Archive for July, 2012
Tuesday, July 31st, 2012
Oh, dear. I knocked my toupee askew when I was inciting my housemates.
What makes Dario so mean?
I am only sending this to you because my father has threatened me that if I don’t, he will, AND he will make up horrid stories about them.
Here is Dario. He is usually not too mean, but he does have a tendency to attack his housemates. And, while I am thinking of it, he likes to shred the newspaper while I am reading it. Come to think of it, last night around 3:30 AM, I awoke to Dario knocking a vintage Muppets glass off the kitchen counter. It broke into MANY tiny pieces which I joyfully cleaned up in my half asleep state. Since the other kitties were awake too, Dario decided to get them begging for breakfast, and for an hour I tried to get back to sleep with 3 kitties running across me and screaming quite loudly — all thanks to Dario.
Submitted by: Nicole
Monday, July 30th, 2012
Location: Bethesda, MD
Either give me the tuna or the hardwood floor gets another waterstain, human!
What makes Helix so mean?
This is a photo of my cat, Helix, who’s generally friendly, affectionate and well behaved. Unfortunately, he has one bad habit: When he’s frustrated about something, he knocks over his “pet bistro,” which is the water cooler on the left side of the photo. This usually occurs when the food bowl is empty or the bistro is low on water. Worse yet, he pulls this stunt when my wife and I are out of the house. Our hardwood floors will never be the same.
Photo submitted by: Dave
Sunday, July 29th, 2012
Location: New York
If pooping on the rug is wrong, wrong, wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
What makes Heinz so mean?
Sure, he looks docile, peaceful and adorable. Just looking at him, you’d think he’s a little furry angel.
But I have three words for you: wrong, wrong, wrong.
I’ve nicknamed Heinz “the lurker.” His viciousness toward our other cat Jessica knows no bounds. The second Jessica finishes eating or using the litter box, Heinz leaps from out of nowhere onto her back. When she wants to go downstairs to eat, he likes to block the stairs. When she wants to go upstairs to use the litter box, he blocks the stairs again!
Heinz also hisses at me whenever I try to deodorize the rug after he (out of spite) or Jessica (because Heinz keeps her from getting to the litter box) leaves a “surprise.”
Submitted by: Steven
Saturday, July 28th, 2012
It’s not my attitude that’s the problem…it’s yours! Why do you always look like you want to be touchin’ my stuff?
What makes Heidi so mean?
This is Heidi. Our mean kitty. She has the worst attitude problem. She was my mother-in-law’s cat and when my MIL passed away, we took Heidi to live with us and our other 3 cats who are little loves.
Are you thinking about touching me? You’d better not be thinking about touching me. I’ll hiss that thought right out of your puny, human brain!
Even though Heidi is the youngest cat in the house, she acts like the most mean and crotchety old woman. She likes to hiss as you walk by to make sure you don’t even THINK about touching her. Or she will slap you as you are sitting or walking by her. Her favorite target is feet.
i’m only half-annoyed with you right now. That’s why my mouth is only half open.
She is not any better with her step sisters who just look at her and walk away as if to say “Yeah right, like you scare me”.
Submitted by: Mary-Teresa Schmidt
Friday, July 27th, 2012
Hazel, AKA Miz Thang, which explains my bad attitude right there. I’ve got a split personality. A bad one and another bad one!
What makes Hazel so mean?
She may be small but she is mighty! She rules the house and terrorizes the other cats that live here. She isn’t even six months old and loves to attack bare feet. Another favorite stunt is the death from above: while you sleep on the sofa, she will sit on the top edge and then run the full length and jump right on your face. She becomes fearful that she will fall so she hangs on to whatever body part she can reach with those sharp little needle claws of hers.
Submitted by: Deanne
Thursday, July 26th, 2012
Location: Toronto, ON
Just checking out the new posts on the “Former Strays Anonymous” message board.
What makes Hutch so mean?
Hutch looks cute, but he’s bad news. He lived on the street for a while. He is mean. Not tough mean – crazy mean. You have to have a little psycho in your back pocket to survive as a street cat.
I wish she’d fast forward through the commercials. What the hell else did we get this TiVo for?
He likes me – most of the time. He hates my dad. My dad only has to come into the same room as him and he growls and hisses with his ears back. If my dad goes near him, Hutch’ll cut him.
Hutch had to live with his cousin, my brother’s cat William, for a year and a bit. Poor William got beaten up every night. Scratches all over his face. He runs now when he sees Hutch coming.
Ok, seriously. Quit sneaking up on me, Starsky. I never liked you anyway.
Hutch sometimes escapes outside (I keep him inside, off the street, to keep the crazy repressed). When he gets out he goes completely insane. He hisses at anyone who comes near him, even me. If you try to catch him he starts howling, and if you don’t back off he’ll charge you and shred your arms and legs up.
When I was living on the mean streets of Toronto, I had to keep warm by slaughtering elk and living inside their pelts. Sometimes I miss those crazy, carefree days.
