s his world and we’re just squirrels trying to get a nut, NOT individuals who are free to roam at will. So when you get home, he runs down the stairs and hops on a chair to nuzzle you and purr and welcome you with open paws.
After your heart has been softened by this display of love and affection and you are leaning down talking baby talk to him, he’ll remember YOU LEFT HIM! Promptly those open arms of his turn into an open jugular of yours. All in my household have, at one time or another, had to deal with the shame and embarrassment of Bob’s teethmarks on our necks, or cheek, or face. And yet every new day finds us glaze-eyed slaves bending to his will and falling for his act. One. More. Time.
Photo submitted by: Michele
Sunday, March 24th, 2013
Name: Bob (2) is a Girl
You’re as young as you feel, baby!
What makes Bob so mean?
We like to claim she is Satan. She was found under and underpass, riddled with fleas and possessed of many other ailments.
Bob is 15 (almost 16). In the picture she has just captured her tail. Even as old as she is, she still plays with her tail. Actually we think she is trying to kill it before it gets her. We are convinced she doesn’t understand that it is part of her.
Bob doesn’t like men (except my boyfriend and one friend of his who has long hair that she grew up around). Bob’s favorite activity is to sit on a woman and “petty paw” with her claws in her long hair. However, she “short circuits” every so often and suddenly will hiss and/or swat you with her paw.
Submitted by: Marie
Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
She claims this is to punish me…but 20 seconds after this photo was taken, I showed her the true meaning of torture!
What makes Bob so mean?
Bob came to us as a stray. What about Bob? He’s lucky he is so cute because he provokes the other older cats and always tries to command all the attention. If he were a girl, he’d be Chatty Kathy.
Bob didn’t like when we brought a new kitten into the house so he decided to ignore her and sit on top of her. I decided to torture him for that one by putting antlers on him. As you can see he is thrilled.
Submitted by: Anon
Friday, March 22nd, 2013
Name: Bleeping Kitty
Do I look like a man with a record? Come on! Maybe a record of legendary cuteness…
What makes Kitty so mean?
Finally! Someone who understands what I have been going through for almost 6 years! I had never heard of another meankitty besides mine before!
Kitty – formerly known as Levi – is the definition of *MEANKITTY*. Why, you ask? Well, take his name. He used to be called Levi, but after many, many, many attacks to my husband, he no longer came to his given name! Why? Because my husband would always yell “*Bleeping* kitty”! And now he answers to Kitty. (Bleeping Kitty in particular.)
This is the face I present to guests after she does her obligatory “Beware of Cat” warning. They all think she’s a liar…until it’s too late. Heh heh heh.
BK (Bleeping Kitty) loves to hang on to your legs as you walk by, and by hang on I mean nails and teeth. He looks like a 3 year old child, not only by weight (he’s 18 pounds of meankitty) but also by the way he desperately holds on for dear life while you walk down the hall. He sent a good friend of ours to the hospital, a man who is a body builder and has arms bigger than the cat himself!
Kitty has a record with the Board of Health and Humane Society of Ontario, Canada, because of this. Who knew that if you go to the hospital with gashes from a cat that they have to follow up with the owners every year until he dies?? I refuse to take him to the vets, for fear that they will keep him!
Oh, did I mention that he thinks he is a dog? He hates cats and sleeps in a dog bed and drinks out of the toilet. I have to warn my friends and company that he is mean and do not touch the cat, for fear that something else will happen. (And because Board of Health and Humane Society of Ontario tells me I do!)
18 pounds of purr and fur, baby!
After all the trouble and bleeping, he still sleeps between us, occasionally cuddles, and does pose well for cute pictures. So we still love him!
Submitted by: Brandy & Rob