Archive for November, 2012
Friday, November 30th, 2012
Name: Puddy Tat
Location: Fairbanks, AK
I may not like to eat catfood but I sure like regurgitating it!
What makes Puddytat so mean?
Once three years ago I came to live at the residence of one Evil Feline by the name of Puddytat. I was met at the top of the stairs by her Evil Highness. If I checked out, I was allowed entrance to HER HOME…if not, I would be confined to servant’s quarters.
I don’t have to tell you where I ended up.
When her highness rings the back door bell, I must anticipate her wishes. Either her kitty dish is empty or she wants out for an afternoon snack of shrew ears or noses (she does NOT eat cat food).
She sometimes watches from her throne, located on the back of HER human’s (Joann) couch. That’s why no birds or squirrels dare enter HER realm and live to tell about it.
Believe me I could say a lot more but then we’re looking at a novella.
Submitted by: Susan
Thursday, November 29th, 2012
I shall hide in a box until they forget I’m there and then tonight, after bedtime, the fun begins!
What makes Puddy so mean?
Puddy is not allowed to sleep inside at night because he wakes us up by biting our faces. He has permanently scarred the kids’ hands and emotionally scarred visiting children (3 no longer like cats).
The dog is frightened of him. All visitors are warned to be careful of him. All boxes are his home: he uses them as hiding spots to launch his attacks. Oh, and he dribbles! But we love him. Sometimes I wonder why, but we do.
Submitted by: Judy
Wednesday, November 28th, 2012
This is actually how cats SMILE at you…by offering to let you lick their butt. Heh.
What makes Puss so mean?
This submission is done under protest, as, contrary to the insistence of my family, she is not mean.
One: We had known for quite some time that she’d been catching the post as it came through the letterbox, which was why it was always crumpled and shredded. One day, I return home to find large spots of blood on the porch. The next day, when an irate postman knocked on the door, it was revealed that she was not attacking the post, she was attacking his fingers…and not for the first time. We had to put up a sign and a box or the Post Office would cease delivery. Why did he have his finger through our letter box in the first place, anyway?
Two: She attacks indiscriminately. Everything that moves is her fair game. Her favourite place to lurk is the stairs, where she will smack you as you go past or attack you ankles as you climb. She also goes for you if you stroke her too much, not enough, or in the wrong place. She enjoys biting, again, ankles are apparently her favourite, but her claws are sharp. I have not experienced this as much as the others say it happens.
You say “indiscriminately”, I say “master plan”.
Three: She is trying to kill my sister. On one occasion, when the light was off, she darted in front of my sister at the top of the stairs and nearly sent her flying down them, causing a large bruise on my sister’s knee and a rent in her jeans. Puss then bites my sister for falling over her.
Four: She will accept no food or attention from anyone but myself, and not always then.
Five: She is completely crazy. She attacks everything that moves and some things which don’t. Or don’t even exist. She chases her own tail, often when sitting on the back of a chair, causing her to curl around the bar at the top and look like a giant, furry hula hoop. Unfortunately, it has never been caught on camera.
Six: She is two faced. She pretends to run away from other cats, then will turn round and give them a good seeing to. I do not think this is meanness; I think it may be strategy.
Seven: She destroys things and has been blamed (although it was never proven) of breaking the cafetiere twice. She also has an irritating habit of sitting on your lap while you are eating and shoving her ass in your food.
Then, there is the usual; loud miaowing outside your door when you are sleeping; if she is in your room, and you move in your sleep she will attack you. Also, she sleep talks, or rather miaows and purrs when she’s sleeping. Especially if you are trying to sleep. This is loud, by the way… If she is outside overnight, she climbs in through upstairs windows and walks all over you. If a door is closed, it must be opened. She chatters (honestly) at birds, and she lies about whether or not she had been fed.
This is all true, I promise. But I still don’t think she’s mean.
Photo submitted by: Alys
Monday, November 26th, 2012
Name: Purr Kitty
Location: Secret Drawer
Dog-chasing…a noble hobby! I keep my diary of successful hunts in this drawer.
What makes Purr Kitty so mean?
My kitty is mean because she likes to chase, catch, and chew on dogs. Especially little dogs although she has tried to go after bigger dogs. Recently she was seen chasing a kid on a bicycle.
She also likes to steal her human slave’s pillow from her, and if the silly human tries to move her, Ms. Purr meows a warning.
Oh, YOU want to use the pillow? Come on. Try it. Dare ya.
If that does not work she bites her hand. She keeps her teeth nice and sharp by chewing on anything metal.
Submitted by: Kerry
Sunday, November 18th, 2012
Name: Ree Roo
Location: Planet of Inconsistency
I didn’t make the human crazy. She was that way when I got her!
What makes Ree Roo so mean?