When he’s sane he’s just plain old mean. He’ll play catch-the-feet through the covers all night, gnawing on my toe and digging into my heel with his back legs. He pees on our couch every day. He comes and flops on my laptop when I am working late. When I change the sheets on the bed, he is right there underneath, attacking the sheets. I can’t move him or he’ll growl and hiss in warning.
He’s a mean little buzzard. He’s got serious issues. Being out on the street’ll do that to you.
Submitted by: Katie
Wednesday, July 25th, 2012
Location: Waltham, MA
How lovely! I can just make out the beautiful symphony of breaking glass and shattered dreams.
What makes Hope so mean?
Hope is a slightly reformed mean kitty who sometimes lets the meanness seep back through. When I first got her as a kitten, Hope immediately attempted to break everything of value to me. One of her favorite hobbies at the time was to climb on top of 6′ bookcase and bat anything breakable across the room. The sound of anything breaking was music to her ears. She delighted in knocking plants from the windowsill of our 3rd floor apartment and yowled quite loudly at the resulting crashes.
Later, when we moved into a house with roommates, Hope became quite adept at “roommate stalking,” quickly elevating it to the level of Olympic sport. She would hide around corners, just waiting for a roommate to walk past, then leap with a deafening yowl onto their legs and attempt to climb. At other times, she would pretend to be sweet and innocent, weaving between their legs, then tripping them expertly. Still, her favorite sport was ambush. We had a breakfast bar in the middle of the kitchen, covered with a table cloth, under which were two stools. Hope would climb on top of the stools, completely hidden by the tablecloth, and then leap out screeching as a roommate walked past. More than once I came running to the kitchen to find out why my roommates were screaming and traumatized.
Hope has since calmed down, she gets along quite well with my new roommates, and my former roommates are finally out of therapy. Still, Hope’s mean kitty days will forever be memorialized by the bowl bought for her by a well-meaning friend, inscribed on the side with the words “Psycho Kitty.”
Submitted by: Zarrin Reynolds
Tuesday, July 24th, 2012
Yeah, you’d better hide under the blankie, fuzzball.
What makes Hooligan so mean?
Even my vet says he’s appropriately named. He’s completely unfriendly, unaffectionate and 98% mean. And he’s only 7 months old! I got him at 3 months from a local shelter.
Oh no! The cat got out of the bag!
He likes to attack everything, especially my feet, hair, bags, blankets, carpets, stuffed animals, and the Venetian blinds in my bedroom when I’m sleeping.
I don’t know what this white thing is, but I HATES IT, I do!
Submitted by: Stefanie
Monday, July 23rd, 2012
Location: Unknown, but maybe Florida
What a bunch of scurrilous lies! Just look at this face. There’s no lynx involved in my DNA.
What makes Jax so mean?
Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing! This kitten I brought down from South Carolina with me when I moved back to FL, but I had my 6 cats and 2 dogs already so I gave him to a friend.
Lucky thing I did! This adorable little thing, named Jax, went from a purring, silky ball of fluff to the king of unholy terrors. I spent a lot of time at my friend’s house, and he began asking me questions about cats each time I went over there in regards to behavior. I couldn’t figure out why until I went to clip the cat’s nails for him. To make a gory story short, I had to get 26 stitches in my arms from this “kitten”, and I work in a vet’s office so I know how to deal with animals. I ended up wrapping him in a blanket and taking him to the office with me to have help. No one could believe this guy would turn so vicious!
He shreds everything he can, bites anyone who tries to touch him and attacks anyone who comes within 2 feet of him. He sits on top of a bookshelf most of his days and takes pleasure on pouncing on the heads of unsuspecting people. It wasn’t so bad when he weighed 2 lbs, but he’s now 14 lbs of solid muscle. I swear his dad had to be a Lynx or something.
Submitted by: Anon
Sunday, July 22nd, 2012
Name: Johnny Lopez
Does this fur make me look fat? I mean, mad?
What makes Johnny so mean?
Johnny was a troubled cat. Probably the most troubled cat I’ve ever had. He doesn’t like to be carried at all. You will see this cat from far away and think he’s a pretty white Turkish Angora kitty, but you won’t know half of the truth. He only loves 2 people and those 2 people are my mom and my dad. He’s their cat. I had a cat who Johnny was totally jealous of and so he hated me in return.
Johnny growls really loud when he wants to go outside because he will not use a litter box. That’s for domestic cats and he is far from that. He’s an outdoor cat who kills squirrels, moles, mice, rats, snakes, birds and scares dogs away.
Before he got declawed, he used to rip up the furniture and carpet. He was very destructive. He’s calmed down a bit since he’s fifteen years old now. His way of showing his love and affection, ha ha, is by biting you or grabbing hold of your ankle and biting you.
I love that cat even though he hates me. He’s nothing but attitude. I think he puts on his attitude when he rubs the fur on his nose and it makes him look mad. Oh well, he’s a mean kitty!
Submitted by: Sam