Gallery: Mr. Breeze

Name: Mr. Breeze
Location: Unknown

Mr. Breeze is a meankitty

When the man comes home, I'll pretend the lady killed the bird. He's that gullible! Then they'll both be upset and I'll reap the benefits, as usual.

What makes Mr. Breeze so mean?

My name is Mr. Breeze. I am so mean that when my first family didn’t give me the snacks I asked for, I just blew on down the road. They’re probably still crying. Too bad.

Now I live in a new house. I skulked around for a week making manipulative crying noises until the humans felt sorry for me and let me come in. Vampires can’t just walk in, we have to be invited. MUAAAAHAHAHAHA!

So now I have two slaves. I often pretend that the lady didn’t feed me. That way the man feeds me again, AND he gets upset with the lady. I like it when the man gets upset. I like to sit on his face while he’s asleep too. I sometimes think about stealing the lady’s breath while she’s asleep, except then I’d only get one meal a night. It’s worse than Sophie’s Choice.

The only problem with the house is that it already had two cats. The stripey cat was showing me how to hunt while I was still outside messing with the humans’ heads. As if I want to catch my own food, right? That’s what slaves are for! As soon as I got in the house, though, I chased old stripey into the basement and made her stay behind the heater for a week until she promised to let me eat first at mealtimes. The black cat – well, she is CRAZY. I give her a wide berth at all times. I think she appreciates the respect.

I’ve gotten more into the hunting thing now that I found out how much fun it is. But eating wild things is gross. Food comes out of cans, not out of the garden. I am so mean that when I play with mice I growl at them. Grrrrrrr Grrrrrrr! I’ve attached a picture of me savaging a bird. Hopefully it was an endangered species.

Submitted by: Leslie

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One Response to “Gallery: Mr. Breeze”

  1. Marilia says:

    Great hunter!