Advice: 24/7 Hateration Help

Dear Meankitty,

My cat is a complete B*TCH. She’s super adorable, but literally all she thinks about is attacking the other two kitties in my house: a 10 year old Himalayan and a 5 year old…well…fatty. She spends 24 hours a day, 7 days a week stalking the other kitties.

Lately she’s found much sneakier ways to stalk them so it looks like she’s being cute (for example, hiding under the blankets then popping out for an ambush). I have to constantly keep her locked up to get any peace and quiet, but that doesn’t work for long because she rubs her paws on the door and bangs it back and forth!! Help before I ***note edited for unworshipful content***

Signed,

Feelin’ Homicidal

***

Dear FH,

Your stalkery kitty is obviously in need of more stimulation that you are providing for her. She needs interjections! Excitement! Emotion! Hallelujah! Stuff like that. Some methods to reduce kitty boredom might include:

  • Purchasing mice from a pet store and releasing them in batches for Kitty’s enjoyment and funzies
  • Adding a smallish dog to your home so that Kitty will transfer her hateration to the dog instead of her feline cohorts. Nobody cares if dogs get beaten up by cats.
  • Installing a catnip dispenser that you then keep full of catnip. It might not help, but hey, catnip!
  • Shutting the other cats up instead of Kitty when you need a brief respite.
  • Sending the other cats to the Fight Club to get more training in feline combat tactics.

Would any of our visitors care to add some suggestions?

Sincerely,

Meankitty

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2 Responses to “Advice: 24/7 Hateration Help”

  1. Edie Ramer says:

    I think you covered it all. Makes me glad I have my Belle – who only asks that I worship her and to pet her on demand, no matter what else I happen to be doing.

  2. erin says:

    hi