Archive for November, 2011

Gallery: Chewbacca

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Name: Chewbacca
Location: Kashyyk

GrrAarrrrrrw.What makes Chewy so mean?

Chewy was a stray, but we’re slowly beginning to civilize him. “Chewy” is short for “Chewbacca”, in reference to the fact that he is ugly, hairy, and makes noises like a wookie. He takes no sass from man or beast. He hangs out with raccoons, probably drinking Jack Daniels from the bottle and smoking unfiltered cigarettes. In his spare time Chewy likes sitting in boxes, cupboards and the bath tub.

Chewy has very strict ideas about some things. He doesn’t approve of us talking on the phone or vacuuming the house, and when we do he protests. He also doesn’t approve of daytime naps and will prevent them if possible. Only on rare occasions will he show his sensitive side and ask to be petted, usually early in the morning.

Submitted by: Zach

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Gallery: Ferdinand

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Name: Ferdinand
Location: Sydney

Ferdinand in a box

My past life was rough, man. What can I say?

What makes Ferdinand so mean?

Ferdinand started out life as a sweet darling kitten (we think). By 8 weeks old, he had learned the ways of a MeanKitty!

Being a somewhat large cat (he weighs approx 24lbs and is not fat) he loves to throw his weight around. Ferd’s favourite trick is to be really nice, sit on you, pretend to love you…only to turn around once you feel comfy and chew your hand until you can extricate yourself with the maximum amount of bloodshed.

Our dog Stella is so frightened of Ferd that she will sit and not move in case she invites Ferd’s wrath (and claws) near her. She won’t come in the house or leave it if Ferd is anywhere near the door.

Ferd uses my legs as his scratching post and chew toy, especially if he thinks he is deserving of something or you did something to him in a past life. He makes the most of his voice by sitting in the bathtub to yell. He swipes things off the kitchen bench while having his back feet still on the ground. He absolutely hates my mother and refuses to let her into the house. His usual reaction to other people is to bite and run.

Submitted by: Katy

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Gallery: Ernestine

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Name: Ernestine
Location: CO

Ernestine is a meankitty

Every time the silly humans turned their backs, the chair monster mocked me. This is no more than it deserves. Next up? Vacuum monster. Say your prayers, SUCKA.

What makes Ernestine so mean?

I was repairing the chair when Ernestine, then about six months old, galloped into the living room and attacked it. I think the glowing eyes add to the fearsomeness of her visage. If you look closely, you’ll see she has extra toes on her front paws.

Submitted by: Rhonda

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Gallery: Eugene

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

Name: Eugene
Location: Dunno

Eugene is a meankitty.

Dude, the groom was joking about how he wouldn't marry the lady until she ditched her cat. I had to act!

What makes Eugene so mean?

This is my cat Eugene-Daddy. He is pure evil, but I still love him with all my heart. This cat has committed many evil sins. He attacks other cats and has seriously damaged two in his lifetime, leaving me to pay for the vet bills.

Worse, he attacked my grandmother. She is 95. He went under her dress and luckily only attacked her legs, but his ferocity was frightening. He has killed many mice, rabbits, birds and chipmunks.

These things and others have all led to his terrible reputation. He came to my friend’s wedding (I can’t leave him alone too long in the house for obvious reasons) and bit the groom’s leg. He did this in the middle of the groom’s speech.

Submitted by: Tom

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Gallery: Flash

Friday, November 25th, 2011

Name: Flash
Location: Memphis, TN

Flash is mean

This is what a promise of murder looks like. Now you die!

What makes Flash so mean?

This is Flash. He hates cameras. When he sees them, he starts hissing and his evil yellow eyes promise murder. For some reason, he became even meaner after my dad started calling him “Giloolly” after Tonya Harding’s husband. He has shown a marked tendency to inflict violence upon small children. He even reared up on his hind legs one Thanksgiving and boxed my 4 year old niece’s ears, scratching her badly and necessitating a trip to the ER.

Photo submitted by: Steve

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Gallery: Tiger (3)

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

Name: Tiger (3)
Location: Unknown

Tiger is a meankitty

Look! I'm laying in my catpan! I mean, on the carpet...

What makes Tiger so mean?

Ahhh, Tiger. He has ALWAYS been a Meankitty. Even when he was 2 weeks old, he gave my Grandma a large wound on her arm, my mom a series of nasty bites, and a scar on the side of my stomach. He was all teeth and claws but the size of a coconut.

He has a nasty habit of sleeping on people’s faces, ramming doors open and meowing like an air raid siren at 3am. This might seem cute for some kitties, but when your cat is thirty pounds of evil fury…eek!

Tiger only eats a certain type of cat food. And popcorn. Leave a bowl unattended, and it’ll be gone. When my dog was still with us, the cat would get him to help knock food off the counter, the most memorable being the turkey for Thanksgiving. He drinks from the fish bowls, too.

He also pees on the carpet occasionally, for no reason. Right in front of my mom, sometimes! No kidney issues, nothing. We had to replace an entire floor in a room because of all the damage he caused.

Tiger is an air raid siren

Do I look like an air raid siren to you?

Does he like getting petted? Indeed. But when he’s had enough, he’ll let you know by tearing open your arm. I’d know. I’ve got scars. The worst part is, he does it with his teeth alone or just his back claws. OUCH. Nasty, violent kitty.

