Archive for January, 2012

Gallery: Fleur (2)

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Name: Fleur (2)
Location: Unknown

Fleur is a meankitty

Check it out -- I can hide behind my tail and then jump out and bite you! Who cares about "Softpaws"!

What makes Fleur so mean?

This is Fleur. Yes, she’s little, and delicate, and pretty like a flower, but she’s meaner than hell. Has been since the day I brought the little thug home. She hates everyone in the house but my five year old daughter, who, ironically, bears the nickname El Diablo. She routinely beats the snot out of my sweet kitty DangerDebbie, who outweighs Fleur by about ten pounds, and harasses my geriatric kitties, Tiki and Nina, whenever they are between naps. Happily for those two, the between nap moments are few and far between in their golden years.

On a more pleasant note, since we discovered an invention called SoftPaws, Fleur’s evil quotient has been greatly reduced. Everyone in this household breathes easier now. And the scars on my hand are slowly healing.

Submitted by: Chris

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Gallery: Fleur

Monday, January 30th, 2012

Name: Fleur
Location: Missouri

Fleur is a meankitty

I'm going to run around and around the stupid human's legs with lightning speed until I trip him, just like on tv. Get the video camera!

What makes Fleur so mean?

Fleur is an Angora, apparently. She was found in a post-office parking lot, propositioning everyone in sight. When my wife brought her home, Fleur had a white stripe from the nape of the neck to the base of the tail; hence the name. Even though she’s the youngest of our pride, she has more cattitude than the total of the rest and has our Keeshond totally cowed.

She’s totally sweet to 2-leggers, Hell-on-4-paws to the rest. Feels that she should be a “one & only”. The bell showing in the picture of her is on a Harley-Davidson collar, and there is a yellow chain is attached to her harness. For outside use only, not pegged down to anything; just an extra 13′ so I can reel her in off the neighbors’ roof, or out of a tree.

Submitted by: Kenneth

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Gallery: Finnigan

Sunday, January 29th, 2012

Name: Finnigan
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Finnigan is a meankitty

I'm a thorough kitty cat. I leave no catnip mouse unturned and no hand unscratched.

What makes Finnigan so mean?

[[Today's post is a combo Gallery / Advice]]

Why does Finnigan bite so much?

My kitten Finnigan attacks any hand that he can get his paws on. He is 3 months old, though I’ve only had him for 2 months. When I first got him, I thought he was biting because he was teething, but he continues to bite and scratch. I know he’s only playing, but it still really hurts. Nobody can pet him without him attacking. My hands are unrecognizable and scarred. I’m afraid he is going to grow up to be a meankitty.

Submitted by: Shelby

***

Dear Shelby,

If Finnigan grows up to be a meankitty, it means you’ve done something right! Also, I hear tell humans find scars “interesting” so don’t worry about the hands.

Sincerely,
MK

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Advice: Hoggy Cat

Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Dear Meankitty,

Jojo is mean to Hoho and eats all of his food. I am worried that Hoho isn’t getting the proper nutrition. Should I shut Jojo in a room whenever I feed Hoho?

Signed,
Eat No Fat and Eat No Lean

***

Dear Eats,

Yes.

Signed,
Meankitty

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Advice: Uncovered Poo

Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Owner

***

Dear FO,

Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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Gallery: Bella (2)

Monday, January 16th, 2012

Name: Bella (2)
Location: Unknown

Bella is a meankitty

I just removed a bunch of lunchmeat from this bag and sealed it in Tupperware, for later.

What makes Bella so mean?

Bella is a black cat to a tee. She’s wicked smart and mischievous, always leading the other cats in her plans. Last week we caught them all in the baby’s room…with some lunch meat, taken out of the deli wrap.

Bella is a meankitty

This is my artsy pose. It's called "Cat Dreaming of Lunchmeat".

She’s queen of the house. Bella likes to let you know when something is amiss in her world by wreaking havoc. With a casual flick of her tail, she breaks ornaments, spills glasses/jugs, climbs and snaps potted plants, and destroys anything and everything wrapped in paper or plastic. All while looking you in the eye.

Bella is an affectionate cat…as long as you let her initiate everything. She will purr, headbutt you, lie across your shoulder, lick your face (ew) but the second you try pet her, she’ll dig in her claws and bite your hand. Then start loving you again. She’s a twit.

Submitted by: Jake

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Gallery: Alfie (2)

Sunday, January 15th, 2012

Name: Alfie
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Alfie

Now you see me...now you don't. Oh, wait, you probably do see me, but your eyes are blurred by tears of pain.

What makes Alfie so mean?

Alfie the Bengal came into our lives 2 years ago as an 8 month old because his previous human could not cope with his behavioural problems. Thinking she was exaggerating (although the fact that she gave her pedigreed kitten away complete with food, cat bed and toys should have been a clue) we took him back to our home.

It has never been the same since. He has destroyed calendars, ornaments, books, maps, plants, and a cooker guarantee. He likes to pull the wicks out of candles. He often attempts to break in to the fridge and the microwave, sometimes by pulling the kick boards out from under the kitchen units, other times by just clawing the appliances. I have had to buy 7 (count ‘em) new white bath mats because he seems to prefer to use these than a litter tray. Even though he goes outside too.

