Name: Milbert Diesel
Location: Eastern Washington State
Dude, I'm just saving for a rainy day, and you act like I'm a thief!
What makes Milbert so mean?
Milbert Diesel, aka ‘Milly’ or ‘CAT!!!’ (when she’s chewing on the edge of my book), gave me no choice in bringing her home. She simply informed me that I was to be her lifelong slave. I acquiesced willingly, because at the time, she was a cute kitten and I had no idea what manner of demon lurked behind that funny stripe down her nose and behind those amber eyes.
But I found out. She has a pet rock. It’s about the shape and color of a biscuit. She carries it around with her, often to the sink in the master bedroom, and rattles it around at 2 and 3 in the morning. The rest of the time, she keeps it hidden in the left toe of my favorite loafers. She’s figured out how to get into the closet.
She also steals pens from my desk. Every single time she gets a chance, she steals pens. She doesn’t play with them, she just hides them under the area rug in the master bedroom. Closing the doors to the master bedroom does no good because she’s figured out how to open them, in her diabolical cleverness. When I run low on pens in my office, I gather them under the rug in the bedroom. This is an ongoing process.
Milbert has a habit of dunking things in her water dish. Her teddy bear, her pet rock, coins she carries around and plays with and eventually also buries under the area rug. My husband and I don’t bother to keep a change dish anywhere anymore because Milbert loots it, runs the coins through her water dish, and stuffs them under that silly rug. We just go look under the rug if we need change for something. We can count on finding at least a dollar in change at any given time. Milbert is a busy cat.
And Milbert is very much a girl-kitty, despite the name. She’s a tortoiseshell. So since we live in the Pacific Northwest, we named her for Milbert’s Tortoiseshell, a butterfly native to this region. The ‘Diesel’ part got stuck on because she’s got a rumbly purr, though I’m the only person who ever hears it–she’s not tolerant of anyone except me.
Submitted by: Lara