Sometimes, it isn’t even provoked. He’ll be walking by my mother doing the laundry and suddenly take a chunk out of her calf.

A thief, a vandal, an attacker…he actually responds to ‘Lucifer.’ He’s a devil kitty. Or as my mom says: “The Diablo Tabby.”

Photo submitted by: Aubrey R.

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Gallery: Merfyn

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

Name: Merfyn
Location: Palm Harbor, FL

Merfyn is a meankitty

Scratch my chin, ooooh yeah, that's how I like it.

What makes Merfyn so mean?

Merfyn was a wee stray who hung around our house during a very cold Thanksgiving 2 years ago. He looked so like Misty, one of our four neutered cats, that we mistook him for her – except he was missing a tail. We fed and watered the obviously starving cat, then, as he was clearly male, decided to take him to an animal shelter. When Bob picked him up he screamed and thrashed so much that Bob had to have a tetanus shot. So, of course, we kept him. He has oversized ears, eyes of different sizes, a habit of telescoping his torso to 2/3rds its size and/or lifting one paw and tilting his head when he wants something, and a heart-stopping yawl when he can’t locate us for 10 seconds. He was appraised on-line as (possibly) a Japanese Bobtail by an expert at the CFA, which explains a lot.

Merfyn sleeping

Giving people tetanus is hard work. Must nap.

He cost us $500+ in initial vet bills then took over the house, terrorizing us & our other cats. He’d wait next to the cat flap from the house to the laundry room, where the cats eat, ready to pounce on an unsuspecting feline coming through. (We have to leave it open to give them a sporting chance.) He’ll literally bite our ankles or chew toes if the food service isn’t speedy enough. He uses our beautiful Mexican pine armoire as his personal scratching post. If we leave him in the care of others when we’re away, he’ll leave us half a rodent on the new carpet as a welcome home present.

Photo submitted by: Julia and Bob

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Gallery: Gilbert

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Name: Gilbert
Location: Provo, UT

Gilbert is a meankitty

What's eating my eyeball? I mean, my grape? Eyeballs are rather tasty, as I've discovered....

What makes Gilbert so mean?

I have a seriously mean kitty! Gilbert adopted us from the humane society the day before Thanksgiving last year. I say adopted up because we walked by his cage and he yowled, stuck his paw out of the bars and snagged my husband’s coat. It seemed cute at the time; in retrospect this might have been a warning.

We got him home and all was well for a few days. At this point Gilbert decided he had made a good first impression and dropped the cutekitty charade. As my husband played with him on the floor one uneventful Sunday morning Gilbert went from playful to psycho in .2 seconds and hooked his claw into my husband’s EYEBALL! As my husband’s eyeball was bleeding with the outer layer severed, we dashed to the emergency room. {Meankitty wants to know: how could he see to dash?] We waited for four hours and were charged close to $500 dollars. When we returned, Gilbert showed no sign of remorse and instead yowled at us for not refilling his food bowl before leaving. We refilled the foodbowl, looked at each other, and admitted defeat. But I now realize that we are not alone in being owned by meankitties.

Meankitty’s second note: we omitted the photos of the bloody eyeball.

Photo submitted by: Cyndi

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Gallery: Smackey

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Name: Smackey
Location: Unknown

Smackey is a meankitty

I learned the stairs trick at a recent SOHC refresher course!

What makes Smackey so mean?

Smackey is a meankitty because, although she is pretty small, she is tough. When we had guests over on Thanksgiving, we let their dog come in. This dog loves cats, so when she went over to meet the cat, Smackey ran up and attacked the poor dog. The dog (large black lab) walked away with her tail between her legs. Poor thing!

Smackey is really heavy on her feet. When she walks around she sounds like a herd of elephants parading around the house at 3 AM. And if she is not walking/tromping around the house, she is sitting on one of the steps leading to the upstairs of the house… she does not move and the staircase is rather steep, so we have all tripped over her at one time or another, which is quite dangerous.

Photo submitted by: Sarah

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Gallery: Cockleburr

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

Name: Cockleburr
Location: Unknown

Cockleburr is a meankitty.

I really prefer bits of scalp, but I'll gnaw off a toe in a pinch.

What makes Cockleburr so mean?

Here is a photo of Her Royal Majesty, The Queen Cockleburr, The World’s Grouchiest Cat. Okay, her name is really just Cockleburr but she responds better if you add the royal title. I had another photo of her where she had brought me a rabbit after she chewed its head off, but I didn’t think that picture was really appropriate for your site.

This cat is 10 years old and was a rescue from my grandmother’s farm. Our neighbor’s full size, purebred German Shepherd is terrified of her. She is the ruler of the neighborhood, unless it’s some raccoon or opossum. Battles with the latter animals have resulted in several trips to the vet to get her shaved and stitched. Despite being Queen, she does NOT like to wear that little Elizabethan collar when she has stitches and takes it out on humans by biting us.

Cockleburr’s hobbies include biting feet, biting hands, biting scalps (I still haven’t figured that one out), chasing strings attached to clothing, shredding furniture and clothing [the better to make strings to chase], and torturing and eating small mammals, amphibians, reptiles and birds. She also enjoys sleeping on humans (which explains why I sometimes wake up thinking that I’m having a heart attack. Your chest would feel heavy too if you had an eleven pound cat on it!)

Submitted by: Anon

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