Meankitty.com

Name: Bhutros
Location: Burbank, CA

Just finished off the boots, and my dessert is this tie. Better watch the catbox tomorrow, human. Roughage!

What makes Bhutros so mean?

What makes Bhutros such a mean kitty? How much time do you have? Could it be the fact that he gets a wild hair up his butt and starts randomly destroying things like clothes, houseplants, and his sister and mom. How about the fact that he tears through the house at 2 a.m. like clockwork, waking up everyone in the apartment complex? He figures that if he can’t get a good night’s sleep, then he’s going to be sure that no one else does, either.

The streak on his nose is what we call his “mean streak” and it is growing bigger every day. For no good reason, he will go up and slap his sister. If he can’t get a rise out of her, he slaps his mother. If all else fails, he slaps me and my boyfriend. He is truly “Slap Happy” but after doing that, he will take off for parts unknown until feeding time comes around once again.

Please put word on the street about Bhutros because he is an unholy terror.

Submitted by: Melissa

Name: Bertie
Location: Unknown

What fun are nicekitties anyway? Always purring and being sickeningly sweet and brownnosing humans and dogs alike. Fong that, man.

What makes Bertie so mean?

This is Bertie. We got her from the pound because we thought she was a nicekitty. The moment she got home, she began drawing blood. But our family (a.k.a. her victims) loves her anyway. Here she is doing the world a great service by ridding it of killer sandals.

Submitted by: Adreanne

Name: Berlin
Location: Unknown

The sleeping Jesse day... What a pleasant memory! Thanks for reminding me.

What makes Berlin so mean?

This is my mean kitty Berlin. If you cross him, he doesn’t forget about it. My fiance’s cousins, Jesse & Cody, played tug of war with him once when he was a kitten. He’s 12 now and he still hisses and growls at them. He sat on Jesse’s face while he was sleeping and Jesse had to go to the hospital (he’s allergic to cats). His face was swollen up like an over-ripe watermelon. Berlin has actually tried to kill guests he doesn’t like who come into his home by grabbing their legs and shoving them down the stairs. Mean Kitty!

Submitted by: Catherine

Name: Milbert Diesel
Location: Eastern Washington State

Dude, I'm just saving for a rainy day, and you act like I'm a thief!

What makes Milbert so mean?

Milbert Diesel, aka ‘Milly’ or ‘CAT!!!’ (when she’s chewing on the edge of my book), gave me no choice in bringing her home. She simply informed me that I was to be her lifelong slave. I acquiesced willingly, because at the time, she was a cute kitten and I had no idea what manner of demon lurked behind that funny stripe down her nose and behind those amber eyes.

But I found out. She has a pet rock. It’s about the shape and color of a biscuit. She carries it around with her, often to the sink in the master bedroom, and rattles it around at 2 and 3 in the morning. The rest of the time, she keeps it hidden in the left toe of my favorite loafers. She’s figured out how to get into the closet.

She also steals pens from my desk. Every single time she gets a chance, she steals pens. She doesn’t play with them, she just hides them under the area rug in the master bedroom. Closing the doors to the master bedroom does no good because she’s figured out how to open them, in her diabolical cleverness. When I run low on pens in my office, I gather them under the rug in the bedroom. This is an ongoing process.

Milbert has a habit of dunking things in her water dish. Her teddy bear, her pet rock, coins she carries around and plays with and eventually also buries under the area rug. My husband and I don’t bother to keep a change dish anywhere anymore because Milbert loots it, runs the coins through her water dish, and stuffs them under that silly rug. We just go look under the rug if we need change for something. We can count on finding at least a dollar in change at any given time. Milbert is a busy cat.

And Milbert is very much a girl-kitty, despite the name. She’s a tortoiseshell. So since we live in the Pacific Northwest, we named her for Milbert’s Tortoiseshell, a butterfly native to this region. The ‘Diesel’ part got stuck on because she’s got a rumbly purr, though I’m the only person who ever hears it–she’s not tolerant of anyone except me.

Submitted by: Lara

Name: Sassi
Location: Kansas City

Oh! (singing) Wrappa my house in a buncha toilet paper, wrappa my house in a buncha toilet paper...

What makes Sassi so mean?

We got Sassi when she was very small. She almost died because she was very sick. Her eye never grew right after she got sick so her eye tears all the time.

She gets her name Sassi because it fits her VERY well! She will attack you one second and want you to pet her the next. She’s not quite sure what to do with petting. She purrs and loves it for about two seconds and then she attacks your hand or whatever is in attacking distance.

Another thing she does is run thru the house and STEAL anything she can steal…some days it’s q-tips out of the trash can, or my daughters hair clips, or the toilet paper roll, which she unrolls. It depends on what kind of mood she is in. If you stop her thieving, she will attack you.

Oh, wrappa my house...YO! This is me, breakin down the mix. The Meow Mix, baybee.

Lastly, she runs thru the house constantly picking on my other two sweet kitties. She doesn’t like company especially if it’s another animal. She will taunt them and make them totally submissive to her. She basically rules in this household and no-one here is going to argue with her on that!

Submitted by: Tracy

Name: Claude
Location: Nobody’s Arms

DOG BREATH! DOOOOOOOG BREAAAAAAAATH!

What makes Claude so mean?

This is Claude. He used to be quite friendly, always running up to strangers begging to be smothered with love. One day, the supposedly friendly strangers turned on Claude. Claude had his entire face crammed in to a man’s mouth to prove the point that the man had a large mouth. Claude, needless to say, was not amused. From that moment on, Claude decided he would never be comfortable in the arms of his family ever again. Long after that scarring incident, I tried to hold my beloved cat and kiss his nose. Alas, I had failed to notice the demonic soul trying to escape through his pupils as he writhed in disgust from my very touch. This photo has shown me to never, under any circumstances, anger Claude for the rest of his days.

Submitted by: Alexis

Name: Mai
Location: A Dorm

I'm not real, I'm just photographed that way.

What makes Mai so mean?

We aren’t allowed to have non-aquarium pets in the dorms at my college, so I got “Mai”. She’s an evil kitty. She often positions herself in my room to glare at everyone who looks in. She was sitting on a chair in the lounge the other day and terrorized another student, who went to tell our resident assistant there was a “cat” in the dorms. Joke was on her [[APRIL FOOL!!!]]–Mai is a toy cat! She just looks real. Now that student refuses to touch my cat and says she gives her nightmares.

Submitted by: Courtney