Meankitty.com

Name: Fleur (2)
Location: Unknown

Check it out -- I can hide behind my tail and then jump out and bite you! Who cares about "Softpaws"!

What makes Fleur so mean?

This is Fleur. Yes, she’s little, and delicate, and pretty like a flower, but she’s meaner than hell. Has been since the day I brought the little thug home. She hates everyone in the house but my five year old daughter, who, ironically, bears the nickname El Diablo. She routinely beats the snot out of my sweet kitty DangerDebbie, who outweighs Fleur by about ten pounds, and harasses my geriatric kitties, Tiki and Nina, whenever they are between naps. Happily for those two, the between nap moments are few and far between in their golden years.

On a more pleasant note, since we discovered an invention called SoftPaws, Fleur’s evil quotient has been greatly reduced. Everyone in this household breathes easier now. And the scars on my hand are slowly healing.

Submitted by: Chris

Name: Fleur
Location: Missouri

I'm going to run around and around the stupid human's legs with lightning speed until I trip him, just like on tv. Get the video camera!

What makes Fleur so mean?

Fleur is an Angora, apparently. She was found in a post-office parking lot, propositioning everyone in sight. When my wife brought her home, Fleur had a white stripe from the nape of the neck to the base of the tail; hence the name. Even though she’s the youngest of our pride, she has more cattitude than the total of the rest and has our Keeshond totally cowed.

She’s totally sweet to 2-leggers, Hell-on-4-paws to the rest. Feels that she should be a “one & only”. The bell showing in the picture of her is on a Harley-Davidson collar, and there is a yellow chain is attached to her harness. For outside use only, not pegged down to anything; just an extra 13′ so I can reel her in off the neighbors’ roof, or out of a tree.

Submitted by: Kenneth

Name: Finnigan
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

I'm a thorough kitty cat. I leave no catnip mouse unturned and no hand unscratched.

What makes Finnigan so mean?

[[Today's post is a combo Gallery / Advice]]

Why does Finnigan bite so much?

My kitten Finnigan attacks any hand that he can get his paws on. He is 3 months old, though I’ve only had him for 2 months. When I first got him, I thought he was biting because he was teething, but he continues to bite and scratch. I know he’s only playing, but it still really hurts. Nobody can pet him without him attacking. My hands are unrecognizable and scarred. I’m afraid he is going to grow up to be a meankitty.

Submitted by: Shelby

***

Dear Shelby,

If Finnigan grows up to be a meankitty, it means you’ve done something right! Also, I hear tell humans find scars “interesting” so don’t worry about the hands.

Sincerely,
MK

Name: Vincent
Location: Unknown

No, no, not the light, not the light! IT BURNS!

What makes Vincent so mean?

Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.

Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.

Photo submitted by: Darryl

Name: Waldo
Location: His Department

Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!

What makes Waldo so mean?

Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.

Photo submitted by: Elizabeth

Dear Meankitty,

Jojo is mean to Hoho and eats all of his food. I am worried that Hoho isn’t getting the proper nutrition. Should I shut Jojo in a room whenever I feed Hoho?

Signed,
Eat No Fat and Eat No Lean

***

Dear Eats,

Yes.

Signed,
Meankitty

Dear Meankitty,

Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try this on the upcoming baby! What do I do?

Signed,
Gelibeanr

***

Dear Gelibeanr,

It’s because you’re a sitting duck and duck tastes gooooood. Mmmm, duck.

Sincerely,
MK

PS: No advice on how to integrate cats & babies until the twain actually meet. Big D and I are exceptionally well-mannered with the small slaves. The food/door opening slave is usually subject to much more “loving attention” than a baby.

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Owner

***

Dear FO,

Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

Name: Bender
Location: Unknown

Oh, NICE! Foot for lunch!

What makes Bender so mean?

Bender is my cat’s name. I have had been owned by him less then a year. Got him from the pound when my dear cat AJ died.

After a hearty lunch of foot, I like a cool drink to top off.

Bender may look sweet to you, but believe me, he can be mean. In fact, he IS mean.

The pictures speak for themselves, I guess.

Submitted by: Charlene

Name: Bellatrix
Location: Florida

No, no, no, that sammitch is MINE, I tell you! MINE!

What makes Bellatrix so mean?

I’d like to introduce you to my new Persian kitten, Bellatrix. We call her Bella for short.

Bella’s life consists of bossing my older cat, Nigel, around. From the first day we got her, Bella realized that Nigel’s already skittish nature would allow her to dominate the house. Every time Nigel settles into one of his regular perches, Bella pounces on him and chases him out of his spot. And she doesn’t take the perch for herself–she just doesn’t want him there. She also rushes at Nigel like a lineman for no apparent reason; when he gets upset, she goes and rubs against him to make nice.

Bella takes liberties on anybody and everybody’s food. If someone’s eating a sandwich and puts it on the coffee table, Bella attempts to take the whole sandwich in her mouth and drag it to the couch. This has happened multiple times. She does this with any type of food in her reach, whether you’re sitting right in front of it or not.

This is me "not" scratching the furniture. Heh.

I can say one good thing for Bella–she doesn’t scratch the furniture (often). However, she likes using people’s arms, especially if they’re hairy, as her personal scratching post. She squeezes herself under the coffee table when she doesn’t want to be caught and scratches your hand if you place it under there.

Submitted by: GSW