Name: Mr. Breeze
What makes Mr. Breeze so mean?
My name is Mr. Breeze. I am so mean that when my first family didn’t give me the snacks I asked for, I just blew on down the road. They’re probably still crying. Too bad.
Now I live in a new house. I skulked around for a week making manipulative crying noises until the humans felt sorry for me and let me come in. Vampires can’t just walk in, we have to be invited. MUAAAAHAHAHAHA!
So now I have two slaves. I often pretend that the lady didn’t feed me. That way the man feeds me again, AND he gets upset with the lady. I like it when the man gets upset. I like to sit on his face while he’s asleep too. I sometimes think about stealing the lady’s breath while she’s asleep, except then I’d only get one meal a night. It’s worse than Sophie’s Choice.
The only problem with the house is that it already had two cats. The stripey cat was showing me how to hunt while I was still outside messing with the humans’ heads. As if I want to catch my own food, right? That’s what slaves are for! As soon as I got in the house, though, I chased old stripey into the basement and made her stay behind the heater for a week until she promised to let me eat first at mealtimes. The black cat – well, she is CRAZY. I give her a wide berth at all times. I think she appreciates the respect.
I’ve gotten more into the hunting thing now that I found out how much fun it is. But eating wild things is gross. Food comes out of cans, not out of the garden. I am so mean that when I play with mice I growl at them. Grrrrrrr Grrrrrrr! I’ve attached a picture of me savaging a bird. Hopefully it was an endangered species.
Submitted by: Leslie