This is no ordinary mean kitty. He attacks on two fronts. You have the physical attacks, where he rubs up against your legs, purring. Then, CHOMP! Love bites is what my husband calls them, because he only bites me and our other cat, Orson. He treats me like a human lollipop…if he’s not biting, I am never safe from the sandpaper tongue.
Then comes the psychological attacks He will sit and stare at me until I get the heebies. I wake up in the middle of the night to find him sitting on end table, STARING. I ask him ,”What?!?”. The constant staring drives me mad, and he knows it!
He bangs the blinds, then tries to bury my food. He has even developed a tolerance to water by hanging out in shower so the water bottle is no longer a threat. He is unable to drink out of a bowl; he prefers a people cup, and if its not to his liking, he will knock it over. At bed time, you must rub his belly till he goes to sleep. If you do not, you will know no peace.
Submitted by: Stacey
Saturday, November 17th, 2012
Location: House of Duck
Hey, that tangerine on your plate looks really barfworthy! Think I’ll swipe it.
What makes that Dunkin Donut so mean?
Dunkin is a nasty cat. He’s six years old, growls all the time, and has been nasty since he was tiny. If he does something bad and you yell at him, he will whack you. If he wants to beg for table scraps and you don’t cooperate, he gives you his paw. He can be a con artist but mostly he’s nasty and mean to all. He picks on his own kids. I have the whole family, but the rest are nice. Dunkin got all the mean gene in the family.
RIP, Dunkin. Your mean, mean ways will be missed. Since you’ve been gone, all we’ve had are mean ducks.
Any cats in this house? No? We’re taking over, quacks!
Submitted by: Mary
Saturday, November 17th, 2012
Why are you using your foot to open the case? Do you think it won’t hurt as much when I eat your toe as when I eat your hand?
What makes Reba so mean?
Reba is named after Reba McIntyre, the country singer. I am in a band where I play the bass fiddle and most of the times the band comes to my house to practice. Reba likes to lay in wait for the guitar player. I don’t know why she hates him so much.
Submitted by: Louise
Friday, November 16th, 2012
Location: Eternal Infamy
I liked to post sexy ab shots of myself on my blog to get more comments from the LADEEZ!
What makes Rascal so mean?
I am so cool that I have my own blog (see below)! However, I have a high standard for my humans, and they are required to adhere to it. I find I must constantly remind them as to their duties, which include but are not limited to:
* keeping my food bowl full at all times. If I see crumbs or the bottom of the bowl, then I have the right to demand attention to it.
* feeding me kitty treats. They know when I want them, as I sit up to let them know.
* keeping my water cup full of fresh water. I do not drink out of a bowl. I have my own cup. If it isn’t kept up to standards then I have the right to jump up on the bathroom vanity and drink out or Dad’s cup.
* letting me in and out on demand. I have a kitty door but humans should show proper respect and open the big door for me.
* petting on demand. They usually do this quite well but haven’t learned to read my mind in regards to when I’ve had enough.
* playing with me. I like to play chase the string or stick. I like to play catch with one of my toys. However, I reserve the right to be entertained by watching rather than participating.
If these standards are not kept then I have the right to use loud vocalizations (at 3 am if necessary), claws, and teeth to keep my humans in line.
Photo submitted by: Leigh
Rascal’s Blog (http://welcometorascalsworld.blogspot.com)
RIP, MEAN RASCAL. YOU WILL BE MISSED.
Thursday, November 15th, 2012
Location: Extreme Cat-Sports Headquarters
This seems to be the only way I can get any tuna around here…
What makes Raoul so mean?
My cat tries to sit in my kayak. He also likes to ride in the car and go up and down the driveway. He has a tendency to lunge at people’s faces when he’s in a bad mood, but otherwise his spirit is quite entertaining (and he’s 17 years old!). The neighborhood dogs are afraid of him and his bad 7 pound frame.
Submitted by: Karen
Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Location: East Yorkshire
The stripe actually means I’m horcrux #7 for the evil dark magician Dog-demort. Seeing as he killed my parents, I think I’m entitled to some attitude!
What makes Rampuss so mean?
This little angel is a one off special. We think he has an attitude problem because he is a posh cat but has a big white stripe on his face (not supposed to be there) – he has a bit of a complex about it hence the psycho behaviour.
One moment he is fine and loving and the next he is attacking the other 3 cats in the house. He keeps us awake at night playing with anything that dangles (i.e blind cords, human hands, ripped out intestines) and fighting with the other kitties. He has an obsession with cheese and will do anything to get his paws on it, but is sick whenever he eats it. When you cook dinner he loves to bite your legs and nose in every single cupboard. If you don’t allow this, he sulks.
Despite all this he entertains us immensely with his mood swings and funny adventures – he once chased his sister into the bathroom and jumped into a bath full of water – he had the ump for days!!
Submitted by: Jamie & Debbie