Archive for March, 2011

Gallery: ArchAngel

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Name: ArchAngel aka Angel
Location: Ohio

Archangel is a meankitty

Lo, the Angel of Death is white like a half eaten box of Kleenex and evil like what happens after I eat the box of Kleenex.

What makes Angel so mean?

Angel (aka ArchAngel by the rest of the family) is 6 years old and will only tolerate me. Even I get clawed, batted at, hissed at or finally as a last resort bitten if I ‘misbehave’. Angel was on his way to the humane society and abused badly at his previous home. I promised him a better life. I brought him home, cleaned him up, took him to the vet…whom Angel promptly hissed at, clawed up and bit. We had him checked out, got him medicine, shots, flea protection, and fixed (Angel says that should say “broke”).

Angel was less than impressed, soiling and destroying all he could. We spoiled him rotten, bought him expensive things, even tried leash training him. He got dragged about a half block before I gave up. The neighbors were laughing their butts off at me. I carried the lil devil home…all white cat with one grey side where he’d been dragged.

Archangel is awful

Sorry, you're not one of the humans I must allow to pet me in order to get into kitty Heaven...so bugger off!

Apparently he expected better! He was unhappy with my boyfriend and his dog, so he beat up the black Labrador and still to this day will soil my now husband’s clothes, pillow, coat etc if given the chance. The dog refuses to return, the husband insists on Angel’s litterbox being immaculate so Angel won’t retaliate.

We’ve had other cats for short periods. Angel soon makes life so difficult we gave up. He’s an only cat again and very happy about it. The other cats moved in with my inlaws and the dog. The children occasionally debate moving there also. Angel insists on sleeping next to me, biting me if I roll the wrong way. My husband is relegated to against the wall and if we try to play, wrestle, or do anything Angel disapproves of, Angel growls and THWAP! my husband gets hit on the head. Our children occasionally like to wrestle too. We have to put Angel out of the room.

My Husband bought me a bird. Big Mistake. Cheeky the cockatiel has had to become my daughter’s bird. Angel looks at the cockatiel with great disdain, and I swear he’s biding his time till our feathered friend is loose alone, then he’ll have flying lunch.

10/09 Update:

Now that he is 13 years old, he has mellowed quite a bit. Hubby says of him “He’s an old cat trying to get to Heaven”! Sometimes I wonder if it’s true. He’s actually let a few people other than me pet him in recent years! GrammaZ was so tickled she got to touch him after 12 years!

Fox is a meankitty

Please...pardon my dogness...but I am still a fox, am I not?

The 2nd cat pictured here is relatively new. We rescued “Foxtail” from the humane society 4 years ago. Angel actually-tolerated us getting a second cat. Fox is the opposite of Angel- sweetest most loving & playful cat ever. He even fetches balls like a d-o-g. Angel glares when this happens but doesn’t attack anymore.

But never fear, even in his old age, Angel is still weird. He still drinks out of the fish tanks and cannot resist playing with plastic milk jug lid rings. Anything shiny on tables is batted off quickly. He is currently pissed at us because we adopted 2 dogs. I end up doing a lot of laundry that Angel soils in protest.

The “flying lunch” cockatiel “Cheeky” died last year- thankfully, not as lunch. Whew!

Submitted by: Cindy

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Gallery: April

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

Name: April
Location: Scotland

April is a meankitty

April MAY (june?) do as she likes!

What makes April so mean?

April was a stray before we got her from the Cat Rescue Unit. I am 12 years old and I’ve wanted a cat since I was 6. We got our cats, Lucy & April, about 4 years ago. April is Lucy’s mother. April is really horrible to Lucy and meows madly and hisses at her all the time. April likes chocolate and had to get some of her teeth removed when we got her because her teeth were rotten and probably causing her pain. April is the meanest kitty I’ve ever known in my life. She puts the “OW!” into “MEOW!”.

Photo submitted by: Hazel

RIP April, who left us in 2004 for the big scratching post in the sky.

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Gallery: Daisy (2), the Curly Cat

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

Name: Daisy
Location: Unknown

Daisy is a meankitty

This is me having a good time. Bitey, bitey, bo bitey!

What makes Daisy so mean?

Daisy outraged

What is this Play Paw thing? It totally ruins my good time.

My name is Daisy. I am a mean kitty because I love to bite the hand that pets me. Giving the bitey is very, very fun. I like to use my claws too, but not as much as I like to give the bitey. My human bought me this thing called a Play Paw so she can play with me when I am “Being Bad”, which, as we cats know, is just the typical human lack of understanding of SOHC requirements. And good times. And great oldies. But I do not like the Play Paw.

Daisy is a madkitty

I do not like it, Sam I am. I do not like it on your hand. I do not like it in my hair. I do not like it anywhere.

My website: http://daisythecurlycat.blogspot.com/

Submitted by: Abby

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Gallery: Angel

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Name: Angel
Location: Somewhere Other Than Heaven

Angel is a meankitty

Looooook at me while I claw the furniture...

What makes Angel so mean?

Angel acted pitiful and lonely when we met her. We took her in after kids in the neighborhood tortured her. Now she tortures us. She viciously attacks our feet and makes sure we are looking when she claws the furniture. Otherwise, she’s frisky and nice, but she teases my husband terribly. She’ll roll around and smile coquettishly and ask for loving, then spurn his hand. She also teases our dogs through the window.

Angel is destructive also

For my next trick, I shall chew through...an electric cord!