If we do not give him attention when he demands it, he mooches around until he finds something to do which he knows is naughty. Clawing the furniture, biting a plant and crawling up the chimney are all part of his repertoire.

Alfie

Did you get me a new white fuzzy litter box at the store today? Hm? Why you insist on calling it a "bath mat" I have no idea.

He is a fighter – if there is any cat fight in the street, it is a certainty that he is involved. He hones his skills with regular surprise attacks on his human. On top of these utterly charming behaviours, he also has flatulence. But Alfie “Mini the Mooch Pepe the Poo” (to give him his full name) WE LOVE YOU!!

Photo submitted by: Chris and Jo

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Gallery: Bella

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

Name: Bella
Location: Unknown

Bella is a meankitty

Come on, gimme a break, EVERYBODY hates teenagers except other teenagers...

What makes Bella so mean?

My daughter Kristina saw Bella being born, so after such a bonding, she had to take the cat home, right? And Bella would love her like a surrogate mother, right? Wrong!

Bella hates her human mommy. She adores my husband and me, but ANYone else is the enemy — she hisses, snarls, yowls, shrieks, swipes at them, tries to bite, etc. It’s quite severe and a little freaky. I explain sheepishly to our guests that Bella is a self-appointed watch-cat, but how to explain the same behavior towards our own daughter? Who, by the way, is not an infant but a teenager who adores animals and has been an animal handler for years. Kristina feeds Bella and empties her box, and only tries to play, kiss and pet her.

My favorite story is when the three of us were sitting on the steps — Bella at the top, myself a step below, and Kristina at the bottom. I reached out for Bella and ended up grabbing her tail because she’d decided to leave at that moment. So she looked OVER my shoulder, DOWN the stairs at Kristina, and hissed and yowled at my daughter, not me.

Submitted by: Lemurlady

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Gallery: Ghost (2)

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Name: Ghost (2)
Location: Casper, WY (No joke!)

Ghost

What am I supposed to do when they put in a bird vending machine on the back porch? Ignore it?

What makes Ghost so mean?

Do not let his cute expression fool you. He is truly a meankitty! Why? Various reasons.

1. He beats up on poor Ollie, a nervous orange cat that came to us before Ghost. Ghost used to try and snuggle with Ollie. Ollie would hiss and not let Ghost near him. Pay back time! He now runs Ollie off his favorite sleeping place just for fun. I swear I can hear him laughing, an evil little laugh it is too.

2. He hogs all the canned food. I feed him first and he gets the lion’s share. He eats really fast and then runs the bigger cats off of the food they haven’t finished. Even if he has food left, he runs over eats the other cats’ food, then goes back to his.

3. Super bird killer. One day before leaving for work he came in the house with a small dead bird. I took it away., 5 minutes later he comes in with a live robin, a full grown one. Got that away too. Right before I leave, here he comes with another dead one. All this in the space of about 20 minutes. I come home for lunch and there are bird feathers every where and what my husband described as a “shredded bird, nothing left but some feathers and guts.”

4. He is trying to kill us. His nickname is Trip, because he will walk right in front of you or sit beside your feet so you will trip over him. Hence: Trip for a nickname. He also goes by CatPig, Ghostie Post Toastie, and Bird Death.

5. For breakfast he wakes you up by shoving his face in yours and breathing on you. He will purr extra loud like he really loves you. Then when you get up, he’ll snag you with a claw. So, if you see a cute little guy that was dumped at your house with another nicer cat, keep the nicer one, the cute shy one is pure cat evil.

PS: Lives with Baggy.

ETA, from the humans: “Ghostie had to be euthanized on 12/15/11. Alas, he was not as mean as inoperable cancer in the corner of his right eye. Knowing Ghostie would not want to live with half a face he went over the bridge. We miss you Ghost! :( Even the other cats seem to miss him.”

Photo submitted by: Sue & Ollie

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Gallery: Olive

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

Name: Olive
Location: WV

Olive is a meankitty

I don't like humans, either. I don't know what that crazy female is talking about.

What makes Olive so mean?

Olive is a ruthless and alien-like being who is never satisfied with anything…ever. She hates anything not human, and really, she could care less about most of OUR female population.

Olive, though de-clawed (by a previous owner), is shadowed only by the likes of Babe Ruth in hits. She will hit anyone, anytime, anywhere. Large scary dog…bring it on! Big horrible tomcat with six toes on each paw…bring it on twice! Olive doesn’t care; she will lurk around corners, in dark hallways, in stairwells, even on the refrigerator, until the moment is tender, and then BAM! A hard blow to the face! Maybe three! Depends what kind of mood she’s in. Then she just skulks off into the darkness. Where to? No one has ever been brave enough to follow.

Olive is a mean meankitty

The bat called me dogbreath. Did you expect me to take that lying down???

I saw her slap a bat out of the air once. Doesn’t get more hard core than that. Just saying.

Submitted by: Jolie Raper Yes That’s Really My Name

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