Archive for January, 2012
Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
Name: Fleur (2)
Check it out -- I can hide behind my tail and then jump out and bite you! Who cares about "Softpaws"!
What makes Fleur so mean?
This is Fleur. Yes, she’s little, and delicate, and pretty like a flower, but she’s meaner than hell. Has been since the day I brought the little thug home. She hates everyone in the house but my five year old daughter, who, ironically, bears the nickname El Diablo. She routinely beats the snot out of my sweet kitty DangerDebbie, who outweighs Fleur by about ten pounds, and harasses my geriatric kitties, Tiki and Nina, whenever they are between naps. Happily for those two, the between nap moments are few and far between in their golden years.
On a more pleasant note, since we discovered an invention called SoftPaws, Fleur’s evil quotient has been greatly reduced. Everyone in this household breathes easier now. And the scars on my hand are slowly healing.
Submitted by: Chris
Monday, January 30th, 2012
I'm going to run around and around the stupid human's legs with lightning speed until I trip him, just like on tv. Get the video camera!
What makes Fleur so mean?
Fleur is an Angora, apparently. She was found in a post-office parking lot, propositioning everyone in sight. When my wife brought her home, Fleur had a white stripe from the nape of the neck to the base of the tail; hence the name. Even though she’s the youngest of our pride, she has more cattitude than the total of the rest and has our Keeshond totally cowed.
She’s totally sweet to 2-leggers, Hell-on-4-paws to the rest. Feels that she should be a “one & only”. The bell showing in the picture of her is on a Harley-Davidson collar, and there is a yellow chain is attached to her harness. For outside use only, not pegged down to anything; just an extra 13′ so I can reel her in off the neighbors’ roof, or out of a tree.
Submitted by: Kenneth
Sunday, January 29th, 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
I'm a thorough kitty cat. I leave no catnip mouse unturned and no hand unscratched.
What makes Finnigan so mean?
[[Today's post is a combo Gallery / Advice]]
Why does Finnigan bite so much?
My kitten Finnigan attacks any hand that he can get his paws on. He is 3 months old, though I’ve only had him for 2 months. When I first got him, I thought he was biting because he was teething, but he continues to bite and scratch. I know he’s only playing, but it still really hurts. Nobody can pet him without him attacking. My hands are unrecognizable and scarred. I’m afraid he is going to grow up to be a meankitty.
Submitted by: Shelby
If Finnigan grows up to be a meankitty, it means you’ve done something right! Also, I hear tell humans find scars “interesting” so don’t worry about the hands.
Saturday, January 28th, 2012
No, no, not the light, not the light! IT BURNS!
What makes Vincent so mean?
Vincent got his head crushed in the garage door and I guess it drove him insane with rage. He only takes a good picture sleeping. If you wake him up he’ll follow you around and slap you, staring you down until you finally hide from him. One time I was awoken late at night by a commotion of meows and hissing in my garage. Apparently a neighborhood cat had wandered in through our ground vent and Vincent had cornered him. The owner wasn’t happy but the kitty Vincent nearly murdered is thankful to still be alive but I guess he won’t go outside anymore and walks with a limp.
Vincent needs his own personal litterbox and gets absolutely furious if anyone goes near it when he’s in the same room. His front claws are removed and if he ever feels like clawing though he hugs you and uses the back claws, sort of mule kicking. Mostly though he bites really hard. I had to get a couple stitches in my finger after an incident. We don’t own Vincent, he owns us.
Photo submitted by: Darryl
Friday, January 27th, 2012
Location: His Department
Whaddya mean, where's Waldo? I'm right here, ya ijjit!
What makes Waldo so mean?
Waldo is a mean kitty because he knocks stuff down, wakes me up too early, chews his sister’s whiskers, howls all the time, and just wrecks everything.
Photo submitted by: Elizabeth
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
Jojo is mean to Hoho and eats all of his food. I am worried that Hoho isn’t getting the proper nutrition. Should I shut Jojo in a room whenever I feed Hoho?
Eat No Fat and Eat No Lean
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
Is there a reason why my cat chooses to attack my arm or face while I am sleeping? I won’t be moving and all of a sudden she jumps on the bed and attacks my arm and face and I wind up with bad punctures on my arms, thankfully not on my face. Then she just runs under the bed. Other than this, she’s a good cat…but it seems to happen once every few days and I’m scared she will try this on the upcoming baby! What do I do?
It’s because you’re a sitting duck and duck tastes gooooood. Mmmm, duck.
PS: No advice on how to integrate cats & babies until the twain actually meet. Big D and I are exceptionally well-mannered with the small slaves. The food/door opening slave is usually subject to much more “loving attention” than a baby.
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?
Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.
Monday, January 16th, 2012
Name: Bella (2)
I just removed a bunch of lunchmeat from this bag and sealed it in Tupperware, for later.
What makes Bella so mean?
Bella is a black cat to a tee. She’s wicked smart and mischievous, always leading the other cats in her plans. Last week we caught them all in the baby’s room…with some lunch meat, taken out of the deli wrap.
This is my artsy pose. It's called "Cat Dreaming of Lunchmeat".
She’s queen of the house. Bella likes to let you know when something is amiss in her world by wreaking havoc. With a casual flick of her tail, she breaks ornaments, spills glasses/jugs, climbs and snaps potted plants, and destroys anything and everything wrapped in paper or plastic. All while looking you in the eye.
Bella is an affectionate cat…as long as you let her initiate everything. She will purr, headbutt you, lie across your shoulder, lick your face (ew) but the second you try pet her, she’ll dig in her claws and bite your hand. Then start loving you again. She’s a twit.
Submitted by: Jake
Sunday, January 15th, 2012
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK
Now you see me...now you don't. Oh, wait, you probably do see me, but your eyes are blurred by tears of pain.
What makes Alfie so mean?
Alfie the Bengal came into our lives 2 years ago as an 8 month old because his previous human could not cope with his behavioural problems. Thinking she was exaggerating (although the fact that she gave her pedigreed kitten away complete with food, cat bed and toys should have been a clue) we took him back to our home.
It has never been the same since. He has destroyed calendars, ornaments, books, maps, plants, and a cooker guarantee. He likes to pull the wicks out of candles. He often attempts to break in to the fridge and the microwave, sometimes by pulling the kick boards out from under the kitchen units, other times by just clawing the appliances. I have had to buy 7 (count ‘em) new white bath mats because he seems to prefer to use these than a litter tray. Even though he goes outside too.
If we do not give him attention when he demands it, he mooches around until he finds something to do which he knows is naughty. Clawing the furniture, biting a plant and crawling up the chimney are all part of his repertoire.
Did you get me a new white fuzzy litter box at the store today? Hm? Why you insist on calling it a "bath mat" I have no idea.
He is a fighter – if there is any cat fight in the street, it is a certainty that he is involved. He hones his skills with regular surprise attacks on his human. On top of these utterly charming behaviours, he also has flatulence. But Alfie “Mini the Mooch Pepe the Poo” (to give him his full name) WE LOVE YOU!!
Photo submitted by: Chris and Jo