The spray bottle as a disciplinary tool is not nearly as effective as kissing her. You ought to see the sourpuss look on her face when we do that!

Submitted by: Anon

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Gallery: Andi

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

Name: Andi
Location: Unknown

Andi is a meankitty

Me, a DAWG!?? Seriously, who would want to be a dog when you can be a cat?

What makes Andi so mean?

This is Andi. She is a mean kitty even if my husband insists she is his dog. I am partially blind and she lies in wait, but that is typical of most kitties. Andi, however, is tricksy. She lies in wait in her “cat cave.” I have a devise to keep the bed covers off my feet because of diabetes complications. She sneaks in *there* and waits. I don’t always see her. When I go to bed the little furry piranha shreds my feet!

Once she learned to jump to the top of the shower door, she leaps on my head before the water starts. My friend sent me a stuffed frog. Andi managed to get it off a high shelf and eat its nose. Poor noseless frog. Once my husband left the lid off the toad’s terrarium. She sat inside on top of the logs, glaring at the toads cowering in the corner. She didn’t eat them but they are traumatized for life.

There is so much. I keep saying how cute and loving she can be but my friends say it is an act and she is only lulling me into a false sense of security to attack me once again. They could be right; the little devil just bit my nose!

Submitted by: Karen M.

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Gallery: Butterscotch

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Name: Butterscotch
Location: MA

Butterscotch is a meankitty

Nice, comfy photo drawer. I will mangle the drawer's contents as soon as the staff turns their backs.

What makes Butterscotch so mean?

Hi, I am Butterscotch! I don’t think I am a meankitty but the slaves are the ones submitting the pictures.

I require attention when I want it. Please tell me why that is mean? My mommy-slave thinks I am mean at times. I wake her up in the middle of the night by hitting her face with my claws because I want to be petted. Doesn’t she know petting cats lowers slaves’ blood pressure?

Butterscotch...scoot!

I gave up sitting on newspapers when humans want to read. This is the 21st century. I sit on laptops!

8 years ago she brought home a kitten. So, I chase him around and hit him a bit. It’s to teach him, not because I’m mean. I am proud of the scar I put on his nose from when she first got him.

I also eat everything, but I don’t think that’s mean, either. I love doughnuts, so when they forget and put the bag on the table, I jump up and chew threw the bag. Yummy! I wish they didn’t get jelly ones, though. I always ending up wearing it and then they know what I’ve been up to. Otherwise I blame the other cat.

Butterscotch is a meankitty

Whatever it is, the other cat did it.

So you be the judge — I’m not mean, am I?

Submitted by: Karen

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Gallery: Nikka

Sunday, March 20th, 2011

Name: Nikka
Location: Independence, KY

Nikka is a meankitty

Check out my uni-fang! I can still fong the crap out of you with it.

What makes Nikka so mean?

Nikka has had a tough life. As a kitten, she was rescued from a busy road by a well-meaning cat lover (me). When I grabbed her from the asphalt and saved her life, she promptly urinated all over me…what an introduction! Nikka doesn’t trust many people (including me) and doesn’t get along with her kitty sisters either.

She despises: people, other cats, all dogs, rules, closed doors, having her bath interrupted, when the treats run out, and when her tuna is late in getting on its plate and getting in front of her twice a day. On one of her nightly escapades she had a brush with a car and we figured that was the end of her, but after a six-week recuperation period and extensive dental work, her shoulder healed nicely and she started to sneer again to show us her Uni-Fang. She’s 12 years old and nothing can keep her down. She inspired me to write the following ditty that is known around our house as “The Nikka Rap”!

My name’s Nikka and I’m too mean to die
Touch me once and you’ll find out why
I’ll fuss and fuss and give you a swat
Scratch you good with nary a thought.
Now get my tuna out and get it on a plate!

Hit me with a car? Come on now.
I’ll bounce right back with a big MEEOWW!
I’ll snuggle up at night when the lights are low
But deny it in the morning, don’t you know.
Now quit making noise there, I’m tryin’ to sleep late!

Submitted by: Jennifer

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Gallery: Patrick

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Note: In honor of St Patrick’s Day, 2011, we have…

Name: Patrick
Location: Philly

Patrick is a meankitty

Personally, I think her arm looked more like a balloon animal than a grapefruit.

What makes Patrick so mean?

Well just ask the v*t. He once almost took out one of the technician’s eyes during a routine exam–they now all wear protective eye gear (in addition to the thick suede gloves, towel and of course the ever-present dog catcher net).

Or you can ask his worker-human whom he has sent to the emergency room not once, not twice, but three times for intravenous antibiotics after scratching her so bad her arm blew up like a grapefruit.

You could also ask his former cat-sister Gigi (who sadly now lives at the Rainbow Bridge). He used to stalk her whenever she tried to …you know…in the litter box. It got to the point where she stopped using it.

Then there is the kitty shrink (who said that Patrick was an “attention seeking” cat) and his worker-human’s friend Barbara (who described him as a “lawsuit waiting to happen”).

Photo submitted by: Anon

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Letters: Invite Me In!

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Dear Meankitty,

I’m a gonna get into that house and GET you!

Signed,
Back Porch Vampire Kitty (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmsuwK_UMLU)

***

Dear Vampire Kitty,

How many times do I have to tell you — you’re not a vampire, you’re Caspar the Dumbly Ghost? Can’t you even get your fake movie matinee creatures straight? I have been wondering if maybe you’re the ghost of Morris, because we haven’t seen him around in a while. Come on, fess up!

Sincerely,
Meankitty

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